Disclaimer: I OWN NOTINK! Excuse me. Nothing.

Chapter 4

"Where are we?" Cattie Brie asked for the hundredth time.

"I don't know!" yelled Wulfgar. "Now shut up! Stop asking that!" He looked like he was about to cry, so Drizzt quickly changed the subject.

"You know, Regis accidentally dropped all our breakfast into the mud. That also wasn't garnish. It was grass." I'm really getting good at changing the subject!

Bruenor spun around quickly. "What?" he thundered enraged. "Actually, it wasn't half bad." They left it at that, and an awkward silence followed. It lasted quite a long time until Drizzt thought he heard something in the bushes.

"Who goes there?"

"No worries! It's just me!" Jarlaxle came out of the bushes. "I've been stalking you for some time now. You left me behind at the mountain. What is that placed called again?"

Everyone turned to stare at Bruenor. "What're ye lookin' at me fer? I dunno!"

"Daddy, it's your mountain."

"Wulfgar, I'll tell you one more time. STOP CALLING ME DADDY!"

Cattie Brie burst into giggles and Drizzt tried not to smirk, but Jarlaxle had different ideas.

"I'll train him for you!"

"I'm sorry?"

"You know! Make him stop calling you daddy! Here. I'll show you." Jarlaxle pulled out a spray can. "This is full of acid. Every time he calls you daddy, I'll spray him with it!"

"Daddy, please-AAAARGH!"

"It's working already. Now you'll think twice about saying that won't you?"

Wulfgar miserably nodded his head.

"Good."

"Do I have to pay ye anything?"

"Well," In response Jarlaxle held out his hand. Bruenor grumbled and handed him some of his coins. "Very good. Anything else need work on?"

"Well, don't tell Regis this, but, if ye could spray him every time he drops the food, that'd be great."

"No problem. It'll be our little secret."

"I'm right here. I heard it all."

Bruenor cleared his throat. "Regis, isn't it about time for lunch?"

"Ah! Good point!" Regis quickly forgot all that he had heard as he starting preparing everyone's lunch. He made some biscuits very quickly and served them without dropping anything. Jarlaxle looked disappointed and Bruenor quickly tripped Regis making him drop his own lunch. "Oh, darn it."

Jarlaxle quickly ate his biscuit and then pulled out his acid spray can. "You really must learn Regis, nobody likes dirty food!" And with that he sprayed the acid but it got into Regis' eyes. "Um…that really is quite fatal. Someone better call the paramedics."

The paramedics came and took Regis away, but dropped him in the mud on their way back.

Once again, Drizzt heard something in the bushes. "Yes? Who is it?" His question was answered with a snarl as a worg jumped out from the bushes knocking Drizzt down and starting attacking him. "What in the Nine Hells? GET IT OFF ME!" But nobody came to Drizzt's aid so he had to strangle the worg with his cloak. "Well, thank you. So very much." Drizzt said sarcastically. "Thanks to all you people I am now missing a big chunk from my arm." With that, he fainted.

"I don't think anyone needs to call the paramedics. Drizzt is strong! He'll live." Cattie Brie pointed out.

"What if he gets eaten by wild dogs like Entreri?" Another good point.

"It doesn't matter." Yet another good point!

"Of course it matters! Here, Jarlaxle, help make a stretcher from the fire wood."

"It's still burning; it might be too hot…"

"He's strong isn't he?"

"Yes, alright." In no time, they had a stretcher for Drizzt and even though his shirt caught fire a couple times, they managed to wander around longer. Drizzt woke up feeling perfectly fine after a while, and together they found the nearest town, Luskan.