Warning: You probably should know this from the first chapter but I'll put it once again: this story will contain characters not acting like themselves, like a bunch of evil twins all in one place, Relena bashing, general oddness, and shounen-ai eventually because who seriously thinks Duo's straight?
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing so I definitely cannot take ownership to any individual character, idea, mobile suit, death glare, drama, colony, misguided pacifistic tendency, suicidal mission, opinion, mid-90's fashion statement, one-liner, or any other intangible thing that I could possibly take from the show. I think that it's understood that no one claims ownership to things like this because who wants to get sued for taking someone else's creative property? I can just imagine the one guy who was really counting on being considered the all-powerful creator of Harry Potter. Really now, it's actually a mark of how sad we are that we go to all the trouble of writing something like fanfiction. When you think about it there's only so much that you can do with a story like this since the characters and their world aren't yours to begin with. It also makes people nervous because who knows what this crazy writer is going to do with the characters they love oh-so-much? Well, this gets longer and longer so you should probably just go down to the actual text now. Come on, go ahead. The writing may be mediocre and rife with grammatical anomalies but at least it's better then this. As a matter of fact you could have just stopped once you saw the words "I don't own Gundam Wing". Hey, I said it again so I guess I double don't own it. Still here? Nothing much more to say. Look at the next line. That's it! Enjoy the insanity.
Parabola of Mystery
Chapter Two
Quatre managed to convince the two pilots that they would be wasting their lives by blowing themselves up and that they could always just usher Relena off as soon as she arrived. This brought some hope to their otherwise terrible lives, or at least enough so that Quatre could get Trowa to dismantle the bomb. After it ended, Heero and Duo were left with a sort of empty feeling inside. Heero went right back to typing, in his room, in the closet, with three locks and another bomb on the door while Duo just retired to his Gundam. He at least had the knowledge that if Relena were coming then she would simply gloss over him. While she stalked the group it was only to get to Heero. She probably couldn't remember all of their names. Duo imagined that her only references to them were 'braided one who shot Heero', 'Tall, quiet one who rescued Heero', 'blonde one who brings Heero to a set location, and 'Chinese one who didn't have much to do with Heero'. Thus it was good to be braided-one who shot Heero.
As for the rest of the unfortunate five, Quatre ignored the fact that Heero had confined himself and drank tea as he played an ongoing game of Monopoly with Trowa.
Wufei also sought out refuge in his Gundam. Duo could hear him speaking to her even in the perpetually loud hangar. Duo putted around with Deathscythe a bit before he had to walk over toward Nataku to speak with Wufei. He really couldn't stand the silence for too long, it was unbearable especially since Wufei was speaking himself. That just meant he wanted company, right?
The braided pilot hopped around Nataku's space to initially get noticed. Wufei had his back to this and either didn't notice or didn't care.
"Hey Wufei!"
No answer. Duo cupped his hands around his mouth to make his voice even louder, not that he needed it. By now it should have been obvious that Wufei was just ignoring him.
"COME ON WUFEI! I'M TALKING TO YOU! WU-MAN! WUFFIE! WU…"
A mysterious wrench sailed down and conked Duo on the head. He gripped the now aching spot angrily and kicked Nataku's foot to get Wufei's attention. That also didn't work.
"So they aren't the same person after all," Duo said under his breath.
"Someone there?" Wufei asked, finally turning around.
"Oh yeah, you hear that," Duo said as he pulled himself to sit on the Gundam's foot. He could feel hatred beams from Wufei's eyes since he dared to touch his beloved hulk of metal. He, predictably, ignored them with glee.
"What do you want? Is that woman here yet?"
Duo shook his head. "No. I just wanted to talk for a minute and you know it's useless to interrupt Quatre and Trowa when they're playing Monopoly. It's been three weeks and they're still not any closer to finishing."
"…Why would I even want to know that?" Wufei asked. If there were a sound for rolling his eyes, he would have made it.
"Fine, then you don't even have to listen, I'll just pretend you are."
"Somehow your words violently tear through anyway, regardless of whether your victim wants to hear them or not. I makes me want to kill you…slowly…in your sleep."
"Okay enough honesty for today. At least I know you'd make good on your threats. Not like Heero…"
Wufei rolled his eyes without any sound.
"I mean he's threatened to kill Relena at least hundreds of times by now and all he ever does is cave. What kind of girl chases a suicidal, emotionally challenged terrorist around the globe just to try and get him to make good on his threat? 'I'll kill you', yeah right."
If Wufei cared enough to say something, it probably would have been along the lines of 'just go write him a love letter already and kill Relena yourself'. But saying those words would have meant acknowledging that he listened. Again, too much trouble and it would leave him feeling distinctly like a woman. Or a weakling, but mostly a woman.
Duo leapt off of Nataku and he pulled his braid over his shoulder to play with it idly. Wufei turned back to working on his Gundam. It was unclear as to what he was actually doing other then wiping down the control panel time after time.
"Fine, I'll go bug someone else…" Duo trailed off as a chill rushed through him. He let go of his hair and did a flat out run to the far side of the hangar. Duo launched himself over the railing to a rickety metal staircase that led up to what used to be an overseer's office. It ran right in front of the large windows that faced out to the street, tinted and reflective so that you could only see out and not in. He pressed his nose to the dusty window and immediately repelled back with a sneeze.
That still didn't deter his mind for the horrible sight he saw outside of their building.
Duo slid down the breaking banister and landed catlike on the walkway. He rushed past Nataku, calling out to Wufei and then back through the house.
"THE PINK CAR OF DOOM HAS ARRIVED! SAVE Y OURSELVES!"
Quatre and Trowa slowly broke away from their game. The blonde caught Duo by the arm as he made an obvious beeline toward Heero's room.
"Go back to the hangar. It's the safest place…" He tried to sound as nice as always but there was a tangible fear in Quatre's eyes. He pushed Duo back toward the direction he came and then turned to his other friend.
"You think we should let her in?"
Trowa shrugged. "I expect she could get in even without our help."
"Good point."
Quatre moved to the front door and dismantled the security system, the lasers, the explosives, the locks, and finally the bucket of green paint perched above the front door for emergencies before following Trowa, who had picked up the game, back toward the hanger after Duo.
A black wind blew through the streets of the city, especially around a large, seemingly abandoned building where Relena knew the Gundam Pilots were housed. This same wind seemed to follow in the wake of an expensive car that looked, honestly, like Barbie blew up on top of it. The vehicle came to a stop in front of the building, making it stand out even more in a strangely unexplainable way.
A man with heavy gray eyebrows that covered his strangely invisible eyes rushed out from the driver's seat. The look on his face was one that easily said 'kill me please' only until he opened the door to the backseat, where a young woman got out. She wore what could only be described as 'noble clothes' all white and blue. Her blonde hair was pulled back to reveal her frighteningly intense face. She adapted a no-nonsense look as she locked onto the building. It was certainly not what you would expect of a girl who was meeting with the guy she liked.
Relena tried the door to find the knob turned easily under her hand and, surprisingly, nothing lit up or blew up with her opening it. She stepped into the entryway and wrinkled her nose at the sight of how old and broken down the building was. The space wasn't too dirty or cluttered but to her eyes it must have been Hell itself. She pushed on past the foyer and into the kitchen area. There were two hallways, one to the right where she could hear hysterical sobs and the other, to the left, was perfectly silent.
Relena put her hands on her hips and turned to the right. If he wasn't there then she could get his whereabouts from the others by any means necessary.
The strange crying stopped the moment her visage was seen on the walkway above the hanger, level with 01. The young woman managed a small smile at the mobile suit before she stood with her feet shoulder length apart and stared down intensely at the three visible pilots. No one looked like he had been crying so the sobs had to have been put on as a deterrent or perhaps a weird way of calling her. The braided pilot looked up at her, shielding his eyes with a hand like he were trying to block out the sun.
"My, what a strapping young lad," Duo said under his breath, which was a casual tone for most people. Relena glared a glare that said 'while I may be a pacifist I can still have you killed'.
"I am averting my eyes," he responded and turned his attention to Trowa and Quatre's game.
"Where's Heero?" Relena asked.
"Not sure. I think he said something about killing himself and then he crashed through the window and ran off to probably take on an army of hobos with sporks," Duo explained, still averting his eyes.
"I don't want to play your games," she responded.
"Why not? Monopoly's the best."
"Is he in his room?"
"I told you, he's in a knife-fight with monkeys."
"I'll come down there."
"He's sitting in his closet. You have to enter 564ILUVWING to disarm it," said Trowa.
Relena nodded at him before turning on her heel and moving back to the hallway from before. She could have sworn she heard a small cheer far behind her.
There were six doors, all in a row, in the silent hall where Heero was presumed fearing. Relena shut her eyes and opened them ten seconds later. She turned and went mechanically to the second door on the left. Her Heero sense was right as when she was inside the cold, dark room, she could faintly hear the sounds of typing from inside the closet. She came up to the door and all sounds ceased. Relena allowed herself as smile and she typed in the code.
"Shit, I'll kill him."
"Heero!" Relena said joyously as the door slid open and the pilot rolled out past her. She approached him, not pausing to even consider the gun he pointed in her general direction. Well, he had made the threat so many times that it could almost be considered playful flirting between the two of them.
"I don't have time to talk to you today. We have…a mission."
It was hard to tell if that was for dramatic tension or if he had just thought of it. Relena's jubilant smile faded to a scowl and she put her hand up to try and move the barrel aside. Heero flipped expertly backwards into the hall before he broke out into a run toward the hangar. Relena followed.
"Where are you going, Heero?"
"It's an important mission! I can't tell you or I'll have to kill you!"
"Go ahead and kill me!"
"DAMN! Look, it's just for security purposes and I really don't want you following me there."
"You said 'us' just a minute ago."
Heero tripped over the Monopoly box situated in the hallway but he recovered quickly.
"I meant us as in the other pilots too."
"I'd be happy to come along."
Heero emerged over the hangar. The now interested pilots all watched. Even Wufei tore himself away from Windexing the display screens to observe the scene. Heero let himself fall over the railing and down to the ground. Unfortunately he landed in the middle of the monopoly board, effectively scattering the pieces and cards. Now he had a psycho and two angry pilots on his hands.
"We have a mission," he yelled.
"What is it?" Wufei asked, actually sounding interested.
"I'll explain later, just load your Gundams onto the carriers!" Heero urged as he moved to the second, smaller hangar where they had three carriers suited to moving the mobile suits. Duo looked quite amused until he saw Relena heading toward them.
"I agree with Heero, let's hurry. We're pressed for time as it is!"
Like she had her own anti-pilot radius, wherever Relena moved among the panicked pilots they were always at least ten feet away no matter which one she tried to approach. She eventually just stood in Wing Zero's path with her arms crossed and the same scary look on her face. That is certainly not an exaggeration; she could kill kittens with that expression.
Soon all the other pilots had loaded their Gundams and Wing was the only one left. Heero approached it from the back and scaled his mobile suit manually just to avoid being around her. He tried to ignore her as he activated his Gundam and moved harmlessly toward the second hangar. Relena put her hands on her hips and yelled out angrily.
"You can try and run from me but I'll always find you!" she declared.
Heero breathed a sigh of relief as the large door careened to a shut behind his Gundam. His gaze now focused on the four pilots, waiting to help him quickly put his Gundam on the plane.
There was no mission. Heero had just been up to his normal mysterious internet tricks when Relena had come upon his closet's sanctuary. The only thing he could think of was a mission and he had been dumb enough to say that the others were coming along too. Now all he could do was pilot one of the carriers silently and try and think of something plausible to tell the other pilots about this 'mission'. Anything other then he was scared of being cornered by a girl would do.