A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover And the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident
By Spectra16
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Sorry it was so boring. I had to get the details out of the way. It'll get more wrapped around Harry and all that good crap soon enough. Just wait.
Disclaimer: Don't player hate on me! Player hate on somebody else! (I love AMV Hell 3!)
Speaking of awesome movies on Google Video, please search for Harry Potter (on Google Video) and click on the one called "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Amityville". It's hilarious! Kudos to the creators!
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Chapter Two: The Sorting Hat, With All Due Respect
Artemis felt rushed into the process of initiation at Hogwarts. The whole experience would've been spectacular, if not for all of the questions floating around in his head. The ragged clothed man, now known as Professor Lupin, had brought Artemis to the conductor of the Hogwarts Express, and had asked him questions about why the dementors were coming aboard. Artemis had not been allowed to hear the conversation, which he assumed was important, no doubt. Professor Lupin seemed to walk around like everything was a big deal, but he paid little attention to Artemis, which was unlike what he did with the boy who fainted.
Artemis was then forgotten and hurried off the train with the other students. The baggage seemed uncontrollable, and routy second years were screaming and teasing each other. Artemis caught a glimpse of that obnoxious blonde boy he had a fall in with earlier, but the boy didn't acknowledge his presence.
The sky was a crimson red color, just as the sun was going down. Artemis followed the crowd of people that were rushing toward the doors of Hogwarts, and the first year students were split up from the others. Artemis did not follow them, since technically, he was a third year. Artemis found this situation annoying, considering he had to explain it to whomever asked. Just as he was about to enter with the Ravenclaws, he was pulled away from them by a strong hand. Artemis looked at his captor in shock, still rattled from the encounter with the dementor. His look of shock changing into disgust when he found a slimy, grungy looking man had pulled him away from the crowd.
"You're Artemis Fowl, correct?" He asked in a scratchy voice. In order to avoid being snobbish, Artemis forced himself to look lost, and he gingerly nodded his head.
"Come with me," the man let him go and brought him away from the doors.
This man led him into the grassy sides of the School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Artemis struggled to carry the luggage he had brought with him, and the man had not offered his help. Finally realizing Artemis was lagging behind, the man grabbed two of his suit cases and stormed off.
Artemis was brought to Dumbledore's office, and everything Artemis saw there was awe inspiring. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the knick knacks and things fluttering around the room. There was also a large bird in a cage, that resembled a picture in a fairy tale book, a phoenix. Artemis starred at it until he noticed a white bearded man with interesting looking robes on, and a pointed hat. The sight reminded Artemis of Merlin or Gandalf. . . . So the stereotypes are true, he thought.
"Well, well, it's Mr. Fowl. How do you do? I'm Albus Dumbledore, headmaster to Hogwarts," The man smiled warmly at Artemis, who returned the expression with a half curled lip.
"I'm fine," Artemis lied. Confused was more like it.
"I'm sure you're wondering why we pulled you away from the other students," Dumbledore assumed. Artemis shook his head.
"No. I'm guessing it's because I am not yet part of a house, and you assumed that it would be embarrassing for a third year to be with the first years. And you are correct. I'm glad you made this decision," Artemis said confidently. Although, the look on Dumbledore's face didn't seem impressed by Artemis' deduction.
"Well, yes, there's that. But there's also some news that you wouldn't have heard of in your world, the muggle world," Dumbledore paused. There's that word again, Artemis thought. Although, the way Dumbledore said it didn't make it sound like a condemning thing. Artemis was interested now.
"You see, there's an evil wizard about, his name is Voldemort. He went to Hogwarts in his day, but . . . He's dangerous, although he's been in hiding ever since he lost power," Dumbledore sighed. "Voldemort killed many people when he was still at large. But one day, a very curious thing happened. . ."
Dumbledore explained Harry Potter and what had happened his first and second year. He also mentioned how dangerous Hogwarts had become ever since Harry started attending, and how now there was a man that escaped from Azkaban, and how it was rumored that he was going after Harry. Artemis sat back and let it all sink in, feeling, for the first time, very uninformed.
"I know you've already thought of this, but you will be behind the other students your age. Though, judging by your intelligence, I'm sure you will be able to catch up," Dumbledore smiled, a sparkle in his eye. Artemis nodded confidently.
"Of course, sir," Artemis nodded respectfully. Dumbledore slapped his thigh.
"And now for the Sorting Hat," Dumbledore pulled a strange looking hat from behind some books and set it on Artemis' head. Immediately, Artemis could feel it moving, which was very strange indeed. Artemis uncomfortably fidgeted.
"Well, this one isn't going to be easy," The Hat remarked to himself.
"Ravenclaws are intelligent, like this one. Not very Gryffindor-like, are you? Not much courage. Hufflepuff, well . . . I'd be betting wrong," The hat mumbled on for a while.
"I'm going to have to go with SLYTHERIN!" The hat boomed. Dumbledore hastily pulled the hat off, and it immediately stopped talking. Artemis tried to hide his look of puzzlement. Slytherin, he remembered the conversation he had with Draco Malfoy. He sat wondering about the clash that he would have with Draco, now daily, because he was in the same house. In the midst of this, Dumbledore put his hand on Artemis' shoulder.
"I will introduce you to the Slytherin leader, Professor Snape. He will be teaching your potions class," Dumbledore sounded less buddy-buddy with Artemis now, suddenly getting down to business. Artemis nodded and stood, wondering where this man's glimmer had gone.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Dumbledore had prepared the Ministry of Magic to reaccept Lemony into the magical world, since Lemony had been spending so much time in the muggle world. Lemony's magical talent was long expended and he old wand was in shambles. The oak wood was notched and slowly splintering. Mr. Snicket had attended Hogwarts way back in the day, as a Hufflepuff. He had long forgotten the spells, the charms, the magical physics, and his envy of the Marauders. They were fifth years when he was a first year, but he had heard so many wondrous tales about their adventures.
Lemony looked at his new desk at the Daily Prophet, which didn't look so different from the Daily Punctilio. As far as Lemony was concerned, he was doing Dumbledore a favor as much as he was doing a favor for Lemony. Mr. Snicket was after the whereabouts of Count Olaf, and Dumbledore wanted someone who would help turn the Daily Prophet around, just as Lemony had tried to do with the Daily Punctilio. From what Lemony could tell, both papers were highly unreliable and masses of people believed them. He had been explained what kind of slandering the Daily Prophet had engaged in, just for profit. Journalism ethics were being burned at the stake. Lemony set down his black leather messenger bag, carrying circled articles from the Daily Prophet and a few copies of the Quibbler.
He sat down at his desk and pulled out his cased type writer. He rolled in a piece of paper and started writing his first impressions of the two magical papers. His mind had to get up and running before he could start researching claims. Before long, his eye caught on a tiny little beetle beside his typewriter. Lemony, not liking insects much, flicked it off and went back to typing. He smiled as he typed, but no more than ten minutes later, a disheveled woman stormed into his office.
He looked up at her curiously.
"Can I help you?" he asked, now feeling out of place. She seemed almost livid. Although, Lemony wasn't quite sure why. He her was messily place, and her thin glasses made her nose seem pointed, like an arrow.
"My name is Rita Skeeter, and I'd like to have you know that . . . If there's any questions you want answered, I'll help you. Someone non-magical like you will probably have a great deal of misunderstanding," She seemed to hint something. Lemony had already gotten the wrong idea of her, just bursting in, making him feel like he was inferior. He expected as much, from what he heard from Dumbledore and how many articles she usually had in one paper.
"Well, I'll have you know that I am magical," Lemony mocked her figure of speech.
"You used to write for a muggle newspaper! And your ideas were no less than mad. The Ministry should've put you with the Quibbler! The Daily Prophet is a respectable newspaper, one that doesn't need your sort!" She spat. Lemony was thrown by her hostility.
"It doesn't need anyone of my sort because they have enough already! The Daily Prophet is as much out there for profit as the Quibbler! At least the Quibbler is open minded and makes me laugh!" Lemony sneered. Rita seemed as if she would explode.
"Don't you dare insult my publication!" Rita screeched.
"It's obvious that it's yours! It has "bullshit" written all over it!" Lemony went back to typing. Rita stormed off. Lemony then thought, this isn't going to be good for business.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Artemis had heard several younger students speaking of the boy who had passed out on the train. The word was that he was spending the night in the hospital wing, and then he wondered why he wasn't, unless this was some sort of special case. Artemis reasoned that if he was in any danger, the headmaster would certainly see to it that he would be taken care of. Fowl followed Snape, the disgruntled looking Potions teacher, down the corridors of Hogwarts. Artemis starred in wonder at the moving paintings, and then realized how boring still paintings were. He wondered if that painters had hexed it, in order to make the beings inside of it come alive. People from one painting could move to the next and visit the other people, as if they were like neighbors with one room houses. Artemis found Hogwarts to be enchanting. This was well worth getting over his fear of syringes.
He noticed that Snape didn't speak at all, besides murmuring "this way". He walked with an interesting stride, that made him seem like he had important business to do. Artemis considered copying the walk, but he reasoned against it.
Artemis felt a familiar feeling to Snape. The dark hair, the dark stare, just his presence felt like how Artemis hoped his father would be like. The two of them came to a large painting and Snape looked at him, wondering if the Irish boy knew what was next, but doubted it.
"This is the way into the Slytherin house. You say the password and it opens. If you forget the password, you cannot go in," Snape spoke obviously. Artemis nodded, waiting for the password. "For now, the password is 'liverwort'. The password changes every week or so," Snape turned on his heels and walked away from the corridors. Artemis sighed. The painting opened at Snape's command, and Artemis walked up the stairs to find his bed.
The Slytherins spotted him coming up the stairs, not expecting someone to arrive so late. Very few other Slytherins were at the libraries at the time. Everyone else was socializing in the common room. Artemis tried to ignore their stares, but he stopped as if he was yanked at the sound of someone calling his name.
"Artemis Fowl," A boy sneered. Artemis slowly turned around to find Draco Malfoy, smiling at him with intent, Crabbe and Goyle backing him up. Artemis puffed up his chest.
"Draco Malfoy," Artemis replied, in an emotionless tone. Draco walked toward him with a snicker. Artemis wasn't sure what he was going to do, since he felt a tad intimidated by the three boys. Draco stopped once he was a foot away from Artemis, but Fowl showed no sign of his nervousness. Instead, he starred Draco down.
"Welcome to the Slytherin house. We're all family here," Draco said, holding out a hand, sounding rather contradictory. Artemis didn't act.
"I thought you didn't touch mud bloods. I'm sure you wouldn't want to get any of my filth on your hands," Artemis looked disgusted at Draco's hand. Draco breathed in deeply.
"Obviously, there's something you don't know. All Slytherins are purebloods," Draco let his hand fall to his side, realizing that Artemis was not convinced. "Hadn't your parents ever told you?"
Artemis thought about it. His was too young to talk on an intelligent basis with his father, and then his mother was. . . His father had been . . . Missing. And his mother was clinically insane. But wouldn't they have told him? Wouldn't he had seen or known something to be magical? Or did some wizards put away their abilities and become muggles? Did that happen?
"Both of my parents are too indisposed to have told me," Artemis replied carefully. Draco knew not to question this, at least not in front of Goyle and Crabbe. There was something about Artemis that made him want to know more, possibly be his acquaintance. But the way his first impression had been, that might not come easily.
Draco nodded, pretending to understand.
"Well, goodnight," Draco turned around and walked away. Goyle and Crabbe stupidly followed, as if Draco had their brains controlled. Artemis backed away into the sleep quarters of the house. Everything was dimly lit, it was a wonder anything was ever accomplished in the right lighting.
Artemis found an empty bed that had his belongings lying next to it. There was a window in the room, and another bed, which also had belongings next to it, but no one appeared to have seen it yet. Artemis didn't like the fact that he had to share his living space with someone else, but he figured it wouldn't matter too much. He wanted to spend most of his time in the library, after having read his class books, and finding them more than interesting. His favorite was A History of Magic and a book on the study of Muggles, from a wizards perspective. The lives of wizards were so completely different from his life. Artemis laid out his cloak and clothing out for the next day. His owl, now named Multice (Mul-tee-ss), had already fallen asleep. Artemis dressed into his pajamas and nestled in.
Almost an hour later (Artemis guessed it was about 1 AM for muggle time), his roommate came in and said "Lumos" in order to see where he was going. Artemis, hoping this would not be a routine thing, turned around to see who it was.
Draco Malfoy.
Artemis turned back over, knowing this would be an issue in the morning.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Despite the late night, Artemis' biological clock woke him at seven precisely. He gathered up his clothes and towel and headed for the boy's shower room, which was surprisingly empty. Artemis wondered if any Slytherins were up at this time. Judging by the ones he had met this far, he decided they were probably lazy folk, and he began to wonder why he was placed in this house.
And that remark about his family being wizards. . . Could his mother and father be wizards? If so, why wasn't he showing magical talents without the medicine from Foaly? Artemis lathered the citrus soap in his hair, feeling comfort in the hot water hitting his back. He concluded that he would make a visit to the library after breakfast. Or perhaps ask a professor, like Snape, since he was the Slytherin teacher. For now, Artemis decided to put everything behind him.
Artemis pulled his Slytherin colored tie tightly to his collar and grabbed his black bag with his Dark Arts book and supplies for his first class. He didn't want to return to the dormitory, only to avoid a confrontation with Malfoy this early in the morning.
The dining hall had a few people from each house eating this early. Artemis looked around, not recognizing any of them, not that he would. It was better this way, he reasoned. I'm not here to make friends. Artemis sat down and grabbed an English muffin and some grape jam. He ate with such stunning posture, any normal kid would gape at him, because it would seem inhuman. He took a sip of pumpkin juice (which was stunningly new and delicious to him) and was quickly off to the library. Several people noticed how quickly he had come and left, but no one thought much of it.
Artemis found the library to be more impressive that he first imagined. Artemis figured the magical world was small in scope, but the fact alone that there were so many books proved that they had remained a very secretive society, one that had fooled millions of people.
Artemis Fowl understood that the more interesting half of the library was closed to him, but he had so much reading on his hands that it would be a while before his curiosity would bring him to the forbidden section.
He picked a book about the history of Hogwarts and sat down at a table with it. The first few chapters were about the lives of the headmasters, Dumbeldore being one of them. But before he could read about Dumbledore's life, Artemis' eyes were drawn to a Gryffindor girl with bushy hair and a rather attractive face. Artemis carefully and sparingly glanced at her reading and scribbling down notes. He found that there was something poetic about writing with a quill rather than typing on a computer or writing with a pencil. Not that he liked it more. It had been a while since the last time Artemis had a callus on his finger.
Artemis found himself immediately attracted to the girl, but he had always had a policy about girls. A girl would disturb his studies and most likely get into his wallet. He remembered a term he had heard on the streets of Dublin. Something about a "gold digger". (We all know the only reason why he could remember that is because of the word "gold" in it.)
Artemis shook his head and continued reading, but he was distracted by her. She looked so wrapped up in her studies. Maybe, Artemis thought, we could be friends . . . To study with each other. She looks my age.
Artemis Fowl was no stranger to his own mentality. Something would not stop bothering him unless he came up with an idea to subside it. So Artemis picked up his book and walked over to where she was sitting.
Hermione Granger looked up at the dark, cool eyes of a boy she had never seen before. She noticed the Slytherin colors on his tie, and immediately became suspicious of him.
"Yes?" She asked, in a rather snobbish way. She was no stranger to a Slytherin.
Artemis, personally, felt like he had done something wrong. Had he come on too strong? Was it wrong of him to not have addressed himself right away? Did he look too angry? Artemis' insides curled up, wondering what he could've possibly done to make her seem so . . . Angry. But then again, he had heard about how some girls were very moody, for no reason. If this girl was like that, Artemis definitely didn't want to get involved with her. But, for the sake of not being rude, he continued with his plan.
"I . . . I'm new here, even though I'm a third year. You seem like you care about your studies," Artemis swallowed hard. "I was wondering, if you're not too busy, if you could tell me some basic things that everyone else knows." Artemis played the "I'm just a little blue-eyed bunny who is lost in a big scary world" personality. The girl seemed a little stunned by what he said. She thought for a few moments and then looked back up at him.
"Sure," she blushed slightly. Artemis pulled up a chair across from her. "What would you like to know?"
"Well, everything. But I do have one specific question. Is it at all possible that if two wizards have . . . An offspring, could that offspring be non magical?" He asked. She nodded.
"Yes. Here in the magic world, we call them Squibs. They are usually rare, but they do happen," Hermione didn't ask why he was asking this question, since it wasn't her business. Artemis nodded. He looked up, and became embarrassed.
"I'm sorry. My name is Artemis Fowl," Artemis sighed. Hermione smiled at him. Artemis' heart skipped slightly.
"I'm Hermione Granger. And I'm a Gryffindor," She seemed to be reminding him. Artemis nodded, recognizing the colors on her emblem.
"I'm a Slytherin," He stated dumbly. Hermione giggled.
"I know. I guess you don't have many friends there, though," she half smiled. Artemis titled his head.
"And what do you mean by that?" He asked, playing along for the moment.
"Slytherins and Gryffindors house rivals. And even when a Slytherin doesn't have any friends in their house, they don't go making friends with Gryffindors," Hermione picked up her things and appeared to have been leaving. Artemis wondered at this.
"So what are you saying? You don't want to be my friend because I made it into the Slytherin house?" he asked, a little disappointed. She started walking away from him.
"I just thought you should know," She turned around and smiled at him teasingly. Artemis smirked and followed her.
-.-.-.-.-.-
The first of Artemis' classes was certainly not one to base first impressions upon. He stepped in to find a cozy abode, turned classroom. Opium incense dangled in the air, silks from India covered tables and cupboards. Artemis found that it reminded him of the sprite in Ho Chi Minh City. The room was far too warm, and musky. There were only a few other students in the room now, since he had decided to come early. He sat at a small table, alone. The table had a beautiful blue and golden trimmed cloth. Artemis gingerly put his Divinations book on the table and waited for the rest of the students to arrive.
The room filled quickly. It seemed that students arrived at the very same time, just minutes before the class was to begin. Artemis opened to the first page of the book, looking to see what kind of class this would be. He caught a glimpse of palm reading and crystal ball nonsense. Artemis furrowed his eyebrows, knowing that this sort of stuff was rubbish. He quickly closed his book when the tables around him started to fill up.
Two boys sat in the table directly in front of him. One had flaming red hair and the other had a pair of glasses that reminded him of a stereotypical nerd. He tried not to eaves drop, but the red headed one mentioned something about "scabbers", which made Artemis wonder. He had never heard the term before.
"Where is she?" the red haired boy asked. The other boy shrugged. A mysterious voice came from somewhere.
"Welcome. How nice to see you in the physical world at last," A woman, as her voice quivered. Artemis resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
A funny looking woman stepped in. Her hair was estranged, everywhere. Her glasses magnified her searching eyes. She was dressed like a fortune teller. Artemis had hoped this school wouldn't reflect stereotypes (he always found that to be interesting), but so far, everything was exact. The robes, the pointed hats, he had even seen some broomsticks, assuming they were for flying.
Artemis realized that the girl from the library was sitting with the two boys in front of him. His heart jumped a little, but then he focused his mind on the teacher.
"Welcome to Divination," the woman began, who had seated herself in a winged armchair in front of the fire. "My name is Professor Trelawney. You may not have seen me before. I find that descending too often into the hustle and bustle of the main school clouds my Inner Eye."
Artemis held back a snicker this time. Her over zealous tone seemed to make him take this school less seriously. Professor Trelawney continued to idly talk about the class, meanwhile, he interest was lost. He watched Hermione in front of him. Suddenly, the woman addressed a boy sitting by one of the first tables. He looked up, worried. Artemis studied this.
"You boy. Is your grandmother well?" She asked, as if making it clear as to what she was about to say. The boy seemed taken off guard.
"I . . . I think so," the boy replied, and Trelawney shook her head.
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, dear," She grimaced fakely. Artemis raised an eye brow, wondering if anyone in the class was taking this seriously. After more preparation, Trelawney made a prediction of someone's disappearance, and Artemis, this time, did snicker a little. Hermione looked behind her, and gave him an approving look.
Artemis lost a little of his arrogance once Trelawney had predicted that Neville was to break her china. He reasoned quickly that it could have been a coincidence, considering the boy was obviously nervous at the threat of his grandmother's health. In fact, everyone in the class seemed to stop as she had predicted this tiny incident.
Fowl poured tea into his cup, swirled the dregs, and emptied the cup. The filterings at the bottom seemed to be in a difficult manner. Artemis consulted his book to understand what he was seeing, but nothing came to him. The two boys in front of him were joking around about "needing their Inner Eye tested". Artemis was glad to know that he wasn't the only one to not take this seriously.
Trelawney quickly moved to Hermione's table and inspected the cup from boy with the glasses. She let him know that his cup was filled with horrible signs. First, a deadly enemy, then an attack, then danger in his path, and then death. Artemis ignored it and looked back at his boring cup. There was a brown blob that remotely looked like a lion . . . Or a jelly fish. Artemis slammed his cup down, finding this to be silly, a ridiculous way to read the future. Just as his cup clinked on the table, another cup shattered on the ground. Artemis found that it was the same boy that had broken his other cup.
"I don't think it looks like a Grim," Hermione spoke up. Artemis watched her again. Trelawney had a look of distaste for Hermione.
"You'll forgive me for saying so, my dear, but I perceive very little aura around you. Very little receptivity to the resonances of the future," Trelawney was clearly pretending to be polite about the matter. Hermione seemed shocked, and Artemis also felt some sort of hostility from Trelawney. At this, Trelawney dismissed the class. Artemis was quick to be at Hermione's side.
"Ridiculous class, if you ask me," Artemis spoke suavely. Hermione remained silent. They walked from the stairs from the tower, books in hand. Artemis was hoping she would speak.
He found that his next class, he would be with Hermione again. It was a class called Transfiguration, which Artemis thought sounded much more interesting than Divination. In that class, he realized that the teacher, Professor McGonagall, found Divinations to be a joke. Artemis was now expecting this class to be absolutely serious. After all, he had seen his McGonagall turn into a tabby cat in front of his eyes.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Artemis had always enjoyed the Ireland country side, but something about Britain made him feel like he was back at home. The grass was too green not stare at, so he walked to his Care of Magical Creatures class with his eyes on his feet. The two boys from Divinations walked behind him a few feet. The two of them seemed very close, like life long mates. Artemis felt a tinge of desire to be part of their group, which was a very strange feeling for Artemis. He had never had any friends his age before. He certainly questioned why he felt like this. Something very strange, indeed.
Fowl came to a beautiful wooded area, where the large caretaker stood, waiting for his whole class to arrive. Artemis spotted Hermione in the small crowd and quietly stood beside her. She looked at him and smiled. A few more people arrived, and Hagrid started his lesson. Artemis was interrupted in Hagrid's speech by Ron.
"Just think, not too long from now, we'll be in Potions, getting ripped on by Snape. I feel like gagging already," Ron whispered hastily. Hermione said nothing. Artemis looked at Ron.
"I could help you. I've already read through much of my Potions book and found it to be much like chemistry, which I excel in," Artemis stated. This was no new news to him. Potions was too similar to chemistry, which Artemis was a genius at. Artemis even understated the fact that he was theoretically good at potions. Artemis was wondering what had made him offer his help. When was the last time he did that?
Ron seemed to recoil at the fact that Artemis was talking to him. Harry also seemed confused. Without seeming interested, Hermione listened to what Ron and Harry would do.
"Could you say that again?" Ron asked. Artemis wondered if the red headed boy had heard him correctly, or if he was being sarcastic.
"I was offering you my help in potions," Artemis furrowed his eyebrows unconsciously. Ron sneered.
"And you would," Ron said mockingly. Harry looked at Artemis, and could tell he was being literal. He nudged Ron in the side to get him to stop before he went on a tirade.
"Ron, with your previous grades, you could use the help, regardless of who helps you," Hermione quietly giggled. Artemis smiled at her joke. Ron squinted his eyes at Artemis, as if he was inspecting him.
"And you're serious?" Ron asked in disbelief. Harry cut in.
"You're a Slytherin," He said quietly. Artemis felt prejudiced against for one of the first times.
"Yes," Artemis seemed to retort using the one word. Ron nodded.
"Well, could you come by tonight after classes?" Harry asked, taking assertive action, realizing that Ron was not quite sure about Artemis yet. Artemis nodded courteously. He turned around to face Hagrid. Hermione smiled up at Artemis, who then smiled back.
A few moments later, everyone stepped back from Harry when Hagrid asked for a volunteer to ride Buckbeak. Artemis found it a very daunting name, and didn't want any broken bones here, because he was unsure of the medical care in the magical world.
Harry approached the Hippogriff with caution. Draco crossed his arms and insulted Harry (something about fainting and a dementor), which the Slytherins supported with a laugh, with the exception of Artemis. Hermione was glad he didn't join in.
"Why does that boy give me a headache every time he opens his ugly mouth?" Artemis rubbed his temples.
"I've seen better looking stink worms. Not to mention nicer smelling," Ron whispered between Artemis and Hermione. The two of them snickered. Draco heard this from a distance and walked up to Artemis, while Harry was now airborne on Buckbeak. The group clapped.
"What was that, weasel?" Draco asked, Crabbe and Goyle coming up from behind him. Artemis stared at Draco with cold eyes.
"I recall him saying something about your face being a tad bit more disgusting than a troll's arse," Artemis crossed his arms. Draco's jaw dropped. Ron was nearly in stitches, the same for everyone except the Slytherin bunch.
"What was that, Artemis?" Draco said his name syrupy. "Isn't that a girl's name? Was your gender mistaken at birth?" Artemis scoffed. As if he hadn't heard that one before, although it wasn't often he was insulted.
"As a matter of fact, Artemis is a bisexual name. Bisexual means either a girl OR boy's name. And if you'd like, I'd gladly drop my pants to prove just how wrong the doctor's could've been," Artemis almost seemed to hiss. This last part was not true. He would leave his pants on, that was sure.
"Talk is cheap, Fowl," Draco sneered.
"You could easily be mistaken for a girl, Fowl," Draco showed a horrible, toothy smile. Artemis felt thoroughly disgusted and pulled his fist back to punch Malfoy (although, Artemis knew logic was the only was to solve adult arguments, sometimes, physical violence was the only resort to a school boy feud). But before he could let loose, Hermione grabbed hold of his arm. Artemis immediately stopped. She looked at him with fiery eyes and then at Draco.
In a massive turn of events, she punched Draco in the stomach. Artemis' eyes widened, as did Ron. They both almost laughed, just as Harry landed on Buckbeak. The crowd burst out in applause and laughter from what a girl had just done to Malfoy. Ron and Hermione ran out to Potter. Artemis watched Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle move away from the crowd, huddling together, whispering. Artemis didn't like how secretive they were. Ron, Hermione, and Harry walked back to the crowd of students.
"Would anyone else like to try?" Hagrid offered, knowing that he would not get as lucky with the next student as he did with Harry. Draco stomped out towards Buckbeak, and Hagrid started pleading with a determined Malfoy. Artemis, Harry, Ron and Hermione all watched, knowing Draco would ruin this for everyone else.
Buckbeak threw Malfoy to the ground, and Draco immediately started crying and holding his arm. Hagrid got control of Buckbeak and went to see the damage.
A soft wind swept through the trees as the four watched Hagrid carry Draco to the school, whilst Draco never relented to yell at Hagrid, and threaten him with the trouble he'd be in. Harry kicked the ground.
"Leave it to that git to ruin Hagrid's class," Harry swore under his breath. Ron bit his lip and looked up at Artemis.
"I know you're in the Slytherin house, but do you honestly respect that whelp?" Ron asked Artemis. Artemis understood the rivalry of Gryffindor and Slytherin, so he let it go for now.
"Absolutely not. In fact, he's my least favorite of the bunch, which is saying something," Artemis watched Hagrid and Draco disappear. Ron nodded.
"You're okay . . . For a Slytherin," Ron said reluctantly. Artemis smiled a little.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Butler became impatient with the progress. Foaly had promised he would let Butler know when Artemis had reported to him. But it had been a week now, and Butler had started cleaning his gun only to relieve nervous tension. He walked down the wide staircase to the kitchen, where he could smell Juliet or Miss Fowl making dinner. It smelled like . . . Chili. Juliet had always been good with chili, but no one in the Manor seemed to like such a food. Butler was relieved at this.
"Hey Dom," She called and kept stirring. Butler smiled at her.
"How is Mrs. Fowl doing?" He asked, always using the title Mrs. when talking to someone. Butler was not about to get his hopes up that Mr. Fowl was alive, although he hoped Artemis Senior was still alive, as unlikely as it was. Juliet nodded.
"She's been doing better since. . . Well . . . You know," Juliet referred to meeting fairies a few months prior. Butler nodded in agreement. There was a silence that loomed in the air for a few moments before Butler decided to let her know his feelings.
"I think that Artemis is going to try to find his father, if he hasn't been already," Butler seemed worried. Juliet looked up at him and grimaced.
"He certainly does have the resources," Juliet smirked, wondering if Artemis really could find his father and return him to the household. Now wouldn't that be a great adventure, Juliet entertained thoughts.
-.-.-.-.-
Artemis found dinner time at Hogwarts to be much better than at any private school he had ever been to. The food magically appeared on the tables. It was obvious to Artemis that there would be no caviar, but the food that was available wasn't too bad. He found it to be the most sanitary buffet he'd ever known. Two boys across from him stuffed their faces with pork, not bothering to stop and clean off their faces. Artemis winced. Draco had noticed that Artemis was looking at Crabbe and Goyle with wide eyes. Draco smiled slyly.
"Beastly, aren't they?" Draco moved his plate next to Artemis'. He scooted over, and Artemis wondered if he was just going to cause trouble. If that was the case, Artemis would move somewhere else.
"Quite," Artemis replied shortly. Draco shifted, watching how perfect Artemis' posture was. After a few moments, Draco spoke again.
"My god, you're a stiff," he retorted. Artemis looked at him with a blank stare. What the bloody hell could I have done to him to make him so annoying? Artemis gingerly cut his ham into tiny bits and ate daintily, especially in comparison to Crabbe, whom was making an idiot of himself. It was almost as if he had never eaten in his life. Draco struggled to keep a conversation with the Irish boy. He visibly revealed his arm in a sling, but Artemis ignored this too.
"Did you find Divinations as dreadful as I did?" Draco asked, over hearing Artemis mention it to Hermione. Artemis knew this, because he had caught Malfoy in the corner of his eye at that time.
"Quite," Artemis repeated, trying to let Draco know that he wasn't interested in conversation. Draco seemed to ignore this aspect.
"Trelawney is a nutter. I'm going to tell my father about her, maybe get her off the staff," Draco sneered. Artemis grimaced.
"How very boyish of you to run to your father about something so pithy," Artemis sipped his pumpkin juice. Draco glared at him, and ended the awkward conversation.
-.-.-.-.-
The next day, Artemis finally got a taste of Snape's lessons. He seemed fine until he forced Ron to cut some ingredients for Draco, and then yelled at him for it. Artemis cut his own daisy roots. His ingredients were just as they were supposed to be, said the book. Artemis was not especially keen on cutting up caterpillars, but he followed the directions, and his Shrinking Potion turned out absolutely perfect. Artemis found this to be easy, because all someone had to do was follow directions. How could anyone fail this class? Yet, the nervous boy from Divinations, know known as Neville, had turned his potion orange. Snape seemed to strike fear into the poor boy, as Artemis realized. Hermione offered her help, and as Artemis smiled at this, Snape yelled at her for it. Artemis shrugged, wondering if Snape was just having a bad day, ignoring what Ron had said the day before about him.
"Hey, Harry," a boy named Seamus Finnigan leaned over to Harry, "have you heard? Daily Prophet this morning, they reckon Sirius Black's been sighted."
"Where?" Harry and Ron asked quickly. Artemis and Malfoy listened in on their conversation closely.
"Not too far from here," Seamus whispered, looking quit thrilled with himself. "It was a Muggle who saw him. 'Course, she didn't really understand. The Muggles think he's just an ordinary criminal, don't they? So she phoned the telephone hot line. By the time the Ministry of Magic got there, he was gone."
"Not too far from here. . ." Ron repeated. Artemis wondered what Sirius had done to get so much attention. He figured the man was probably just a common criminal, like in his world. But if there was something significant about this man, he WAS a wizard, maybe the two of them would cross paths one day. . . Maybe. . .
Draco's whiny voice pierced through his thoughts.
"If it were me, I'd want revenge," He said. Harry seemed confused.
"What are you talking about?" He asked. Snape interrupted the conversation, letting everyone know that their potions should be completed. Snape continued to torment Neville be threatening him with his toad. Artemis suddenly realized that Snape was a controlling sicko. But this would not get in the way of his studies. He found that he was good at potions, not only theoretically now. He was also now planning to work with Hermione, Harry, and Ron on a report Snape had assigned on liverworts. Artemis enjoyed writing papers, since it came relatively easy to him.
-.-.-.-.-
Professor Lupin stood before a large wooden cabinent wardrobe that sounded as if something resided in it. It shook and quivered, and the students wondered what was in it. Artemis starred at it curiously, in a collective group of students. Hermione leaned over to Artemis.
"It's a boggart. I heard Professor Lupin talking to Professor McGonagall today about it. I'm not sure how to defeat them, but from what I've read, they transform into your greatest fear," Hermione informed him. Artemis shook his head and scratched his chin in thought.
Lupin explained just that and coached Neville about how to defeat it. Ron lightly jabbed Harry in the ribs with his elbow and looked at Hermione talking with a Slytherin.
"Look at her. . . All matey with the enemy. What is she at?" Ron asked. Harry wondered why this was getting Ron annoyed. Harry acted nonchalant.
"It just proves our theory about her bais with attractive guys. Lockhart, him, who was the other guy?" Harry asked. Ron shrugged.
After Neville had successfully turned a bad thing worse, everyone hurried into a line. Artemis managed to get to a close spot at the front. After the students in front of him went, Artemis was eager to find out what his greatest fear was, since he couldn't really think of a major one. Death maybe? His mother finding out how much school at St. Bartleby's he had actually missed? What?
The boggart turned into a man with short, black hair (like Artemis'), who was lying on the floor, blood seeping out of a wound in his shoulder. Was that his father? Was that the man that was dead? He was dead? Before Artemis could fully assess the situation, he shouted "riddikulus!" and the body was replaced with lollipops. Few nervously laughed at this, wondering what was seriously going through Artemis' mind. Then, Ron went with his fear of spiders.
Harry was ready to go up, but Lupin jumped in the way, and the boggart turned into a dark night sky, with a stationary moon. Hermione and Artemis were some of the few that wondered why Lupin was afraid of the moon. They looked at each other before Lupin managed to dismiss class hastily.
Everyone else was all chatter about what they had just accomplished, how proud they felt, how fun it was. Hermione and Artemis walked back to their dormitories together, knowing that the both of them were thinking about it.
"I wonder why Professor Lupin would be afraid of the night," Hermione spoke up. Artemis nodded.
"Or perhaps he's afraid of the darkness. I guess that wouldn't be so unusual," Artemis commented. Hermione nodded, holding her books closer to her chest.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
After a few days of these classes, Artemis found that Ron and Hermione were easy to anger with each other, and eventually, Hermione found herself spending more time with Artemis. Harry had tried to be the peace keeper among the two, but his attempts were failed ones.
Artemis sat in the Gryffindor common room, wondering if he was allowed in. Crookshanks, a long haired, orange cat purred softly on his lap. Their common room was much better lit than the Slytherin common room. Hermione sat next to him, doing her Arithmancy homework. Artemis had already finished his homework for the night. Harry was away at Quidditch practice, and Ron was obviously avoiding Hermione.
"Did you come from a Muggle family?" Artemis asked, breaking the comforting silence. Hermione looked up at him.
"Yes. Both of my parents are Muggles, and they were very proud to know that I am a witch," Hermione wrote something else down. Artemis nodded.
"How about your parents?" She asked. Artemis cautiously approached this.
"I don't know. I really haven't spoken to them in a while," He replied. Hermione seemed curious, but didn't ask any further questions. Artemis smiled, hoping that someday, he would know his father.
The only memory that Artemis could muster wasn't a vivid one. He could remember his mother, his father, and Butler walking down an adorable street, with tiny little shops, other families walking about, the air clean and cool. It wasn't Dublin, he knew. They had taken a plane there. The colors were like a carnival almost. His father's voice had faded in Artemis' head, but he could still remember what he had said.
"Want some candy, Arty? There's a place just down this street," He father said. His mother's smile was a faded one, but Artemis still knew. Her summer dressed was covered in what he thought were daisies. Butler walked behind them, looking around, paranoid.
The candy store was equally as colorful, with a strange, turning invention in the window. On the window was the name of the shop, but Artemis' memory had failed him in what it was called. The letters were yellow and enchanting looking. The store's scent was sugary.
Artemis tore from his memory, wondering if he should hold onto it or not.