I put the camera down. "Hi, Meg. How's it going?"

"Fairly well." A deep breath. "I wanted to ask you a favor."

"Anytime. What?"

"Well, remember when I said I wanted to be you when I grew up?"

What could she want? "Yes –" My passenger door opened. I turned, saw Ben there with a gun in his belt, and was so startled I dropped the phone.

"Let's go for a ride," he said.

Level of frightening is now above red. What's above red? Infra-red?

Ben gave me directions. Along the way – hoping like hell Meg was still listening in – I managed to get Ben to admit we were going to the Camelot.

When we got there, he began hustling me up the stairs. I frantically tried to come up with a way out and couldn't think of anything. We got to the top. Ben said, "I know you think you're being a hero, but a lot of people might die because of you."

"Let's just hope I'm not one of them," I said.

"You won't be," he said, unlocking the door and pushing me in ahead of him.

Meg sat on the bed in a bra and panties.

As Ben gaped for a second, I yanked myself free and pulled the gun from his waistband. I checked; the safety was off and the thing was, in fact, loaded. I'm not an expert or anything but Dad insisted I at least know the rudiments on the off chance I ever needed to. Smart man. I think tonight I was going to bake him cookies. "Don't move," I said. "Hi, Meg."

"Hi, Veronica," she said, quickly dressing.

"How did you get in here?" Ben asked.

"Excuse me," I said. "I believe I'm the one with the gun." I turned to Meg. "Tell me later."

"Okay. I also called the cops."

Ben said, "Oh, terrific. Just what I didn't need."

"Sorry to spoil your carefully laid plans of violence and destruction," I said sardonically.

"That's not it. Look. I have my wallet in my hand here."

"You think you're going to pay us to look the other way while you blow up the school?"

He sighed. "Just look at it."

"Throw it to her." He did.

Meg flipped it open and said, "Oh, crap."

"Oh, crap?" Meg turned the wallet around. I snuck a glance over and saw the badge inside. "He's a federal agent."

"ATF. Can I move now?"

He took my silence as an answer, and walked towards me. "And my gun?"

I handed it to him. "We need to talk," he said.

"Is this the way you get everyone to talk to me?" I asked. "At gunpoint? You must be the hit of the ATF Christmas party."

"I told you you didn't know what you were getting yourself into." After a second. "Alone?"

"Not hardly," Meg said.

"I think I'll be safe," I said. "Why don't you go outside and keep an eye out for the Sheriff?"

"Leave the door open."

"My exact thoughts."

Meg left and Ben and I talked for maybe three minutes about why he thought Norris was a Columbine waiting to happen. When he mentioned that Norris had a crush on me, I was a bit wigged out – though it would certainly explain why he stopped those spitballers so long ago – but said, "That may be a problem. It's not exactly a secret that I'm dating Logan Echolls."

"So? It's not like I'm asking you to actually date him. Just use this and you've got yourself an in. If you need anything else, try talking about his ancient weapon collection."

I said I'd try, and left. Ben may have been an ATF agent and technically on the side of the good guys, but I didn't like him and I didn't trust him, and I tended to go with my instincts at times like these.

Still, while Ben was an asshole, this still didn't mean Norris might not be planning something.

Meg was standing outside the hotel room. "Thank you," I said, and gave her a big hug. "I can't believe you stripped to save me."

"I thought he was going to kill you, Veronica," Meg said. "I'd've danced naked in the middle of the gym to stop that."

"How did you get here?"

"I looked around and didn't see any of our other friends. So I flagged down Casey Gant and begged him."

"And he couldn't resist those big brown eyes?"

"I am pretty irresistible," she said. Which sounds like a Lilly line, but Meg added a glint of self-deprecating humor that made it clear she didn't believe a word she was saying. Lilly would have not only believed it, she would have convinced you. She sighed. "Not irresistible enough to get him to stick around afterwards, unfortunately. Can I get a ride?"

"After what you did today, you can get a ride to Cleveland if you want." We started walking down to the car.

"What's in Cleveland?"

"Um . . . Drew Carey?"

"Pass."

We both laughed.

As we got in the LeBaron, I asked, "How did you get in the room?"

"Why, Mr. Desk Clerk, I just dropped by to surprise my boyfriend," she said in a blonde bimbo voice, eyelashes fluttering. "Could you, um, let me in? I want to be there waiting for him . . . ready. If you know what I mean."

"How long were you waiting?"

"About two minutes. Just long enough to get really nervous."

I grinned as we pulled out of the Camelot parking lot. Lamb and Company had yet to put in an appearance. "I don't see what you have to be nervous about. I couldn't have done it any better. Speaking of which . . ."

"Yes?"

"You were saying something about wanting to be me before I was so rudely kidnapped?"

"Yeah, um . . . I want you to train me in what you do."

"You want to learn how to annoy my father, ask Wallace for favors and say snarky things to Logan?"

"I want you tell me how to be a detective."

I looked at her. "You're serious."

"I'm serious."

"So I train you and then next year everyone's coming to you for their problems and then what am I supposed to do for money?"

She laughed. "No. I need to learn . . . for reasons of my own."

"What reasons are those?"

"I'd rather not tell you. But I need to learn how to bug, and how to keep things hidden from people who are really, really determined to find out all your secrets. Hidden cameras, all of that. Please?"

"Are these people your parents?"

She closed her eyes. "Please don't ask. This is something I need to do myself."

"I'm your friend, Meg. If you're having parent trouble I'll help you any way I can."

"So you'll teach me?"

What the hell. "I'll teach you."

"Thanks, Ronniekins!" She hugged me as best she could considering I was driving at the time.

I had come far in the world.

I now had my own disciple.

My first order of business: Get her to knock off the "Ronniekins" gag.

X X X X X

I warned Meg not to tell anyone about what had happened -- I wasn't going to blow Ben's cover no matter how big a jackass I thought he was -- and then promptly told Logan.

"Will you be too terribly disappointed if I 'accidentally' trip Ben tomorrow?"

"Just don't 'accidentally' duct tape him to the flagpole."

"No way. I don't want Weevil hunting me down for trademark infringement." After a second: "Anyway, Machiavelli, any idea why Meg wants to become your mini-me?"

"Have you checked our respective sizes? I think she's 'maxi-me."

Logan laughed. "Point taken."

"And then there's what our unfriendly neighborhood ATF agent actually wants me to do."

"Yeah. Cozy up to the next Dylan Klebold. Can't say I'm fond of the idea."

"It's not on the top of my list of 'things to do before I'm 30,' either, but what're you going to do?"

"Come with you."

I laughed. "Thanks, Logan, but 'cozying up' to a scary guy with a crush on you is harder if your boyfriend's in the room."

"I'll remember that if I'm ever sent to prison."

After a second I asked, "So. Trina still there?"

"And has no plans of leaving anytime soon. I think she'll work through her sulk sometime before the next solar eclipse."

"Well, even without Lynn, I would have thought the script being in production would have kind of cheered her up."

"Yeah, well . . . turns out that, as with so much else in my darling sister's life, that was just a wee bit exaggerated."

"No guaranteed TV movie?"

"Yeah. And she picked Harry Hamlin straight off the IMDB." A pause.

"Poor Trina."

He sounded offended. "Poor Trina? She's staying here for free, eating for free, and working on her script for free. She actually asked me for help. When she said, 'but how little abuse could we put in there and still make sure Dad looks good?' I got up and left the room."

"That's what I meant. Poor, poor, terribly clueless Trina."

"That I can get behind."

I also dropped by Mac's to pick up my computer, and not only paid her her going rate but gave her a tip.

"What's the extra $10 for, Veronica?"

"To make sure you don't think I take you for granted."

"You don't need to feed my ego," she said. "But extra cash is always welcome."

"Good. Also, how long do you plan to keep beating Logan?"

"Until he finds a game he's actually better than me at."

"So, forever?"

"Pretty much."

X X X X X

So here's how the rest of the Norris Clayton saga went.

I got myself the invite to his house. He showed me his weapons -- quite an impressive collection, actually -- and then he invited me to an Akira Kurosawa retrospective for the weekend. "Just because we both seem to like his work," he said. "I'm not horning in on Logan or anything." His tone clearly still indicated a massive crush. I was noncommital and left.

Why would he ask me to go to a movie festival on the weekend if he was planning armageddon for tomorrow?

He wouldn't. He was being set up. And seeing computer whiz Pete Kamiski -- who, it turned out had been bullied by Norris for years -- enter the house next door clinched who. (He'd set up the killemall website.)

Partially. The next morning Norris was arrested by the ATF and was caught with fertilizer and a high-powered rife. Fortunately for Norris, I had photos of Ben buying it, and Ms. Stafford convined Duncan and me to run with the story in the next Navigator.

Clemmons was angry, but Norris got out and Ben got in a lot of trouble. When Clemmons tried to pin all the blame on Ms. Stafford, Duncan said, "No, it's my fault, Mr. Clemmons. I showed her a dummy headline and story. She didn't know anything about it." I went along with the story.

Ms. Stafford said, "No, I knew about it all along. I can't let them lie for me."

Clemmons looked from me to Duncan to Ms. Stafford and back again. Then he said, "You, you, you're both suspended from the paper for one week. Ms. Stafford -- try not to be so naive in the future." And he dismissed us all.

She looked at Duncan and me as we walked down the hall. "You didn't have to do that, guys."

"Of course we did," I said. "You would have been fired otherwise and Duncan and I both agree you're worth keeping."

"Right," Duncan said. "What you did took guts. We would've let you down if we'd let you throw yourself into the line of fire on our behalf."

She smiled. "Thanks, guys. We'll try to struggle along without you while you're gone."

"And it will be a struggle," I said.

X X X X X

That night, Meg dropped by, allegedly to study English but actually to get her first lesson in being a detective.

"Okay," I said. "The first thing you need to know is, what works for me might not work for you, and vice versa. Take what I say as general guidelines, not hard-and-fast rules. Develop your own techniques. Remember, people want to believe you. You're an excellent natural liar. Go with your strengths. Second . . ."