Warning(s): Yay! Double digits at last. Warnings will include but aren't limited to language, Relena-bashing though I did go an entire chapter without mentioning her, shounen-ai (It'll come eventually), oddness , and Gundams and characters significantly out of character.
Disclaimer: This is an uber-special tenth chapter disclaimer! Celebrate that I actually had enough patience to get it this far! It originally started out as a half-brained idea about the Gundams talking and I'm just now getting to it. Now I can't see the end. Oh yeah, I don't own Gundam Wing and I'm sure the people who do would report me to the men in white coats if they ever read PoM.
Parabola of Mystery
Chapter Ten
The next morning they were ready to leave in record time. That is, it took them longer then ever before to get their things in order and to come up with a plan. They decided it would be easiest to take the carries to a discreet location and then go to the base in their Gundams. Heero and Trowa would start the initial distraction while the other three would go right up to the base and infiltrate to get to the 'leader'. Duo still constantly voiced the fact that he couldn't believe it was Scar, but that's what the mission had said and when the mission speaks they are all bound to listen.
The five pilots crept down, (well Duo crept, the others walked), to the hangar where it was strangely and uncomfortably silent.
Wufei was the first to approach his Gundam. True to his word, he had come to see Nataku the day before but he left soon after surmising that her machinery was still okay. It was just too hard to listen to their bickering, the loudest usually being from her. He sat inside the cockpit and as he touched the control panel, the screens came to life.
"So he's back. You said we had a mission today."
"Yes, Nataku. That's what we're preparing for."
Over at Wing, Heero didn't hesitate to bring his mobile suit to life. He heard a sort of yawning before the lights flickered on. Trowa and Quatre didn't have any trouble either. Thankfully, their mobile suits didn't say much. It was probably too early for Sandrock to say anything.
"Mornings are evil…that's why I love them. Mwah. Let us go kill some adorable bunnies!"
Or perhaps not. Last but not least, Duo touched the controls for Deathscythe with tangible fear. They didn't come on. He nudged them again to no avail. He sighed and hit the monitor.
"Hey Deathscythe now's not the time for beauty sleep."
The light was slow to come on but it finally did.
"I'm up? Aww I was having a good dream too, it was about these five guys being kind of mad at me and then this mean lady kept yelling until I went to sleep."
"Yeah, that happened yesterday. That was us and the crabby bitch was Nataku."
"YOU WANT TO COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT?"
"She has very good hearing," Death whispered loudly.
Duo was about to answer but the other four pilots showed up on his screen.
"I'll be in carrier one," Heero said.
"I'll take two," Quatre chimed.
"One," said Trowa
"I'll be in two then," Wufei snapped.
"…I guess that leaves three for me," Duo said with mock excitement. He cut off the other screens and manned the controls.
"Insensitive morons. They just don't want to be in the same carrier as…"
"Who? Mrs. Mean lady?"
"Nevermind. Just keep moving."
They loaded the carriers with the least amount of chatter from the Gundams. Nataku was certainly nicer, but only marginally so, when it was confirmed that she wasn't going to be riding next to Deathscythe.
They were soon off, with Heero's carrier naturally in the lead. He jerked the controls upward and brought up a map to plan the course from the air. Despite the fact that he was a religious planner (the mission), he left routes until he was in the air. Their carrier was fairly quiet except for Wing's few failed attempts to make conversation with the other Gundam.
"So what do you think of the mission? I haven't heard anything about it…"
"…"
"It's rare that we have this much silence. The other three idiots love talking about useless shit."
"…."
"Okay I get your point. Silence is good but it wouldn't kill you to say something every once in awhile."
"…"
"Fine. Be that way."
The second carrier's pilots didn't speak too often as they followed but there was more then enough noise in the back.
"HAHAAHAHA then I shall take over the world and destroy parts of it at my discretion! I will start with all the cute bunnies and then move to eradicate Santa Claus! Then everyone seventeen and up will be drafted for my army of evil!"
"Would you shut up?"
"NO! The simple fact that I keep talking means that I am getting on your nerves which is another part of my evil plan! MWHAHAHAH."
"Seriously. If you don't stop I'll self-detonate right here and your evil plans will go undone."
"…You have a promising career in evil too."
"Hmm. Still better then Deathscythe."
Carrier number three was probably the loudest of them all as Deathscythe took the opportunity to get closer to his pilot. He would have tried physically if he could ever figure out independent movement and the dead would walk before he would ever get that on his own.
"So Deathscythe, what do you want to talk about?"
Duo sighed. "Duo."
"What?"
"I'm Duo. You're Deathscythe."
"Oooooh. That's right. I'm Duo."
"Deathscythe!"
"What?"
"Forget it. What did you want to say?"
"I wanted to ask what you wanted to talk about."
"Hmmm…how long have you been like this?"
"Been like what?"
"…Nevermind."
"Are you my friend?"
"I'm your pilot."
Now he sounded whiney, "but I want you to be my friend. My best friend is Nataku but she's not here right now."
Duo broke out laughing. "You seriously think that Nataku's your best friend? I don't think I've seen a machine hate another so much."
"…We're good friends. That's why she's always talking to me and helping me know things."
"What things?"
"That I should give all the people we're going to meet today hugs!"
"People? We're going into battle."
"Yeah, all the other suits."
Duo just smiled and kept back another laugh. "How about we sing something?"
"Ohh I love singing. I'm a great singer. Let's sing the Row Row song."
"…Okay."
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It was sometime later that they arrived at the drop off point. Four of the five pilots had found out the hard way that Duo and Death had been singing everything from 'The Row-Row song' to show tunes as the Gundam's comm. system was mysteriously stuck on broadcast and they couldn't get the carriers to stop picking it up. Need it be mentioned that as long as their comm. systems were tied up with the pair's song, they couldn't get any massages of "For the love of GOD STOP!" thorough. Thus the end of the flight couldn't come fast enough.
Wufei turned off the carrier as soon as they had landed and then debated massaging his ears. For some unexplained reason, it had gotten twice as loud when they were over the ocean. He kept his hands down and stood to go to his Gundam. It wouldn't be very masculine to whine and hold his aching ears. Besides, Quatre hadn't done it so it was out of the question.
"Thanks for finally turning that shit off. Don't tell me the reason we were listening was because you actually liked it?" Nataku asked as he entered the cargo bay.
"My ears are bleeding. Don't even joke Nataku," Wufei replied as he leapt up to stick his head into the cockpit.
"I swear I'll figure out how to kill that scythe-wielding fu-"
"In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he caaaaaaaaame."
"-ck."
Wufei smiled, though it was more a grimace. "Sorry, I have to get into contact with Maxwell now that we've touched down." They could only hear since the system seemed to be malfunctioning. Wufei and Quatre worked to restore it while they conversed.
"Death," Nataku said.
"Yes. Death to all. The first phase of my evil plan is already in motion. Soon the missiles will be set to launch on all the McDonalds of the world! Mwhahahaha."
"I don't want to ask because I don't really care but…why McDonalds?"
"That's where ninety-nine percent of humans under fifteen get their food."
"You're really giving Death-shit a run for his money."
"Stop bickering," Quatre said routinely as he messed with Sandrock's controls.
Wufei tapped on the panel to try and make some conflicting noise on the other end.
"Maxwell, get off your lazy ass and answer. I'd rather be disemboweled then listen to your Gundam sing any longer."
"While you're at it, Maxwell's pretty damn tone deaf too."
"Ohh thanks. I love getting bowels,"Deathscythe said.
"I'm here…wait. You could hear us?" Duo asked.
"Regrettably so," Wufei snapped.
"We need to get in position at 1800 hours," Quatre explained.
"What time?"
"1800 hours," Wufei repeated.
"Uh…yeah what time is that again?"
"What? You don't know military time? How'd you ever make the cut to be a Gundam pilot? Was everyone on your colony disabled or old?" Wufei agonized.
"Well I used to have this awesome watch that had both military and real time. I think it got confiscated when I was captured by the Cowards. Those guys had relatively sticky fingers and that's not just figurative. I've never been good at military time, so sue me."
"I'd do more then that," Nataku interjected.
"Shut up, Altron," Duo snapped.
"Nataku, bitch."
"You said it."
"Ohh Nataku's there? Tell her I said hi!" Death added.
"How about we do the mission without them?"
"Just SHUT THE HELL UP!" Quatre bellowed as normal communication was restored. Wufei and Duo's vids came up so they could stare effectively. Both of them looked quite shocked at his little outburst and Quatre suddenly felt self-conscious. He averted his eyes.
"Uh…sorry. It's bad enough when there are only two of you. I do lose it sometimes too."
"You blowing up colonies rings a bell," Duo said.
"Silence, imbecile! That was a brilliant ploy, if only I had been there to choose the best targets," Sandrock commented.
"We're wasting time. I'd like to be at the position at 1600 hours or four for those of you who can't do simple math," Wufei said through clenched teeth.
"I still say we leave them here," Nataku droned.
"Or better yet, blow them up," Sandrock said.
"…Okay, maybe you're not so bad after all."
"Are we throwing a party?"
"I'm turning you off now," Duo said and his feed went silent.
"See you there…I guess," Quatre sighed.
----------
As soon as the show tunes stopped Trowa and Heero had an easy time getting over to the base in question. They were in a more rural section of the UK which led them to think that the Coward's base would be well hidden but it wasn't. There was even a large replica of their symbol painted on the front of the five-story building and a sign reading 'secret base' mounted with great clarity. At least it was located in the middle of nowhere.
They were ready to distract at 1700 hours (five o'clock for those of us like Duo). All they had to do was stand just outside of patrol range and wait for the others to contact them so the mission could get underway. They were pretty visible since there wasn't much in the way of trees but they figured it wouldn't be too big a loss to be seen ahead of time. Good fear tactic.
"I hope they put up a decent fight," Heero said as he leaned back to wait. Both of their Gundams hadn't said much, they seemed to understand that it was a situation that called for stealth (relatively speaking). In hindsight, the idea to have the two of them be the decoys was brilliant, strategically, since the other three could barely keep their…speakers shut.
"Hmm considering the military prowess they showed at Sorolaff, I highly doubt it. The fact that they even captured some diplomats speaks more for the men's lack of security rather then any coordination on the part of the Cowards," Trowa replied.
"What should you expect? They do admit it in their name," Heero said.
They nodded, in complete agreement, and the line was perfectly quiet. Anyone paired with Trowa, save Duo and Quatre, tended to fall into a natural sort of silence when things weren't terribly busy. Heero actually admired, as much as he was capable, Trowa's uncanny ability to only initiate conversation when he had something critical to say.
"I'm here to warn you. The enemy is coming!" Rang out Deathscythe's stupidly happy voice.
"The enemy is not coming. We're ready for them to get the enemy to 'come out' as in leaving the base," Duo said.
"That's our cue," Heero said. He soon disconnected from Duo's Gundam.
Trowa nodded and his attention was fully diverted to the battle at hand. His hands tightened on the controls.
"Come on, Heavyarms."
The Gundam crouched and then broke out into a run, gatling gun ready for action. Sirens suddenly sounded, oddly enough they made a melody that sounded suspiciously like 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead'. Aries were the first out and Heavyarms stopped to take them out from his far position. Trowa put on his radar and found that the stationed Leo unit was heading back. He then noticed that the blip identified as 01 back where they started. That was odd.
"Heero, what are you waiting for?"
There was no answer. Trowa turned to face the other Gundam as he took out two Aries in a row.
"Hello? We have a job to do."
He turned his head as an Aries fired off several missiles. They soared past him, striking Wing right in the chest. Trowa's eyes widened slightly as the mobile suit toppled right onto its back. There was still silence even though they were still supposed to have the link up.
"Heero! Great."
So what do you think? So ends the tenth chapter and my brain is officially dead. I realized while writing this chapter that I effectively doubled my character load with the Gundams. That's why I have their speech in italics even though it's a little annoying doing it every time. I hope it's not too confusing to tell who's speaking. Anyway, thanks for reading and tune in for the next installment of the emotionally-disturbed G-boys and their personality-challenged Gundams.
Oh and on another note, just in case anyone wanted to comment anonymously, I've enabled such reviews. I didn't even know there was an option…