Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Drake.

Chapter 2

Oh no! thought Drizzt. Karaoke never ended well. It usually ended with a drunk Wulfgar being called up to sing a solo of Who Killed My Beloved Cattie Brie, and then when he named the killer, Wulfgar takes a swing at him, and everyone went home with bruises after the riot which was soon to follow. They had banned smoking, but the real danger was karaoke. He turned to Wulfgar.

"I'm going to get out of here. Come with me, friend. We can get drinks somewhere else. Maybe visit Regis in the infirmary." Wulfgar got up and started to follow Drizzt outside, when Drake stood up again.

"Stop the drow!" he shouted. "Let's burn him!"

Drizzt raised his eyebrows. What a cur. Oh well. They brought death upon themselves. He reached for his scimitars, but they weren't there! He whirled around quickly, only to see Wulfgar giggling and holding them above his head.

"Jump for it!" He swung the scimitars back and forth.

"Hey! Give it back! Bully! C'mon! This isn't funny!" Drizzt jumped and jumped, but couldn't get them back. Then he was grabbed and tied down. "Cattie Brie!" he shouted. "Bruenor! Help! Wulfgar's intoxicated and I'm going to be burned!"

"Drake! How dare you? This here's me best friend. You let him up now!"

"NO!"

"…all right. Where are the matches? Bruenor grab the alcohol."

"Hey!" shouted Drizzt. "Stop! Bully!"

The door suddenly smashed off its hinges. "Unhand the drow! He's mine!"

"Entreri?" came the shocked reply from everyone.

"Artimes?" Drake said, a little later then everyone.

"Drake?" Entreri walked up to his old assassin training buddy. "How've you been? I'm glad to see you took a disliking to the drow right away also. But you see, I've had this thing going with him, where we fight, and I lose by just a little bit, and then we continue it another time, so I really want to kill him. We could have a duel for you!"

Drake pondered this for a moment. "All right. Release the drow! And you, fat man! Give him back his scimitars." Wulfgar handed them over and then sat down to cry.

"I'm not fat. I'm just big boned."

Cattie Brie rolled her eyes. "Not this again. Drop the subject both of you. Now, should we cheer for Drizzt, who we were about to burn, or Artimes, who we all hate because, well, because Drizzt hates him. But if we hate Drizzt, then Artimes is our friend! Yeah! Go Entreri!"

"Now that hurts." Drizzt clutched at his heart. Then he screamed in pain and collapsed on the floor.

"Stupid wench! I was about to finally kill him! Why did you break his heart?"

"I didn't know! Honest!" I never knew Drizzt felt that way about me!

That's because you're dense!

Who was that?

Who do you think? You're conscious you cow.

Oh no. I've finally done it. Gone crazy. Well, it's all Wulfgar's fault. Everything is his fault. It's his fault Drizzt died; our marriage didn't work, why father loves me best…

Give it a rest. If you kiss Drizzt, he'll come back to life!

What? Awesome! As Cattie Brie leaned down to kiss the life back into Drizzt, Drake ran up and stabbed him in the stomach.

"What was that?" shouted Cattie Brie. "This is the end of our relationship. I never want to see you again! Drizzt! Come back to us! Please!" She took Drizzt by the shoulders and shook him very hard.

"That's not going to help." groaned Drizzt. "I'm bleeding from my stomach. My heart feels better though."

Entreri walked up intending to kick Drizzt in the face, but missed and kicked Wulfgar.

"Grrrrrrrrrrr! You make Wulfgar mad. You pay!" Wulfgar lunged at Entreri.

"You are truly a barbarian. You can't even talk! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!"

A dark shadow came through the door. "Is that Entreri laughing? I never thought I'd see the day."

"Jarlaxle? How did you get here?" demanded Entreri. But then he was tackled by Wulfgar and he never got an answer. Entreri fell on a fork. It went straight through his neck. No one was hungry, so he was dragged outside into a ditch where the wild dogs could get at him.

"Never liked him anyway. Drizzt! What happened to you?" But he never got an answer because Drizzt was unconscious. "Quick! Pour some of that ale onto his stomach. That should stop the bleeding."

"Thank you doctor." said someone from the crowd.

"I'm not a doctor! What on earth made you think that?"

"But, the bleeding stopped!"

"Did it? Amazing!" Jarlaxle suddenly jumped into the air and grabbed a microphone from the broom closet. "I thought this was a karaoke party!" The crowd cheered once again.

"What happened to burning the drow?"

"Shut up. Who's singing first? Drake, how about you?"

"Um, Drake had to…leave, quite suddenly. He won't be coming back. But I'll sing!"

"All right Cattie Brie! Step on up!"

Unfortunately, what was to follow is too graphic to be described in detail, so I'll sum it up for you. Cattie Brie got up to sing, and she started out very well, but then she started singing about people in the bar, particularly Wulfgar. The lyrics were quite offensive, so Wulfgar stood up to protest in a violent manner, but Drizzt tackled him. Now we may resume the story.

"Don't you dare touch my Cattie Brie!"

"Your Cattie Brie? I don't belong to anybody, thank you very much."

"Anyway, if she belongs to anybody it's me! I'm her husband."

"Bah! She left ye. She's mine 'cause I'm 'er father."

"Get off of me you-." Wulfgar was cut off as Drizzt slammed his elbow into his neck, then he proceeded to pull a dagger out of his shoe and pin Wulfgar's foot to the floor.

"Now, you stay there and we'll sort this out later. Cattie Brie, get off the stage. Bruenor put down your beer and we can all go back to the mountain and get rid of our hangovers there."

Jarlaxle stepped up. "Can I come? I'm quite lonely. Artemis seems to have been eaten by wild dogs."

"Sure. Why not? Come. Let us depart."