A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover: "Partners In Every Sense of the Word"
By Spectra16
WARNING: Do not read this story unless you've read "A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover and the Prisoner of the Arctic Incident"! This story will totally spoil that story for you. But if you don't care, read on. I will explain. If not, turn back NOW and go read Prisoner of the Arctic Incident, which is a Harry Potter/Artemis Fowl/Lemony Snicket crossover fiction. If you haven't read one or two of these books, don't worry. I explain what has happened previously pretty well. So yeah.
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Basically, to recap what happened in Prisoner of the Arctic Incident was that Artemis discovers the whereabouts of his missing father was due to the fact that his father (Sirius Black) was hiding in Azkaban from Voldemort. This story is about the love affair of Angeline (Malfoy) and Sirius (Black). I'm not sure if I'll put sex in it or not. Dress accordingly. Anyways, enjoy.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Chapter One: My Heart Is Black
"You got a letter from your mother?" Remus asked, rather shocked. The last time Sirius had received anything from a relative was his howler from his first year at Hogwarts, in which his parents yelled at him for becoming a Gryffindor. Sirius tried to hide his shaking, and did a good job of it. James leaned over Sirius' neck and read the letter aloud.
To Sirius Black,
Cordially, the Black family invites you to the marriage of Bellatrix Black and Rudolphus Lestrange's wedding, which will take place on April 30th. The affair will take place in a natural setting, and your attendance is expected. Invite friends to attend with you. This is to be a respectable pureblood wedding ceremony. Please send an owl reply once you have received this invitation to confirm or deny this happy matrimony.
Yours truly,
Bellatrix and Rudolphus Lestrange
Sirius blanched. The invitation seemed rather inappropriate, considering he hadn't spoke to Bellatrix in a few years. Black secretly knew what this was about. Remus patted his hand on Sirius' shoulder.
"Are you going? April 30th is almost a week away," Remus smiled. Sirius tossed the letter away. James looked at the letter again, studying it.
"Absolutely not. They probably forgot that I was banished from the Black family," Sirius snickered. Remus seemed a little disappointed that Sirius had rejected a friendly gesture from his own family. James said nothing yet, so Remus took it upon himself to speak.
"Are you even going to reply?" Remus asked. Sirius shook his head.
"Fuck the Black family. I'm going to change my name as soon as I get the chance. A bunch of bloody pureblood obsessed-"
"Sirius, please," James scolded nonchalantly. Sirius didn't speak another word for a while.
"It says bring friends. We'll come for moral support! It'll be fun! We'll cause lots of trouble. Get drunk. Come on, Sirius!" James spoke up and nudged Sirius on the shoulder. Remus put his face into Sirius' view and pouted. Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Don't you care that maybe I'd rather not face the very people who despise me, not to mention that they are my family!" Sirius pushed Remus away. James smiled diabolically.
"Won't your parents go mad once they see us flying in on your motorcycle, acting all cool, setting off stink bombs," James looked up into the ceiling, appearing to be imagining this. Sirius couldn't help but smile.
"I don't want to see Bellatrix," Sirius said sternly, regaining his composure. Remus titled his head.
"Why?" He asked. Sirius looked up at him from his seat at the Potter's table. Remus was standing above him, but it didn't make him seem more intimidating in the least. Sirius grunted.
"She's my cousin. The whore . . . She used to be very flirty with me. I'm very sure she sent the invitation to me because she wants me to feel jealous. I couldn't care less, of course," Black took a deep breath. James was liking how perfectly this was fitting.
"Well, if you show up, get drunk, and make an ass out of yourself, I'm sure that would piss her off pretty well," James laughed quietly. Remus tugged on Sirius' sleeve. Sirius had already seemed to give in, and was now smiling at Remus.
"Alright, let's go. Just the three of us."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Lupin's dress robes were quite baggy, considering they belonged to Sirius. He held on tightly to Sirius' chest as the world whizzed by them. Lupin had never been any good with a broom, so a motorcycle would be no difference. The wind blew fiercely, and Lupin' stomach lurched. He had tried not to look down, but his curiosity forced him to look down. James rode on his broom, next to Sirius' black motorcycle. The sky was still dark, lit by the cursed moon that taunted Remus. Lupin's death grip made Sirius chuckle inside.
"Remus, just let go. You won't fall. And in the rare instance that you would, James would be able to catch you!" Sirius joked. Remus' grip lightened, but he still held onto Sirius' jacket as if it were slipping memories. James seemed less attentive to where he was going, and more attentive to the night sky. Sirius looked over at James' starry gaze.
"I should warn you, James. Bellatrix is a floosy. Avoid making eye contact with her. I wouldn't put it past Rudolphus to get jealous of you and put up a fight," Sirius spoke in an undertone. Remus perked up.
"Why aren't you warning me?" Remus asked, seeming to be insulted. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"When's the last time you were fancied?" Sirius asked, knowing that James seemed to attract much more attention than Remus. Remus paused for a moment to think.
"Lily did, back in fifth year!" Remus spoke up. James sighed.
"She found you to be the most mature out of our group! She didn't fancy you, Moony!" James eyed his own wedding ring and fiddled with it. Sirius smiled slyly.
"She fancied me, of course! Who didn't?" Sirius asked rhetorically. Remus carefully removed one hand from Sirius' side and rose it in the air.
"I didn't," Remus said obviously. James broke out into a silly laugh. Sirius glared at James.
"I think we all know who won Lily in the end. And we all know who got to be the best man!" Sirius nudged Lupin in the side. Remus rubbed his gut.
"Yeah, James! What's the deal? Why wasn't I the best man?" Remus complained, having been through this before.
"Sirius and I have been comrades since forever! You didn't see Wormtail getting to be the ring bearer!" James retorted.
"Still," Remus meekly remarked. "Speaking of Wormtail, I think I missed the part where you explain to me where he is." Sirius bit his lip.
"Said he had some family stuff to tend to. That might just be for the better. He certainly is getting too brainy," Sirius muttered. James pointed down to a small winding road below them.
"Is that the road we have to follow?" James interrupted.
"No," Sirius shortly replied. "Woah, shit. Is there a full moon soon?" Sirius looked up at a nearly circular moon. Remus shook his head.
"Nope. Not for another few days," Remus replied sadly. There was a long, lonely silence for the time being. Remus was starting to get used to the high speed now, and was feeling much less nauseous. Sirius could tell, since Lupin' grip on his clothes had lessened.
In the distance was a large, dark mansion on a hill, the spires reaching up to the black sky. James squinted to see if better, the cool air hitting his face.
"That's it," Sirius spoke darkly. Remus lifted his head from resting on Sirius' back. He perked up to see the manor, disliking the sight right away. Lupin looked down below them, seeing the tops of trees go by at an alarming rate. He had forgotten not to look down, but he wasn't THAT afraid anymore. He squeezed Sirius' back closely.
"Now I know why you left," Remus spoke softly. Sirius nodded.
-.-.-.-.-.-
James and Sirius touched the ground for the first time in more than an hour. Sirius swung his leg over the seat and Remus conservatively slid off. James waited for Sirius to lead the way to his old home, but honestly, Sirius didn't want to go in. The sole purpose of pissing off his family was the only thing keeping him going. James and Sirius strode up the stairway, leaving Remus to stumble. Sirius cleared his throat and dramatically pressed the doorbell several times. James silently laughed, hearing someone screaming in a bloody rage within the mansion. Remus had a certain meagerness about him as of now. He ran his finger down one of his scars on his face, out of habit. A few moments later, the door swung open to reveal a rather handsome looking man, although not related to the Blacks, yet.
"Rudolphus Lestrange, I presume?" Sirius gave a small, courteous bow to him. Rudolphus looked rather snobbish at the three standing in the doorway. A shrill of excitement was heard and footsteps. Bellatrix ran in front of her fiance and smiled widely at Sirius. Her hair was curled and quite long now, different from before. But this was not the most attracting thing in the situation. Bellatrix hadn't bothered to dress, obviously. She was still in a tiny black slip, beaming at Sirius.
"I wasn't sure if you'd come! Come in! Come in!" Bellatrix grabbed her cousin by the hand and dragged him past Rudolphus. He turned around and followed with quickened steps. James looked up at the doorway and back at Remus.
"Welcome home Sirius," James spoke sardonically. Remus and James stepped inside simultaneously and grinned like the marauders that they were.