I haven't been giving my chapters titles, but if I did, this one would be called "The Last Action Hero."

Also: I do something in this chapter that I don't think I've done in any of the previous 62 parts.

Disclaimer: I am not Rob Thomas, the genius who created Veronica Mars. I am merely Mediancat, who seems to, for the moment at least, have the longest single Veronica Mars fanfic on this website.

Okay, that's not so much a disclaimer as bragging.

X X X X X

No points if you guess who it was.

I turned around and saw, yes, Trina Echolls standing about fifteen feet away from with her rifle pointed in my general direction. She wasn't in a firing stance, but I wasn't foolish enough to make a charge at her, and I wouldn't have been even if I could have used my left shoulder for something more than hanging one arm of my blouse on.

"You're pretty clever, Veronica. I have to give you that."

"Thanks for the compliment."

She chuckled. "I know you're not looking for compliments from me right now. But I have to say, Veronica: I was starting to get a little bored waiting for you and Logan to come charging up here in that bright yellow monster he drives. I was wondering if maybe you weren't going to come at all. And then I see you moving through the woods. Like I said, pretty clever." She gestured with the rifle. "Now, out into the clearing, please. I know these woods pretty well and I wouldn't like to have my brother come rushing at me in a misguided attempt to try to rescue you."

I wouldn't have exactly called it misguided, but then, I wasn't the one holding the rifle.

Realizing my mind had gone into babble mode, I looked up. "Still waiting," she said.

The good news is that Trina hadn't simply summarily executed me, and she could have easily done that. So she was waiting for something.

Still, I didn't want to get her angry. Rule number one about being a detective: Never piss off the person carrying the gun.

I moved out into the clearing. When I was about thirty feet from the front door – Trina told me to stop. Inside the house, I could now clearly see that Lynn was tied – loosely – to the chair she was sitting in.

"Logan!" Trina yelled, and this time she did get into a firing stance, pointing the rifle directly at my chest. "I know you can hear me, brother dear. I've got my rifle pointed right at Veronica and if I don't see you in thirty seconds –

Another reason for us to be out in the clearing, where we were. There was nowhere for Logan to sneak. Even if he used the cover of the hunting lodge and Trina's car, he would have had to run a good forty feet in the open before he'd reach Trina.

"That'd be twenty," Trina said. Then, exactly five seconds later, "Fifteen!"

"You can knock off the dramatics, Trina," Logan said from somewhere behind me. "I'm here."

Smiling, Trina said, "Knock off the dramatics? But they've worked so well for me." Then, laughing – a laugh, that, chillingly, was full of genuine amusement – she said, "And you all thought I was a horrible actress. I've managed to fool all of you for weeks now." She looked at Logan. "What, brother? No snarky comments?"

"Not when you've got a rifle pointed at me, no."

Trina laughed again. "I'm beginning to think I should have done this earlier." After a second, "Logan, be a sweetie and go get your SUV and bring it back here. And please, throw me your cell phone. You too, Veronica."

Logan did so, with a sour expression on his face. I followed a half second later. "And in case you get any ideas about taking off for help, remember, angry sister, girlfriend, big gun. I want you back here in – she looked at her watch – eight minutes." Trina had it timed well. It had taken us about eight minutes to walk the half mile or so here. Logan wouldn't have time to do anything more than exactly what Trina had asked.

And we didn't have any spare phones, either. At this point, my hope was that Dad had gotten the call and was on his way up here. Preferably backed by a platoon of marines. Though at this point in terms of rescue I'd settle for Don Lamb. Although the odds were even between him helping me or simply standing back and laughing. Maybe he'd arrest Trina for illegal discharge of a firearm. Or hunting without a license.

"Trina, can I ask you a question?"

Lowering the rifle, she said, "Of course you can."

"How did you know we were coming?"

"Oh, Veronica, Veronica," she said. "You're clever but even you make mistakes."

"Such as?"

"When you called me you asked how things had gone at Lehane. I heard the entire conversation; Lynn never mentioned the name of the agency, and I didn't either. And since you seemed all surprised I was guessing your father hadn't mentioned it either." Damn. She was right.

"You said mistakes."

"The second is trusting members of Eli Navarro's gang who aren't actually, you know, Eli Navarro."

"Armando called you." It wasn't a question.

She laughed. "Of course he did. What could the three hundred you were paying him compare to the thousand I said I'd pay him if he called and told when you were on your way?" So, let's review: I'd pegged Trina as harmless and not having a malicious bone in her body, and Armando as being basically a nice guy. I was beginning to think that maybe my ability to judge people's characters wasn't quite as impressive as I'd thought.

"So what next?"

"Well, first we wait for Logan to come back," she said.

"And then?"

"And then? Veronica, life is not, in fact, anything like the movies. I am not Ernst Stavro Blofeld and I will not be explaining my evil plan to you."

"Whatever the plan is," I said, "It had better be a fast one. My father and half a dozen other people know where we are."

"Why do you think I haven't crushed your cell phones? Oh, Veronica, you can be so naïve sometimes. Once Logan gets back here you're going to call them and tell them it was a false alarm."

"And then just stand around and wait for you to kill us?"

"Who said I was going to kill you?"

"I think the rifle you're carrying might have mentioned it."

She just smiled enigmatically.

A few minutes later, Logan drove up and got out, shooting Trina a dirty look as he did

"Now," she said, "Pick up the phones and go inside, please. And move back from the door."

Logan held the door for me and then rushed over to check over Lynn. Apart from being tied up – which included a gag – she seemed to be okay.

Of course, that condition wasn't likely to last long, under the circumstances. I actually wondered why Trina hadn't simply summarily shot her as soon as she got her here.

Or why Logan and I weren't dead already.

The only thing I could think of was that Trina was waiting for something.

But what?

The inside of the cabin was half classic hunting lodge, half luxury resort. There were a couple of more deer heads on the walls, a full although small kitchen, and a giant flat-screen TV on one wall. Nothing that looked immediately useful,

"Okay, Logan," Trina said. "You've had enough time to look at Lynn. Now sit down on the couch –" she pointed to the couch in front of the television – "and start calling people."

She tossed us our cell phones.

In a flash of inspiration, I called Wallace first.

"Veronica?" he said. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "Just wanted to let you know you can call off the search."

I paused for just a half second, long enough for him to say, "You already told me that."

"Yes, I did," I said. "The hunting cabin thing? False alarm." Please be quick on the uptake Wallace, please . . .

"There's something wrong, isn't there?" Yes! I knew he was my BFF for a reason!

"Absolutely. Talk to you later."

As I moved to hang up, I heard him say, "I'm calling your father."

Then, to delay that, I called Weevil. "Yo, V."

"False alarm," I said. "The car wasn't Trina's."

"It wasn't?'

"Nope. Your boy Armando's out three hundred." And out a lot more, if I ever get the chance to tell Weevil how he sold me out.

"Damn. Sorry about that, V. We'll keep looking."

Then I called my father. Logan had already put down his phone. "Dad?"

"Veronica. Wallace just called. I'm on my way. So's the Sheriff's Department."

"It was a false alarm," I said. "Trina's not at the hunting cabin. Logan and I are going to keep looking."

"I'll be up there as soon as I can. Stall her."

"Yeah, that's a good place to look," I said. "Talk to you later."

"Love you," he said.

"You too," I said, and hung up.

"I wasn't able to get in touch with Mac," Logan said. "But Duncan and Meg got the message loud and clear."

"So did Weevil, Wallace, and Dad." I wished like hell I could find some way to let Logan know that help was still on the way, but I couldn't count on Trina's cluelessness. Not any longer. I turned to Trina. "So now I assume we're dead where we stand?"

"Don't be silly, Veronica," Trina. "I don't want to get blood all over the floor. Besides, I might want to use this place again at some point."

"Right. You're a hunter."

"And a very good one," Trina said.

"You didn't hit Mom once," Logan said.

"Yes," Trina said, "I didn't. I wonder why that is." At this point, so did I. "Oh well," Trina said. "I guess it's time to get this overwith. Logan, if you'd please untie your mother, we're all going to go for a walk in the woods." With any luck, a mountain lion would eat her.

Lynn stood up awkwardly, glaring at Trina. "Why are you doing this?"

"You know me," Trina said. "I'm all about the drama. Now --" she gestured with the rifle for us all to walk out the back door.

I went first, then Logan, then Lynn. Finally, Trina

And that's when our rescuer charged in.

The last person anyone would have ever suspected of being an action hero took down Trina Echolls with a flying tackle. The rifle fell free. Logan scrambled for it and picked it up, aiming it in the general direction of the scrum. "Trina!" he yelled.

Trina and our rescuer looked up and, I guess, this is when Trina realized she'd been caught. The two pulled free of each other. "Stay down," Logan said as I leaned down and, right arm only, pulled our rescuer upright.

"Thank you," I said.

And the last action hero smiled. "I'm just glad I got here in time, Veronica," Mac said.

"Damn it!" Trina said. "It was supposed to end, but not like this!"

"I know," Logan said, "It was supposed to end with everyone dead."

Trina shook her head. "No! It was supposed to end with a big dramatic rescue by her father or the Sheriff's Department! Not . . . taken down by a computer geek. No offense."

Mac muttered sarcastically, "Offense taken."

"Not how it was supposed to end?" I asked incredulously.

"You didn't think I really was trying to kill Lynn, do you? I missed three times." Wordlessly, I pointed to my left shoulder. "Okay," she said, rolling her eyes. "I missed Lynn three times. I wasn't trying to hit you, either. I really am sorry about that. But I'm a hunter."

"I'd assumed you were just a lousy one," Logan said angrily. "Now what? You're going to say you weren't trying to kill my mother when you nearly killed my girlfriend?"

Trina actually smiled. "Logan. Of course not."

"Just shut up, Trina," I said.

"Veronica --"

I'd had it. Everything I'd been holding back -- through Clarence Weidman's blackmail; through the combined efforts of the Casablancas brothers to ruin my life; through Aaron Echolls' murder of my best friend; through all of it, the frustrations of an entire year, poured out of me at that moment. I went over there and hit her as hard as I could in the face. "I said, shut up. You wanted someone to catch you. I guess if Logan and I hadn't come roaring up Lynn would have made a miraculous last-second escape. So: you shot me, shot at your stepmother, kidnapped her and scared the hell out of everyone just to satisfy your fucking sense of drama?"

She looked up at me and, unbelievably, smiled again. "I guess that'll all come out at the trial, won't it?"

I hit her again. And then a third time.

When I drew back my hand for a fourth time, a voice said, "Veronica! That's enough."

"It's not enough!" I said. "It's not enough!"

My father grabbed my arm. "Yes," he said. "It is."

I turned and said, "It's not!" I said. "It's not, it's not . . ."

And for a while the only sound outside the Echolls hunting lodge was that of me crying.