A/N: ATTENTION SHIPPERS! Sorry, I always wanted to do that. Anyway, there's a particularly tough part in this chapter that I'm sure you won't like. Please bare with me, I'm one of you. I just couldn't help myself from writing it.
"I still can't believe he kissed her!" Mac scrubbed the pan with a furious intensity.
"What do you care Mac, it's not like you're dating him." Jim stood at the sink next to and playfully bumped her with his hips forcing as small smile to come to her face.
"That's not the point Jim, we were on an investigation. We were investigating his mentor and he still couldn't keep his brain activity above his belt-line." Mac stopped scrubbing to look out the window behind the sink.
"Was justice done in the case?" Jim's question alone told Mac that he didn't understand the point.
"Yes, Harm was able to prove that the flight instructor was unfit for flight status." Mac acquiesced.
"Can you prove he kissed her, it's entirely possible that she kissed him? It sometimes happens with younger women and men in positions of authority." He immediately went to retract his statement. "Mac I did not mean that in the way it sounded."
"So you're not only defending him, you're throwing my past back at me? What the hell kind of friend are you?" She turned away from the sink and started toward the door.
"Mac listen to me; I was not trying to talk about John, I think everyone involved in that situation has tried to put it behind them." He turned toward her as she was going to get her coat. The sight of a Recon Marine Colonel with dish soap bubbles covering his hands made her smile if not quite laugh.
"Alright, if you weren't talking about John just who were you talking about?" Mac loved this; she'd managed to catch up Harm a few times last week, tripping up Jim right now would just be icing on the cake.
"General statement. It's true though, we're both lawyers, how many times could the two of us think of where a junior officer has had a crush on her superior? The atmosphere is conducive to that kind of romanticism, the older man is battle-hardened, he has authority and wisdom and often he also has a sort of physical quality that's been built up by twenty years of fit-reps." He smiled as she threw down her coat and came and sat next to him on the couch.
"Well I wouldn't blame it all on the women, Colonel. You males are pretty inviting with keeping the advances coming." Mac smiled and leaned her head on one hand.
"Single men are attention whores. If a woman shows them the slightest bit of attention a single man will do anything to clamour for more." Jim smiled as he got off the couch and walked back to the sink. Mac watched him stand at the sink, he was wearing an old Beatles long sleeve t-shirt that he used to play baseball in when they were both in Arizona. Only he'd been a scrawny lieutenant than, those twenty years of fit-reps had certainly filled him out.
"You're a single man now you know, you sure you should be so self-deprecating?" Mac smiled as she watched over the back of the couch.
"I'm a grieving man; I haven't been a single man since I was twelve." He gave a weak smile as he looked back at her.
"You're a strong man, I don't know many people who could've made it through what you've gone through in the last year and wouldn't have weekly therapy sessions." She looked understanding.
"Thanks Mac, you just take it one day at a time and realize that it's a long process. It's been fourteen months but I still feel it every time I look at my son, or at Gabbs. People are like wounds Mac, the ones that don't really impact you leave scabs for a small period of time before falling away, the ones that really impact you leave scars that you'll never get rid of." She saw him withdraw his hands from the water and brace himself on the counter.
"How much of your heart have you got left?" She was concerned; there were times recently when her friend sounded so defeated. He looked over his shoulder at her and couldn't shake the broken expression on his face.
"Have you ever felt hollow Mac?" He turned to face her and walked back over to the couch. She saw the pain that was still in his eyes, she had wanted to help him, she thought he'd been doing better in the last few weeks he'd been at JAG.
"Once or twice, it's got to be the worst feeling in the world. It's that one where you stand there and you feel gutted, like someone's ripped your soul from your body." She looked empathetically into his eyes and placed a hand on his knee.
"Yeah, I felt that way for a long time. Until I got here, you started helping me find me again. Harm, turned out to be one of the best guys I've ever served with or met in my life, he's one hell of a friend. Bud, Harriet and even the Admiral have all helped in their own little ways. But you, you Mac, started it all, you've helped more than anyone else." The two of them met in a hug. "Thank you Mac."
"Someone's got to be there for you Marine. I just can't get over the fact that I wasn't there earlier." She was repressing tears.
"You had no way of knowing, don't torture yourself over it. You've done more than anyone else." As the two pulled out of the hug they sat there looking each other in the eye, trying to figure out exactly what there was, what was happening in the apartment that night, when David came walking out of his room.
"Daddy! You said you'd never wear that shirt again! That was mommy's favourite." The young man looked indignantly at his father as he sat there on the couch.
"Sorry buddy, laundry day, guess this was the only thing in the closet that still fit and even it's kind of small." He looked down; the shirt had ripped along the seams in shoulder and across the side, not to mention that the growth of his shoulders since he first got it meant that the shirt barely came down over his abs. He saw that his son wasn't bending; he did not want his dad wearing the shirt that his mom used to love his dad wearing. Jim took the shirt off and handed it to his son. "You happy now sport?"
David took the shirt his father handed him and threw it in the garbage under the sink. "There, now happy." The young man tossed his father an unapologetic smile before walking back into his room. Mac stifled a laugh before returning to that conversation.
"What's so funny there Miss Marine?" Jim looked over at her with an amused grin.
"A few things actually. First of all, your son has you wrapped around his finger. Secondly, that kid is getting far too smart for his own good. Third, the last time you took that shirt off in front of me was when you and Matt played the MPs for the championship back in Yuma, remember?" Mac's smiled was every bit as unapologetic as David's had been but for different reasons. She was scanning his torso, there were things there she didn't remember from the old days in Arizona, scars, wounds that had left there mark. "Go put a shirt on Marine!"
"What? You never used to mind when I walked around like this during baseball season." He laughed as he walked over to his closet.
"Yeah but you were all scrawny then. From what I remember I can state that you still can't tan worth a darn, Colonel." Mac smiled as she slapped him across the bare back.
"Oh so it was fine for me to walk around without a shirt when I had no real muscle mass and was tall and gawky. Now that I've been working out for twenty years I have to put a shirt on. Trying to tell me something Mac? Am I going to have to restrain you?" He laughed as he pulled another shirt over his head.
"Yeah, nice pecks Colonel." She laughed as he took his place on the couch next to her. "Jim, what do you think of Dalton Lowne?"
"Professionally, I think he stands for everything that I as a military lawyer should rightfully hate. I read an article he published in a legal journal a few months back. Personally, having run into him at a function I attended in Washington a few years back, I believe he's the American equivalent of Korean Hemmhoragic Fever. Why do you ask?" Jim's grin was wide and his shoulders shook as he laughed.
"He asked me out on a date." Mac stated as she looked into his eyes awaiting the reaction. A coughing and choking Marine Colonel was one reaction she had anticipated and got.
"You can do better Mac, much better." His response was understated but direct; Jim was always able to speak her mind with her. He was never forceful, he was just honest.
"Yeah? Like who, Harm?" She looked into his eyes, Harm had told her that he and Jim talked about her, maybe she could find out exactly what about.
"You seem kind of hung up on him, so yeah, I' d say Harm would be a great choice for you." Jim had a self-satisfied wise smile on his face.
"What about you?" Her eyes looked into his but he got evasive and looked away.
"Me? Harm would be a terrible choice for me. I'd have to give up my career in the Marines." He laughed as he looked back her. "Besides, the man is on a date with my daughter right now, it would make things really awkward."
"Jim don't joke, we were about to kiss before David came in, at least I think we were about to." She was moving toward something, but something stronger in her gut told her it was a mistake.
"We were." He looked at her, disappointed, not in her but in himself. "It would have been a kiss of gratitude, just like the last one, Mac." They both thought of the last one, what it was that night that he had saved her.
"That's all we'll ever share isn't it, the ability to help save one another?" Her eyes were understanding.
"Yeah, but in this world of ours, it's not a bad thing to share with a person. Besides, I know Gabbs, men are wild impulses to her, she'll get bored of Harm eventually and go after someone her own age, probably a Marine. You won't have to wait long to get what you want Mac." He smiled at her.
"Thanks for tonight, Jim." She got up from the couch and got her coat.
"No problem Mac, just remember, Harm's got the reins at the office tomorrow, keep him grounded." He shot her a friendly smile.
"I still can't believe you're going golfing with the Admiral, the SECNAV and the Deputy Chief of Naval Operations." Mac shot back as she opened the door.
"I know it sucks, Marines hate losing, but if I want future promotions I'm going to have to do just that tomorrow. 'Night Marine." He watched as Mac slipped out the door.
"Night Jim." She closed the door behind her.
The next day came fast and furious over both JAG headquarters and the foursome out on the golf course. "AJ said you were a good golfer, Colonel. So far I've got you beat by five strokes." Secretary Nelson was a pain in the ass. "Not to mention the fact that I've out-driven you on every hole." He was really pouring salt in the Marine's wounds.
"Must be your lucky day, sir." Jim replied as Admiral Chegwidden shot him a look.
"Maybe or maybe the Admiral just over-hyped you Colonel." With that the Secretary launched a two-hundred yard drive off to the left side of the fairway. Admirals Chegwidden and Clancy sent similar shots into the fairway before the Colonel stepped up to address his ball. He brought his driver back in a mighty backswing before following through and crushing the ball a stunning two hundred ninety-one yards.
"Looks like the luck is shifting Mr. Secretary." Jim said with a smug look of satisfaction on his face. Just as he was about to pile into the golf-cart next to the SECNAV his cell-phone rang. "Grant."
"Sir, this is Lieutenant Roberts, the Commander told me to call you, he said the DC police are down here pushing to take custody of a suspect who is currently in our custody." Bud's mouth was running a mile a minute.
"Alright, you want me to put the Admiral on, as JAG this is really more his purview." Jim handed the Admiral the phone.
"Chegwidden…uh huh….uh huh...uh huh. Lieutenant, you the Commander and the Major sit tight, reinforcement is on the way." The Admiral clicked the phone off and lowered his voice. "There's a situation with a civilian, former Marine, murder suspect at JAG HQ. He's spinning Rabb some yarn about having been in the same POW camp as Harm's father, the place was Dong Ha I believe. Either you or I are going to have to leave this game and go back and help them. If you were the JAG what would you do?"
"Well sir, I would head back to JAG headquarters and stand up for JAG jurisdiction rather than have a DC cop piss on our rug." The Marine colonel had his iron jaw locked and an intimidating expression fixed on his face.
"That's why you'll make a hell of a JAG someday, now haul ass Marine!" The Admiral gave him a friendly slug on the shoulder as the Marine jogged up the ninth fairway back to the parking lot and his car.
Back at JAG HQ Harm was in his office with Roscoe Martin, Bud stood outside the office trying to keep Detective Coster at by while Harm tried to get information from him. Mac was sitting in her office with some man in a suit. As Colonel Grant rushed into the building he was tightening the belt that came over his uniform jacket.
"Colonel, sir!" Bud ran toward him, Coster following on the young lieutenant's heels.
"Yes Lieutenant, I'm here, now what's all the hubbub?" Jim stood ramrod straight in front of the detective, affording Coster the opportunity to look him square in the chin.
"Sir, the detective here has been rather insistent that he take Mr. Martin, that is, the man who's in Commander Rabb's office, into the custody of the DC Police." Bud had been trying to stall with some success but Coster was growing insistent.
"Is this true detective?" The Colonel had fixed a hard glare on the detective in front of him. Coster merely nodded. "I'll go see what's keeping Commander Rabb." Colonel Grant turned toward the Harm's office; he opened the door to see Harm deep in conversation with the man whom Jim could only assume was the suspect in question. Harm's attention shifted momentarily as his superior officer entered the room. "Harm, sorry to interrupt, but that detective's out here pushing to get him. How much time you need?"
"How much can you get me?" Harm stood in front of his acting-commander and friend with a lowered voice.
"I'll bet I can get Coster out of here at least long enough for him to have to come back with a federal court order. That should take about two hours, Harm I can't promise much more." He gave his friend a pat on the shoulder.
"Thanks Jim, I'll get back to it." The two men exchanged nods before Harm went back to Roscoe and Jim left the office. Coster went walking toward the door but Jim stuck out his hand to prevent Coster from going any further.
"Is my suspect ready?" Coster asked as the Marine's arm stopped him dead in his tracks.
"No, he remains in the custody of the Judge Advocate General of the United States Navy until I give you further notice." Jim's tone was level and calm.
"Fine than Colonel I have no choice but to charge you with obstruction of justice. You can make this easier on yourself by just coming with me or I can cuff you." Coster looked him right in the eye but nothing could have prepared him for what came next.
"Listen to me you little parasite of a man! Unless you can come back here with my arrest warrant and an order from a federal judge that tells me I have to release that suspect into your custody, neither of us is leaving this building. Now outside of that you have two options, you can either bring the Secretary of the Navy or Jesus Christ down here to tell me I have to let that man out of this building, aside from that you don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting him. YOU READ ME DETECTIVE!" A very red-faced and stubborn Marine stood toe-to-toe with the police force veteran.
"Why don't I take the detective out to the courtyard for a more civilized conversation and see if there's anything the military can do for him while we finish up our investigation, Colonel?" Mac to the rescue.
"Sounds like a dandy idea Major, sorry I didn't think of it. Don't worry I'll ensure the client in your office doesn't get restless." Mac's look of surprise and hesitance was enough to tell the Colonel not to push the situation. "Then again, I'm sure he'll be fine on his own." Jim tossed her a knowing look that said 'I'm sure I'll hear all about this later.'
Harm and Bud took Roscoe off to one of the courtroom's while Mac kept Coster busy. Harm returned from the courtroom a little while later after Coster and Roscoe had left the company of our friendly neighbourhood JAG officer. Harm entered his office, Bud hot on his tails. He had to let off some steam, the whole day had built up around him, and he was like a powder keg raring to set him off.
"Sir?" Bud looked confusedly up at his mentor. Harm was just leaning on the side of his window looking down into the JAG courtyard where Mac was standing with Dalton. As he looked out the window he saw his partner, his best friend, his… those were the only words he could think of, the only words that fit right now, no matter how much he wanted her to be more, she wasn't yet. But what she was, was kissing Dalton Lowne.
"FUCK!" Harm picked up the three-hole punch from his desk and hurled it against an opposing wall causing Bud to duck. The obscenity and the following crash were heard through out the office. Action in the bullpen ground to halt, Bud's worried confusion matched up perfectly in reaction to Harm's instant anger.
"Sir what was that all about?" Bud looked worried, he'd never seen the Commander this angry. Harm was hyperventilating, he'd never lost control that easily, but one week he and Mac are flirting pretty heavily and now…this. The now familiar sight of a surprised Marine colonel decorated Harm's doorway within the seconds following the crash.
"Harm, what in the Sam Hill did you think you were doing? How in the hell are either of us going to explain this to Chegwidden tomorrow. I don't imagine 'Commander Rabb, in a state of utter insanity tried to decapitate Lieutenant Roberts with a three-hole punch and in so doing blew a three foot hole in the wall of his office', is going to look good on an accident report. Now tell me Commander, was the wall preparing to launch an offensive or something." Jim's ire was building up to the point where he was red-faced and mere inches from Harm.
The very annoyed Marine waited for some sense of explanation but all that could be seen was Harm's eyes glancing over at. "Something out of the window seems to have caught your attention Commander, why don't I just take a look." Before he could be stopped Colonel Grant walked over to Harm's office window only to see the exact same sight that Harm had seen and a sudden wash of understanding came over him. "Commander Rabb, I understand that you would probably like to deal with this issue on your own and normally I would let you, but you decided to fly off the handle and damage government property I have to deal with you. Since Lieutenant Roberts was nearly guillotined, I believe he deserves to know why, but I will leave the Lieutenant's presence in the room up to you."
"I believe you're right sir, my behaviour nearly caused him an injury, he has a right to know why." Harm stood ramrod straight. This was a major screw-up, he'd nearly killed Bud and now he was forcing one of his friends to chew him out. To top it off he was going to have to delve into some none too pleasant truths.
"Lieutenant Roberts, first of all I believe that the Commander should apologize to you so that I don't bring him up on conduct unbecoming charges." Jim looked from Bud to Harm.
"Sorry Bud. Lost my head for a second, I wasn't trying to hurt you." Harm extended his hand for Bud to shake.
"It's alright sir, I mean something must have really rattled you to get you so angry." Bud shook Harm's hand.
"Good. Now Commander Rabb, I thought you and I had this discussion when we were working on the Hiller case? When you did nothing after that conversation I naturally assumed that you'd made a decision, when you started dating my daughter I assumed you'd moved past it. Why is it setting you off Commander?" The colonel's eyes were telling.
"I don't know sir, something inside me just wanted to get out." Harm was being truthful, some all-consuming passion engulfed him and in that one instant, with a primal scream and violent action, he lashed out. "And for the record sir, your daughter and I broke up last night. Something about me being Navy and too old."
" I figured something like that was bound to happen. Well that certainly explains something of what happened. Commander, don't let it happen again and buy Lieutenant Roberts a coffee every morning for the next month. I think that punishment is more than suitable." Jim smiled at the confused looks on Harm and Bud's faces.
"Sir what are we going to tell the Admiral about the wall?" Harm asked as the three of them decided to move out of the office.
"We'll tell him Coster did it." Jim didn't even look back as he told Harm.
"We're going to lie to the Admiral, sir?" Bud sounded really nervous.
"Harm was Coster getting on your case?" Jim asked and Harm nodded in reply. "Could his irritations have contributed to what happened in there?" Once again Harm nodded. "See Lieutenant, it's detective Coster's fault." Jim tapped the young man on the shoulder as the walked over toward Bud's desk.
"Sir, isn't that lying?" Bud was still slightly nervous.
"Think of it like creative editing of the truth, Bud." Harm said as he sat on the edge of Bud's desk.
"Like this Lieutenant." Jim brought out his most authoritative voice to address the entire bullpen. "Did any of you see Commander Rabb get rather aggressive in his office just than?" A few nods and 'yes sirs' could be heard from the crowd. Jim leaned into Bud and lowered his voice. "That was the unedited truth; this is going to be the edited version." Raising his voice to his authoritative level again. "I'm sorry folks, I couldn't hear you over my Eagles' wings, did any of you see Commander Rabb get rather aggressive in his office just than?" This time a loud chorus of 'no sir' was heard from the crowd in the bullpen. "Good! You all have permission to secure for the day." With a sarcastic smile Jim turned back to his colleagues.
"Sir isn't that Improper Command Influence?" Bud's face was somewhat disapproving.
"He didn't give them an order Bud, he just reminded them of something they might have forgotten." Harm smiled, that was how the game worked.
"Alright, I have to get back to the clubhouse at Royal Oaks to have dinner with the Admiral, the SECNAV and the DCNO. Commander, Lieutenant, I think you two have had stressful days, why don't you join us?" Jim hadn't brought anything to work so he didn't need to pick up anything from his office.
"Sounds great, any non dead animal served at that place?" Harm laughed as the three of them made their way out the glass doors.
"There's a salad bar. What about you Bud? You up to it?" Jim looked at his friend who seemed overjoyed at the offer.
"Thank you sir." Bud smiled as he and Harm stepped on to the elevator.
"Mattoni! Make sure the office is all squared away before you leave would you?" Jim shouted back through the doors as he jumped on to the elevator. The three of them walked out into the parking lot, Harm was tossed the keys to Jim's car and went to pull it around as Jim and Bud stood out in front on the steps. Mac and Dalton came walking over; pretty much hand-in-hand and Mac noticed the two familiar faces.
"Bud! Jim! This is Dalton Lowne." Mac seemed excited to make the introductions. "Dalton, this is Lieutenant j.g. Bud Roberts," the two men shook hands. "And this is Colonel Jim Grant." Dalton extended his hand and Jim caught it in a knuckle-juggler handshake that made the civilian attorney wince with pain under the Marine Colonel's grip. Mac shot Jim a nasty glare as Dalton cringed a little.
"Sorry about that, sometimes I don't know my own strength, it was sure nice to meet you Mr. Lowne, Mac." Jim nodded at Mac as she and Dalton retreated into the building.
"Sir, don't you think that was kind of mean?" Bud couldn't believe that there was serious open hostility on the Colonel's part toward Dalton.
"Bud, I plan on being more than 'kind of mean' toward Mr. Lowne; I've seen Mac end up with the wrong kind of guy before and I sure as hell am not going to standby and watch it happen again." The Colonel's face was grim as Harm pulled the car around to wear they were standing.
Days later when Harm, Mac and Bud returned from their investigation of the missing F-14 the trained observer could notice Harm's eyes studying Mac just a little more intensely. Every time she started to look back at him he turned away or got the same look as a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. While working on a case with Colonel Grant the two men sat in Harm's office, each with their feet up on Harm's desk just started digging into the food in their respective cardboard boxes from the local Chinese restaurant.
"So, when did Mac let slip about her tattoo?" Jim didn't even seem fazed in asking this question he just went on eating. Harm, however, nearly choked.
"How did you know I found out?" Harm shot back, smiling like there was not tomorrow.
"You're looking at her different than you were before you left on that investigation. You're not looking at her like you're just checking her out, you're not looking at her like a lovesick puppy; you're looking at her like you're searching for something, logical conclusion is that you know about the tattoo." Jim was waving his chopstick around in an animated fashion as he made his point.
"Nice powers of deduction counsellor. So, you know where it is?" Harm was definitely interested in the answer.
"Yeah, keep in mind I actually had to see it to even find out she had a tattoo, much less had one there." Jim smiled and laughed as he dug into the box for more food.
"You've seen it! Where is it?" Harm was like a kid who found out that Santa Claus had visited during the night.
"I'm afraid I can't tell you where it is, Mac threatened me with bodily injury if I ever told anyone. You have to remember the only reason I found out was because I surprised Mac at her place in Okinawa one day after she'd just gotten out of the shower, scared her enough that she dropped her towel." Jim laughed and Harm's eyes grew wider.
"You mean you've seen Mac…naked?" Harm's surprise was evident.
"Yeah, like I said it was an accident, I was forced to apologize for a week." Jim took a drink of his tea.
"How was it? I mean come on, one guy to another." Harm's face was played up in anticipation.
"One guy to another. Fan-damn-tastic!" Jim said and the two men shared a roar of laughter. Outside Harm's office, Mac and Harriet stood at Harriet's desk watching the two men have their exchange in Harm's office. Nothing could be heard but with the blinds open the laughter and smiles were dead giveaways that they were not talking about the case.
"Every time those two talk I get nervous. I honestly never expected they'd get along, at least not like they have." Mac turned to Harriet.
"Why would you possibly get nervous?" Harriet's voice was teaming with innocence and naivety.
"Because the only thing that those two men have in common aside from typical guy things like sports, cars and work; is me." Mac had a red rising in her cheeks. "Jim knows things that I don't think I'll ever live down Harm knowing yet."
"What kind of things, ma'am?" Harriet's attention zoomed out off of the screen an focused in on Mac.
"Answers to some pretty embarrassing personal questions." Mac laughed as she watched Harm laugh so loud that he fell backward out of his chair. "I'd better get in there and get one of them out of there otherwise I may not be able to look Harm in the eyes again."
"Harm, the Admiral wanted to see you, me and Bud, something about the USS Reprisal." Mac poked her head through the office door.
"Go ahead; I got the Bennings case down. I noticed where you're looking for what you're trying to find, you're pretty close to where it is." Jim and Harm exchanged knowing looks over the discrete remark. Harm and Mac walked toward the Admiral's office, passing Tiner on their way in.
"So what exactly is it that you're looking for and where are you looking for it." Mac looked up at Harm suspiciously.
"Graffiti on Navy property." Harm responded stopping only a second to let Mac into the office before him; he cast a subtle glance down at her six.
"It's not there Commander, and besides, I'm not Navy property." She smiled at him and led him into the office by his tie.