Over and Over Again, a detective conan/case closed fanfic

Orokid: yeah… I wrote this a long while ago, so the style probably isn't very good, but it's still okay enough. Lol. Anyway, here it is, I guess.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with Detective Conan/Cased Closed.

Over and Over

Jimmy Kutou wiped his red eyes, wondering how he could do this to himself. Every time he'd see her, the woman he loved since before he had transformed into Conan Edogawa, he'd just die. He couldn't stop thinking about them, though. It hurt him too much, but he just couldn't force the image from his mind.

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it, yeah, I can't shake it, noo…

It all started the day he had returned to normal, using an alcohol drenched pill as his way back to normalcy. Conan had gone "home" with his family, finally- aka mini-Jimmy staying at Doctor Agasa's house until the cure had been perfected for human consumption. All he wanted to know was that Rachael still loved him, still needed him, still looked at him like she did that day at the amusement park.

I can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes

He laughed nervously when he thought about how mad she'd be at him for never being there often, for allowing her to worry for his well being at every time he'd say he was on yet another hard case. She'd murder him if she knew that whole truth, though.

And it's a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
About the same things
Over and over again

As he turned the corner, he had seen the one thing that would forever be imprinted in his mind. There she was, kissing another man. And damn, we they kissing! His whole world seemed to be falling apart as frantic thoughts struck him- She had loved him. Right? What in the name of God was she doing then!

Jimmy returned to the corner, not knowing what to do or say at the predicament. Tears flooded his eyes. He'd run, never try to see her again. That's what he'd do. He began to walk away, but fate seemed to bite him in the ass today. "J-Jimmy? Is… Is that you?" she questioned, her tone hopeful. No. She wasn't hopeful. Rachael, this young woman who had stolen his heart, had decided that they were just friends.

He broke into a run, tears streaming down his face.

Jimmy Kutou couldn't ever let go of his love for her, nor would he ever try. His best friend would always have a special place in his heart.

Ohh, but I think she's leaving
Ohh man, she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

He turned over in his bed, trying hard not to notice that somebody was banging on his door, screaming his name, telling him to come outside. He knew who it was. But every one of her words brought back the memory of loosing her forever.

The man choked out a sob.

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again, yeah
And I can't take it, yeah, I can't shake it, noo

Rachael pounded his door, eyes streaming tears. "Jimmy, get your ass out here!" she screamed, trying not to him hear the pain that this event had caused inside her voice. "Jimmy, take your beatings like a man!"

She remembered the last day she had seen him, waving at and telling her not to be worried. She remembered how he had smelled, how nice he seemed to be rushing to the rescue of another.

Why hadn't she stopped him that day? Why was she too stubborn and scared to tell him how she felt about the boy she had known for years on end? How she wanted to always be with him? That she dreamed endlessly of being his only love? Damn her pride. Damn her heart. Damn it. Why did she just have to love him?

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try and stop you or say anything

"Jimmy," she called, her voice showing just how weak she felt, her tears gurgling her voice. "Please. Come out of there. I want… No, I need to talk to you. Please." She slid to her knees, forehead against his closed door, fist still softly pounding against his door. She was loosing hope. "I… I'm sorry… I am so sorry, Jimmy," she whispered to the door. "I… I wanted to tell you something the day you left, but… you never really came back to see me afterwards. I… I lost my courage when I didn't get to see you after you had run off. Conan… Well, Conan, he… He did everything he could to cheer me up but… nothing would make my feelings change. I-" She dug her head deeper into the wooden frame, clutching to what she could on his door. "I love you, Jimmy. Don't… Don't leave me again. I… I couldn't live if you did."

But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing in my head
Over and over again

The door opened and she fell easily into his awaiting arms, which made her feel comforted immediately. "But… You have someone…" he told her, although he was more reminding himself than her, which caused him to pull away from the embrace he had begun. He had… He had almost allowed her words… those fake, cunning words… to control his heart and body. "I saw you two. You… You don't love me at all, Rachael. Don't say that."

"Yes, I do love you, Jimmy!" she told him adamantly, wishing that he'd understand. She forcibly hugged him, not allowing him to wiggle away or push her from him once more. "That… That guy forced himself on me, I swear. He… He made me kiss him, and said that… that he'd kill him if I didn't. Maybe you didn't see, but I had kneed him in the crotch and tied his arms to a nearby light," she told her love proudly, feeling close to laughing at the end of her entire speech.

Ohh, I think she's leaving
Ooh, man, she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

He wanted to kick himself as he listened to her explanation. He, the Great Teenaged Detective, had misinterpreted everything about the situation. How… How could he have done that?

'My jealousy,' he concluded with a small smile, and he took her into his arms once again, trying to console her tears which he knew he had caused and the happiness of being once again in his loving arms again at the same time. 'I never thought that could happen to me. She has proven me wrong today. It had hurt me so much to see her with that guy that my mind had gone numb.'

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah

The picture flashed before his eyes once again, and he analyzed the memory. She had been struggling, her eyes had been open, her eyebrows were furrowed in anger… Many signs that proved her story true. That man had a knife in his pocket too.

He hated himself for not noticing this before.

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it, I can't shake it, noo

"Jimmy, say something," she pleaded him desperately, looking at his bright blue, innocently looking orbs. Why did they look so familiar?

He closed his eyes, repeating analyzation. Everything still made complete and utter sense. He could argue with what he had seen. "Rachael", he whispered softly, taking a soft wiff of the shampoo she had used that morning. "I understand now. I… I know why I hadn't looked at the scene before like… like a detective, like… me."

"Why?" She was confused. Why was he saying this? Why hadn't he analyzed her situation beforehand, like he usually would have done? That wasn't like the Jimmy Kutou she knew."

"Because I-" He gulped down his nervous spit. "- I love you, Rach. I… I always have."

Now that I realized that I'm going down
From all this pain you put me through
Everytime I close my eyes I lock it down
I can't go on not loving you

Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad
Cause it's all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it, I can't shake it

Jimmy smiled calmly as he held onto Rachael, his arms growing tighter around her form. It had all been in his head, and he knew it too. He could remember all those times she had never lied to him, and he could also remember how he lied to her.

He hated himself even more now.

Over and over again
Over and over again
Cause it's all in my head

It was all in his head…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Orokid: yeah… can you tell I rushed the ending to this? Heh heh… yeah…

Review- I don't care what you say, but it'd be nice to have something to say for my hard (can't even say that with a straight face) work!