Title: Stages
Series: Our Mrs. Cobb
Author: Sevangel
Rating: PG-14
Disclaimer: Not mine; all JW
-
A high-pitched deafening scream echoes through the halls of Serenity, the lights flickering momentarily.
"She's awake." River announces and gracefully moves to her feet.
Mal stands up and follows the genius into the infirmary where Simon is standing over the still unconscious body of Willow. "Thought you said she's awake."
"She is." River moves over to stand beside Willow, holding her hand up when Jayne starts to object. "Willow."
Willow's back arches almost in half before she sits up straight, her body's movements inhuman. Her gaze skirts wildly around the infirmary, her face almost completely covered by her jet-black hair. She starts to scoot back on the sickbed, mumbling to herself.
Mal steps up beside River and tries to place a hand on Willow's shoulder; she scoots back with a screech. "Hey, there darlin', I'm not gonna hurt you."
"It's not me you should be concerned with."
Mal takes a step back at the deepness of her voice and then jumps back when she tilts her head back to look at him. Disturbin' as it is seein' her with black hair, her black eyes and veins are enough to make him place a hand on his pistol.
"No, no." Willow makes a little clucking noise with her tongue and starts to wave her hand.
"NO!" River shouts. "Willow, stop it."
"Willow doesn't live here anymore."
Willow's head snaps back from the force of River's smack.
"Stop it." River orders. "This isn't you. Don't let it control you, Willow, you're stronger than that."
Willow's eyes flutter from black to green and then back to black. "River?"
"Yes, it's River." River sighs with relief.
"Oh, goddess, what have I done?" Willow gasps. "Does everyone still…"
"We are still in possession of our epidermis." River assures her. "How are you?"
"I can't…my hair is black still, isn't it?" Willow asks.
"Your eyes and a few veins too." River replies.
"Rats." Willow mutters. "Okay, I have to go outside."
"That might prove to be a little impossible, not-red." Jayne says, stepping up behind River, his hands clasping around her protectively. "We ain't on land no more."
Willow looks at him and then looks to Mal. "We're not?"
"Kaylee fixed what the raiding party did to Serenity and then we left." Mal replies evenly. "You wanna explain what the ruttin' hell is goin' on?"
"Can't now." Willow says. "Need to…oh goddess, what am I going to do?"
"We can open the bay door and you could…." River starts to suggest.
"And cause some kinda funky black hole or something?" Willow interrupts. "No thanks."
"What about the boat?" River asks.
"I don't know what it would do, River." Willow clenches her fists, riding out the wave of magic as it pours through her body, looking for a way out.
"You could put it in me." River suggests, wincing as Jayne's hands tighten around her.
"No!." Willow states firmly. "I won't do that to you."
"You did it to Spike and Angel." River points out.
"Yeah, and it just gave them a buzz for a while." Willow replies. "Pouring that amount of magic into a normal human would probably put them into some kinda magical coma."
"Magic?" Simon snorts in disbelief. "Let me guess, you're a witch."
"Right in one." Willow agrees, sitting cross-legged on the med bed and closing her eyes.
"No." River objects. "You can't.."
"I have no choice, River." Willow says, not opening her eyes. "This is the only way."
"What's goin' on?" Mal asks.
"She's poisoning herself." River whispers.
"She's what?" Inara asks, moving to stand beside Mal.
"Poisoning herself." River repeats.
"Poisoning herself with what, mei-mei?" Simon asks.
"Magic." River replies.
"You're not telling me you believe…"
"She's a witch, Simon." River interrupts. "That's her big secret, most of it anyways."
"I still ain't gettin' this poisonin' thing, little witch." Mal says and then laughs humorlessly at his nickname for River.
"She had to absorb energy from the moon we were on." River explains. "That's how she was able to do all that magic and she always absorbs more than she actually needs and normally, she'd put it back but she can't. But the energy has to go somewhere, she can't leave it in her body, it's not safe. She won't risk putting it into the ship or out into the black or even into me, so she's recycling it through her body, turning it into a physical poison. And then she'll relieve herself of the poison."
"River, you do realize how absurd that sounds, don't you?" Book questions.
River just turns to look at Willow. "Captain, we need to move her out of here and to the bay; she's going to need room."
Mal looks to Simon. "She okay to move?"
"There's nothing physically wrong with her besides the physical changes." Simon replies. "Mei-mei, are you not feeling well?"
"I'm fine, Simon." River rolls her eyes. "Just trust me, okay?"
"I do." Simon replies.
"And bring some towels, a blanket and a glass of water." River adds as she follows Mal out of the infirmary.
"Is she really a witch?" Kaylee whispers to Willow, gesturing to Willow.
"Yes." River replies.
"Huh." Kaylee says, her face taking on a thoughtful look. "She don't ride a broom, does she?"
"No." River smiles at the mechanic, glad that she's not afraid of Willow.
"Alright, little witch, what am I doin' with her?" Mal questions.
River grabs the blanket Simon's holding and lays it on the bay floor. "Just set her down there."
Mal sets Willow down, stepping back to peer down at the re…black-haired girl. "Her hair gonna stay that way?"
"No." River replies. "All will be returned."
"Okay, so you're saying Willow is a witch." Wash says, moving to stand beside River, Zoe on his other side. "Now are we talking a black hat wearing, broom riding, black cat having, goat sacrificing witch?"
"I've never sacrificed any…."
"Fawn." River interrupts.
"Okay, a fawn." Willow pants out. "But that's….." Her sentence trails off with a long, painful groan as she falls backwards, her hands clenching at her sides.
"What's going on?" Mal asks.
"She's poisoned." River replies.
Willow's back arches and then her legs tuck up as she curls up into a ball, the occasional pain-filled moan leaving her mouth. After only a few moments, her entire body is covered in sweat.
"Simon, do something." Inara pleads.
"I don't…."
"He can't do anything." River interrupts her bother. "This is only stage one."
"How many stages are there?" Inara asks.
"Four." River replies. "And they get worse."
She continues this way for what seems like eternity but is actually only ten minutes at the most. She stops just as suddenly as she started and sits up, panting for breath.
"Willow." Inara says softly.
Her back arches again, so far back her head touches the bay floor. Then she starts to seizure, her entire body writhing painfully on the floor.
"Oh, god." Inara gasps, her hand covering her mouth.
Mal wraps an arm around Inara, pulling her against his side, his jaw clenched tightly. "How much longer?"
River leans back against Jayne's chest with a sigh. "Ten minutes, maybe a little less."
"Then she's done?" Wash asks anxiously, squeezing Zoe's hand for reassurance.
"With stage two." River replies.
Kaylee leans into Simon with a sob, her hand covering her mouth as they watch Willow seizure.
Mal clenches his free hand and grinds his teeth, never having felt so helpless in his entire life. She's stopped having seizures although her body does give the occasional aftershock shake, and is panting on her stomach. After a few moments, she turns over, two drops of blood running from her nose to hit her hand. She looks at them and then screams.
"Get it out of me." Willow screams, scratching at her hand. "Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!" She's pounding on her chest with her fists at this point, tears running down her face. "Goddess, please, somebody get it out of me."
Inara and Mal start to run to Willow when River holds out her hand to stop them.
"River, let us through." Mal orders through clenched teeth.
"You can't." River says sympathetically.
"Why's that?" Mal asks angrily.
River reaches into Jayne's front pocket and pulls out his lighter. She looks Mal in the eyes and then tosses it towards Willow; the lighter hits an invisible wall and bounces back into her waiting hand. "She put it up so we wouldn't be able to help her." River explains. "She doesn't want to hurt anybody."
"They're under my skin." Willow growls to herself. "Crawling, seeping inside, wanting to takeover. Get out, get out, right now, get out." She scratches at her arms, her nails cutting through the skin and leaving bloody trails.
"River." Inara whimpers.
"She's almost done." River replies, tears dripping down her face.
Willow continues to pound and scratch at herself for a few more minutes and when she finally stops, her arms, legs, and torso are covered in scratches and bruises.
"Stage four." River whispers.
Willow is sitting on her knees at this point, trying to pull oxygen into her lungs, when she gags.
"Is she gonna puke?" Mal asks.
"Eventually." River replies.
Willow gags again and drops forward onto her hands. Then she's dry heaving, over and over again, tears running down her face from the force of her heaves. It lasts longer than every other stage combined, her hair matted to her face and blood now running freely from both nostrils. And after thirty-five minutes of just gagging, she finally throws up. Her vomit hits the blanket, black, chucky, and smoking, almost looking as though it's alive. It seems as though she's puking herself completely inside out, blood eventually joining the black substances on the blanket. Her puking lasts for ten minutes until she falls sideways with a pant.
"Oh, goddess." Willow sits up with a groan, running her hand through her sweaty hair. "What color?"
"Red." River assures her. "Your hair is red, eyes green, and no more veins."
"Thank goodness." Willow replies. She looks around the bay and sees the water and towels in Simon's hands. "Here." She waves them over to herself, grabbing the water and gulping it down gratefully. She sets the glass down when she's done and starts wiping the blood off herself, wincing as she touches the cuts and bruises.
"Willow, why don't you come with me." Simon suggests. "I can apply something to those."
Willow stumbles to her feet and looks down at the pile of puke. "Gross." She waves her hand at it, mumbling under her breath, and it disappears. She removes the barrier she placed earlier and slowly walks towards Simon.
Mal grabs Willow and scoops her up, a pissed off expression on his face.
Willow leans her head on his shoulder, sighing when she feels Inara touch her back. "Am I in trouble?"
-
"I think I got them all." Simon says, applying salve to the last scratch. "You're going to be very sore for a while."
"I know the drill, Simon." Willow assures him. "And besides, a couple meditating sessions and I'll be good as new."
Mal grits his teeth, his eyes flashing with anger.
"And don't do that 'no meditating' thing." Willow says. "It keeps me centered."
"And she can grow her skin back." River adds.
Heads turn to look at her.
"She can." River says. "Right, Willow?"
"Yeah." Willow agrees. "If I focus the magic on skin growage, I'll get new skin."
"Magic?" Mal shouts.
"Yes, I magic is real." Willow replies. "And what I did before…"
"I get it's real, Willow." Mal interrupts angrily. "What I don't get is why you think you're gonna do it again."
"Because I am." Willow replies.
"After what just done happened, I don't think so." Mal shouts.
"If I don't…you don't want to know what will happen." Willow shouts back.
"What we just saw, whatever can happen ain't gonna be worse." Mal seethes.
"It will." Willow says stubbornly.
"How?" Mal bellows.
"I'll die." Willow yells back.
The infirmary goes quiet, Mal's face going paler. "Shu muh?"
"Huh?" Willow replies.
"He said, 'I beg your pardon'." River clarifies.
"Oh." Willow mutters. "I'll die, Mal; if I don't do magic I'll die…or worse."
"What's worse than diein'?" Jayne asks.
"Losing control." Willow replies quietly. "Letting the magic control me."
"Willow, I can't watch that again." Inara whispers. "I can't watch you go through…"
"It's not normally that bad." Willow interrupts. "I had nowhere else to release the energy inside myself so I had to turn it into something physical that I could then remove; magical poison was the easiest and fastest thing."
"You've gone through that before?" Mal questions through clenched teeth.
"Not that bad but yes, I've gone through that." Willow replies. "It was easier before because I was able to push some of the excess energy into Spike and Angel and only had to remove small amounts."
"She needs to eat." River comments, tilting her head to look at Willow. "And we both need to change."
Willow looks at River, surprised to see her still wearing her reaver-blood covered dress. "Why didn't you change?"
"I helped Kaylee fix the boat and then listened to Simon, Mal, and Jayne yell at me." River replies. "They were very angry and ordered us to never, never, under any circumstances even think about attempting to fight reavers ever, ever again."
"Why?" Willow asks.
Mal opens his mouth to yell at Willow when he realizes she's not being a smart ass or being her normal flighty self; she honestly doesn't get the danger. "Willow, reavers will rape, kill, and skin ya."
"Yeah, I kind of got that when the one humped my leg and bit my shoulder." Willow replies. "But shouldn't we try to kill them?"
"No, we run from reavers." Wash says heatedly. "We do not engage."
"Reavers ain't ones to be fightin', Willow." Zoe says evenly. "We run."
"Huh." Willow hops down from the sickbed with a thoughtful look on her face. "Only ever did the running thing once and it lead to cationic, knights, and kidnappings."
Mal groans. "How the ruttin' hell did you make it this far without dyin'?"
"I've come pretty darn close." Willow replies. "But always managed to come out with my head attached which is a good thing cause you don't want to have your head disattached…"
River grabs Willow's hand and tugs her towards the door, cutting off her babble. "We're going to change and then we'll meet you in the mess."
"But there was Lorne." Willow continues. "He without the head and…."
"Preacher, you've been almost completely quiet durin' this whole thing." Mal comments as they walk towards the mess. "You ain't plannin' to burn her at the stake cause I'd have to stop you."
"No, I'm not planning anything." Book replies. "I'm just thinking."
"That's good." Mal says, wrapping an arm around Inara's shoulders. "Cause she may be a witch, but she's our witch and ain't nobody gonna be cleansin' her."
-
"Whoa, I feel like I'm walking into the Spanish Inquisition." Willow whispers to River, coming to a stop at the doorway as everyone in the mess turns to look at them.
"Have a seat." Mal orders, gesturing to the two empty chairs, one between him and Inara and the other between Jayne and Simon.
"You're not going to burn me at the stake, are you?" Willow asks nervously. "Because been there, done that, and got the t-shirt to remember it by."
"Somebody burned you at the stake?" Inara asks.
"My mom." Willow replies. "And most of my hometown, it was a spell type thing; they mostly didn't know what they were doing."
Mal pushes a plate of food in front of the redhead. "Eat and then you've got some explainin' to do."
Willow picks up her fork and nervously puts some protein into her stomach. After twenty or so tiny bites, she pushes the plate away with a grimace. "Can't eat anymore."
Mal raises an eyebrow at the mostly full plate.
"You should eat more." Inara suggests.
"I'm fine." Willow assures her. "My stomach will just need a few days to settle is all."
"I gotta few questions you're gonna answer then you're goin' to bed, dong ma?" Mal says.
"I've been putting myself to bed for years now, Mal." Willow replies.
"Willow." Mal growls.
"Fine." Willow sits back with a pout. "Ask away."
"You done magic on my boat?"
"Yes." Willow replies.
"When and what?" Mal asks.
"Made that chocolate, altered some clothes, disguised that mule so you wouldn't hear us leave, and talked to River, that's about it." Willow replies.
"How is talking to River magic?" Simon asks.
'Hi.' Willow says telepathically to Simon, giggling when he jumps.
"Willow?"
'Yep, it's me.' Willow replies.
"Oh, great, doc's plum lost it too." Jayne mutters.
'Simon hasn't lost it.' Willow says.
Jayne looks around the room before settling his gaze on Willow, a huge grin covering his face. "That how River always knew when somebody was lookin' for her?"
"Yes." Willow replies.
"I like it." Jayne says. "Kinda neat."
"What?" Kaylee asks. "I don't get it."
'Okay, I'm just doing this to show everybody.' Willow says to everyone.
Wash stands up with a squeak and Kaylee's eyes widen before she giggles. Inara just raises an eyebrow.
"How does it work?" Book questions curiously. "Do we just talk back to you?"
"You can but you're going to be the one looking all insane." Willow replies. "You can just think whatever you want to say and I'll hear it."
"You hear everything we think?" Zoe asks.
"I could but I block it." Willow replies. "I block everything unless I start the talkage or if you think really loud at me and then I'll pick up."
"How far?" Mal questions curiously.
"Depends on how juiced up I am." Willow replies. "Right now, a couple of miles. Before, hundreds of miles."
"I'm confused." Simon says. "I thought you got rid of all the magic."
"I got rid of all the excess magic." Willow corrects. "My body naturally or actually, unnaturally produces magic so I always have some. It's normally enough unless something big happen then I have to juice up, borrow energy from things around me."
"You always been a witch?" Mal questions.
"I did my first spell when I was 16." Willow replies. "And for the next few years magic was more of a hobby than anything else. I used it when needed and then shelved it. Then I became addicted."
"To magic?" Simon asks in disbelief, still trying to come to terms with magic being real.
"Some spells, especially the darker ones feel…god they feel..it's indescribable, so much power and energy just flowing through your body; it's very addicting." Willow shakes her head, trying to get the glazed look out of her eyes. "After I started abusing magic, Tara left me. At first I just did more spells, even went to a black arts dealer, until I hit rock bottom. I stopped cold turkey. Then Warren killed Tara and I lost it. I sucked up every bit of magic I could find and then killed Warren."
"How?" Inara whispers.
"Flayed him." Willow replies evenly.
"What do you mean by flayed?" Wash asks.
"I magically ripped his skin off before dissolving the rest of him." Willow replies. "Then I hunted down the two guys he had helping him, killed my dealer, tried to hurt Dawnie, fought my Buffy, tortured and drained Giles."
"Of what?" Mal asks.
"There was a coven and they felt me, when I lost it." Willow replies. "On the other side of the planet, they felt me. They dosed Giles with the pure essence of magic and sent him to fight me. I drained him and it was, I could feel everything, every person, every thought, every pain, it was so overwhelming and so full of feeling that I wanted it to stop. So I tried to stop it all."
"How?" Mal asks though he doesn't really want to know the answer.
Willow moves her face up to look him in the eyes. "By ending the world."
The mess goes silent.
"You couldn't…" Simon whispers, mouth hanging open.
"Could and would have." Willow interrupts. "Almost did and if it weren't for Xander, I would have."
"He stopped you?" Mal asks.
"Yes." Willow replies, looking back down at her hands.
"How." Inara asks.
"By telling me he loved me." Willow replies with a small, sad smile. "That it wouldn't matter what I did, that even if I was ending the world, there's no place he'd want to go out than by my side and no matter what, he'd still love me."
"Love stopped you from ending the world?" Zoe asks disbelieving.
"The magic I took from Giles was the pure essence of magic." Willow explains. "The magic I was using came from power and grief…"
"And vengeance." River adds.
"And vengeance." Willow says. "Giles's magic tapped into the little piece of humanity left inside me, enabling Xander to stop me."
"Shouldn't you not be doing magic?" Simon asks. "If you've had that many problems with it, I would think it would be safer to stop."
"It's too much a part of me." Willow replies. "There's been morning where I've woken up because I could feel the fuel moving through the ship, feel the sparks of electricity and the engine turning; it's as much of part of me as my blood is."
"How're we supposed to trust that you won't loose it and flay all of us?" Zoe asks.
"She has control now." River tells the soldier. "She may slip a little and need help but she does control it now."
"It's askin' us to take a huge risk." Zoe comments. "Ain't that right, sir?"
"Yeah, it is." Mal agrees.
"I know." Willow says quietly.
"And just so you know, you ain't gettin' off this boat till I understand and approve it." Mal declares. "Cause I know there's some things you're still not tellin' me."
"Yes." Willow agrees.
"Till I know it all, you're not leavin' this boat less you're with me." Mal declares.
"Fine." Willow stands up and looks at him with hurtful eyes. "Am I allowed to go to my room…"
"Go." Mal interrupts.
Willow turns and leaves the mess without another word.
"You're lettin' her stay?" Zoe asks.
"Yes." Mal replies. "You got somethin' to stay on the subject."
"It may not be the smartest decision." Zoe comments. "Don't think she can be trusted."
"I'm not askin' you to trust her." Mal replies. "I'm askin' you to trust me. Can you do that?"
"Always have." Zoe says, standing up with nod. "That ain't bout to change now."
"That's good." Mal replies.
"Goodnight." Zoe says as she pulls Wash to her feet.
"I believe I'll also be turning in." Book says. "Goodnight."
"Night."
"Well, I got some more yellin' to do." Jayne says. "C'mon, moony, I ain't near done with tellin' you why you're not to fight reavers."
River rolls her eyes and allows Jayne to pull her to her feet. "But it was fun." River comments. "Maybe I'll start hunting them."
Jayne throws River over his shoulder and smacks her ass. "That ain't the least bit funny."
"Kaylee, would you like me to walk you to bed?" Simon asks, holding his arm out to her.
"Sure." Kaylee replies. "Gotta check on my girl first."
"Okay." Simon agrees, following Kaylee to the engine room.
"C'mon, Nara." Mal says.
Inara stands up gracefully and locks her arm through Mal's. Thinking he's walking her to her shuttle, she's a little shocked when they head to the passenger dorms instead.
"I don't want to talk to you right now." Willow says, wagging her finger at Mal.
"Got no need to talk." Mal grabs Willow's arm and tugs her out of her room, flipping the light off as they leave.
'Where are we going?' Willow telepathically asks Inara.
"I don't know." Inara replies out loud.
"Hey now, none of that head talkin' less I'm involved." Mal says.
"Where are we going?" Willow asks.
Mal ignores her and continues through the ship, a woman on each arm. He flips off lights as they go until they're standing in front of Inara's shuttle.
"You dragged me out of my room so we could walk Inara to her room?" Willow asks in disbelief.
"No." Mal replies, nudging Inara.
Inara opens her shuttle door, completely confused by Mal's plans.
Mal shuts the door and walks over to the bed. He takes off his holster and gun and places them on the table beside Inara's bed. "Nara's got the biggest bed."
Willow shrugs and pulls off the robe she had on, revealing the pink kitten short and tank pajamas under it.
Inara grabs one of her less revealing nightgowns and steps behind her changing screen to change into it.
Mal folds his clothes, leaving himself clad in only boxers and a t-shirt, and pulls down the covers of Inara's bed. He reaches over to grab Willow and tosses her on the bed. "Nara, you bout done in there?"
"Almost." Inara replies. "Why?"
"Cause I've gotta meeting scheduled with the dipshit twins and need my beauty sleep." Mal says.
"I thought Wash was rerouting us so that the trip would take longer than necessary." Inara comments.
"Yeah, guess he was gonna." Mal agrees. "Till River told him it weren't necessary cause Willow here done changed her mind bout leavin', long before I told her I was makin' her stay."
"That little squealer." Willow growls.
Inara walks over to the bed, a tasteful pajama pants set covering her body, and lies down on Willow's free side. "You weren't going to leave?"
"No." Willow replies. "Dawnie talked me out of it, something about letting fear run my life and not liking the outcome."
Mal buries his face in the back of Willow neck, his arms wrapping over her to tug Inara towards them until the companion's body is flush with Willow's. One leg moves to rest over their legs, pinning them to the bed.
Willow burrows back into Mal, pulling Inara with her. In the end, she can feel Mal's front pressed against every part of her back and Inara's front pressed against every part of her front. "It's a Willow sandwich."
Mal laughs. "Guess it is."
-