Disclaimer : I do not own Evangelion, although like many others I wish I did. I own none of the characters. This is a normal Eva fic, not sure about Eva battles because I am trying to focus on Shinji's torment and hopeful revenge, hehe. Read and Review, I need criticism and I need to know people are reading this garbage. Anyhoo, on with the show!

Right then

'Thought'

"Speech"

"(Actions in speech)"

-

"Eva launch!"

Shinji felt the simulated G-forces that they created in the test-plug, he felt his body moved towards the seat and his skin seemed to stretch a little, but let it be known, he was starting to enjoy it. He watched the numbers increase as he flew past each level of the elevator, then there was the end of numbers and Shinji knew what came next. The head case snapped back into position, with the force that would usually cause the person fatal whiplash, the suddenly halt had become the best part of the ascent for Shinji. He felt the Eva release from the restraints, he leant forward and began moving, he saw both Rei and Asuka appear on the other side of some buildings and he called up a RADAR readout. It showed approximately 30 objects heading towards them at high speeds, Shinji walked past the same building he had walked past four times in the last hour, grabbing the rifle from inside he building he turned to face a new direction.

"Sigh, every time the same number of units, doing the same formation, it is almost pathetic."

"Stop your complaining Shinji, these craft are learning from each experience, they won't be that hard to beat soon."

"I know I know."

Shinji stepped forward, the headpiece covering his eyes and the connections quickly began rerouting through the camera on the rifle, and Shinji could see the same variable wing planes that they had faced four times before. Shinji focused on the centre of the group, then holding the trigger he fired two shots, the planes scrambled before they were hit and Shinji even smirked a little. Asuka and Rei appeared behind him, Asuka with a particle rifle resting on the roof of a building and Rei with a couple of submachine gun like weapons. As had been the briefing and the training so far, they watched the planes get closer and they knew that the planes would dodge most attacks up to a point. Rei and Asuka were breathing heavily, the down side of this sort of fighting was that it required the highest synchronisation they could achieve, this was hard to keep up for weapons that needed high accuracy. Shinji stood thinking for a moment, before he turned to Rei, from the outside the others saw Unit 01 turn and hold out the rifle to Unit 00. As Rei watched the Eva curiously, a video image of Shinji appeared directly over the Eva's face.

"Rei, can I have a try with the submachine guns, please?"

"S… Sure."

Shinji handed Rei the rifle, immediately the visor came down over her eyes and she targeted the centre of the formation. Shinji on the other hand, cocked the two guns, then held them out in front of him like a sort of gangster. Shinji focused hard and the computers produced a rough crosshair as to where Shinji would fire.

"Misato, this isn't in the simulation."

"I know, but I want to see what Shinji is capable of. How long until the fighters are within range?"

"About ten seconds ma'am."

"Here we go, Eva pilots, move out!"

Shinji pulled the trigger before the planes were even in range, the bullets flew and only two or three survived the barrage, everyone was amazed how Shinji took out 7/10s of a formation group in one volley. Although now was significantly harder, the formation was broken and they had about 22 fighters flying in all directions around their heads firing missiles at their AT fields. Education it seems, had occurred. The Evas, although undamaged by the missiles were now blind as smoke surrounded them, Asuka fired the particle rifle wildly knowing that it would take some of the smoke in its path, and she did manage to take out two or three fighters. Misato watched as the planes began to make a run on the main armoury on the surface, it seemed like this would be the first fail. The missiles flew through the air towards the armoury, they were mere metres away when they exploded. A line of bullets cut every missile into pieces then moved up and the enemy fighters could do nothing to change their course and fly straight into the line of bullets. The cameras moved back to the cloud of smoke and unit 01 walked out, arms held out like he was crucified but instead he was firing at the sky. It seemed systematic, his fighting, like he was a computer, they watched as each arm moved independently of the other, he was a machine. When Shinji got to the armoury he found that his gun was empty and threw it at an approaching fighter, it in turn fell into its ally and a formation of four became two lone fighters flying away for their lives. Shinji then got out a progressive knife, he flipped it and threw it at the retreating planes, the cameras zoomed in as the knife seemed to pass straight through the planes and into the distance. Asuka stepped out of the smoke, she had taken out around seven fighters, Rei had got about six. Shinji wasn't about to brag.

"Well done Shinji, fifteen fighters, that is the best score yet."

"Er… Misato… seventeen."

"Huh?"

Misato pressed a button that followed the two retreating planes, zooming in she saw a light haze of blood along the glass dome of the cockpit. A few seconds later the planes changed vector, the plane with the blood split clean in two, exploding and taking its companion with it. A message appeared on the screen saying All enemies destroyed Misato moved back over to the microphone.

"Sorry, well done Shinji, seventeen, the best score yet!"

"I should be best, I have the highest synch-ratio, I just get stuck with this piece of crap that takes forever to reload."

"Yeah I do get the easy to reload, rapid fire weapons, it takes less synchronisation, so I pilot of my calibre could never fire the particle rifle."

"Darn tootin!"

"Well I think that will be enough today, guys. Go get showered and go home, Shinji do you want to come over for dinner tonight?"

"I'm sorry Misato, I'm going to Tokyo-2 for the night, it is a nice offer… me cooking you dinner… but I'm busy."

"Tokyo-2?"

"I'm going to go and visit Kensuke and Touji, if I leave now I might be able to get to the station before rush hour."

"Okay… Asuka we're ordering out again tonight."

"Roger, that."

-

"Pilot… Shinji?"

"Yes Rei?"

"Why do you pretend you are a worse pilot than Ms. Soryu?"

"Huh?"

Shinji walked swiftly along the corridor, the external monorail had just been completed, if he could get on it he could use it to get to the station. He had gotten changed faster than ever before and was actually quite surprised that Rei had managed to keep up with him. He also realised he was completely sussed.

'Shit.'

"What do you mean?"

"Well you are a far superior pilot to the Second, yet you allow her to believe otherwise."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, I can tell when you lie, your hair flickers darker for a second, the Eva's respond fluidly with high synchronisation, that is the only way you could perform as you did today."

'Shit… she sussed me.'

'Hehe, I sussed him.'

The couple reached the monorail station, Shinji looked at the timer and it would be several minutes until the next tram, he knew there was no escape. He turned to find Rei with a silly little smirk on her face that Shinji almost found scary, his hair flushed into brown and his head just dropped.

"Asuka gets pretty angry when she isn't the best… if I have any chance of being friends with her I have to get her into a good mood, when we are friends… then I'll tell her."

"If you wish to be her friend… should you not tell her the truth now?"

"Well unfortunately while I respect honesty, and wouldn't mind it of anyone… Asuka is pretty much like 'Red' all the time… so if I said to her that I was better she might start slipping again. If she starts slipping into the depression again… she might not survive it."

"I see…then I will not mention this point further."

"Thank you, Rei."

The monorail approached, it drew to a quick stop and the boy stepped onboard, he turned around and looked out before the door shut, Rei was stood looking at him, her hands tucked tightly behind her back. Shinji smiled to her.

"I'll come round and visit tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes… that would be… pleasant."

The doors slid shut and Shinji raised his hand to the window, Rei gave him another funny little smile and waved him off. She walked with the moving train for a few seconds before letting the train go off without her, she sighed and turned to leave. She stopped near the exit and watched the monorail disappear into the distance of the Geofront.

"Now you only have to learn how to understand the feelings of others."

-

"I never realised how beautiful this landscape is… but I guess from 200ft up, a tree just looks like a brown stick with some green on it. I must have passed this place a few times… oh wait… there is an Eva footprint, and another. Thought this place looked familiar."

Shinji sat on a fairly secluded area of the train, so he found that when staring out the window, a few random mutterings, shrouded by his hand, was a form of relief on the journey. It had been a while since he got out of Tokyo-3, he actually sat and tried to remember the last time he was outside of the area, Eva or not.

'It's been one month since Kawouru, and two since Rei… changed, so three since I got spat out of the Eva… and four since I was absorbed… Shit… the last time I was anywhere outside of Tokyo-3, was when I had to fight Unit 04… I guess I'm going to the right place.'

Shinji's hair had seemed to find a sort of balance at dark brown, most of the time it remained there, almost like the centre of a balance, from there it would get lighter or darker, it would all depend on Shinji's thoughts. His hair was now going darker, as his thoughts began to dwell on his friends, one in particular, one who in Shinji's opinion could never again be complete, no matter how advanced technology had become. The memories of the battle returned to Shinji's mind, losing radio contact with Asuka, then Rei, before spotting the creature. Then it all seemed to blur into the entry plug going red… then he killed the Eva… it was something that was worse than being Dark. At least with Dark it was his wants and needs fuelled by emotion… in the entry plug he felt everything, he felt the impulse to attack Unit-04, he felt the impulse to crush the entry plug, he felt it all, he wanted to do it all and yet he didn't want to do any of it.

'Father… you bastard.'

When the train pulled into the station at Tokyo-2, Shinji's hair was pitch black, his eyes had not yet changed colour, but that was only because Shinji was focusing on other things. As Shinji looked around the station he spotted his prey, two young boys, one standing much taller than the other, it had been so long that Shinji wasn't sure if it was them. But as the mechanical arm came up to block the sun from the taller's eye, Shinji felt a tear come to his own. He stopped about five metres from the two boys, his head was still lowered so that his eyes were shrouded by his hair, the taller boy continued to look before the shorter jabbed him in the gut with his elbow. The taller boy was about ready to hit the shorter, but then he followed his line of vision to the longhaired boy standing before them. Shinji's head raised and his normal blue eyes stared back, a smile crept over his face and he even seemed to cry a little.

"Shinji?"

Shinji's hair shot back to brown as Shinji's face brightened, both boys were visibly thrown by the change and Shinji ran ahead to hug them. Kensuke and Touji were so shocked it took them several seconds to throw Shinji off of them, Shinji stepped backwards and smiled again.

"Wotcha' do that for!?"

"Yeah Shinji, did you go gay once we left?"

Shinji's face went bright red and his head dropped a little, both boys feared the worst when they saw this.

'Oh no… he's slipped back into that depression of his.'

'He still blames himself… for this…'

Touji was holding his mechanical arm, Shinji looked up at Touji, for a few seconds Shinji was worried until he saw the look of worry on Touji's face. Shinji smiled again, this time he just lifted his head and brushed the hair from his face.

"I'm sorry… I didn't shoot you while I had the chance."

"Huh?"

They stared at Shinji, who was smiling, pointing to Touji's arm and leg, after a moment Touji chuckled a little.

"I'm glad you didn't, with your poor aim you'd probably have managed to shoot the Entry Plug dead on."

"Oh really! Is that what you think of piloting skills?"

"Of course, you're useless, if you didn't have Asuka there to back you up you'd never win!"

"Asuka… beat an angel…"

All three boys looked at one another for a moment, they were all looking upward trying to remember just how many angels Asuka had killed.

"There was that one in the volcano…"

"I thought you had to catch her before she sank into the depths of the Earth?"

"That's true."

They all looked at each other again, then burst out laughing.

"Asuka couldn't kill an angel on her own to save her life!"

"By my count, with out you or Ayanami… she hasn't killed an angel to save her own life!"

They continued to laugh a little before a large grumbling noise came from Shinji's direction, they all went silent and stared at him. Shinji's face went bright red.

"Whoops, that was me! I forgot to pick up some food while I was talking with Rei…"

Kensuke dived forward but was pushed down by Touji, yet both still managed to get close to Shinji.

"I was about to say we can talk over food but…"

"I wanna know what you were saying to Ayanami!"

"Yeah… me too!"

Shinji went red faced again, and his head dropped a little, trying to think about Ayanami.

"We were just talking, mainly about me being better than Asuka, actually."

There was another grumble, this time from Touji, followed by one from Kensuke, and a consensus was decided that the three would go for some food. They walked through the empty streets quickly, there was a chill in the air that evening and the selected restaurant was in sight. Touji and Kensuke had already scouted out said restaurant, and in their letter to Shinji had quoted it as (In Touji's handwriting) 'cheap, fast service and lotsa nice chicks' while it then changed to Kensuke's writing for 'nice food, quiet atmosphere and really cool view of the airfield!' Thinking about the letter Shinji's head dropped and they reached the entrance of a place called 'Caesar's Palace'. Shinji walked in and was astounded by the place, instead of being the dark and dreary restaurants that Misato had taken them to, this place was large, open and bright. There were fairy lights up the columns, the walls and floors were marble and the waitresses were all cheery and happy. They walked over to the small podium with a man stood noting in a book, they stopped before him.

"Ah, table for three?"

"Yes, non-smoking please."

"Very good, this way please."

The man led the three boys through the restaurant to a stairwell and then upstairs to a table by the window and even though they were only on the first floor, they could see a military airbase in the distance. Shinji and Touji sighed as Kensuke pushed his face up against the window to try and get a better view. They each picked a drink and some food, Shinji noticed that a beef-burger was only the equivalent of £3 (or $5ish), which was very good for what he was compared to in Tokyo-3. After the waiter was gone, they sat in silence for a moment, it was only then that the two boys burst out.

"So you and Ayanami an item?"

"NO! We're just friends!"

"Sure you are, we know you Shinji, you've had the hots for Ayanami since the day you moved here! I mean there… I mean… you know what I mean!"

Shinji nodded slightly, while at the same time trying to push out all thoughts and images of Ayanami, especially ones that involved key cards and showers. After a few moments of verbal barrages and images of Ayanami, he got this one image of Rei sat in the entry plug of unit 00, his hands twitching from heat and the only light was moonlight, just pushing past him onto her face. And that serene smile that she had, that one smile that was so much better than any other smile she had ever given him since. For a moment everything else was drowned out and Shinji could only hear a faint mutter, 'Shinji…' first it was Rei's voice but it became more and more masculine as it was repeated until…

"Shinji wake up!"

Shinji opened his eyes in a flash, the two boys were staring at him worryingly, and a strand of brown hair dropped below his sapphire blue eyes. Both boys were staring at his eyes and he picked up a knife to see his reflection, the blue that stared back was not his usual shade.

"I… er… can explain…"

"Shinji, you eyes… they are like Asuka's…"

Shinji's head dropped, he thought as hard as he could about other things and when he brought his head back up the two other boys saw the Sapphire blue return to its usual obsidian. They were sat in awe, the food was placed before them without a word, and as they began eating Touji finally spoke.

"What was with that Ikari?"

"Huh?"

"You know what I am talking about, that eye trick, not to mention that thing you keep doing with your hair!"

"I… I don't really know how to explain it. It just changes, when I think about things, things that make me angry turn my hair black and things I like turns it back. The eyes are more specific, they tend to associate with certain emotions."

"How did this happen?"

"I don't know, it has been happening a lot recently, I think… I had a dream… a dream that I was guided, helped by those around me. Until I could realise my own self worth, when I woke up… I woke up and the first thing I thought about was Asuka, I felt a jolt of pain and my hair went black, when I looked in the lake, my reflection showed red eyes. I can't really explain how it happened, I guess it must have had something to do with my being absorbed into the Eva."

"YOUR WHAT?"

"Sigh."

Shinji spent most of the rest of the meal, explaining what had happened in the past three or four months, since they had left. Meanwhile Misato and Asuka were staring at their take out meal, it didn't look like the usual Shinji feast. They sighed and began to eat, it was only as the phone rang that they found a reason to stop eating, neither allowing the other to believe that they couldn't finish the 'delicious meal' they had before them. Asuka was the first to the phone and Misato found herself putting another fork-full in her mouth.

"Hello? Oh, you want her do you? Fine. Hey Misato it's for you."

Misato launched herself out of the chair, grabbing the phone from Asuka and watching carefully as the girl retook her seat and began eating once more. With a smirk on her face she then answered the phone.

"Hello, Misato speaking."

"Misato, it's me."

"Ritsuko?"

"Yes, I was just going to tell you about our problem."

"Are you talking about, that remote control car we bought Shinji for his birthday?"

"Right, yes, it seems that it stopped receiving the signal about an hour ago, it isn't moving anymore, I don't know what to do."

"Well you can talk about it over here, Shinji is over in Tokyo-2."

"Tokyo-2?"

"Seeing Suzuhara and Aida."

"I see. Well I will talk to you later if it starts working again."

"Right, bye."

Misato sat down at the table and began eating again, Asuka just looked at her. Then after a moment she stood up.

"I didn't get a car for my birthday."

"What?"

"Why does that idiot get a remote controlled car for his birthday?"

"He just does, I'll get you something too Asuka."

"Good, it better be nice!"

Misato sighed as she returned to the food, then she stared out of the window, wondering what Shinji was doing. At that moment he was in fact back inside Touji's empty house, looking around Shinji noticed all the lights off, and there was some faint noises coming from upstairs.

"What's that…"

Touji then shushed Shinji, and the three silently headed up the stairs of the two-floor apartment, then down the hall to a room with the door open a crack and the television emitting an eerie blue light. As the three got to the door, Kensuke seemed to know what was coming, but Shinji was totally oblivious. Touji nudged the door open and spotted his pray, next he pushed the door all the way open and jumped into the room.

"BOO!"

Shinji's ear drums burst with the sound of girls' screams, when the boy looked round the door he saw Touji doubled over laughing, while Hikari and who he assumed was Touji's sister were hiding behind a blanket. He watched as the blanket lowered and Hikari stood up, he knew at this point that Hikari, had she been in his position, would have pitch black hair and bright red eyes. For the uppercut she dealt Touji with was almost as powerful as the one Asuka would have dealt upon him.

"You jerk! I take care of your sister while you and your stooge friend go out! And this is how you repay me!"

"Hikari… guests…"

"I don't care if the other stooge is here, he practically lives here anyway!"

"No… not Kensuke…"

Hikari looked at the door and the dark haired boy appeared from behind the doorframe, his normal blue eyes were somewhat of a give away.

"Shinji!"

"Erk!"

Hikari hugged Shinji as tightly as she could, Shinji practically burst but Kensuke used this time to help up his fallen friend. Hikari let go of Shinji, then stood normally again, looking quite embarrassed, Shinji then looked across and saw Touji's little sister, she was busy beating on her brother. As she punched away it was easy to see a bandage wrapped around her torso, probably protecting the scar Shinji himself had dealt. Shinji's hair went almost black, but thanks to the darkened room, no one who didn't already know about his hair, noticed it. The girl stepped forward and turned back to Touji for a moment.

"So Oniisan, who is this guy, he's cute."

Touji's jaw dropped at this point and he dragged his sister away by the waist, picking her up and taking her back over to her bed. This task would seem hard considering that she was still about twelve or thirteen, but when your limbs are robotic, things like that were probably easier than usual, or at least, that was what Shinji thought.

"There is no way I will let my little sister date my best friend."

"I don't wanna date Kensuke! Eww!"

Kensuke face vaulted, Shinji sweat dropped and Touji's head just twitched.

"I will not let you get your little hands on Shinji."

"Shinji? Shinji Ikari? The pilot of Unit 01!?"

"Oh no."

Touji's little sister managed to get her foot onto Touji's head, then stepping on it she launched herself at Shinji grabbing him by the neck and swinging around it, full circle. Touji was the only one to notice the strength that should require, to stand completely still.

"Ah now Shinji finds out why Touji's little sister tore him a new one when she found out Touji hit him."

"What? Kensuke? What are you talking about? Hey! Don't touch me there!"

Touji had gotten up and now forcibly pulled the girl off of Shinji, and placed her in the bed.

"Look, Shinji… my sister… has a thing for the pilot of Unit 01, she was never told who it was, or their later exploits."

Touji gripped his arm tightly, and Shinji noticed, he nodded in silent understanding.

"I'm sorry… I have a girlfriend, and being an Eva Pilot, it isn't safe. I wouldn't want you to worry about me all day."

"You… girlfriend…"

Touji's little sister pushed past Shinji, then out of the door crying her eyes out, Hikari went after her and Touji just stood there. In the silent moment, that Kensuke was really uncomfortable in, Shinji looked at Touji.

"So… you didn't tell her why you lost your limbs."

"Of course not, I was sworn to secrecy by NERV, not to mention the fact that I don't blame you for it… you didn't want to hurt the pilot, your father didn't care. You are my friend Shinji, I am glad it was you… If it had been anyone else, I probably would have been dead."

"Touji… I…"

"Don't worry about it… my sister is better thanks to NERV's treatment, for that I am grateful."

"Touji…"

Misato and Asuka had both gone off to bed, Misato in her drunken haste was still wearing all of her clothes. Asuka was curled up in bed, her dreams were not pleasant. She was dreaming about the years of her life she wished she had forgotten, the years that she had to face. By far the worst dream, the one that recurred over and over, was one when she was six, when from her pilot training she was taken to see the 'Commander' a man she never saw the face of. He was to personally examine the pilot. She watched as one man stood at the side, his face in the light, but that was only because he could not stand to watch the events that were about to unfold. The next few events seemed to blur in her mind, but still… she did not like the feeling that the blur brought over her, she felt sick to her stomach. She seemed to slip into darkness but there was a light coming towards her it approached her, a light that wasn't the same as the light that had attacked her in the Eva… but instead, this light was just white. From it came an angel garbed in white with two huge wings sticking out of its back and it caught her as she fell, when she looked up to the light she saw grey hair and red eyes. It was a face that she didn't recognise, and a voice she did not recognise.

'Asuka… I will protect you… I will always protect you…'

'Shinji?'

Suddenly there was a flash, the face was no longer unfamiliar, it was very familiar, the hair was brown and the eyes were obsidian blue. Shinji was holding her in his arms and he held her to him as tightly as he could before she woke up in bed. But what affected her the most were the final words she heard before the dream ended.

'I will always lo…'

The sentence was cut short by her waking up, she was covered in a cold sweat and breathing incredibly heavily. She rubbed her head, and then discretely wiped the tears from her eyes as if no one, not even herself, had even seen them. Then in almost autopilot she walked from her room down the hall and to Shinji's doorway, sliding the door open she saw an empty room. There was only a blanket on the bed, one Misato had placed there in case Shinji had ever wanted to stay.

"Shinji… baka…"

But even though she said it, she still didn't really believe it, she continued to walk and sat on the bed. His bed. Her hand traced the area his head would normally lie, then she looked at the door, she had closed it behind herself.

'But why would I…'

Then out of her mind's eye she saw Shinji lying on the bed, he was sleeping silently, she didn't even want to disturb him. So she just lay, it was disconcerting falling through his chest, but it seemed then that he was all around her and as she lay, she found sleeping was pleasant and almost enjoyable. Shinji was laying on the floor in Touji's house, and for the first time he was thinking pleasant thoughts of Asuka, he too could see her in his mind's eye. She was lying, crying in the rain and he walked over to her, holding her tightly, keeping her warm and dry, protecting her from the world. For a moment he opened his eyes, he looked across the room to the mirror Touji had left on the floor. As he stared at it he found something very different to what he saw when he usually thought about Asuka.

"They're blue…"

-

Author Note – I didn't like this chapter in the beginning, I thought I would put too much in at the start and end up empty on Touji and Kensuke. But I like this now. Anyone notice that I never used Touji's sister's name? Anyone notice… WE'RE NEVER TOLD!? Anyway, things seem to be developing nicely, I hope… Sorry about the wait, I have just finished my last week of University before Christmas, so I was busy drinking, etc. I don't think you would have appreciated me putting this chapter in when I was hung over… right… I will try not to take too long for the next one!