"Okay, are we all clear for the plan?" The author's two figments had disappeared a wile ago, and no one really seemed to notice or care. At the moment Marluxia, Roxas, Axel and Vexen were in Vexie-poo's lab going over the plan to murder the author. Oh yeah, and Marluxia was the one who said that.
"I WANT A BBQ!" Axel shouted because the author couldn't spell the actual word.
"I WANT POTATOE CHIPS." Roxas whined, flailing his arms desperately.
"...I want a pony." Vexen said quietly, because he is a creepy old man. He's not a rock anymore by the way.
"Well I want you to shut up but you don't see me complaining!" Marluxia howled, standing up angrily. I never really understood that word, 'angrily.' It's based on the word 'anger' but it doesn't have the E. That's totally cheating or something.
"You just did." Roxas pointed out. Marluxia threw a brick at him and he cried.
JUST THEN a knock was heard at the door. Vexen jumped up and walked- no, wait. That wasn't funny enough. Let me try again.
JUST THEN an elephant was heard at the skylight. Vexen exploded up and flew towards it, opening it.
"Vexen?" Zexion was standing there, idly shoving the elephant back in his pocket. "Do you know where Marluxia is?"
"I'm right heeere, Zexion" Flowers streamed out from behind Marluxia, as if he had some sort of flower generator. They floated in the air a bit then disappeared, Marluxia working all his sexiness into the smile he was giving the younger member.
"..." Thoroughly traumatized, Zexion spoke quickly. "Xemnassaidhe'stransferringsomemembersheresoawileandhewantedmetotellyouthat." Turning heel as fast as he could, he broke into a run.
"NOOOO! BISHI- I MEAN, ZEXION! COME BAAACK!" Marluxia cried, following him out the door.
"Transferring some members here?" Vexen blinked, "But The Castle that Never Was is three times this size, and half of us are here already..."
"Maybe he farted." Axel said, having somehow once again acquired the Moomba plush and was clutching it mercilessly. "And it smelled really bad, so he sent the members here so he wouldn't be embarrassed." Roxas was on the floor now for some reason, mixing chemicals he found on the table.
"That's dumb- Roxas! DON'T TOUCH THAT-"
And then everything exploded and everyone died.
No, I'm kidding.
ACTUALLY, he tipped as test tube of purple liquid into a vial of green liquid. It began to bubble and fizz, a thin layer of darkish foam forming on the top. "COOL." Axel said because obviously Roxas can't talk. "LETS GO MAKE DEMYX DRINK IT AND HOPE SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPENS!" And so they did. Vexen just shrugged, and got out the tapes from his previous experiment
ELSEWHERE.
Demyx was sitting in a room. Not just any room... it was.. A DEN! Yes, Castle Oblivious had a den kind of thing. It was completely white like everything else, and usually empty because everything hung out somewhere else. BUT NOT DEMYX. Because no one likes him. Plus he kind of smells.
He was laying on the cough listening to music on his OMG HAXX0RS IPOD. Marluxia had got it for him when Dem-dem told him that it would match the Castle's decor. He's so clever sometimes.
"HAY DEMXY DRINK THIS." Axel cried, bursting into the room with Roxas giggling madly behind him.
"'kaaaay." So Demyx drank the magical potion of doom.
AND HE TURNED FRENCH!
No, really. His Organization coat turned into tight pants and a red and white striped shirt, and he had one of those hats and a curly mustache. And he said, "Oh ho ho!" Like french people do!
"Yay for Magical French Demyx!" Axel cried, throwing his hands into the air. "So Magical French Demyx. How do you say 'milk' in french?"
Oh, you know what's coming...
"MILK IN FRENCH IS LE MILK!" Magical French Demyx bellowed, thrusting a hand in the air triumphantly. Axel and Roxas looked at him in awe, Magical French Demyx was just so smart! Who knew? Maybe if they had hot kinky gay sex with him they'll become smart too!
"Who hired a mime?" Xigbar asked, walking into the room. Axel and Roxas hadn't had the chance to get nekkid before he came in, so they'd have to do that later.
"GET AWAAAAAAY!" Screamed Zexion, bursting into the room. Before anyone could ask he scaled the lengthof the den and threw open another door, disappearing inside it. A moment passed, then;
"NOOOO!" Marluxia skidded into the room, leaving a trail of flowers and sparkles behind him. Looking frantically around, his eyes stopped on Demyx. "Ooo Demyx. You're wearing the outfit I got you I'll be back for you later." With a wink, he fluttered through a random door. The air sparkled for a moment where he stood, and no one spoke for a wile.
"Costume?" Axel sniffed, sad that Magical French Demyx was a fake.
"Por favor!" Magical French Demyx said, despite the fact that that's spanish.
"No thanks, I already ate." Xigbar told him.
"Waaaait..." Roxas walked over the the couch. "If Demyx didn't drink the potion-"
"WOW THIS ENERGY DRINK WOW IT'S REALLY GOOD!" Xigbar yelled, dropping the empty vial to the ground. "LAWLERSKATES! I'M SPIDERMAN!" Pulling out his guns he aimed them at the ceiling and began to fire. He made a circle in the ceiling, and that portion of the ceiling fell. Of course, it just so happens that the ground above the ceiling had been Larxene's bathroom. And the portion that fell was her shower. And she was kind of in it.
"Eh... not bad." Axel shrugged, looking her over. Seconds later, he realized that two hundred volts of electricity being shot into your body really, really hurts. Xigbar was on the ceiling, stuck with static, and Roxas was hiding under the couch.Larxene pulled Axel'scharred jacket off him and put it over herself, leaving the room and quickly as she could.
As she left, the static electricity that held Xigbar to the ceiling wore off and he fell. He was able to grab onto the ceiling hand with one hand, except that kind of made everything a lot worse as he was pulled around at speed. Finally, after a lot of yelling and some vomiting, he let go. Luckily there was a nice, soft Roxas to break his fall.
Meanwile Axel was getting up and wondering where his coat went. Under the coat were white boxer with little flames on them, and nothing else. This was around the time that many, many fangirls died from blood loss caused by massive nosebleeds.
"Oh Demyx!" Marluxia opened the door with a big, creepy grin on his face and flowers still spilling everywhere he went. "Where is my little frenchman?"
"Good question. Wasn't he here when Larxene was-" From the still-present hole in the ceiling lightning shot down and struck Axel before he could finish his sentence.
"...Oh well." Marluxia sighed, grabbing the wrist of Axel's barely conscious body. "I'll just had to do toothpick here." He dragged him out of the room.
"I wanna watch!" Roxas hopped up and raced after them.
"...I'm all alone." Xigbar said sadly. The the author appeared out of nowhere and had sex with him.
CHAPTER END!
See chapter one