"Come on Marluxie!" Axel whined, waving his Moomba plushie to and fro.
"NO." Marluxia shouted, attempting to walk to his room without further distractions. Axel was one hell of a distraction for the flower-man, and Marluxia was in no mood. He heard that Larxene had let Axel run rambid in his private garden. Sheesh, all he had done was give her a few pointers on how to look more femine...
"PUH-LEEZE."Axel wasn't giving up this easily. "Moombie and me want a BBQ! We hunger for the flesh of small defenceless animals!"
"For the last goddamn time Axel, NO. YOU WILL NOT HOLD A BARBEQUE. PERIOD." Marluxia was fuming, stomping quickly into his room. Larxene had better been lying when she told him what she supposedly did to his precious garden. He walked through his room and out another door into a small courtyard, his garden. Or was.
It was now barren, completely devoid of life except for several rocks. On fire. Errr... they're magic rocks. Magic living rocks. "AAAAARGHHH!" They gurgled like the magic talking rocks they are "WE AM IS ON FIAH!"
"Gar!" Marluxia roared, kicking the rocks only to hurt his toe.
"SO," Axel burst into the room, "Damn what happened here?"
"YOU DID THIS!" Marluxia cried, literally blubbering "YOU KILLED MY BEUTIFULL GARDEN!"
"Are you sure it wasn't the rocks?" Axel asked, clutching Moombie to his chest. Of course, Axel really wasn't the one who did it. See, earlier that day...
"I'm bored." Said Vexen, well... boredly. "I think I'll set fire to Marluxia's garden." SO HE DID.
"I CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL COMBAT!" Marluxia cried, because he was too pissed to think right now. His bootyfull garden was on fire and rocks were talking to him for no real reason, and he just broke a nail!
"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Axel cried, spinning around in circles because he really didn't know what Mortal Combat was.
"Why don't we settle this PEACEFULLY?" One of the rocks said, for some strange reason it was Vexen's voice inside the rock.
"OHMAHGODBBQILIKEDUCKSWHOEEESIEEET?" Axel began to scream because he's supposed to be comic relief in this story and the author was really too tired to think of any wittier jokes so she just sort of put random crap down like this.
"ARGH." Marluxia kicked the rock, and Vexen cried out. "THAT'S IT. I AM GOING TO KILL THE AUTHOR."
"I can help!" Said a voice out of nowhere and the author's imaginary friend Mooshie popped out of nowhere. "I know where she lives."
"Who are you?" Marluxia asked the partially bald demon.
"I am Mooshie the demon and I share the same hatred of the author as you." Mooshie nodded a little because he did. "She constantly degrades me and overall is pretty obnoxious. Plus her spelling sucks."
"Spelling is important." Marluxia noted. "Okay, We'll all go together to find and brutally murder the author. But where is she?"
"Come on. She lives just past the fourth wall."
"Fourth wall?" Axel asked, who was holding the rock-Vexen. Don't ask me why Vexen is a rock. It was the darkness. His soul was so dark and angsty that he turned into a rock. That must mean Zexion is a boulder.
"Yup." Mooshie said, falling back to walk next to Axel. Yeah, they've been walking ever since Mooshie said 'she lives just past the fourth wall.'
"HAY." Vexen cried when he noticed Mooshie stealing glances at Axel's ass, "THAT'S MINE."
"YOUR'S!" Marluxia yelled angrily, attempting to slap the rock but hurting his hand in the process. "Axel, take off your pants." It was a seemingly harmless request, and Axel obliged. Mooshie and Marluxia both stared at his uncovered read end, wile the rock was still held firmly against Axel's chest.
"When did you do that?" Mooshie asked, of course reffering to the words tatooed across the two cheeks; PROPERTY OF MARLUXIA! don't touch! that means you Roxas!
"The other day. I promised Axel I'd give him a nickel if he look off his pants and held really still for a wile." Marluxia chuckled at the memory.
"Dayumn." Mooshie said, turning into a gangster for no apparent reason. "Yoyoyo, I'd tap THAT."
"EXCUSE ME." Anda burst through the wall of Castle Oblivion, flustered and angry. For those who don't know, which is all of you, Anda is Mooshie's boyfriend.
"I LOVE YOU ANDA." Mooshie cried, slinging his arm over the half-angel's shoulder and batting his eyelashes.
"This is getting ridiculus." Said the real Mooshie, who was standing behind the author as she typed. "Just because you're a dumbass doesn't mean I am!" The author just laughed and laughed. BUT She was distracted and Mooshie leaned over her and began to type. Thenshe died a horribly and untimely death and everyone danced. And he decided to give the fans what they really wanted.
"Axel... no..." The amber-haired boy could scarcely utter a whimper to the other man, who remained silent. The room was dark, he could taste the heat in the air. But inside he felt cold, chills radiating through his bones. "Axel... please, this isn't..." His grip on the sheets tightened as heuttered a strangled cry, feeling Axel-
MEANWHILE IN THE WORLD THAT NEVER WAS!
"I'm bored." Whined Xemnas from his chair. He was sitting in a random room in the World that Never Was. For some reason, everyone else I ignored in the first chapter was there too. Because I mean, Saix is just too tall not to have his own chapter. Or be in his own chapter along with various other peoples.
"We could think of more emo names for the rooms in the castle." Xigbar suggested "We've got a few more places we haven't named."
"Lets place strip poker." Luxord sugested, looking up from his game of Solitare. That's a one-person game, right? Yeah, cause the only card games the author knows are Black Jack and Clock/Dial.
"Nah." Xemnas shrugged a bit. "How 'bout Strip Black Jack?" Because, like I said...
"Okay!" Luxord was one of the few straight men in the Order, but the other men's catcalls made him feel pretty.
"You guys in?" Xemnas looked around the room at Xigbar, Xaldin, Saix, Lexaeaouaeis and Vexen. Yes, Vexen was there. Why? Because he shacks up with Saix. OBVIOUSLY.
"Me in." Lex-habledelblahblah said like that guy from Emperor's New School. You know, the one who was gonna beat up Kuzco in that episode because he was making fun of him? Heheh. That was a funny episode. I like when Kuzco said, "Me happy. You Jane." Heheheh. I think his name was Habbo or something. Kabo? hm...
"I'm in. Duuuude." Xigbar said, because he has the funniest voice ever. He talks funny.
"Me too." Said Xaldin with a fart. He IS wind...
"...MMYES." Saix nodded JUST like that british guy in Family Guy who took over the Drunken Clam in that episode.
"Then it's settled!" Xemnas squeled because EVERYONE has to have a quirk in this story.
2 seconds later
Everyone in the room was in their boxers except Luxord and Lexy, who was resorted to eating the cards early in the game and therefore was the last one left dressed. "WELLZ." Luxord said triumphantly "YOU'RE GOING DOOOWN."
"We allready on floor." Lexy pointed out, and it was true. They were both sitting on the floor.
"GAAH WHATEVER." Luxord grunted,tired of Lexy's CRAZY shenanigans. But that didn't matter, hewas pretty confident now, having gotten a four and a seven. That's eleven by the way. So pretty much, it was in the bag. "Just hit me."
And Lexy did
Right between the eyes.
"Our hero!" Xemnas cried, throwing his arms around Lexy wile the others shoved Luxord's unconsious body away and pulled their clothes from the pile behind where the gambler had once been. Xigbar kept kicking Luxord because it was fun, while Saix made a note to take the body with him when he recovered his clothes.
"Pretty girl hug make Lex pants tight."
I suck at lemon/lime writing so yah. I dropped the OCD thing for Marluxia mostly because I forgot about it. I don't really support Axel and Roxas. I like yaoi as much as the next fangirl but I like them better as friends. The same with Sora and Riku. Riku may be gay but Sora is straight! -shakes fist in air- STRAAAAAAAIGHT! btw I can't spell Lexy's name. Heheh. Xemnas make Lexy go boing.