Chapter 20: Memories of the Past
Disclaimer: If I owned InuYasha, why would I be writing more nonsense stories about it now? Well, for those who don't get my point, I don't own InuYasha.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, and the story's kind of drawing to a close. This is probably the second last chapter, and there's going to be some music lyrics-Because of You by Kelly Clarkson. Enjoy the fanfic!
With InuYasha and Sesshomaru
Only two more days till their return to Tokyo, and so much had passed during that month...the two Taisho brothers were reclining at the beach, trying to have a good time; Koga, Sango and Miroku were back at the hotel sleeping. But nobody can have a good time when they know that two people they know have died.
InuYasha stared out at the sea, thinking about Kagome. Kikyo and she shouldn't even have been dragged into this business in the first place. In fact, the whole affair between him and Naraku shouldn't have been brought up at all during this trip! Maybe he should have stayed dead in the first place, because thanks to him, the two supposed guests were both in some other world.
"I never knew that you actually think about things, little brother," an amused voice said behind him.
"Whatever, SESSHY," InuYasha retorted; and he felt, with some satisfaction, that behind his back his annoying older sibling flinched.
Sesshomaru could have said something very mean at this point, but he held back and walked up so that he was standing beside InuYasha.
"The whole place is very quiet-without those wenches," the youkai stated, hoping that his brother wouldn't try to change the subject. For some strange reason, he, the introverted youkai, had wanted to talk about this all along. The ways of the humans are rubbing off onto Sesshomaru, he thought with displeasure.
InuYasha lowered his head so that his bangs covered his eyes-his ears drooped sadly. He hadn't even bothered covering them up. "I wonder when we should tell the old folks." 'The old folks', of course, were all the adults involved in the affair.
"As soon as possible," was the latter's tart reply. The two were silent for a moment, listening to the seagulls' cries and the younger children's joyous shouts from far away.
"It sure is quiet without those two," InuYasha concluded. Then an evil thought came into his head. "Which of the two do you like better, and why?"
Sesshomaru was taken aback by the query. Why should his stupid idiot of a brother wonder about his feelings? With that, he calmed himself down. He could avoid the question easily and put his brother in the same situation, but nobody was going to find out his feelings. "I don't know, how about you?"
"Of course you do," the hanyou sighed, changing his tactics. "Just that you're waiting for my reply, so then you can copy me, right? I know you envy me."
"Dream on, little brother," Sesshomaru snapped, all his remaining patience worn out. "And I don't envy you!"
"Nyah nyah, prove it! If you're a man, no wait, that's demon, then you should have no trouble whatsoever telling me about who you like better!" InuYasha pulled a face, knowing that he had his brother at last.
"Hmph…I think I like the quieter girl better," Sesshomaru replied after a while. "I seem to have forgotten her name, however."
"You like Kikyo?" InuYasha exclaimed in surprise. "I thought that you and Kagome make a better pair! I mean, you're both-" then hesitating, the hanyou fell silent. Sesshomaru simply glared. "You like her, that Kagome woman, don't you?"
The hanyou sadly eyed the scar on his arm. "I came in too late to save her, that stupid wench," he growled, but it was no use. He still couldn't get rid of the guilt that was flooding him. "And now there's nobody to contradict me whenever I state something, nobody to pick me up whenever I fall down…" InuYasha halted, his eyes widening. What kind of crap was he spouting? Kagome's dying affair had made him so sentimental, dammit!
"My sentimental little brother," Sesshomaru sneered. "Blaming yourself for someone else's fault is not in your nature. No wonder you're not a full demon-you're too emotional."
InuYasha snapped. "Well, it's better than feeling no guilt for killing an innocent girl! You just fainted right on top of Kikyo and crushed her lungs!"
There was a cold silence, and for a moment, everything else in the world faded away, leaving behind the two brothers.
"It was accidental," Sesshomaru's voice had taken on a sudden, gentle tone. "I couldn't help knocking out, could I?"
Their conversation was drowned out by a car passing by, music blaring out from it. The driver was a young woman of about 21.
"Hey woman, turn your music down! You're being so selfish, not letting-" InuYasha stopped mid-sentence, his ears twitching as he listened to the lyrics.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
The hanyou slowly sank down onto the sand, his eyes straining back sudden tears. "Stupid Kagome," he growled. "You should have moved out of the way. You had ample time to move."
"I think she would have…she had another soul possessing her body, yes?" Sesshomaru replied, not showing any emotion whatsoever. "Maybe Naraku implanted evil in her soul as he attacked her. That evil made the soul hate Kagome so much that she was even willing to die in order to bring Kagome down for Naraku. But Kikyo-"
InuYasha blinked as a tear dripped onto his shirt. Whether it was his or his brother's, he had no idea. "I suppose there won't be anybody to have glaring matches with you, eh?" he joked miserably.
"She was good at glaring," the youkai concluded. "And possibly good at a million other things, too. She would have been a good pawn for me to use in society." Although it sounded like Sesshomaru was thinking only of himself, InuYasha knew all too well that this was the best way the youkai could pay a compliment without embarrassing himself. But all the same…
"No need to hide it, Sesshy, I already know your feelings," InuYasha said.
"Oh really? But you don't seem to even know your own, going on about how stupid what's-her-face is when she didn't get out of the way-and yet you love her."
"Like you love Kikyo," InuYasha blurted out in a desperate attempt to save himself.
"Don't talk about that wench anymore!" Sesshomaru's eyes glowed red for a second before turning back to their original colour, and his expression softened slightly. InuYasha instinctively took a step back, unsure of what would come next. Then, "She doesn't exist in this world anymore. She's just a memory of the past now."
And with those words, Sesshomaru flipped his silver hair back over his shoulder and returned to the car. Without saying anything else, InuYasha followed, still unsure of whether he could explain a huge hole that was growing in his heart-was this Kagome's doing? Stupid wench, why'd she have to die? InuYasha choked back a sob. Why couldn't he have been quicker in intercepting the blow?
With Sango, Miroku and Koga
Though she twisted and turned, Sango couldn't get to sleep. How could Miroku and Koga sleep so soundly? Weren't they Kagome's and Kikyo's friends as well? Turning her body so that she was staring at the ceiling, Sango sighed, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill down her face. Why didn't Kagome get out of the way? Had that cursed second spirit in her body killed her on purpose? Or was she just not concentrating? Why had Sesshomaru saved Kikyo yet killed her in the end? There were so many mysteries left to solve after this tragedy…Sango closed her eyes, throwing all thoughts of Kagome and Kikyo into the back of her mind, but it didn't help. "Argh, why can't I just go to sleep and have some peace to myself?" Sango opened her eyes again-and stared into the face of Miroku.
"Peek-a-boo!" he said brightly, poking Sango dangerously close to her chest.
"Hentai man!" a loud slap echoed through the room, and Miroku flew off the bed and onto the floor, looking stunned and hurt. "You didn't have to do that," he said.
"Well, I thought it was necessary to!" Sango lowered her head so that her bangs covered her eyes. "How can you be like this after-that?"
"W-ell, it's a long story," the performer admitted, taking a seat on a nearby armchair. "But Koga and I have a nice surprise for you at the end of this cursed trip, I'll tell you that."
"And…what about your newfound alchemy powers?" Sango asked. "I remember reading in one of those books you bought… 'Those that have been through the Gate have true knowledge and don't need to draw the transmutation circle, but have given up something in return for true knowledge.' What did you give up?"
"Hm, I don't know," Miroku replied, frowning. "I never really got around to reading those books…but since I don't need the transmu-whatever circle…it's odd. Maybe my parents shoved me through that Gate when I was too young to remember anything?"
The joke was a feeble one, but Sango smiled anyway, showing that she understood. "That would be cruel, shoving your own child through a gate for true knowledge-many people have grown wise enough without having to lose something!"
"I know…but maybe they didn't know the rules at the time or something," Miroku said, and Sango rolled her eyes, glad that they had something other than the deaths of her friends to discuss.
"There you go again Miroku, being your hopefully retarded self."
"When wasn't he?" a voice from behind them said, and the two turned around to see InuYasha and Sesshomaru come over.
"Back from the beach so soon?" Miroku asked, putting on a perverted grin. "Sango and I were just having some fun time to ourselves…"
"Discussing alchemy, of course!" Sango added, glaring at Miroku. What did this idiot want to do, get himself slapped forever?
"Right," Miroku stood up and smoothed his pyjamas down. "Hey Koga, you lazy old guy, get up, we're going somewhere!"
A dark lump by the wall suddenly reared up, and a clumsy hand stretched out and groped around on the night-table, obviously searching for something. As the hand came to rest on an alarm clock, the rest of the huge figure reared up, throwing the blankets onto the bed. A huge monster clambered off the bed and straightened.
"What now, where are we going?" Koga asked, smoothing his messy hair.
"Koga you were so scary! For a moment there, old buddy, I thought you were Naraku come back from the dead!" Everybody laughed, half-heartedly, at InuYasha's jibe. Koga gritted his teeth and threw his pillow at the hanyou.
"Mangy mutt!"
"Fleabag!"
"No good moron!"
"Impatient wolf!"
"Stop bickering like a pair of old ladies," Sesshomaru grunted. "We've got enough on our hands without you two getting in each other's bad graces."
"As if we aren't already," InuYasha muttered, but he broke off the chain of insults he had prepared beforehand and sank down onto his bed, sighing heavily. Even arguing with Koga didn't bring him the pleasure that came with arguing with Kagome. "But I've got too little time on my hands now to be talking with a stupid wolf like you."
"Shut up, mangy mongrel," Koga growled before turning his attention to the rest of the group. "Okay fine, where are we going now?"
"Have fun?" Sango's eyes brightened for a quick moment, and then she lowered her head and added, "But it's not fun without Kagome and Kikyo now."
"Hate to say this, but they're already gone. Let's try and get over this, ok? We'll tell their parents in good time," Miroku said gently, patting Sango on the back. "For now, let's go and really have some fun…at the Galleria?"
Sango's troubles were forgotten in an instant. "Shopping at the Galleria? Wow, I've always wanted to go shopping there-it's my dream come true!" And with sparkling eyes, the happy Sango dragged a now unhappy Miroku out of the hotel room. You could hear agonizing screams and shouts in the hallway.
It was a rather hot day, so InuYasha bought an ice cream for everyone but Sesshomaru (who bought one himself because he couldn't ever bring himself to say 'thank you InuYasha'), and the noise of the Galleria was heavenly music to the gang's ears compared to Naraku's booming tones in the quiet, spooky castle. Along with the shops, the effect was enough to put Kagome and Kikyo out of everyone's minds for a while-except InuYasha's. Whilst everybody else were buying clothes and having a good time, the hanyou sat on a bench and began to ponder about Kagome and Kikyo.
Kikyo had been the cool, reserved one, but underneath it all was a kind, caring soul. Kagome, on the other hand, was fun and rather loud, but she knew when to argue and when to hold back. She also seemed to be a bit ditzy at times.
A group of children danced and skipped past, play-arguing over something. Their parents followed behind, smiling and talking. It would be a long time before InuYasha could have a good argument again, and he would never feel privileged enough to look after someone again.
"Stupid Kagome," he grumbled, turning away from the group of children to look at his shoes. "You just had to get yourself killed. What about me? What did you expect me to do? Save you? Well, I just wasn't fast enough…"
It felt terrible just thinking about that fateful day.
"Hey, InuYasha, don't just sit there moping around, come and join us; we're having so much fun!" Sango squealed with joy as she dragged Sesshomaru, Miroku and Koga along with her. When she saw InuYasha's expression however, her expression softened, and she looked sad. "I try not to think of them so much," the girl whispered. "Just try and help me get over them, please? It might help you, too."
"Alright," InuYasha managed to smile, but it was a forced one. "Let's go…buy…um…"
"Shoes!" the old Sango seemed to return again. "Let's go buy shoes! Oh, what a wonderful day this is!"
Despite those words and the cheery façade Sango put on, nobody was fooled by the way their friend really felt.
A/N: Seven more pages of writing…I'm proud of myself. :D Please review!