Daisies and Deodorant
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Reviews
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Goodness, last chapter got a lot of reviews... mostly for Kiba being hentai, though, heh... Thanks for all the wonderful wonderful reviews! Read author's notes about suggestions for the story... I might use some of them (of course I'll give credit to the people in this section, so don't sue me!) Ok, on to the reviews...
Guiltshow: Ehh...I thought it was pretty good...but KIBA / Kiba, I can't picture you that preverted. / Good job. / Except for Kiba. But I may be in denial. / Can't wait for next chapter. / -JH
Me: Lol I understand the denial part... at least one person had to be perverted and... Kiba got picked? (I was THIS close to making Shino perverted by Kiba drew the shortest straw )
Evil-Death-Fairy-Of-DOOM: OMG DEMON DOG! hysterical laughter ano i don't noe if unintentional troture is torture and YA COOKIE! lol
Me: Want another cookie? (Sugar or Chocolate Chip?)
Sonic: fuuny please update
Me: I will try.But I've got a little writer's block on right now, so it'll take longer...
Darkangeltears66: Yay! Another chapter/ Oh Tenten, the poor soul.--. Make Sakura suffer more. I hate her with a passion! D
Me: Lol hey you replied! I don't know, I'm not prone to a lot of Sakura-bashing... but I'm very good at torturing Sasuke.
Hatsuharulover181: I LOVE it. Please Update.
Me: Thank you very much, and, I will.
Animesoul167:This is really funny! I want to read more more more!
Me: Let us pray to God that he will give me more ideas to right more more more
Kiyoshi-chan: Perverts, Weird Neji, Crazy Girls & Bad Truth or Dare Game... / So wrong... Funny but very wrong. / Anyway, looking foward for the naxt chap./ -(Quiet child)
Me: Lol that's a really good summary right there... anyway, thanks for reviewing! (gets out huge bags of cookies and hands them out to everybody.) And if you don't like a cookie, here's a free Naruto Manga...
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The Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! stage show
EXTRA 2
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Shika: Me again? Well… I'm not going to even bother with intros… just enjoy the stupid show.
(walks off stage)
-SILENCE-
Voice in Back: …what?
Authoress: YES! You are in this one!
Voice in Back: … so troublesome…
(Shika reappears)
Shika: …ok…
Kiba: YES! WE BOYS MAKE AN APPEREARANCE THIS CHAPTER!
Shino: … we made an appearance in the last chapter too…
Kiba: (turns around) Shh--! They don't know that!
Shino: … Kiba, of course they know that.
Kiba: You're ruining the effect! STUPID BUG BOY!
Shika: Guys… shut up…
Kiba: (looks like an idea just dawned on him) Oh yeah! Where's Naruto?
All the boys: (looks around)
Shika: …not here.
Voice in back: GET AWAY FROM ME!
(Another) Voice in back: I WILL DEFEAT YOU!
(Neji appears on stage, Lee chasing after him)
Neji: GET AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Lee: I WILL WIN THIS RACE BY TWO FEET OR I WILL DO FIVE-HUNDRED PUSH UPS!
Neji: (screaming) THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
(Both run off stage)
All the boys: O-O--!
Shino: …
Kiba: …o…k…!
Shika: (looks at the string next to him) Looks like it's time to get on with the story, neh? (pulls string and the curtain closes)
the end
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Chapter 5
The Kidnappings Begin
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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto's world. However, I do own this story. So don't you DARE steal my story idea and plot or I will HUNT YOU DOWN! …thank you
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"LEMONADE!"
"…"
"…"
"Ino, why do have a daisy floating in there?"
"EH!"
The girls were out on the porch after Tenten's parents chased them out due to Hinata's inability to judge her distances during a back flip and accidentally set off the fire extinguisher, which now filled the entirety of the living room. Thus, rendering it incapable to hold the four girls indoors any longer.
"Oh well! Daisies enhance the flavor!"
"No way! That's… roses!"
"Don't be stupid Sakura-forehead it's definitely daisies! I should know!"
"Roses!"
"Daisies!"
"Ro—ses!"
"Daaaaaaaisies!"
"Roses, roses, roses!"
"Daisies, Daisies, Daisies!"
"Ro—ack!"
"SAKURA!"
Tenten looked down at her rapidly yellow-stained beige shorts, "Sakura!"
"Sorry, Ino was provoking me!"
"What!"
Tenten groaned as she got up from her seat, looking at the mess of yellow liquid oozing down the inside of her thigh, "Now it looks like I just went on myself there… now I have to change… again…" She sighed as she set down her empty cup on the porch railing, "…I'll be back…"
After the girls were sure Tenten left, Ino kicked Sakura under the small wooden table, and Sakura punched her in the face.
"DAISIES!"
"ROSES!"
"YOU'RE ALL WRONG IT'S VIOLETS!"
"…"
"…"
Ino looked up with Sakura's fist on her cheek and Sakura glared sideways with Ino's foot ground into her shoe. Hinata blushed, but firmly plucked a violet from a nearby plant and dropped it into her cup. She sat down, closed her eyes, and sighed as she sipped her lemonade.
"Yes… it's definitely violets."
Ino and Sakura looked at each other, than looked at the dreamy Hyuuga.
Cuckoo, Sakura signaled.
She's just trying to get us to shut up, Ino signaled back.
Sakura paused.
I still think she's cuckoo.
Ino nodded.
Gone off the hook this time?
Yeah, Ino-pig what did you do with her nails? Brainwash her?
Brainwash—
"Ino what are you doing leaning over the table with one hand twisted behind your back touching your left side and the other hand tugging your ponytail, sticking your tongue out and making snorting noises?" Tenten appeared from the front door, puffs of white stuck to her heels, "…and the living room is still inaccessible, by the way."
"…do you want a violet, Tenten?"
Tenten stared at Hinata. "…ok, I won't ask." She pulled a chair over and sat it in, sighing, ruffling her hair. "Sorry if I seem kind of tired out. I'm just thinking about how we're going to lure the boys here, and what we should do next, and how to prepare, and… you know…"
Sakura frowned, straightening her back (She had had one leg over the back of her neck, balancing against the table, sticking her tongue out and trying to roll her eyes into the back of her head). "Hey, wasn't I the one that was supposed to come up with a super awesome plan to lure the boys here?"
Tenten paused. "…yeah, that's right. So… do you have a super awesome plan?"
Sakura leaned forward, along with Ino, who was intent on listening. "Ok, so here's the deal," she whispered, "I've already got some easy stuff planned for some guys… like Kiba, for instance…"
"…violets," Hinata murmured. The other girls ignored her.
"…so we just place the biscuits in a little trail leading back to the backyard and up the tree house?" Tenten frowned, "isn't that a little too easy?"
Ino snorted. "Knowing Kiba, that's twice as enough for him to be tricked. That boy doesn't just smell like a dog, his mind's like one too."
"trampling… violets… you guys…"
"Shh Hinata, are you going to help with this or not? Sakura-forehead bought some of these weird biscuit things to lure Kiba—"
"violets… you guys… you know…"
"…and then—Hinata, are you listening to me?"
Hinata was now perfectly still, staring out into a dark corner at the edge of Tenten's front yard. "You really don't have to go through the trouble… they're over there… some of them, anyway. Trampling the violets."
Hinata pointed at a pair of sparkling lenses in the dark of the night.
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"…oh crap, they saw us."
"…"
"What are you planning to do?"
"Why are you asking me!"
"You're the genius around here, Shikamaru! Think of something!"
"Should we move back?"
"Back? Back where! Behind is the shed wall!"
"…it was just a suggestion, Naruto."
"We all know you're trying Chouji. But we're back at square one!"
"Square one? Was there even squares to—"
"…"
"Shino?"
"…guys, where's Kiba?"
--
"… I don't wanna make bouquets! I want to help kidnap the guys!"
"Mmph!"
"Oh shut up Sakura, you've been whining ever since you started to make the bouquets. Besides, it's not that much since there's only four of us!"
"Yeah Forehead, see I'm already done with my first one!"
"PIG!"
"Mmph mmph!"
Tenten sighed, massaging her temples. She was clad in a black-only ninja suit that would help lure the four boys she had assigned herself to kidnap. Since there were eight boys total, she had split the different boys between her and Hinata. She was in charge of Neji, Lee, Sasuke and Chouji while Hinata had her hands full with Kiba, Shino, Shika and Naruto. She turned silently and left the tree house.
Sakura checked that Tenten was out of range, then threw her unfinished bouquet onto Ino's. "YOU MADE A BOUQUET OUT OF DAISIES! ROSES ARE BETTER!"
"No they're not! Not for a wedding anyways. THEY PRICK PEOPLE! Daisies are SIMPLE and HAPPY!"
"SO ARE ROSES!"
"DAISIES!"
"Mmph!"
"ROSES!"
"Why the heck do you like roses so much? I thought you liked cherry blossoms!"
Sakura paused. "…oh… right. CHERRY BLOSSOMS!"
"DAISIES!"
"Mmph…"
"MY CHERRY BLOSSOMS ARE SUPERIOR TO YOUR STUPID LITTLE DAISIES!"
"YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED A BOUQUET!"
"I-I… PIG!"
"FOREHEAD!"
"MMPH!"
Ino threw a rock at the struggling bundle placed in the corner of the tree house, "Shut up Kiba you have NO SAY IN THIS!"
"MMPH mmph MmPH-!"
Tenten, who was only outside the tree house door (and could hear the two of them screaming), sighed. After the lemonade incident on the porch, the girls had schemed up a plan for the boys and the simulation wedding. They decided they'd capture all the boys, not just the ones whom they liked, and appoint them best man and 'audience' (strapped to the chair in a straight-jacket, no less…).
Sakura's first idea had worked perfectly for Kiba. It had only taken a matter of dog biscuits and Hinata to lure him in…
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"Hey-! Look Akamaru, it's our lucky day! A dog biscuit!" Kiba bent over and picked up the little treat with his fingers. Akamaru yipped happily in his arms as Kiba continuously picked up more and more, edging more and more away from the other boys. "And here's another one… and another… and another… wow! God must be smiling down at us now!"
Kiba followed the inconspicuous /cough/ trail down the road to the backyard, across the lawn, and up the tree house. In front of the door to the tree house was the whole box of dog-treats. "Oh man! So lucky-! And I was hungry too! C'mon Akamaru let's share!" They were about to dig in when Hinata quietly opened the door and stood in front of them. Kiba froze.
"…"
"…"
"…uh… hi, Hinata?"
"…Kiba." For some reason, Hinata was blushing crimson, and her hands were holding something behind her back. "Ano… what are you doing here?"
Kiba scratched the back of his head nervously. Well, he couldn't really say he was here to spy on the girls in search of some girl nakedness or something, right? "Er… just taking a walk?"
Hinata bit her lip. "Ano…"
"What?"
"…sorry."
Kiba blinked as Hinata suddenly whipped out a large mesh net from behind her back and attacked him with it.
"…? EH! AGH---!"
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Thus, the first boy was captured, tied up in a little white-blanket bundle with a mesh net strapped around him thrown into a corner in the tree house. Soon, he was to be joined with seven other boys. Oh goody.
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To everyone who knew him well enough, they knew he took a small jog from one side of the village to the other every night at around eleven to avoid some unwanted attention. They also knew that time to time a certain green-clad eccentric 'joined' him in his jogging… which would cause him to jog faster to get away from 'the green beast of Konoha'.
"YOSH! What excellent air to be jogging in today, my rival! If I cannot finish a whole lap from one side of the village to another within ten minutes I SWEAR I WILL DO A HUNDRED PUSH-UPS ON A JAGGED ROCK BY THE CREEK!"
"…I need to get out of here." Neji thought as he jogged faster. Lee's speed increased too, to catch up to the Hyuuga. Neji ran faster. Lee caught up. Neji ran even faster. Lee caught up again. After five minutes they were both running at top speed, Neji because he wanted to get away from his crazy teammate and Lee because he thought it was another 'contest' or something.
All of a sudden, Neji stopped. Lee crashed into him, sending both of them flying through the air and landing about fifteen feet away from where Neji had stopped. They stayed on the floor for about a second before Lee suddenly popped right up again, miraculously unhurt. Neji was a different matter entirely, though he didn't show his pain when he picked himself from the floor.
"Oi, Neji, why'd you stop! Now I've wasted five seconds of my youth and must now do not a hundred, but two hundred push-ups for my failure!" Lee wailed.
"I think fate has called out to me…" Neji murmured. "To go left…" Like a zombie he started trudging left. Lee blinked.
"Eh--?" He looked in the direction that Neji had pointed and saw a little white arrow, pointing left, stating 'Hyuuga Neji, Fate has called out to you to go this way'… Lee sweat-dropped.
"Oh dear…"
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"You don't think… he got found out?"
"…"
"…this is pretty sad, but I think Kiba is really that stupid."
"Just what I expected. Ugh…"
"…what do we do?"
"Well save Kiba of course!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Naruto, we'd all get captured ourselves then…"
"Shut up! We're his friends' right? It's our duty to rescue him! That's what friends do! They defend each other and help each other and do all this friendly stuff… and as his friends, because it is our duty, we must—urk!"
"…"
"…good job Shino."
"Thanks."
"We still haven't decided what to do… I mean, Kiba, being the senseless person he is, might've spilled the beans and the girls might be out hunting for us! We all have to hide… let's give each other bird-call names to identify each other. I'm going to be a lark, Shino's an owl, Naruto's a mourning dove, and Chouji… is… a… chicken. Yeah, I guess that'll work."
"Hey I don't wanna be a mourning dove! I wanna be an owl! An OWL!"
"Shut up stupid! Ok, Shino switch! You are now a mourning dove and you are an owl. Ok. Everyone got that settled? I mean, this is so totally troublesome… why'd I have to take charge… ugh… sound off!"
"Ooh--! Ooh--!"
"Decent call Shino. Naruto!"
"HOOT HOOT!"
"…"
"…that's gotta be the worst owl call in history…"
"Shut up! I bet its better than Chouji's chicken! Chouji, chicken call!"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Chouji?"
"…"
"Cripes, now Chouji's gone too!"
"I don't know…"
"Maybe he went out to pee? OW!"
"Naruto! In Tenten's yard? In your dreams!"
"…Shika--!"
"Hush. Ok, we just have to circle the perimeter of the yard, try to find the two lost nin, and get out of here… everyone got that?"
"…"
"…yes sir."
"Good, Naruto. You got that too Shino?"
"…"
"…"
"…Shino?"
"NO! We're being picked off, one by one!"
"Ok, just stay calm Naruto. Let's split up so whoever's capturing us will have a harder time, alright?"
"Ok, ok… sheesh…"
"Good. Now let's go."
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Somewhere in a dark, moonlit room lay three dark bundles piled on top of each other. From one bundle was the sound of crunching, gobbling, and altogether disgusting eating noises…
"…mmph?"
"Mmo."
"MMPH!"
"Mmo Mmo mmo…"
"Mmph Meemo…"
"Meemo mmph mmph mmph."
The bundle on the bottom paused. "Mamaumph mumph… me mmph mmph mph?"
The chewing bundle considered. "…mmph?"
"Mmph!"
"…mmomay…"
"MMES!"
There was an exchange.
The bundle on the very top just sighed.
The air was chillingly silent as the three bundles said nothing.
Slowly, crunching sounds could be heard now from the bottom bundle…
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Author's Notes: People, I am starting to get writer's blocks. Any suggestions for further story improvements are much appreciated. Do not worry: I did not forget about the shopping spree. I am sorry this chapter took so long to finish, and it was actually supposed to be longer, but I wanted to get it to you readers as fast as possible so… Yes the last part is kinda confusing. To the people who get it, congrats. To the people that don't—sorry, I don't want to ruin the moment by saying…