Persephone- Eavesdown Docks
"Gee, Mal, we keep landin' here, we might as well buy some real estate and set some roots down."
"Wash, this ain't a vacation. Kaylee, find us some fares. You know the drill, them as can pay."
"You got it, Cap'n Tightpants," Kaylee quipped.
"Wash, get Simon and River in the Mule and get some supplies. Just remember, we ain't got a charge account." Mal looked more and more nervous every time he gave that girl more responsibility. He'd heard the accounts of the legendary Reaver battle. He even saw the aftermath. Whenever he thought about what River was capable of, it scared the go se out of him. Still, she sure could haggle. After the last caper, they needed all the discounts they could get.
"Jayne, Zoe, form up. We got us some beagles to herd."
-----
The parts shop looked exactly like every other building in Eavesdown: a ramshackle conglomeration of containers, canvas, pieces of ships long since destroyed, billboards for companies that went out of business years ago, and every now and then a piece of masonry that looked like it may have once been a part of a building. Simon stepped up to the proprietor.
"I would like to, um, purchase some, ah, engine parts…" Simon held out a hand, which Wash filled with a list of mechanical contraptions, which were absolutely necessary for a Firefly to fly. Simon gave the list to the proprietor, who looked at the list and punched some numbers into the counter.
"That'll be 150,000 platinum, bottom line."
"No it won't." River, who had largely gone unnoticed, stepped out of the shadows, and walked confidently up to the man.
"You callin' me a liar?"
"Yes. The coupler's faulty, the catalizer's got a minor malfunction (nothing that can't be fixed with the right tools, which you don't have), the rear drive cam has rust on it… Do you want me to go on?"
"Okay, okay, maybe I did lie a little… Tell you what, how 'bout we call it 50,000?"
"How 'bout not? Do you know the punishment for selling stolen parts?" He nodded. "What about the punishment for selling parts that may, in all probability, result in the destruction of the ship you're selling to?" Another nod, this one more fearful. "You're going to give us the best you've got, for 5,000. That's the bottom line." River didn't bother to look at his reaction, she just started walking toward the door. When she reached it, she looked over her shoulder. "What are you waiting for? Pay the man and load up!"
Once outside, Wash boarded the Mule, then looked over at Simon. "You know, no matter how many times she does that, it still amazes me. Well, next stop, meds. You up for that, River?"
River gave him a wry smile, and then jumped, with all the grace of a gazelle, onto the Mule. "Who do you think I am, you?"
-----
"You see, they're all pedigree show dogs—" Mal was cut off by his comm buzzing.
"Cap'n, there's a problem…" Kaylee sounded even more jittery than usual.
"Kaylee, I can't have you callin' me over nothin', especially when I have a bunch of ruttin' dogs with delusions of grandeur tryin' to hump my leg. Now what in the 'verse could make you call me in the middle of a deal?"
"Forget the damn beagles and get the hell over here, now! We've got a situation!"
"What the hell can be more important than gettin' paid?" Mal heard scuffling on the other line, then a voice that chilled him to the depths of his soul.
"Captain Reynolds, I would like to speak with you about passage to Haven."
"Tamade… You hurt Kaylee, I'll see to it that you wish you were never born!"
"Now, captain, if I wanted to hurt her, why would I ask for safe passage? You surely don't think she's a hostage, do you? Because I can assure you, she's not being held captive. I'm not even armed."
"I've heard that one before. Kaylee, if you can hear me-"
"Right here, cap'n."
"Oh… Right… Well, anyways, keep that bastard off my ship. I'll be there soon."
Mal looked at Jayne and Zoe. They both already had their guns at the ready.
-----
"I thought I told you that the next time I saw you, you'd get shot." Mal was puzzled. The Believer had shown up, managed to get the comm from Kaylee, gave it back, then just stood outside the ship, not even bothering to enter yet. Bad tactics from a superior tactician. What the hell was going on here?
"Yes, well, I was afraid you'd say that. I'm not even wearing body armor this time. Also, I sold the sword and resigned my post in the Alliance, though not before I managed to get the warrants for the Tams cleared. All I want is a ride to Haven, and maybe a side of forgiveness." His accent always managed to annoy Mal.
"What makes you think I'd accept you?"
"You accepted my mentor."
Mal exchanged looks all around. Everyone else wore the same puzzled expression.
"Mentor?"
"Darriel Book. He never told you about his life before ordination, did he? He was quite a brilliant operative. Then, like me, he lost the faith. I was actually quite crestfallen when I ordered the attack on Haven. He was a good man."
"Don't talk to me about Book…"
"You mean to say you aren't the least bit curious about his past, captain?"
"Well, yeah, but how do I know you can be trusted?" Despite himself, Mal was beginning to believe him.
"I haven't attacked you, Kaylee here, any other members of your crew, or your ship; I'm laden with luggage; I'm unarmed; there are no Alliance patrols closing in on this location; and, to top it all off, I'm now a Shepherd."
Throughout his explanation, Mal was looking pensive. That last little tidbit of information took him completely by surprise, though.
"Wait, wait, wait. Could you repeat that? A Shepherd!"
"I thought the outfit gave it away." He was dressed in almost the exact outfit they had grown familiar with, on Book. "At any rate, you can query Southdown Abbey if you want; they should have complete records of my ordination." Mal nodded at Zoe, who promptly went inside the ship to get on the Cortex.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait on that, then." Both men stood in silence, facing each other, for a couple of minutes, Jayne standing off to the side, shifting his weight and fingering his gun. In the meanwhile, several possible passengers, walking by, glanced warily at the scene playing out in front of Serenity, then proceeded, just as warily, to move to the other side of the crowded street. After a couple of minutes, Mal heard the Mule approaching.
"Mal, we got the… What in the name of all that's holy is HE doing here!"
"Wash, calm down. We've got it under control." Zoe chose just that moment to make her entrance. "Sir, his story checks out. Southdown says he's quite the quick study. They were surprised he wasn't already a preacher. The last student they had who was that spiritual was—"
"Don't tell me, Book."
"Yes, sir."
Mal looked over at River, who had arrived with Wash and Simon. She gave him and almost imperceptible nod.
"Looks like we don't have much of a choice. Welcome aboard, Shepherd. Wash, Simon, get that stuff unloaded. We don't have much time before takeoff. Kaylee, do we have any other takers?"
"No, Cap'n." Kaylee, who had dutifully kept the doors shut for all but Zoe, still looked a little shaken.
"Well, can't be helped. All aboard, and all that." Mal entered his ship, leaving a mostly bewildered crew behind.
"Honey, what the hell's going on?"
"I'll tell you about it later, Wash."
-----
"This is the dining room…" Mal was going through his usual spiel with new passengers, when he suddenly realized he didn't know the Believer's real name.
"I just realized I don't know your real name."
The believer looked surprised for once. "Toam. Those who know me call me Toam, though my first name is Jairus."
"Are preachers just not much for first names, or is this just a personal mentor/mentee thing?" Zoe shot Wash a glare. "What? It's a reasonable question."
"I think it's just a personal thing, Honey, and we should mind our own business."
"Oww!" Wash grabbed his injured shin where Zoe had kicked it.
"No offense taken. For your information, in our order, we take a name upon ordination."
"Oh, I get it… What happens to the old one?"
"Jayne, could you possibly get dumber?" Wash was well away from Zoe's feet this time.
"Probably, given time. Mal, what is he doing here?" Inara, with her usual grace, glided into the room. "Didn't he try to kill us?"
"Is that a trend, because he did the same thing with Saffron," Wash said.
"Wasn't her name Bridget?"
"I thought it was Yolanda."
"Great, I decide to show a little good will, and suddenly I have a mutiny on my hands. Shepherd Toam here is our fare for this run. Speaking of, we haven't discussed payment yet."
"If you will let me unload my cargo, I have some items which should take care of that."
-----
The crew looked like little kids at Christmas, if those little kids happened to suspect that Santa handed them bombs. The only exception was River, who tore the paper off of her package with utter abandon.
"Slippers!"
"Yes, I remembered that you like to dance."
River's face glowed with delight as she tried on the expensive-looking, beribboned ballet shoes.
"They fit perfectly! Thank you, Toam!" To everyone's mutual surprise, especially Toam's, she gave him a big hug, and planted a swift kiss on his cheek.
That was all the persuasion Simon needed. If his reader sister trusted this man, that was good enough for him. He opened his package slightly less rapidly than River, but was almost as delighted at its contents. "Osirian Red and White wines, a very good year."
"I thought you might like something reminiscent of your old home, Simon."
"Toam, I can't accept this… These bottles cost-"
"It is a gift, Simon. Accept it with due grace."
"Thank you, Toam."
One by one, the crew opened their presents, each one just as suited to the receiver as the last. To Inara, three jars of incense—a year's supply, even for her. To Kaylee, a teddy bear and strawberries. To Wash, ten equally gaudy flower-print shirts (which evoked a groan from the rest of the crew). To Zoe, a set of bath soaps. Ironically enough, Jayne's was the most expensive, and biggest, present of them all. When Jayne saw it, he let out a whoop of joy, clapped his hands, and said, "Vera's gonna get so jealous."
It was a very large, very frightening, very powerful gun.
"Mal, you are last. Is this because you do not trust me, or because you are afraid Jayne will work up the courage to mutinee with his new weapon?"
"Well, I suppose it's 'cause I don't really get presents often." Without a better excuse, Mal resigned himself to opening his gift.
"Where in the 'verse did you scrounge this from?"
"I'd imagine the same pawn shop you sold it to."
"It's been five years—"
"I suppose religion has been in short supply these last five years."
Mal was holding the last item he ever expected to see. After Serenity Valley, he didn't think he had much use for it.
Mal was holding a chain. On the end of the chain hung a very simple pendant, which he had prayed over and kissed before every mission. On the end of the chain hung a cross.
-----
"Can't sleep, Captain?"
Mal jumped, his reverie shattered by the inquisitive preacher.
"Don't do that! It's hard enough to get used to not having to shoot you without you sneakin' up behind me!"
"Sneak? I? Never! I merely stomped up to you with all the stealth of a gut-shot Reaver."
"Well, I suppose I was a bit distracted."
"Something you need to talk about?"
"Not really. Just couldn't sleep, is all."
They stood on the bridge, staring into the black for a couple of minutes before Toam spoke up.
"You still don't trust me, do you?" When Mal opened his mouth to speak, the preacher silenced him with a wave of his hand. "I can't say I blame you. I've done some terrible things to you and yours. I don't ask for your forgiveness, nor do I expect it. I just wish for a nice place to belong for a little while before I reach Haven."
"Why is it you wanna go to Haven, preacher?"
"I wish to at least try to make amends for what I've done. Haven seems as good a place as any to start."
"Why did you give me this?" Since Toam's brief stint as Santa, two days earlier, Mal hadn't taken the chain off.
"We all need something to believe in, don't we?"
There was another long minute of silence before Mal spoke up. "Before the war, I was about as good a Christian as I could be. I listened to the preacher. I did good deeds. My faith was even what got me in the army in the first place. After Serenity Valley… I didn't know why God had killed all those boys. I couldn't figure out why He'd let them just die like that, without warning, without dignity… I wondered what kind of a God would let that happen. I stopped believing. I sold the cross 'cause I couldn't bear to have the damn thing 'round my neck any longer. It kept glarin' at me, like it blamed me for their pointless deaths. Then, I thought, 'It wasn't God killed 'em, it was the Alliance.' So I got me a ship, thought I'd fly off into the black, be my own law… I thought the Alliance would never find me there. I was a naïve little punk, with no respect for anyone. Now, I'm talkin' with an ex-Alliance preacher. Still don't feel very religious, though."
"Sometimes, neither do I. One thing's for sure, though, Captain. You still believe in something. Otherwise, you wouldn't be flying after all of these years. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so protective of your crew. Otherwise, you wouldn't have housetrained Jayne. The trial isn't in finding out whether or not you believe. It's in finding out in what you believe. That is why you can't sleep. That is why you accepted me on your ship. And that is why you are currently fingering that cross as though you can't believe it's real."
Mal looked at him thoughtfully. "What do you think God thinks of a man like me?"
"The Bible says that all who truly seek forgiveness for their sins receive it. I hope that includes mine, and I pray that it includes yours."
"You didn't answer my question, Preacher."
"No, I didn't. Good night, Captain."
-----
"What do you think River's doing now?"
"Simon, now's not the time to bring her up. I'm trying to be sexy." After Simon declared his love for her, Kaylee had invited him to sleep in her room. It was only a matter of days until his luggage was moved in as well.
"I'm just saying she's taken a liking to our guest. I hope nothing bad happens."
"Simon, she took down Jayne with her bare hands, took out an entire army of Reavers, and to top it all off, she's a reader. I think she can handle herself. Now, let me be sexy." Simon saw her reach for the box of strawberries, and then decided maybe it was in his best interests to comply.
-----
"You do know it is not generally considered polite to eavesdrop, young lady." The Shepherd had discovered River. She was seated in the main hallway, her back propped up against Kaylee's closed hatch. "Especially when the people you're listening to are your brother and his girlfriend."
"Wants to pop the question, but doesn't know how. When humans are nervous, fluid is excreted through millions of glands in their skin. Glands within several tissues secrete hormones, which cause a feeling that the above said skin is crawling. If Simon is nervous too much, he might want to make sure he drinks lots of water with electrolytes. I'll make him some tea." River jumped up, then skipped merrily all the way to the mess.
"I thought she was better," Zoe said, emerging from a side hall.
"I think she just enjoys unnerving us." Toam looked after her, thoughtfully. "At any rate, we won't know until we ask, and the only people to ask are her and her indisposed brother."
-----
"I'm not sure how to say this…" Simon and Kaylee were laying on her bed, the sheets pulled up to their chins.
"Then just say it. Don't get all stiff like that."
"I want us to be together. Forever."
Kaylee propped herself up on one elbow. "Simon Tam, are you Proposin'?" She somehow managed to pronounce the capital letter.
"I suppose I should be on one knee, holding a little velvet-covered box with a diamond the size of an Alliance cruiser in it, but as I don't have a diamond the size of an Alliance cruiser, I had to settle on the next-best thing." With these words, Simon slid out of bed, walked to his med kit, and pulled out a little velvet-covered box. He then walked over to Kaylee's side of the bed, knelt down on one knee, and proffered it to her, holding the little box in both hands, in the cliché, yet effective, gesture of proposal. She stared, mouth agape, for a few seconds, then recovered her wits enough to take it from his hands, open it, then gasped and flung her arms about his neck.
"I take it that's a 'yes?'"
-----
"Preacher, may we have a word with you?" Simon asked, a few hours afterward.
"Alright." Toam followed Simon and Kaylee into the engine room.
"Well, you see… It's just that…."
"Simon and I are gettin' hitched!" Kaylee blurted.
"And you want me to perform the ceremony?"
"Well, yes, if you could."
"I'll see what I can do. Have you told the captain?"
"No, you're the first to know."
"Well, I feel honored. I wonder..."
"What?" Simon was puzzled as to what could cause Toam to react this way.
"Oh, nothing, just something River said earlier today. I'd be delighted to perform the ceremony."
-----
"Thank you, Abbot. I'll see if I can find more on that loophole." The preacher turned off Inara's connection to the Cortex, and then looked toward the open hatch. "I thought Inara's worry about eavesdroppers was unfounded, Captain."
"Well, most of the time it is. I was just wonderin' what could bring a Shepherd to enter a Companion's shuttle."
"I assure you, that particular thought never entered my head."
"So, when was I goin' to know about this engagement?"
"Probably when Simon and Kaylee told you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do."
Mal blocked his way. "Right, loophole. Well, maybe this time my crew won't elope, 'cause that was the loophole last time."
"I don't think you have anything to worry about with these two. Who knows, Simon may even ask you to be the best man."
"Yeah, 'cause that'd be a really great treat. Who would I have to marry after that?"
"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Mal." Inara, as if on cue, entered, followed closely by Kaylee. "Did you get the answer you were looking for, Toam?"
"Not exactly. He did, however, tell me of an interesting old tradition. I'll discuss it with the crew when I know more about it. Now, I really must be going. I have to look in on it."
"So, I take it the cat's out o' the bag?"
"Yeah, Kaylee, you might say that. When were you goin' to tell me 'bout this?"
"Well, he only asked me this mornin'. We were gonna tell you at dinner."
"Right, so who else knows?"
"You, 'Nara, the Shepherd, Simon an' I. Maybe River, though we haven't told her yet."
"So basically, everyone 'cept Wash, Zoe, and Jayne."
"Yeah."
"Well, we can't be havin' that." Mal walked over to the ship's intercom. "Hey, everybody, Simon and Kaylee're getting' hitched. Here's a quick word from the bride-to-be."
"Mal, I don't—no!" The crew in several other rooms heard scuffling, then Kaylee's voice came on clearer. "Hey, everybody. It's true. Simon an' I're gettin' hitched."
Kaylee's face burned red as she switched off the intercom.
"Was that really necessary, Captain?" Toam entered the compartment, which seemed to get smaller with every new addition.
"No, but it was fun. Any news on that loophole?"
"Yes, actually. The abbot of Southdown told me that since we are in deep space, I don't actually have the authority to marry anyone." The Shepherd held up a hand to forestall Kaylee's comment. "He did, however, tell me of an ancient practice. Apparently, back on Earththatwas, there was a convention that when a seagoing vessel was out in the middle of the ocean, far from any sovereign nations, the only person on the ship with enough authority to perform weddings and funerals was the Captain." Mal's jaw dropped. "I just went to see if that convention was still honored, and lo and behold, it is. Congratulations, Captain, you are an honorary Shepherd."
"Huh."
-----
"What's this I hear 'bout a marriage?"
"It's true, Jayne. I proposed to Kaylee this morning."
"Where the hell you gonna have the ceremony?"
"I don't really know. Shepherd Toam said he'd look into it. It's still much in the planning stages."
"Oh, well, that's nice—" Jayne was interrupted by Mal's voice on the intercom.
"Everybody come to the hold. I wanna get this marriage thing over with ASAP."
"Plannin' stages?"
"Well, last I checked. Something must have happened to change his mind."
-----
"…so that's the situation. Turns out I'm the only one who can do this, so let's get it over with. Who's best man?"
"Well, I haven't really decided yet—"
"Ooh, ooh, pick me!" Wash was jumping up and down with excitement.
"I guess that's decided. Maid of Honor?" Mal looked at Kaylee expectantly.
"'Nara, would you mind?"
"I'd be delighted."
"Alright. Does someone have the ring?"
"Hold on, I'll go get it." Simon started to turn.
"Hey, wait, isn't that my job? I am best man, and all. Just tell me where it is."
"Infirmary 'fridge." Simon looked at all the puzzled looks around him. "It was the only place I knew no one would look."
"Right." Wash ran off, with the gleeful abandon of a schoolboy at recess.
"Well, let's get some of this bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo out of the way. Shepherd, the papers." Toam handed the bride and groom some papers.
"What are these?" Simon asked.
"Documents requiring your signatures. Marriage certificates; a name change form in case Kaylee wants to take your last name—"
"Which I do."
"—blood tests, which I'm sure you know about, Doctor; basically a lot of legalistic red tape."
"Can't all that wait until after the marriage?"
"Well, some of it can, and some can't. We'll just pretend the marriage happened after it was all filled out, as Wash is back."
Indeed, Wash was, with a slightly frozen velvet box in hand. "It wasn't in the 'fridge, Simon. I found it in the freezer."
"Can you open the box?"
"I don't know, Mal. I decided to let the groom give it a try first."
Try as he might, Simon could not pry it open.
"Give it here," Jayne grunted, "I'll get the damn thing open." Jayne tried with all his might, but couldn't open the box.
After a few minutes of watching Jayne struggle, River stepped forward, took the box from Jayne, put it to her ear, said a couple of words under her breath, then deftly opened the box so fast that no one could see just how she did it, and held it out to Wash.
A few seconds of stunned silence later, Wash took it, looked at Mal, and said, "I have the ring."
"Okay, let's start. Simon, do you take Kaylee as your wife? To have and to hold, and all that?"
"I do."
"Kaylee, same question."
"I do."
"The ring?" Wash handed the ring to Simon, who placed it on Kaylee's finger.
"Right, by the power vested in me by me, as Captain, I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride."
The crew applauded as the two kissed, with only minimal catcalling from Wash and Jayne.
When the cheering had died down ("Don't kiss the chaplain—kisses make him sleepy!"), Mal held the paperwork out to Simon.
"I get even the slightest inkling you ain't treatin' her right, I will not hesitate to shred these. Now, didn't the Preacher give you some mighty expensive wine?"