Title: Leaving
Series: Our Mrs. Cobb
Author: Sevangel
Disclaimer: Not mine; all belongs to J. W.
Rating: PG-13
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Willow snuggles her face into the warmth beside her, sighing lightly as she slowly starts to wake up.
Mal looks over the redhead snuggling into his chest to the dark-haired companion being propped up by her hand. "Mornin'."
"Good morning, Mal." Inara smiles softly at him. "She likes to cuddle, doesn't she?"
"Look like." Mal replies. "Where'd you go?"
"Bathroom and to check on everyone else." Inara answers.
"And?" Mal prods.
"River and Jayne are sleeping as are Kaylee and Simon." Inara replies. "Zoe, Wash, and Book are helping Nandi straighten everything out so we can leave in a few hours."
"You don't need to stay?" Mal questions. "Thought you needed to see Nandi or somethin' like that."
"I did." Inara replies. "And I have and now I'm ready get back to space."
"So am I darlin'." Mal says. "So am I."
"You two make it awful hard to sleep." Willow mutters, rolling onto her back and stretching with a loud yawn. "How long did I sleep?"
"Ten hours or so." Inara replies.
"What?" Willow sits up quickly, running a hand through her hair. "You let me sleep for ten hours?"
"You needed to sleep." Mal says.
"But for ten hours?" Willow replies. "I have things to do, Mal."
"What the gorram hell do you mean you got things to do?" Mal asks. "What things?"
"This is the first time we've been anywhere with this much undisturbed nature." Willow answers. "I'm going to meditate."
"NO!" Mal shouts. "You ain't doin' none of that meditatin', not after what happened last time."
"First off, you're not my father or my husband." Willow shouts back. "You can't tell me what to do."
"But I am the gorram captain of the ship you're ridin' on." Mal points out angrily.
"But we're not on your ship so technically, right now, at this very second, you're not my captain." Willow replies just as angrily. "And if I want to meditate, than I darn well will."
"Willow." Inara whispers worriedly. "Please?"
The angry look drops off Willow's face. "Look, I get that you're worried." She says softly. "Both of you but this is something I have to do, something I need to do. I promise as long as nobody bothers me, I'll be perfectly fine."
Mal tugs on Willow's arm, pulling the redhead back onto to his chest. "You're gonna drive me insane." He growls. "And give Nara over there gray hair."
"And the funny thing, I've actually been being very careful and taking less chances than I normally would." Willow comments, giggling when both Mal and Inara pale.
"Brat." Mal growls, pushing Willow onto her back. Before the redhead can move, he digs his fingers into her belly until she's squealing with laughter.
"Stop." Willow squeals. "Stop, stop." When Mal doesn't even let up his torture, Willow reaches her arms behind her and tugs on Inara, pulling the companion on top of her body and in the process, trapping Mal's hand between them.
"What are…don't you even dare Malcolm Reynolds." Inara warns, trying to scramble away from him. She almost makes it when she's suddenly flipped over onto her back, a hundred and ten pounds of giggle girl straddling her belly. "Willow."
"Don't act so shocked." Willow grins. "I've been in many a tickle war."
"Aww, but Nara here ain't ticklish." Mal says, flopping down beside them, this time being the one propped up by his arm. "It wouldn't be dignified."
Willow gently walks her fingers over Inara's belly, searching out the companion's ticklish spots. As her fingers brush over Inara's ribs, the dark haired woman giggles. "Somebody's ticklish." Willow singsongs.
Mal laughs as the two women fight; Willow giggling loudly as she tries to keep tickling Inara. They continue for a few minutes until Willow eventually collapses on top of Inara, both girls panting from their little war.
Inara lifts a hand up and pushes the hair of Willow's face. Then with a sigh, she pulls Willow's mouth down to hers.
Willow can feel the blush covering her face, a little embarrassed that Mal is watching her and Nara kiss but she doesn't pull back. After a few seconds, she feels Mal's big, warm hand touch the small of her back.
It's like every fantasy he's had in the past couple weeks come to life, only better. He's always thought he'd get jealous to see Nara kissin' on somebody else but he's not. And he knows the only reason he's not is cause it's Willow; if it were anybody else, he'd probably flip. His eyes widen and his cock hardens when Nara slips a hand up Willow's side to cup her breast.
Willow breaks the kiss with a gasp, arching slightly into Inara's hand. She moans deep in her throat when the companion twists her nipple and opens her heavy eyes to see Mal watchin' them with the most enamored expression anyone's ever graced her with. Balancing herself on her right hand, he uses her left to pull Mal's head towards hers.
The second her mouth touches his, Mal groans and pushes his tongue into her mouth. He can taste her, that sunshine taste that he knows only comes from Willow, and he can taste Nara, that heavy, sensual taste that can only belong to the companion. He literally eats at Willow's mouth until she pulls away, gasping like a fish out of water, trying to pull air into her lungs.
Her nipples are hard and she's soaking her panties. Inara kneads the firm globe of Willow's breast as she watches them kiss. She's doesn't get aroused, not unless she means to. It's something that companions train themselves on. Technically, she should be able to watch Mal pound into Willow without even the slightest twinge until she wants to but they just shove that control out the window. And when Willow pulls away from Mal to drag in air, Inara leans over to kiss the captain herself, moaning at the dual tastes of Mal and Willow.
Willow leans up slightly, watching Inara and Mal kiss with dazed eyes. Goddess if she doesn't want them both, right now, more than she's ever wanted anything in her life. Her hands slip under the hem of her t-shirt, intending to pull it off, when she remembers. With slight sob, she jumps off them, running out of the room before they even break the kiss.
She can feel Willow move off her and opens her eyes just in time to see Willow run out of the room. She breaks the kiss, sitting up with a worried expression.
"Willow?" Mal sits up, pushing a hand through his hair. "What the gorram hell happened?"
Inara gives him a look.
"Not that, Nara." Mal rolls his eyes and spins around to find his boots. "I know what was happenin', I meant what happened with Willow?"
"I'm not sure." Inara stands up and with a shaking hand, tries to restore some type of order to her hair.
"Well, get your shoes on, darlin'." Mal orders. "Got us a redhead to find."
-
"I'm fine." River stands up and stretches. "And I need to find Willow."
"Why?" Jayne grunts, sitting up with a groan.
"She needs me." River replies simply. She searches the room until she finds the clothes she was wearing before. She slips the dress on and walks back over to Jayne. "Morning." She kisses his forehead and flutters out of the room before he can stop her.
Jayne grumbles as he stands up and pulls his boots and pants on. He grabs his shirt and sticks a pistol into the small of his back. Looking around the room, he grabs River's boots with a sigh; gorram genius don't have the sense to put her gorram shoes on fore going out.
"Willow with you?" Jayne asks Mal as they both step into the hallway.
"No." Mal replies. "Where's River?"
"Hell, I don't know." Jayne says. "She took off, said Willow needed her."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mal asks.
"Don't know that either." Jayne replies. "Last time she said that was right fore Willow threw that fit and had to be sedated."
Mal mutters under his breath as he stomps down the stairs, Inara right behind him carrying Willow's shoes. Jayne raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything as he follows them downstairs.
"Sir?" Zoe stands up, eyeing Mal in a way only he understands.
"Willow and River come through here?" Mal asks.
"Willow ran through bout 5 minutes ago followed shortly by River." Zoe answers. "They went outside."
"We tried to talk to them but Willow didn't say anything and River just told us it would be okay." Wash adds.
"Ruttin' hell." Mal mutters, stomping through the kitchen and out the back door. "She's gonna drive me nuts."
-
River sits down a few inches away from Willow, her legs crossed, and holds out her hands. 'Hi.'
'Hi.' Willow says back telepathically and then takes the genius's offered hands.
'What's wrong?' River asks. 'Did something happen?'
'Sort of.' Willow replies. 'We were kissing and stuff and I wanted to so bad and then I realized I can't. They don't know; don't know who I am or what I've done and I can't….I loved Tara but a part of me never forgave her for lying to me for a year. We were so close and so intimate but she lied and hid the fact that she thought she was a demon from me. I wouldn't have cared if she was, it's just…I trusted her more than I'd ever trusted anybody and she hid that from me. And I can't do that to them; I can't get any closer to them while they don't know.'
'Then tell them.' River says.
'I can't.' Willow replies. 'What if they can't handle what I am; what if they look at me and just see what I see whenever I look in the mirror."
'I think you're underestimating Inara and Mal's abilities to be open-minded.' River says.
'You don't understand, River.' Willow argues. 'Jayne loves you and he couldn't care less about what you've done or how 'crazy' you might be or anything, for that matter. He accepts you completely as you are.'
'And how do you know they won't accept you?' River questions.
'I tried to end the world, River.' Willow states. 'I flayed a man alive, tortured a man I considered my 2nd father, fought my best friend, and then tried to end the world. How can they ever accept that?'
'I don't know.' River replies. 'But if you don't ever give them the chance, than either will you.'
"I can't." Willow whispers out loud. "I can't."
River lets go of Willow's hands, leans forward to kiss her forehead, and stands up. "Then you'll never know." With that said, River walks calmly back into Nandi's house, not speaking to any of the crew as she passes them.
"Willow, what's goin' on?" Mal asks, being sure to keep a good distance between himself and the area she's sitting in.
"Nothing." Willow stands up and faces the crew. "Nandi, it was nice to meet you and I'm sorry for the trouble we got Billy into. Just so you know, it was none of his fault; we forced him to go. Goodbye." Then she turns and walks the opposite direction River went, heading towards Serenity.
"Where the gorram hell are you goin'?" Mal grabs her arm to stop her, Inara right beside him.
"Back to the boat." Willow replies.
"Willow." Inara says softly.
"I can't do this." Willow whispers. "I can't put you two through….it just wouldn't be fair."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mal asks.
"I'm leaving." Willow looks up at both of them. "The next main planet we land on, I'm getting off."
Mal's mouth drops open in shock and when she tugs her arm, he lets go.
Willow clenches her fists, trying to hold back tears, and runs to the boat as fast as she can. She doesn't stop until she reaches the room she shares with River. She runs into the bathroom, glancing at the mirror to see her eyes jet black, and barely makes it to the toilet before she pukes.
-
Kaylee sulks into the mess, the look on her face giving the gathered crew the answer they're looking for.
"She wouldn't talk to you either?" Book questions.
"No." Kaylee plops down between Simon, a sad, distressed look on her face. After they left Nandi's, Inara suggested they give Willow a few hours to rethink the situation. They gave her two days. And then one by one, they went to talk to the redhead and one by one, they were ignored.
"Only leaves you, little witch." Mal says. "Go."
"There is no need for me to go." River replies.
"Why's that?" Mal questions.
"Because I know why she's leaving." River answers.
The room goes silent.
"You mean she just done told you before or you've known the whole time?" Jayne questions, turning her on his lap until she's looking up into his face.
"I knew before you did." River replies.
"You wanna explain then?" Mal says, running a hand through his hair. "Cause I'm drawin' a gorram blank."
"I can't." River looks him dead in the eyes. "I won't betray her confidence."
"You best be worryin' bout betrayin' me." Mal jumps to his feet with a shout. "This is my gorram boat, little girl, and if I ruttin' tell you to do somethin', you're gonna ruttin' do it."
Jayne sets River aside and stands up to face the irate captain. "Don't ruttin' yell at her."
"I'll yell at her if I ruttin' want to." Mal yells at the merc.
"Mal." Inara places a hand on his arm. "Don't."
"I just wanna know what the ruttin' hell is goin' on." Mal shouts. "I wanna know why after everything that's happened, she just decides she's gotta leave now."
River sighs heavily. "She's afraid."
"Afraid of what, little witch?" Mal asks.
"Of you." River replies, almost laughing at the irony of Mal's nickname for her. "Of all of you."
"We ain't gonna hurt her." Mal says. "Why the gorram hell would she be afraid we'd hurt her?"
"She's afraid once you know, once you see, you'll wish she had gotten off." River explains. "She's afraid that then when you look at her, all she'll see is your fear."
Mal sits back down, the heel of his hands moving to massage his eyes. "Will we?"
"I don't know." River replies honestly. "You search and look and hunt for an answer. And after you find it, you may wish you never asked the question. I honestly don't know how any of you will respond but I understand her fear." She leans her head back, kisses Jayne's nose and then moves off his lap. "I'm going to show her how to wave Dawn back."
Mal stares at her for a second and then nods.
"What could be so bad that she thinks we'll be that afraid of her?" Wash asks. "I mean it's Willow, yeah she said she killed somebody but that was out of grief."
"I don't know." Mal leans back, closing his eyes with a deep sigh. He feels Inara sit down beside him and when she leans her head against his shoulder, he doesn't argue. "I honestly don't gotta gorram clue."
Inara bites her lip, completely surprised by the need for physical pain to keep from crying. She doesn't want Willow to leave but like Mal, has no idea how to keep her here.
-
"WILLOW!"
Willow smiles despite the fact that she feels so horrible. "Dawnie, I can't believe.."
"I know." Dawn interrupts, her voice raspy from tears. "Oh, god Wills, I can't believe you're here and I'm getting to talk to you. When Spike told us, I thought he was drunk or maybe it was the first again but he said it was you, that he was a hundred percent positive it was you. How did you get here?"
"Buffy." Willow replies. "From what River says, Buffy brought me here."
The connection goes so quiet that for a second, Willow thinks it cut off.
"Really?" Dawn whispers and Willow can practically feel the tears in the key's question.
"I saw her Dawnie." Willow says. "I talked to her and I hugged her. Okay, it was in a dream but it was her, I know it was. I could never forget how Buffy felt."
"Why?" Dawn asks. "Why here and why now?"
"River said Buffy was waiting for the perfect time." Willow replies.
"What's she like?" Dawn questions.
"Buffy?"
"I know what Buffy's like, Wills." Dawn says. "I mean River. What's she like?"
"Smart, smartest person I've ever met actually." Willow replies, confused by why Dawn wants to know. "And she's stronger than anybody…the things she's experienced and the things that have been done to her, I'm surprised she didn't cut her own wrists a long time ago; I would have."
"You're supposed to help her." Dawn comments.
"I know." Willow agrees. "But I can't. I can't help anybody, Dawnie. I'm the last person that Buffy should have sent to help people. The things I've done…"
"We've all done things we wished we hadn't." Dawn cuts in. "It's not all who you are."
"I'm leaving." Willow says. "And Spike said if I need more money or anything, he'd get it to me so can you ask him to?"
"He's already set up an account for you." Dawn replies. "You can access it at any postal station, bank, government office, or docking yard. It's your name and the password is 'scoobies'."
"Thank you." Willow says gratefully.
"You were sent here for a reason, Willow." Dawn warns. "And I think you should probably see that reason through."
"I don't need a lecture, Dawnie." Willow replies. "I'm old enough…"
"Don't forget who's the oldest here." Dawn interrupts. "Cause we know who it is."
"That is so not fair." Willow whines.
"But it's what's real." Dawn replies. "You're a scary person and you've done some gorram scary things but they're not everything you are. Don't let fear make decisions for you; you won't like the results."
"When did you get so freakin' smart?" Willow asks.
"Somewhere between my 1st and 2nd century." Dawn answers with a laugh. "No matter what you choose, I want to see you. I need to hug my Willow."
"And I need to hug my Dawnie." Willow replies. "And I want to met the Fred/Illyria creature."
"She's not a creature." Dawn says. "She's still Fred but with a lot of Illyria thrown in. And speaking of, she's looking rather impatient so I've got to go."
"Huh?" Willow murmurs.
"Takes a lot to keep them satisfied." Dawn explains. "A hell of a lot and I know what that look means and unless you want a free show, I gotta go."
"Tell Spike and what do you call her?" Willow asks.
"Ria." Dawn replies.
"And Ria I said hi."
"Will do." Dawn assures her. "Love you, Wills."
"Love you too, Dawnie." Willow says and then pushes the button River told her ends the wave. She rises slowly from the pilot's chair and opens the door with a squeak. "Goddess, you scared me."
"Didn't mean to." Mal mutters. "You done?"
"Yes." Willow steps aside so he can pass. "Thank you."
"Yeah." Mal mutters, walking past her to drop down in the co-pilot's chair. "We gotta drop of some cargo in a bit and then we'll get you to your main planet so you can leave."
"Fine." Willow bites her lips and walks down the steps, trying to stay as composed as she can. She doesn't respond to any of the crew as she passes, just focuses on getting back to her room without falling apart.
-