Chapter Two: One Fourth of a Mustard Seed

By the time Jordan woke up, the sun was beginning its decent to the horizon. She hadn't realized that she had fallen asleep—her dreams had been filled with the same craziness as her day.

Her stomach rumbled, but Jordan was not in the mood to eat. She continued sitting on the bench for a few minutes until she decided that she ought to go home…she didn't have anything better to do anyway. Although it was a somewhat long distance, Jordan decided to walk instead of get a cab.

Trying to concentrate solely on putting one foot in front of the other, Jordan got up and walked out of the park. As she started home, however, all of the questions began swirling around in her head. Once again, her situation seemed insurmountable.

A church bell sounded just a block ahead of her, bringing Jordan out of her reverie. It was St. Inez. Jordan smiled just a bit, remembering some of the things that happened there. She wished she could go back to those times…everything was less complicated then.

She stopped in front of the huge oak doors. Suddenly, she had this ludicrous—to her anyway—urge to go in and pray. Maybe Paul would be there, and he could pray for her. Jordan figured that she had absolutely nothing to loose, and if there was just a chance that it would work, she'd take it.

The sanctuary was quiet when Jordan went inside. There were only a few people there, sitting silently or lighting candles and praying. Jordan took a seat at the end of a pew. She felt slightly unsure of what she should do, being in a place she'd abandoned so long ago.

Jordan didn't have to wait long, however. A hand touched her shoulder lightly, and she jumped. She turned and looked up into Paul's face.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you." Jordan jumped up and hugged him tightly in response. Although startled, Paul quickly returned the hug. "How are you?" he asked when they pulled apart.

"Oh, I'm good," Jordan started. Paul gave her a look. "Yeah…actually, I'm not." And she proceeded to tell him the whole story. While she was talking, Paul just listened. He listened. It felt so good to Jordan just to have someone hear her out, someone she knew cared about her.

"Wow, Jordan…I'm so sorry," Paul said when she was done.

"Do you believe me?" Jordan asked, suddenly caring very much about what he thought.

"Of course I do," he answered. "You would never kill anyone…you know too much about the pain that causes. I believe you, Jordan."

She sighed in relief. "Thanks." She looked down at her hands for a few moments. "I just came here…I thought…that maybe you could pray for me?" she asked sheepishly.

Paul smiled. "Sure, I can do that. But Jordan, you can pray too, you know."

Jordan gave him one of her famous half smiles. "Yeah, I could." Then she got serious again. "I just figured that it would have more weight if the person praying actually believed in the person he was praying to."

"You don't believe in God, Jordan?" he asked.

She gestured nervously. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean…I believe that He's there, that He exists. I don't know if I believe anything else the church says about Him. At least, I don't believe it enough to do anything about it."

Paul nodded. "Fair enough." After a pause, he asked, "Would you like to pray now?"

Jordan looked up, startled. "Here?" she asked, and he nodded. She looked around the room anxiously. She hadn't bargained on this…all she really wanted was Paul's solemn promise to pray later. She couldn't think of a good excuse, though, so she acquiesced. "Sure."

Paul held out his hands, and Jordan took them after a bit of hesitation. They were warm. He briefly rubbed her hands in his, trying to take away the chill. Then he bowed his head, and Jordan followed his lead. Even in her awkwardness, Jordan was touched by his words. Paul seemed to know exactly what to say.

When he was done, he looked at Jordan and smiled.

"Thank you, Paul," she whispered. They got up, and he hugged her one last time. Paul promised to keep praying, and he asked Jordan to keep him up to date.

"And Jordan?" he called as she was walking out. She turned and looked at him expectantly. "The Bible says that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, God can move mountains."

Jordan smiled a bit. "What does it say about having the faith of only one fourth of a mustard seed?" she asked.

"God uses whatever you have to give Him."

Jordan pondered that for a moment, and then nodded. Paul waved good-bye to her and watched as she stepped out into the evening.