disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not her. The song Welcome to my life belongs to Simple Plan, and I am not anyone from the band.
warnings: fighting. flash back
song: Welcome to my life by Simple Plan
A/N: There you go:
Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
"Dumbledore has gone mad!" Ron exclaimed after Harry had told them what had happened. "Does he want you dead? He might as well put Snape in the house too!"
"Ron, calm down." Hermione told. "It's only until Christmas."
"Whose side are you on!"
"Harry's of course, you idiot! At least he didn't get expelled."
Harry let the newly found couple bickering by themselves. He packed his books, clothes and guitar. He was just about to go for his stash, but then remembered Ron and Hermione.
Rule number one; don't get caught.
"Um, guys? You mind going and telling Ginny about this?"
"Why can't you-" Ron started but his dear girlfriend punched him on the ribs.
"Of course we don't mind. Just finish your packing, we'll tell her. C'mon Ron."
"But-"
"Ron."
"Coming, dear."
Finally, Harry thought as Ron ran after Hermione. He kneeled down to his night desk and moved it a little so he could remove one of the small stones of the wall and take the drug bag out of the hole. He put the stone back on its place and quickly put the drugs on his bag. Then, in that second when he put the desk back on its place, Ginny walked in and hugged him tight.
"Oh Harry! I just heard. It's so awful."
"Um… Yeah." Harry had discovered that his new looks had woken Ginny's sleeping crush up. And that didn't make him too happy. 'Cause he had also discovered that he had no interest in girls what so ever. Actually, he had even had a little romance during the summer. With a boy.
Do ever want to run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
"Dumbledore has lost his mind." Ginny informed as she let go of Harry. "Isn't there anything anyone could do? Have you talked to McGonagall? Does she even know? Gosh, she'll be furious! And I can ask my dad to talk to the ministry. You must be so down."
Harry turned his back to Ginny and rolled his eyes as he closed the zipper of his back bag. Ginny talked way too much. "Um… Not really. I mean, it could be worse."
"Eh… How?" Harry gave the girl a meaningful look. "Oh! Right. You could've been expelled."
"Yeah."
"So, um… When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow."
"Wow… That's really soon." Ginny sat down on Harry's bed as he walked across the room checking that he wasn't missing anything. "Um… Harry?"
He turned to face her. "Yeah?"
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
"I'm really gonna miss you."
Rule number two; don't blush.
Harry turned bright red and quickly turned his back on her.
"Are you gonna miss me?"
This was one of these moments when Harry wished he hadn't returned to Hogwarts for the sixth year. He really didn't want to answer that question. "Eh… Of course. You're my friend."
"Just a friend?" Ginny sounded little disappointed. Harry felt like it was now safe to turn around again.
"Yes. Just a friend."
"Of course. Um… Could I ask you something? It's kind of… Rather personal."
Rule number three; don't reveal anything.
"Shoot." Me, he added in his mind. Now, please.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
Harry wasn't sure if he had heard correctly. "Do I have a what?" He certainly didn't have a girlfriend. All he had was an ex-boyfriend, who also happened to be a muggle, with a snake and a parrot. And the only reason for fact that he was an ex, was Hogwarts. Apparently he wasn't into long-distance relationships. "A girlfriend? God no!" That reaction may had been little too strong for Ginny.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Are you stupid or something? "That means that I don't have a girlfriend. Why'd you even ask? I think you'd know if I had one."
"Okay. You have a boyfriend then?"
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
"What?" He couldn't believe his ears. Did she just ask that? "You think I'm gay or something?"
Ginny looked really insecure right now. She had stood up. "Well, no. But I just-"
"You just what? Wanna find a reason why I don't want you?"
"No! I-"
"Ginny, just because an available guy doesn't want you, doesn't mean he's gay. You're not that gorgeous, you know." Okay, that was mean. And completely unnecessary. Tears shone in her eyes.
"Since when you've been such an ass?" She shouted. "You used to be so nice and kind but now you're nothing but an asshole!"
Harry laughed a cold, short laugh. "A minute ago you were all over me and now I'm an asshole? Oh well, people intend to turn to assholes when they don't give you what you want."
Ginny slapped him on the cheek. The dorm was silent as a grave. She looked so small and scared as she waited for Harry to do anything. After a long pause of silence he put his hand on Ginny's shoulder. "You touch me again and you're dead. Now, get the fuck out of here." You didn't have to tell her twice. She was gone faster than you blink your eye.
He sat on the floor, leaning on his bed. Gosh, life sucked. Like he didn't have enough problems already. He also had to ruin his relationship with one of his few friends. Friends. Did he even have friends? Not really. So did it really matter? No.
He noticed a peace of paper under his bed. He took it and saw it was a photo. A muggle photo.
Rule number four; don't remember.
The other boy in the photo had a beautiful blonde hair down to his shoulders and chocolate brown eyes. On his neck was a necklace made of wooden pearls. He was leaning on a kitchen sink and Harry's back was in the picture too.The blonde had a white t-shirt which said Francis comes. On the back, though you couldn't see it from the photo, it said Francis goes. Harry had loved that shirt. He had worn that on one day in Grimmauld Place 12. Mad-Eye Moody had called him Francis for the day.
The photo was from Francis's eighteenth birthday. His sister had taken it when they were alone in the kitchen. They hadn't even noticed. It was one of the worst days he spent with Francis.
Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
flashback
"You ready?"
Harry gave Francis a look which clearly said 'are you insane?'.
"I'll take that as a no then." Harry sank deeper in the seat. They were sitting on Francis's car in front of his house. It was his eighteenth birthday and the day when Harry would finally meet his family. "C'mon, you're gonna be just fine. They'll love you."
"I wouldn't be so sure." Harry muttered, staring at his hands.
"I would. Look, my family's happy if I'm happy. That's enough for them."
"Are you happy then?"
"Yeah, I am. Okay, you're not perfect. No one is. Honey, can we go in now? They'll wonder where we are."
Harry still wasn't convinced that Francis's mother would love her son's fifteen year old drug addict boyfriend. Who also happened to be a wizard. Okay, she didn't know that. Neither did Francis. Not the point. Harry sighed. "Let's go get this over with."
A wide smile spread on the blonde's face. "That's my boy." He said and pressed a quick kiss on Harry's lips. They got out of the car and went in. As soon as the door opened, something really colorful jumped on Francis.
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
"Franny!" She screamed and hugged her brother tight. "Thank god you're here. Mom's killing me." She whispered in his ear as they parted.
"I was away for an hour, Bi."
Bianca had a short blue hair and brown eyes as her brother. She was wearing a black ballerina-skirt, an orange top, which said MOVE!, and a blue long-sleeved shirt under it. She also had lime-green tights and a lot of necklaces and pearls around her wrists. Her red-painted lips started moving really fast. "Dad's here. Drunk, of course. Jack's gonna kick him out the minute you have greeted him. I really don't get it why he had to stay until you came. It's not like you want to see him, right? Anyway, Aunt Joy and Uncle Martin are here too. And Ann and Kyle, of course. Oh, Tony's not coming. And the Wilson's are just about to leave. So, who's this?"
Harry startled as Bianca's gaze moved on him. "Um…" Francis put his arm on his shoulder.
"This is Harry."
She checked him from head to tow and then winked to Francis. "A minute, please?"
Francis excused himself and followed his sister in the kitchen. "What?"
"Who is that pierced and tattooed creep in the hallway?"
"He's not a creep. He's my boyfriend."
"You're boyfriend? Okay, I see. How old is he?"
"What does it matter?"
"How old?"
"Fifteen. Sixteen in August."
"He's younger than me!"
"Well… A little, yeah."
"A little! Your so called boyfriend is a year younger than your little sister. How sick is that?"
Rule number five; don't date older boys.
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
"Why you always have to be so obsessed by my boyfriends' ages?"
"He's freaking fifteen and you're eighteen. Isn't that against the law or something?"
"Okay, he's young. But he's the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. Do not ruin this for me."
"Have you slept with him?"
"What?"
"Have you slept with him? It's a simple question, yes or no."
"I'm not gonna answer that."
"Why not?"
"My sex-life is none of your business, that's why. God, Bi! Isn't it enough that I like him? Can't you even give him a chance?"
"If you answer my question."
A deep sigh. "Yes. I have slept with him. Happy now?"
"Is he any good?"
"You don't need to know that."
"Oh, yes I do."
Another deep sigh. "Well… For a first timer, he's amazing."
"Really?"
"Don't even think about it."
"Why not? Poor boy's just finding himself, he doesn't know if he's straight or gay or bi-"
"I'm going back now." Francis went back to Harry and gave him a long and a very passionate kiss, maybe just to show Bianca that Harry was his boyfriend.
"What did you talk about?" Harry asked. Of course he had heard everything. And in one point he was ready to run out of the house and never come back.
"Family stuff."
Liar. Harry thought as they entered the backyard. "Francis!" An older woman with the same brown eyes and the same blonde hair came smiling widely to Francis. This, Harry assumed, was his mother. "You're back. Great. You're father's here, go say hello so we can get rid of him. Thanks dear. Oh, and who's this?"
"This is Harry, mom. I told you about him, remember?"
"Oh yes! You did. It's nice to meet you Harry. I'm always happy to meet Francis's friends. He isn't home much and I don't really know what he does with his free time, so it's so nice to meet someone who has a big part in his life. Now, you must tell me about his girlfriend. I know he has someone, but he refuses to tell anything about her."
Harry stared in shock. "Eh…" He started and gave Francis the what-the-fuck-?-look. "I'm sorry, I don't know her either. Francis, may I have a word?"
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
And once again Francis walked in the kitchen. Harry was furious. "They don't know!"
"Well-"
"You drag me here to meet your family and they don't even know you're gay?"
"Well-"
"Shut up, don't talk to me." They stood in silence for a long moment.
"Okay, maybe I should've told you-"
"You should've told them." Harry spat and rubbed his fore head. He was having a headache and he was starting to feel weak. He hadn't taken his dose that day. "Fran, why am I here?"
"I dunno. I don't even know why I'm here. We can leave if you want."
Harry shook his head. "No. It's your party and your family. I'll go."
"I really wanted to be with you today."
"Yeah, well… Meet me in the park at eight. And tell your mom that I'm sorry I couldn't stay."
end flashback
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
Harry put the photo away and leaned his head on his knees. Ron came into the dorm. "Are you gonna yell at me too?" Harry asked, not looking up.
"No. I just wondered if you wanted to go for dinner. Apologize Ginny and stuff. Maybe even eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Harry, what's wrong with you? You haven't eaten all day, you fight with Ginny… You never fight with Ginny! You beat Malfoy up and almost got yourself expelled… What's going on?" Ron sat next to his friend. "You can tell me anything, you know."
Harry lifted his head and looked Ron straight to the eyes. "I'm fine."
"No you're not."
"Can I just be alone for a moment?"
"Harry-"
"Ron, please. I'm really not hungry."
Ron sighed and stood up. "Fine. You wanna go play Quidditch then? It's your last night here after all."
The raven haired teen smiled. "Yeah, sure."
Rule number six; don't forget to live.
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
A/N: Not a mind reader, loves. Tired, but not a mind reader.
reviews:
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