disclaimer: Harry Potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not her. The song System doesn't belong to me either. It belongs to the one who made it. I didn't.
warnings: Cursing. And... Well, find out.
song: System by Chester Bennington (Queen of the damned soundtrack)
A/N: I'm back, believe it or not. Now, it would be really, REALLY nice if you read the following text in this author's note before reading the actual story. Thank you. Many of you have asked about Harry's withdrawal symptoms in reviews. Well, the thing is that I've been doing some research and I found out that cocaine doesn't cause physical withdrawal symptoms. Meaning that the addiction is only psychological so if you stop using, you won't be having physicalwithdrawal symptoms, though sometimes the person quitting may experience the strong psychological addiction also physical (psychosomatic symptoms). So withdrawal symptoms from cocaine are depression and that kind of things. That's what I found out and if someone knows better, tell me. But in this story we're going to go with this. Now you may read the story.
You fell away
What more can I say
The feeling's evolved
I won't let it out
When Harry woke up the next morning the first thing he noticed was that Draco wasn't there. The second thing he noticed was that the clock was eight thirty. Oh well, what does it matter? He thought and listened to the voices of the house. Draco was doing something downstairs. Oh goodie, now, where's my baby? Harry jumped off the bed and went through every single drawer and a closet in the room. He checked the under of the bed and the behind of the desk. He found nothing.
"It's not there anymore." Harry jumped and turned around. Draco was leaning on the doorframe, looking rather disappointed. "I thought you wanted me to get rid of them."
"What can I say, never trust an addict." Harry told.
"I should've remembered that. So the whole thing, the kiss and us sleeping together, was only about you getting your drugs back?"
"Pretty much, yeah. Oh please, don't give me that look. You seriously thought I would want to have anything like that with you? You must be out of your mind."
"Fine then. I'll just go write McGonagall and tell her everything."
"Oh no you won't." And again, Draco was spun against the wall. "You said that you'll write to her if I ask you to give them back to me. You never said anything about taking them back, now, did you? No, I believe you didn't. And besides, I didn't even find them. You won."
"If I had won, you wouldn't have even tried to look for them." Draco whispered.
"You can't change me in one night, you know. That takes time, Drake. Anyway, why aren't you at school?"
"It's Sunday, Golden Boy. So you used me then?"
Harry pretended to think for a moment. "Yes, well, I guess I'm not that golden after all." Then he pressed a quick kiss on the blonde's lips and let him go. "Stuff is gone then, huh?"
"Yeah, it is. You're a lot cuter when you're asleep." Draco remarked. He was starting to sound more and more like a Malfoy again.
"Fine. Even this sorry ass excuse for a town must have at least one dealer." Harry gave Draco a mock smile and went to his room to get dressed. He was followed by the blonde.
"You're not getting more!"
"Who's stopping me?" The raven haired one asked as he buttoned his black jeans.
"I am!"
I can't replace
Your screaming face
Feeling the sickness inside
"You and what army?" The question actually made Draco smile. He stepped out of the room and closed the door and, well, he locked it. Funny thing is, there was no lock in the door. Harry jumped to the door and tried it. "Draco, let me out!"
"Not before you come to your senses!"
"You're not the only wizard here! Now open to door or I'll be forced to break it!"
"Ha! You and what army?"
Harry grabbed to doorknob and concentrated very hard. He focused all of his magical and non-magical powers just to open the door. But on the other side of it, Draco was doing exactly the same. Concentrating and focusing all of his powers to keep the door closed. After a minute or two Harry got frustrated and banged the door with his fists. "I'm not kidding, Draco! Let me out! You can't keep me here forever!" There was no answer. Harry tried to calm down and grabbed the doorknob again. The battle of the minds continued for maybe five minutes. Then Harry gave up again. He threw the chair to the door but it spat it back. "Are you fucking trying to kill me? Answer me, fuck's sake!" But Draco didn't answer. Harry lay down on the bed and calmed down. Or at least he tried to. Draco would get tired sooner or later, he didn't have his wand and he was only sixteen. His mind wasn't strong enough to keep the door closed the whole day.
But Harry didn't want to wait. He crawled to the door and sat next to it. "Draco?" He called. Maybe he could talk his way out of this.
Why won't you die
Your blood in mine
We'll be fine
Then your body will be mine
"Yes, Harry?"
"Look, you can't really keep me here forever. You have to let me out in some point."
"The later the better."
"Draco… Please…"
"So now you're saying please? Fifteen minutes ago you were ready to spat on my face."
"Yes, I know, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I wasn't thinking clearly-"
"And cocaine is gonna make you think clearly? I ain't buying it, drama queen."
"No, I don't want cocaine… I just want to get better. I want you to help me to get better."
Draco laughed aloud. "Yeah right!" It was pretty obvious that he didn't believe a word. "You asked me last night that don't I have any feelings for you? You remember? When I told you I might regret in the morning."
"Yeah, I remember…" Harry sighed. So you had to bring that up?
"Well, it seems to me that you're the one with no feelings. Towards anyone! You treat people like they're your toys."
"Oh, look who's talking!"
"Hey! I have never made anyone believe that I'm in love with them!"
"Wha- I never did that!" Harry paused. "Or did I? You thought I'm in love with you? And you still didn't send me away? Draco… Are you in love with me?"
"No, of course not, you idiot. You just acted like you were in love with me. And… Well, it made me confused, okay? And- Wait, what am I doing? I can't talk with you about this, you're ready to do anything to get out of there."
So many words
Can't describe my face
This feeling's evolved
So soon to break out
"No, Draco, I…" But he didn't know how to continue. "I'm sorry. About everything. Just… Talk to me." There was a long silence between them. But then Draco started to talk.
"You probably think that I'm made of ice or something, like I don't have feelings. But I actually do, and this time we've spent here… Last night… The kiss… All of the kisses… You're really confusing me. First you kiss and ask me about my feelings and then you tell me that you could never want anything with me and… I don't know what I feel for you and your actions aren't making it any easier. Maybe I would know what I feel if I knew what you feel but first you say one thing and then you say something else. I don't know what to believe anymore." There was a pause. "I've always taken it as a granted that I like girls. But then you came and got us here and… Fuck it. Why am I telling you this?"
"Because you're not made of ice." Harry told and heard the other boy let out a short laugh. "I haven't really lied to you, you know. Except when I said that I wouldn't want anything with you. I just said it because I was mad and, well, drugs really screw me up, you know."
"Then why'd you want them?"
"They make feel good. They make me forget."
"Forget what?"
"Sirius's death." I can't believe I just said that! Harry cursed in his mind. This was Draco Malfoy he was talking with. "He was my godfather, you know."
"You can't just try to forget someone's death. You need to grieve. It doesn't matter how you do it. But you can't just get over it with drugs."
"Yeah, I suppose…"
"You want to talk about it?" Draco asked then.
"Why?"
"Well, we're gonna be stuck here for a while so we might as well go through all the deep shit now."
Harry cracked a small smile. "No, I don't wanna talk about it. But can we play a game?"
"If it's a game where I let you out, then no."
"No, nothing like that. It's a game where I ask you a question and you have to tell the truth and then you get to ask me a question and I have to tell the truth. You're in?"
"Yeah, whatta hell… Shoot."
"Are you aware of the fact that soon I'll be having withdrawal symptoms and that they can kill me?"
"I wasn't aware that you know such big words. And that is not a fact. The stuff you're using, which I believe is cocaine, doesn't make the addiction physical so you won't be having any withdrawal symptoms that can kill you. Only symptoms you'll be having are mental and that can take couple of days before you get them, if you get them at all."
"How'd you know-"
"It's my question. What's your relationship with that Danny or what his name was?"
"Why'd you care?"
"Just answer the question, damn it."
"Well… We're friends. Now, my turn. How do you know so much about cocaine?"
"My…" Draco paused. He was supposed to tell the truth. But would Harry ever know if he lied? "My mother uses it. I found out about it maybe a year ago and I wanted to know everything about it. Have you had sex with him?"
"With who?"
"Weasley of course. Danny, you idiot."
"Oh. Well…" Harry hesitated. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"
I can't relate
To a happy state
Feeling the blood run inside
"Harry, isn't it pretty obvious that we're not going to talk about these things ever again with anyone?"
"Right. Well, yes, I have. Why do you care about what I've done with Danny?"
"I don't. I just wanna know."
"You're supposed to tell the truth."
"Then don't ask me questions like that!"
"So you can tell me about your mom using drugs but you can't tell me why you're so interested in my sex life?"
Draco sighed. "Fine. I just wanna know what's going on between you two."
"Are you jealous?"
"It's my question, you ass."
"Sorry, Ice Prince. Shoot."
"Okay, don't call me Ice Prince."
"Don't call me Golden Boy."
"Deal. What do you want?"
Why won't you die
Your blood in mine
We'll be fine
Then your body will be mine
"You." Harry slammed his hand on his mouth. Did he say that out loud? "I mean, I- I want you to let me out of here."
"Liar."
"Am not. I really want you to let me out."
"I know that. But that's not what you first meant."
"Well, true, but- What the hell, yes, I want you, okay? I've wanted you ever since the day you found out I'm gay!" Harry took a deep breath. Yes, he definitely said it out loud. Draco didn't reply to this. They both stayed silent for a long time.
An hour later Draco spoke again: "Are you aware of the fact that the door hasn't been locked for a half an hour?" There was silence. Then Draco felt the door open behind him and he fell on the floor. Harry stood right next to his head.
Why is everything so fucking hard for me
Keep me down to what you think I should be
Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry
Keep on trying, I'm not dying so easily
(I will not die)
Why is everything so fucking hard for me
(I will not die)
Why is everything so fucking hard for me
(I will not die)
"You son of a bitch."
"Nice to see you too."
"You just couldn't ask that question half an hour ago?"
"No. You weren't ready yet."
"And now I was?"
"I don't know. Are you?"
"Depends what makes me ready."
"Are you gonna get more?"
Harry sat next to Draco's head. "No. But if I'm a pain in the ass, you can only blame yourself."
Why won't you die
Your blood in mine
We'll be fine
Then your body will be mine
A/N: Now, you didn't read the author's note above before reading the story, please read it before reviewing. But do review. Please. I'm begging you.
Reviews:
El-Gilliath: That's not a bad idea at all. We'll see. DestinyEntwinements Cookies! Yay! DemonRogue: Like Harry said, "never trust an addict". SilentWater13: I know. You guys just have to remember that the story doesn't end here. Anything can happen. winter tears: Yeah, probably there will. I don't really have the story figured out so anything can happen. I only know what's going to happen on January 1st (when they go back to Hogwarts) and after that. Before that, I have no idea. ExWonder: I got the title from "Girl, Interrupted" but all the other similarities, if there is any,are accidents, 'cause I've never seen the movie "Girl, Interrupted". Ki'le: I'm just going with the flow for a while. I already explained this to winter tears so look above. And you bet correct. I mean, who doesn't wish they owned Harry and Draco? J.K. Rowling, because she does own them. Lucky bitch. xxxbloodiedup: No, that wouldn't be wrong at all ;) btw, Harry and Draco are still in the UK in this fic. Just to let you know. Ausha Black: I have an excuse for that! And all the grammar mistakes I make! You want to hear? Ok, the thing is that English isn't my native tongue so I make mistakes because I've only studied it like 6 years. And now you're going to say that you didn't mean grammar. Well, I'm sticking with the same excuse. jmmil13: Yes, I agree, and I'm planning on doing so. iluvdanrad: Now I'm going to pretend that I know what hitching means (I'm too lazy to go get the dictionary andmy friend who is supposed to know everything, doesn't know either) and say that I'm not telling what I'm planning.
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