Part 1 and1/2
A day in the life of Palpatine
Ok, because of the response to the documentary on Darth Vader, and more specifically people saying how funny Palpatine was, I went and filmed just Palpatine for a day. Here it is:
It was a regular day on the star destroyer that pay-pal woke up to.
"It's Palpatine, you ugly retard" Palpatine said.
"How do you know I'm ugly…I'm the narrator." Responded the narrator
"Because you got burned alive on a volcanic planet called Mustafar.yes, I know it's you, Vader"
"It's not Vader, It's James earl Jones, Who's retarded now! Go James, earl Jones!"
Lets skip that part…Flashes forward to Palpatine watching his shows.
"No Roderick don't do it!" the TV screamed. But being that it's a soap opera, he did it.
Mad, at Roderick for doing it, Palpatine blows up his TV with force lightning. Suddenly he gets an idea!
"I've got an idea! I'll make a huge ball that can blow things up! I'll call it the ball that can blow things up!" He exclaimed.
"Maybe you should call it the death star," said a storm trooper.
"That's a stupid name. 'Death star' what's that supposed to mean?"
"It means a star that brings doom, you fat retard! Oh and by the way, that space chick you hooked me up with and I dated broke up with me." He said
"Aw, I'm sorry. But since you called me a retard, I have to kill you." Palpatine said
"Man, today is just not my day." Said the storm trooper. He tried to run, but the force lightning picked him up, tickled him until he pee'd himself, set the pee on fire, which burned him, and the killed him.
Fast forward…Here is Palpatine at dinner with Darth Vader…
"Why are you late for dinner, Vader?"
"hold on, lets pray. Dear God, we thank you for creating planets so we can blow them up, we thank you for this food that will feed us so that we have the energy to go kill people for no good reason, and we would ask that you would bless the hands who have made this so that if it's crappy, we can go kill him (flashes to the chef getting into a spaceship). Amen"
"Well Vader how was your day?"
"Fine, I guess. I vent to Dagobah to find Yoda. I didn't find him but I found Elvis. Man, this guy is fat, but man can he sing! Then after that I went to Hoth and went Clubbing. I met this girl, her name was Barbra Bush, she said she was married and tried to slap me, but broke her hand on my helmet."
"Now Darth, You know what I say about girls…" Palpatine said intently
"Yeah, don't ask for their numbers, ask if they wanna join the sith army."
"There ya go."
"So anyways, after that I Came back here and being that I felt bad for breaking Barbra's hand, I killed a whole bunch of storm troopers with force tickle."
"Now Darth, You know my rule on killing storm troopers…"
"Yeah, I know, don't kill them unless you can cover it up with classical music. So anyways after that you called me for dinner but when I got up, I realized that the technician turned on the Magnet so I got stuck to the wall for an hour. So then I came to dinner."
After dinner…Palpatine decide to go to bed. But he had to perform his night ritual first. He had to go blow up a planet. Tonight, it was Yavin 452. So he counted. 1,2,3,4,573,0, BOOM!
So Palpatine went to bed.
THE END!