Unlikely Heroes

An alternate look on the Prophecies Universe

If it was not for the fact that superheroes have powers and skills beyond the norm, if not for the fact that they save lives and property every time they go to work, if not for the fact that they are truly heroes…they would be laughingstock.

Tights-wearing idealists, often with freakish powers. People who hide behind masks. People who try and balance the normal and fantastic. People who throw out quick quips while they battle. People taken from the frames of the most ridiculous action movies known to man.

How is it that they are not laughed at by all? It's obvious that the villains they fight often find them amusing. It is merely the fact that they do so much good that lets them stand up as heroes, and rightfully so. Of course…some heroes are just too ridiculous to not provoke laughter, even if their skills are not in question…

The successful crooks laughed happily as they stopped in a dark alley. The heist had gone off perfectly, the Titans and cops distracted by the assault of some super-powered threat on the other side of town. That and the fear that so paralyzed people when any weapon was waved at them let a bunch of high school kids make off with quite a chunk of change. It was almost a pity, they thought, that their names would never find its way into history.

So they thought. But then, they also thought they had gotten away. A flap of a cape added itself to the ambient noise of the night, and a shadow fell across them, just before the alley lit up as if a magnesium flare went off in it. The next few seconds were a confused cacophony of thumps and yells that ended with the cape-wearer standing in a ring of the crooks. The only one still conscious looked up groggily at a person wearing a band uniform. "A bandie? What the…"

"All a matter of general effect, jocko." The uniformed vigilante's foot lashed out, robbing the consciousness of the last of the crooks.

"So…" said Raven dryly as the other Titans sat stunned by Robin's proclamation, outside of the happily humming Starfire, insulated by her incomplete understanding of Earth's culture. "You're saying that some band nerd jumped those fools and beat them into the ground before leaving them trussed up for the police?"

Robin nodded. "That's what the crooks claim."

Raven looked as if she was going to say something else when Beast Boy and Cyborg snapped out of their disbelieving funk. The ensuing tsunami of sound, mostly laughter, ruffled hair and clothing, as well as making Starfire float involuntarily back. The alien blinked and cocked her head to the side. "Friends…I do not understand. What is so funny about a 'band nerd'…" she looked to Raven for confirmation that she had gotten the term right, receiving a nod, "…beating up a group of crooks? Should we not be rejoicing that we have a new ally in our fight? If so, I shall prepare a feast of celebration!" She looked excited by the prospect.

Cyborg and BB started shaking their heads vigorously. Cy spoke first. "Naw Star, looks like this guy or gal don't want to be associated with us. Besides…a bandie?" He shook his head again. "I'm sorry, but there's no way I can see that!"

Robin had a serious look on his face as he interrupted, cutting BB off. "Absurd or not, we've got someone else in the city who isn't the cops taking down bad guys. We've got to know more about this. Even if they do go around in a marching band uniform…" He shook his head. "They're also covering their tracks. Little evidence was found at the scene, certainly not enough to give us any real clues."

"It sounds like they value their privacy," observed Raven dryly. "I assume this won't be entering our decision on this, however."

"It's a matter of either their safety or the safety of the city, perhaps both," affirmed Robin. "You're correct. We won't be considering their seeming wish for privacy…as far as finding out who they are."

"Uh…Robin?" asked BB. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying…well, let's put it this way. Anyone play an instrument?"

Raven gave a slight grimace, remembering a flute that lay neglected in her room. I just know I'm going to regret this…

Hair dyed black and with a false layer of skin covering her Anja chakra stone, Raven looked at Jump City High with not a small bit of trepidation. Undercover work was not her forte, but Robin didn't play an instrument, and Cyborg…he had been a star FOOTBALL player when he was still fully flesh. He wouldn't exactly fit into the marching band. At least the faculty would be supporting her cover story. The excuse that Raven would be getting more of a traditional education that she had gained on Azarath incognito had secured their almost eager cooperation…that assistant principle had been kind of scary.

They had even insisted on assigning her a guide for a few days, like she was some idiot who couldn't think for herself. She didn't believe for one second that that assistant principle would insist so heavily on that stipulation just because 'every transfer got one'. No, that woman was intentionally torturing her.

So here she was, wearing unfamiliar clothing, her hair not its true color nor in her accustomed style, and she was going to be 'taught' a great deal she already knew, guided around the building by some hormonal idiot.

"Are you Rachel Roth?" asked a voice from behind Raven.

'Rachel' turned to face a young blonde woman. "Yes," she answered relatively curtly.

"I'm Sarah Howell. I got assigned to the completely unnecessary job of guiding you around." She gave a bit of a grin. "I'd let you go around by yourself, but the old Horrible Hartwell would have an excuse to tongue-lash the both of us, and we don't want that, now do we?"

Raven's lips curled up on one side. "No. I guess we don't."

"You see the light!" exclaimed Sarah sarcastically. "Now, what's your first class?"

"AP Chemistry," replied Rachel, starting to like the blonde already.

Sarah cackled. "You picked an interesting way to start your day."

"What precisely am I missing here?"

"You'll see!" Raven glowered at the blonde. Apparently she took some pleasure in the arts of humorous torture, much like BB.

"So two atoms are walking down the street. One trips and fall, then starts looking for something on the ground. The second one asks the first 'What's wrong?' The first one says. 'I just lost an electron.' 'Are you sure?' 'Yes, I'm positive!'"

Raven just looked on in amazement at the bad science pun that had escaped from the teacher's throat, her look of amazement joined by a number of pained groans. It was obvious that the teacher in this class was a veritable font of bad puns.

"Oh come on, crew, it wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Felz Master Felz," replied one slender teenager with tousled brown hair and storm blue eyes along with a strong Japanese accent, even though his features were Caucasian, "That one is just too old to be very punny anymore."

More groans.

Sarah appeared to meet 'Rachel' outside the chem room's door with a big grin on her face. "So?"

Rachel pointed a pale finger at her face, at a loss for words. The accented voice that had replied to the teacher's question came from behind her. "Looks like someone doesn't appreciate the lowest form of humor, no?"

Sarah laughed. "Guess not, Selais. Rachel Roth, meet Ker Selais, master of the art of general oddity."

Raven's lavender eyes looked him up and down. He was attractive, that no one was denying, but he had a strange feeling around him. "Charmed."

He gave a roguish smile. "I've got a feeling the pleasure really is all mine, right?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Mostly yours, anyway. You enjoy torturing people with bad puns?"

"Kinda. I find it's more interesting than the traditional thumbscrews and iron maiden route." He looked at the hall's flow "Yeesh, I've got to be going. Ja na, you two." He entered the flow of people in the hall as if he was dancing, and was quickly lost in the middle of the torrent.

"There goes one truly atypical guy," said Sarah.

Raven could only nod in assent.

By the beginning of last bell, Raven was both feeling extremely worn out and also a little intrigued by the idea that she would be here for a while. It was more than a bit different from the life she knew, but it wasn't entirely a bad thing. Some things, yes. Other things, no. "So, where is my last torture session of the day?" deadpanned 'Rachel' to Sarah.

The blonde didn't answer, doing her level best to suppress an ear-to-ear grin. Perhaps she should have stacked the playing field in her favor, because she wasn't doing a very good job. "You'll see…" she said in what seemed to Raven to be an even more ominous tone than that in which she had said that before chemistry.

Opening the door to the room, Raven took in the sight of the band getting their instruments ready. "Oh." Walking to the instrument locker that had been assigned to her, she pulled out her flute and started assembling it. This accomplished, she looked around for some clue as to what she should do.

"Welcome to the cult," said Sarah. "The anointing with goat blood and wild orgies will come later." Raven shuddered in spite of herself. She had a little too much history with cults to joke about them. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice.

Hoping to find something to take her mind off of the unpleasant thoughts stirred up by Sarah's joke, Raven looked about the room. She only recognized one face…the rather quirky Ker. It seemed that he was demonstrating a number of sword swings with his trumpet to another trumpet player that stood next to him. The person she was looking for was said to have used a color guard saber…

A/N: A little something I cooked up in a moment of boredom. Tell me what you think, and I just might continue it.