Warning: I forgot to put language as one of the warnings so that makes the count Relena-based criticism, shounen-ai if you squint at this point in story, general oddness, characters not acting like themselves, and language…again.

Disclaimer: It gets tiring to do this every chapter and I'm only on three. Okay so: Me. Not. Own. Gundam. Wing. That's me as in I, do not as in have nothing to do with creating, and Gundam Wing as in the show started in Japan by people who I am too lazy to look up. Clear as mud? Good, let's move on.

Parabola of Mystery

Chapter Three

"So Heero, where are we going?" This time it was Trowa who asked but everyone had at least five rounds on him at this point. Heero cursed the little vids at the corner of his vision that pictured the other three annoyed Gundam pilots. He currently rode with Trowa while the others were in the following carriers. He had taken the lead because, naturally, he was the only one who knew where they were going. Spandex-boy couldn't be more lost. He saw that they were just flying over the pick-your-favorite ocean which meant that he really would have to settle on a direction rather then just flying randomly different ways whenever he felt like turning. He had a sneaking suspicion that Relena was following him so he did his best try and shake this imaginary pursuit off.

Trowa cocked his head to the side, showing a hint of impatience where the others had completely lost it. He had turned off the audio a few minutes ago just to keep his sanity. If he were capable of being amused at this point he would have laughed at the strange faces they were making. Duo's mouth never stopped moving…he was kinda cute without the noise.

"Don't tell me you don't know…" Trowa started. Heero didn't bat an eyelash.

"I'll take that as a ye..."

"We're going to Sorolaff," Heero replied shortly, cutting him off. Trowa crossed his arms and probably arched an eyebrow. It was hard to tell with the hair.

"Sorolaff? Where's that located?"

"In Asia."

"That's not an Asian name."

"It's a colony. Who are we to pass judgment on their culture?"

"You're making that up."

Heero gave Trowa his predictable death glare, "I'm just relaying the information that I was told. We're to go to Sorolaff and retrieve an artifact before the enemy does."

Trowa leaned forward and turned the audio back on.

"DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN"

"Would you please turn it back on…oh…"

Those last two came from Duo and Quatre respectively. The blonde pilot clutched his ears and was half out of the screen. He was apparently leaning as far away from the braided pilot as possible. Duo continued screaming 'damn', even though it was clear that the sound was back.

"Shut up, Duo, I've managed to get some information out of him," Trowa said calmly. Duo shut his mouth.

"We're going to…Sorolaff…an…Asian country that Heero's going to lead us to. Apparently we have to find some ancient artifact."

Duo perked right up, "sounds remotely questy. What are we retrieving?"

Heero shrugged and kept his eyes straight ahead.

"Sorolaff? Is that even a real country?" Quatre mused.

"He claims it is," Trowa replied.

"Why did we have to hurry?" Wufei asked. Of all of them he was the least interested.

"Because the enemy is also after the artifact," Heero lied.

"Enemy?"

The young man in charge of this fiasco tightened his grip on the wheel. Great now he had to think of an enemy. Well, he had already struck out with the mythical kingdom of Sorolaff so he may as well bs some more.

"It's a fringe OZ organization that's just now had enough members and firepower to surface."

All the other pilots rolled their eyes in unison. Well, it may not have been in unison since there was a three second delay with the vid screens.

Duo took the plunge. "Uh-huh and what's it called?"

"…The Cowardly Lion."

"Very funny. Come on, you just wanted to get away from Relena, didn't you?"

Quatre nodded assent to Duo's claim and Trowa and Wufei weren't too far behind though the latter looked notably pissed.

This was his one chance to clear the air, to come clean, to get it out in the open, to continue trying to think of clichéd phrases in order to avoid actually addressing the topic at hand. Heero shook his head. He could easily admit that the others were dead right about his reasons for rushing them out of the base. The worst thing that could happen was bodily injury from the more violent ones. Hell, he could even try and talk it out with them about his internal fear of Relena. That seemed like the best way out and all they would have to do is go back and he could escape alone to avoid his stalker. Heero's eyes showed his obvious determination as he replied.

"No. The timing of the mission was just convenient. Would I go to all this trouble for Relena? You know I don't bullshit missions."

The answer was no-freaking-way. He would rather blow up again then admit his girl-centered fear aka girlish fear. It was a funny thought though. They were silent all across the board.

"…Sure thing. It's not like I have anything better to do." Duo said.

"I think there's something you aren't telling us, but I know you have your reasons," Quatre added.

"...I'll be pissed if there's nothing there and I still don't accept the Cowardly Lion as a valid enemy," said Wufei.

Trowa didn't say anything but even if he disagreed it wasn't like he could just pick up and leave. Heero gave a small jerk of his head and continued flying. Now they would have to go somewhere in Asia. It had to be secluded, ancient, but convenient enough so that he could find a local treasure or something and make it an important artifact.

"Mission accepted."

Duo let Quatre fly the rest of the way. He was a bit too exhausted, especially since he had spent the entire night before playing an unbeatable video game. You'd think that after all his specialized training and actual epic space fighting that he would be able to master something as simple as Dynasty Warriors. He just kept getting mobbed by all the like-faced lackeys. Duo yawned and stretched out on his stiff and intentionally uncomfortable pilot's seat. He supposed that it was designed as such to torture the men in charge because all designers were evil and they probably had some obscure belief that if someone was left idle for too long then they would fall asleep. He showed them, he was asleep in two minutes after he left the flying to Quatre, uncomfortable seat n' all.

Quatre shook Duo awake half-a-second later. The American pilot yawned and slowly opened his eyes. He blinked, looked from side to side through the windshield, and blinked again. All he saw was green, like they were in some sort of Asian or African wilderness. He always got scenery confused.

"Where the Hell are we?"

"Sorolaff," Quatre replied.

"Oh yeah, Heero's imaginary country."

Quatre leaned forward and switched on the video screens again. Heero's grim face greeted them.

"So do we go out in the Gundams?" Quatre asked.

"No. For now I'll just go out in person to assess the situation. Just stay here."

Duo slammed his hand down on the control panel. It wasn't intentional, just a reaction from being off balance when his feet left said panel.

"No freaking way. I'm not gonna sit here all day watching Quatre and Trowa play Old Maid."

"Monopoly"

"At least two of us should go out. Three pilots and five Gundams is more then enough security for the carriers," Duo said.

Heero glared and Wufei's face flickered onscreen.

"I'm coming too. You think I want to watch them play checkers?"

"Monopoly!"

Wufei waved his hand, presumably at Quatre, "I need actual proof that this is a real mission."

Heero waited in consideration for about five seconds before he sighed and nodded. "Fine. Duo and Wufei can come. Trowa and Quatre can stay and play I Spy."

"Old Maid! I mean Monopoly!" Quatre's patience was waning.

"Then it's settled."

As Heero went off, Trowa came back on.

"So do you really want to play Old Maid?"

Quatre slammed his hands on the control panel and it wasn't an accident this time.

"For the last time, Monopoly."

"…I didn't bring it."

"Oh.Then how about Mall Madness?"

Trowa's eye widened. "What?"

"I don't have a deck of cards on me either and Duo keeps a copy of Mall Madness in Deathscythe at all times. I don't really know why."

Trowa shrugged. "Sure, I'll go to your carrier."

Quatre shut down the plane then. They wouldn't need it working since they even doubted the validity of their mission. He listened to make sure that Duo was out of earshot and stood up. "I hate Old Maid."

Wufei leapt down from this high door of his carrier down to the ground. It had taken him a bit longer then the rest of the assessment party to get ready. This was only due to the fact that he was in the process of putting up motion detectors and small bombs all around his beloved Nataku. That and he had to re-gel his hair. He hadn't done enough that morning.

Wufei jogged and easily caught up with Heero and Duo who were halfway out of the semi-clearing where they agreed to meet. He took a breath and immediately gagged. The air was hot and heavy enough that it could probably qualify as a liquid. At least he had dressed lightly. Duo, who was head to toe in black, clawed at his hair and wrapped his braid around his hand. Wufei regarded him with a subtle 'what-the-hell-you-crazy-hyena' look.

"Aaaagh it's too hot, my hair's gonna get all icky," Duo said. That sort of explained his actions. Heero's eyes snapped toward him, he was visibly regretting his move to allow Duo to come along. Out of all of them he was the best off since he was the most scantily clad. Not that he would complain either way.

Wufei and Heero both took the lead and easily pushed the overgrown brush aside as they ventured further into the jungle-like Sorolaff wilderness. Duo paused at the edge and let go of his hair before he raced in after them. They were perfectly quiet for the first few brush miles or so (disregarding the small curses that came from Duo pretty much endlessly).

Heero stopped when they were in another clearing, one with few trees and the horrible, horrible sun. He glared at his two followers and said something to the extent of 'stay here, I'm going to see where we are' before he ran off into the distance, perhaps never to be seen or heard from again. Wufei was secretly glad for the break since it was so freaking hot. The same could be said for his companion. Duo was so happy that he started dancing around. That's what it looked like at first but as Wufei turned his eyes back to the brunette he saw that he was whacking his arms and face. Duo's ballet went on for some time, so long that he had to ask.

"Is there a problem?"

Duo took this as an invitation and hopped over to Wufei. The Chinese pilot leapt back when he realized that he was actually swatting away giant, unidentified insects. Wufei never had a great fondness for bugs. Especially large, diseased ones.

"Yeah there's a problem. Where'd all these freaking bloodsuckers come from? I even rolled my sleeves down and they keep attacking me…" He scrubbed at his face.

Wufei fought back an urge to laugh. His entire arms were bare and he hadn't been bitten by anything.

"They must really like you."

"Oh go ahead and laugh. I'm perfectly willing to cut myself open and bleed all over you so you can have whatever Asian or African disease I've probably gotten eight thousand times."

Wufei turned his head to the side so he could smirk openly without eliciting another response from his companion.

"I don't know what to tell you. I'm sure that your particular doctor shot you up with all sorts of immunizations so you'll be okay…probably."

Duo kicked out wildly at Wufei but he easily dodged it.

"Why aren't they attacking YOU?" He yelled in frustration.

Wufei got to his feet as he heard a familiar click from somewhere behind them. Duo was still as oblivious as ever and he continued in his panicked gyrations.

"Just KILL me now," He moaned dramatically. More clicking and now there were the sounds of shuffling.

Wufei cursed and grabbed Duo roughly by the arm before clamping a hand firmly over his big mouth. He protested and wriggled to try and get away but he too quieted down when they heard the rushing of footsteps. Whoever was coming was obviously trying to be stealthy.

"Well look what we found."

Wufei released Duo as ten men, armed to the teeth and dressed identically, entered the clearing. Each of them had semi-automatics and were locked onto the two pilots. While not entirely unexpected, they came upon them so out of nowhere that the two pilots were slow to react. Duo put his hands on his hips and nudged closer to Wufei. His hands were firmly in his pockets so he could avoid swatting at the bugs and getting them both blown up. For his part, Wufei kept his arms harmlessly at his sides and he didn't even let fleeing surprise cross his face.

He couldn't tell too much about the attackers other then they looked remotely military but slightly gone to seed with their faded red, threadbare outfits.

"Don't even think of moving," said the annoyingly nasal one in the lead. He was slightly in darkness so it was hard to tell, but Wufei assumed he looked as irritating as his voice.

"Who are you?" Wufei asked.

The man in charge threw his head back and laughed like some cartoony villain. "Isn't it obvious? I thought that the word would have spread by now. We're from OZ. Well previously. Now we call ourselves the Cowardly Lion and you're our prisoners of war. I suggest you put your hands up, ladies."

Duo and Wufei were deadpan. "Son of a Bitch."

I also don't own Dynasty Warriors or any other assorted game. Just thought I'd put it at the end to…not ruin the surprise? Well, I hoped you liked the current installment and I thank you for reading it. Comments are welcome.