A/N: Alright Shippers, you've been patient, I'll start indulging you. By the way, I love some of the original feedback I'm getting; commenting on my writing helps me become a better writer, so thanks!
"So how does it feel to have prevented World War Three?" Jim greeted Harm as he first entered the JAG bullpen after getting back from the Reprisal.
"All in a day's work." Harm kept walking, the Marine Colonel keeping pace with him every step of the way.
"Actually I was referring to Mac; I understand it was her handy work that uncovered who the traitor really was." Jim nudged his buddy in the arm with his elbow. "Do you squids always take the credit due to a hardworking Marine?"
"Yeah well it's not all Harm's fault; something has to feed that ego of his." Mac smiled as Harm took on a look of mock offence.
"Need I remind the two of you that I was the one who had to fly the F-14 with the psycho terrorist in the back seat?" Harm was trying to fend off the assault of the two Marines.
"I knew you'd find a way to get behind the stick. The free world is at stake and Harmon Rabb Jr. has to act on his overwhelming desire to fly." Mac gave him a less than serious annoyed look.
"At gun point? Trust me Mac that was not how I planned on getting into an F-14 on that trip." Harm laughed as the three of them made their way into Mac's office.
"So you were planning to get in an F-14 while we were on the Reprisal, Commander?" Mac sat on the arm of his chair in his office.
"Come on Mac you can't blame your favourite Flyboy for wanting a little time up in a Tomcat while the Captain had them strafing the bows of North Korean ships." Harm gave her his trademark smile, the one that made her want to re-think Dalton.
"Who says you're my favourite Flyboy?" Mac's face was telling to anyone who knew her, while it was playful there was a hint of something else.
"You seeing some other flyboy on the side?" Harm shot back.
"No, but what makes you think I'd take any flyboy as a favourite?" Mac scooted a little closer on the arm of the chair.
"Did the two of you talk about anything special while you were on the Reprisal, maybe the heat of the situation…?" He trailed off trying to read the expressions on both of their faces. Both were shocked, surprised by what he was saying.
"No we didn't talk about anything special, why do you ask?" Mac was the first to come out with the words that were also running through Harm's head.
"Well I guess it's just that the two of you seem so…You know what why do I even bother?" Jim got up from the chair in front of Harm's desk. "Let me just say before I go that it amazes me that two people so smart can be so blind."
"Moody Marine Mister Mom this morning." Harm laughed as the realization dawned on him that Mac was a mere few inches from being parked in his lap.
"Harm, what you think he meant by 'special talks', 'heat of the situation 'and than that thing about us being blind?" Mac had moved out of the kind of flirty mode she'd been in all morning to something which had a bit more gravity.
"I'm sure it was nothing, he's got parent-teacher conferences tonight with some of David's teachers, maybe he's just a little on edge from all that." Harm added, feeling as though he'd dodged a bullet.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Mac seemed deflated, the humour, the happiness that had been there had drained. She went to pat him on the knee as she rose from her seat on the arm of the chair but she missed his knee and landed, rather unceremoniously in his crotch, striking him with enough force to cause him to wince. He doubled over out of the chair and on to the floor.
"You know Mac, if you wanted to cop a feel there are easier ways." Harm managed to gasp out loud enough for Mac to hear as lay on the floor in pain. Cop a feel? Is that what he thought she was doing? More importantly, is that what she'd done? She hadn't intended on it, she had only intended on giving him an encouraging pat on the knee. Than again, she had let her hand linger a second longer than it needed to be there.
"Harm I was not 'copping a feel', I was trying to give you a pat on the knee." Mac was insistent, not sure whom she was trying to convince any more.
"Aim not what it used to be Marine?" Harm smiled as he tried to get up off the floor. His smile put her at ease. "You know I'm going to be walking like I've got over-starched boxers all day, thanks to you."
"Come on Harm; let's get you up off the floor." Mac extended her arm to help Harm get up off the floor. Harm got up but came to his knees so quickly that he lost his balance and fell forward on top of Mac putting both of them in a rather compromising position on top of Harm's desk. It would be that moment that Bud Roberts chose to enter Harm's office.
"Sir I was just going over the crime scene reports that you had me analyze for the Bennings case and I…" Bud looked up see Harm on top of Mac on the desk, their faces mere inches apart. "I'm sorry….I…I…" Bud froze in his tracks. The two officers finally realized where they were and corrected their dress and deportment.
"I apologize for my clumsiness Mac; I'll try not to let it happen in the future." Harm, try thought he might have, did not look apologetic.
"It's alright Commander, equal payback for my little swat." Mac tossed him a playful if weak smile as she left his office.
"With all due respect sir, what was that?" Bud handed Harm the report.
"I wish I could tell you Bud." Harm looked longingly out into the bullpen as Bud told him what irregularities he had found in the crime scene report.
After forty-five minutes, Mac came running into Harm's office. "Harm, the Admiral wants to see us, some investigation that's come all the way down from the White House." She was enthused. "Something to do with the Medal of Honour?"
"White House? Medal of Honour?" Harm was trying to bring himself back to planet earth. Ever since earlier, images of her sprawled out on his desk seemed to find their way to him mind more and more frequently.
"Is there an echo in here? Now get your cute six over to the Admiral's office on the double sailor." Mac wanted to retract her last statement but she saw the smile grow on Harm's face and realized he'd heard every word.
"You really think it's cute, Mac?" He wasn't going to let her hear the end of it now.
"No, not really, I was just trying to get your attention. Now haul it on over to the Admiral's office, squid!" Mac lead the way out of the office and Harm followed behind, trying hard to keep his eyes on the floor, on the wall, anything but her. The two of them passed Petty Officer Tiner on their way into the Admiral's office.
"Commander, Major, glad you could finally make it. The President has nominated Lieutenant Curtis Rivers for the Congressional Medal of Honour for his actions in the extraction of an Undersecretary of State from Lebanon. You two will be going out to Coronado to investigate and find anything that might be particularly harmful to the Lieutenant's credibility as well as to find the obligatory two witnesses required for the nomination of the Lieutenant for the medal." The look on the Admiral's face told them that was all the information that they were to be given on the issue. With that the two of them picked up Bud on the way out of the office and headed off to conduct their investigation on one Lieutenant Curtis Rivers.
A few days later, they all returned from the investigation and were about to head off to the ceremony for the presentation of the Medal of Honour to Lieutenant Rivers. The Admiral, Bud and Harm were all wearing their Class As while Mac and Jim were contending with the various intricacies of Marine Mess Dress.
"You guys get to wear your Class As, why can't we?" Mac was trying to straighten the blue jacket.
"You have to look Navy for this one Marines and you look more Navy in blue than you do in green so get with it." The Admiral fired back in his most authoritative voice.
"Yes, but with all due respect sir, we're not Navy, we're the Marines, the best and we look our best in green." Jim was wrestling endlessly with the gold buttons of the black coat. "Damn starch." He muttered under his breath.
"We're not about to get into Navy-Marine rivalries Colonel, we're just going to go down to Arlington." The Admiral started toward the JAG doors.
"Fine, if I have to go I call shotgun." Jim tried to sound enthused and almost immature as he walked with his colleagues out of the office.
"Colonel don't you think that it would be more appropriate if the lady had the front seat?" The Admiral looked at him almost paternally.
"Who Mac? Mac's no lady; hell Harm acts more like a woman than Mac does!" Jim and the Admiral shared a laugh but Jim received friendly whacks on either shoulder from both Harm and Mac. "Hey! Don't hit me, I'm an old man."
"You're not that old, sir." Bud was trying to be complimentary.
"Bud, I'm over forty, which means that the hill is in my rear-view mirror." With a self-deprecating smile, he gave Bud a pat on the shoulder. "Hanging around with you young'uns should keep me young at heart though."
"I swear to god, Colonel if you start singing I'm going to…" The Admiral led the group of people across the parking lot to the car. The Admiral got in behind the wheel with Mac sitting in the shotgun seat' Bud, Harm and finally Jim all had to scrunch into the backseat. "Comfortable back there Commander?" The Admiral checked his mirrors.
"Hardly, sir." Harm tried to manoeuvre his shoulders into some semblance of a comfortable position.
"Good, now you boys won't squirm around while the Admiral drives." Mac tossed them a smile via her reflection in her vanity mirror.
"Thanks, Mom." Harm, sitting in the middle, tried pushing out his arms in either direction to get a little room. The Admiral put the car into drive and started the drive from Falls Church to Arlington.
"Admiral, Harm tells me you're quite the baseball aficionado." Jim figured that he had to do something to take his mind off of the fact that he was sandwiched between Harm and the door.
"Yeah, why do you ask Colonel?" The Admiral looked in the rear-view mirror.
"Well I know there's quite the local military league around here. Quantico's got a team, so does Norfolk, Andrews, Fort Meade, Bethesda and Pax River, why doesn't JAG field a team?" Jim's suggestion seemed to garner support from those in the car. "Come on Mac, you remember what those Saturday afternoons were like back in Arizona when me and Matt ran the team out there."
"Mac I didn't know you played baseball." Harm leaned into the front seat, after loosening the middle seatbelt.
"I wasn't on the team, I was an active spectator." Mac shot back, her eyes begging Jim not to divulge the actual story.
"Active spectator? That's certainly a diplomatic way of saying cheerleader." Jim laughed as he blurted out the sentence. A bright pink rose in Mac's cheek as she saw a smile come across Harm's face.
"You were a cheerleader Mac? Wouldn't have pegged this tough Marine as the cheerleading type." Harm smiled as Mac looked at him like she was trying to avoid slapping him.
"Well she didn't exactly volunteer for the duty. Every guy on the team had to have a female relative or their girlfriend on the cheerleading squad as a rule. Half the team threatened to quit if Mac wasn't put on the cheerleading squad as Matt O'Hara's contribution." The story caused a round of laughter from everyone in the car and an annoyed look from the Marine in the front seat.
"Did you guys win any games?" The Admiral's interest was peaked.
"Oh yeah, the sight of Mac in the cheerleading uniform did wonders for our morale not to mention what it did to distract the other team." Another round of laughter circulated through the men in the car as Mac tried to hide exactly how pink her face had become.
"Baseball team sounds like an excellent idea Colonel. Major MacKenzie, you'll be in charge of the cheerleading squad seeing as you seem to have experience in that sort of thing." The Admiral's amused smile had made a come back.
"But sir, I really think I could be of more use on the field." The thought of her coworkers seeing her in the cheerleading uniform was more than she was willing to stand.
"Come on Mac, admit it, you just don't want us to see you in cheerleading uniform." Harm teased her.
"That's right Commander, I'm afraid you won't be able to keep your eyes on the game, you could embarrass JAG." Mac teased right back, stunning Harm.
"Good comeback ma'am." Bud added from his spot behind the Admiral.
"Thank you Bud." Mac smiled and laughed when she realized that she had left Harm unable to return with some snappy comeback. "Nothing to say Commander?" In reality Harm was being filled in on exactly what the cheerleading uniforms were back in the Arizona days.
"Admiral, the Colonel has just filled me in on what the uniforms were back when these two were in Arizona and I think we should institute similar uniforms here." Harm turned toward the Admiral.
"Mr. Grant, exactly what were the uniforms in Arizona?" The Admiral had a look of caution on his face.
"Desert camouflage bikini top and mini-skirt." Jim replied with the widest smiled on his face. The Admiral seemed amused but was not about to make the suggestion that any personnel under his command be forced to wear that particular uniform.
"Tell you what Colonel, since the whole team was your idea, why don't I put you in charge of requisitioning uniforms for the team and the cheerleaders." The Admiral's smile had grown considerably in the past minutes.
"Aye aye, sir." With that the car pulled into Arlington National Cemetery and the five colleagues from JAG headquarters all made their way to the presentation ceremony. The day, the atmosphere, it all likely had something to do with being in Arlington. They had all watched the medal be presented to Lieutenant Rivers and after the ceremony had concluded, Mac, Bud and the Admiral had all found their way back to the car and immediately noticed that they were missing two people.
"Where's the Commander and the Colonel sir?" Bud looked up at the Admiral in anticipation of either an answer or a plan.
"Well unless I'm mistaken that's Commander Rabb over there, my guess would be that Colonel Grant will be along any minute." The Admiral's usually gruff paternalism seemed softened. Harm walked over to them, an introspective look in his eyes and the smallest of grins on his face.
"Hey sailor, where'd you run off to?" Mac's face was quizzical with undertones of concern.
"Just went to pay my respects to Seaman Rivers." Harm sounded sombre yet mature. "It got me thinking. Mac, what are you doing this afternoon, there's someone I want to introduce you to." Hesitantly he draped his arm across her shoulders as the two of them leaned up against the car.
"Rabb have you seen the Colonel anywhere?" The Admiral's voice sounded a little more like the Commanding Officer that they had come to know.
"No sir, after the ceremony I saw the Colonel walk off into the cemetery somewhere but I haven't seen him since." The Admiral took it upon himself to go out into the ceremony, he'd read the Colonel's service record, he had some idea where the latest addition to the JAG team likely was. On his way through the cemetery he looked down at tombstones from Nam, from Lebanon from a lot of the conflicts that he himself had laid witness to. The row of white tombstones seemed endless but in the middle of the row there was the squatting frame of a familiar Marine, right where the Admiral thought he'd be.
"You know, you should really inform your Commanding Officer before you go over the wall." The Admiral tried his best to sound authoritative but the compassion was evident.
"Sorry sir, it's been five years since I've been here. I always find myself coming back to thank them for something else. You've read my service record, there's no way in hell I should be alive right now. Lebanon, Panama, Liberia, Iraq, Somalia, Bosnia and god knows how many extractions and tactical assaults in Central and South America during the eighties. Every time I came back, I came here, to thank them." Jim forced back tears as he stared down at the three graves nearest him.
"It's a part of the job son, they tell us we have to go and we go and you always went. You did your duty Marine. A little help from above is necessary some times." The Admiral crouched down next to him.
"First Lieutenant Michael O'Grady USMC, killed at Chosin Reservoir, Korea, November 29th, 1950; Major David O'Grady USMC, killed at Chosin Reservoir November 29th,1950; Gunnery Sergeant Patrick Grant USMC, killed at Chosin Reservoir, November 29th, 1950. They were all uncles of mine, they died before I was born but they've protected me without ever knowing me, you know what's it like to have a Guardian Angel Admiral?"
"No." The Admiral's reply was stoic.
"It's something of a double-edged sword; you're glad to have them but it gnaws at you, to think that they had to die in order to become that Guardian Angel. When I was a young kid, my mother buried a poem at the side of her oldest brother's tombstone." Jim took his left hand and dug into the ground, he slowly pulled out a piece of laminated paper and handed it to the Admiral.
"That we, the dead, now fallen, lie/ Call our spirits unto the sky/ To those who fight beneath the cloud/ Our legacy's yours, make us proud. Andrea Grant, November 29th, 1960. You want another moment, son?" The Admiral was visibly moved by the words.
"No, I think I'll be okay. And Admiral?" Jim took the poem and placed it once again in its resting place buried at the side of the tombstone.
"Yeah." The Admiral was on his feet, once again looking down at the Marine,
"Thanks." The two old veterans stood next to each other and saluted the graves out of respect before walking through the cemetery back to the parking lot and their friends waiting by the car. They stood in a far off grove of trees for a second and watched the scene at the car in the parking lot. Harm, still with his arm wrapped around Mac's shoulders and Mac with her arm around Harm's waist were watching Bud explain something with some rather animated hand gestures.
"So do either of us know what's going on with those two?" The Admiral had that same paternal smile.
"Apparently Mac's dating Dalton Lowne. Which confuses me all to hell." It was nice for the Marine to talk with another vet rather than one of 'the kids' as he called them. "But with the way the two of them have been flirting recently, it just seems like more. I told Harm I only ever looked at one woman the way he looks at Mac. And I married that woman."
"What'd he have to say to that?" The Admiral seemed amused.
"Not a whole hell of a lot, there was really just a lot of stuttering and mumbling." The two men shared a laugh.
"Well keep me posted; if it goes beyond flirting. Has Lieutenant Roberts informed you of the betting pool?" The Admiral's question was not unanticipated.
"Yeah, he brought it up in the first one-on-one meeting I had with him. He told me that the office started it after the first time they played hooky together." Jim smiled as the two of them started working together. "I don't bet Admiral."
"Damn shame." The Admiral gave the younger man a pat on the back. As opposed to the drive to Arlington, the drive back to Falls Church was had in almost complete silence with the exceptional cough. The silence in the car was the antithesis of the questions being posed in the minds of the two senior attorneys who sat next to one another in the back seat. He looked into her eyes. 'There's so much I want to say to you, so much which exists only in here, so much which will for now, remain unsaid.' The thoughts raced in his head.
'God, why can't I talk to you? You amaze me everyday, everyday I peel away a little bit more of that protective layer and I'm amazed by the man in there. So why don't you let me in? Every time you push me away, a little bit of me fears you'll never draw me back. Can't you see you're pushing me to him? I can only try so much with you, to make you understand but you don't, do you?' She looked hopefully into his eyes, praying to see ignorance, if he didn't understand than there was hope. If he did understand, than it was rejection, something she didn't think she could take from him.
"We're back at the ranch folks!" Jim called from the front seat as the car came to a stop in the JAG parking lot. All of the people that had gone to the ceremony at Arlington were going their separate ways. The Admiral went back up to his office; Bud went to wait for Harriet to secure for the day; Jim got in his car and drove off leaving only Mac and Harm standing in the parking lot.
"So where are you going to take me sailor?" Mac looked up into his eyes and it brought a smile to her face.
"It's a secret." Harm's arm hesitantly moved to the small of her back as he guided her to the car. The drive in the car was marked by more stolen glances and silent thoughts as Mac noticed that they were nearing the National Mall. She'd been to Washington, she'd seen the sights, she didn't understand what he was doing where he was taking them. She was glad to be with him in that moment but she wasn't sure about exactly what he was doing. He'd exhibited a fair amount of jealousy when it came to her and other men in the last year, first with Jim, now with Dalton. But what kind of interest is it that spikes only when it's challenged? She thought.
They parked near the National Mall and got out of the car. Harm's hand returned to the place it had occupied at the small of her back as they went for a walk near the Mall. "Harm, you haven't said a word for quite a while, is everything okay?" Her concern evident.
"Shhh, Sarah, this is kind of important, at least to me." His tone was sombre.
"Harm, you're scaring me, I can count on one hand the number of times that you've ever called me Sarah." Her eyes wide with alarm.
"Mac, it's nothing to be afraid of, like I said I just wanted to introduce you to someone." He led her to the feet of the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial. The two of them walked silently, out of reverence, along the path in front of the memorial. Eventually they came to a familiar place to Harm and stopped. He turned toward the wall and ran his fingers over his father's name. Suddenly Mac realized she had peeled another layer away from the protective shell of the man who would never cease to amaze her.
"Hey dad, I brought a friend with me this time. I told you about her last year, Mac the Marine. Well dad she means even more to me this year, she's fast become my best friend and at this point she's the most important person in my life." He looked down into her eyes and saw them tearing up, he could feel her clinging to him with all that she was. "Dad, if you're up there, I know it's a lot to ask Dad, I know you look after me and I realize exactly how much of a full time job that is but, could you look after her too, I've never met anyone else who deserved a little help from the other side."
The tears that were welling up in her eyes were let loose and began to slowly trickle down her cheeks. It was the most touching thing that she'd ever seen any man do. She knew how much his dad meant to him. With recent events she even knew that Harm honestly didn't believe his father was dead, but the fact that he was willing to accept that possibility if only to help her made the gesture more touching.
"Harm, why?" They were the only words she could get out.
"We've been through a lot, Mac, I've wanted to do this since that close call on the Reprisal, I guess being at Arlington today just brought that idea back. I wanted to make sure that you knew that there was someone who was going to be there if, for some unforeseeable reason, I couldn't." His concern, even the elements of pain that traced his voice, they all made the moment something more than either was willing to admit.
She reached over to hug him and pulled him in close to her. "Thank you Harm, I can't tell you what this has meant to me." She didn't want to let him go, she couldn't think of anything else but him but she felt the hesitation, the tension in him. He felt her stomach rumble as she hugged him.
"Come on Marine; let's get you something you eat." The two of them walked peaceably back to the car and drove to a nearby Beltway Burger. They sat at a table in the restaurant, Mac gnawed on a burger and Harm poked feebly at the restaurant's poor excuse for a salad. "How can you eat here? I can feel my arteries slamming shut just sitting here."
"Lighten up Flyboy; you're just here to feed your favourite hungry Marine." She took an other bite of her burger and squirted ketchup all over Harm's salad. "Sorry about that."
"No, I think you might have actually improved it. It can't get any worse." He tossed her that smile he reserved only for her.
"Harm about today, what was it… I mean…besides the kindest, sweetest thing a man has ever done for me." She looked longingly into his eyes hoping he understood what she was trying to say.
"It was the right thing, for the right person at the right time. A show of undying support for my best friend because I know she's considering leaving JAG for the glorious life of civilian law." His words sunk Mac's heart, how she wished he had meant more.
"How'd you? I mean I never said anything." Mac looked into his eyes.
"You've been distant Mac at least at work, except for that morning right before the Rivers case, that was a little weird." They both laughed remembering that particular morning.
"Nothing's final Harm, I mean Dalton only told me yesterday that the partners at his firm wanted to make me an offer but they're about to argue a big case before the Supreme Court and I would need a real good reason to pass up an opportunity to be a part of that." It was a final plea, her attempt to make him understand that he could be that real good reason.
"Mac it sounds like a great opportunity for you; Woody Allen once said 'the heart wants what it wants' as long as you do what you what your heart wants, I'll support you." He smiled at her but he didn't see her expression lift. She wanted to scream 'my heart wants you!' at the top of her lungs but she couldn't find the words. For the rest of their 'dinner' the conversation was kept light, nothing that could bring the mood down was said as they sat in Beltway Burger eating lunch.
Eventually, they finished and went back to the car so that Harm could drop Mac off in Georgetown before heading back to his North of Union Station flat. "Hey Mac, if you do decide to join the dark side, expect me as a weekly visitor!" He called from the car as she walked up to the building.
"Why, you gonna miss me Squid?" She turned around to face the car.
"Just every time I go to work, Mac." He smiled as he turned the key.
"I wouldn't have it any other way Flyboy." She smiled as she opened the door to her building.
"Either would I Mac." With that the car drove down the street and out of sight.