Disclaimer : I do not own Evangelion, although like many others I wish I did. I own none of the characters. This is a normal Eva fic, not sure about Eva battles because I am trying to focus on Shinji's torment and hopeful revenge, hehe. Addition (18 months after starting) screw that last bit, this whole chapter is an eva battle! WHOO! Read and Review, I need criticism and I need to know people are reading this garbage. Anyhoo, on with the show!

Right then

'Thought'

"Speech"

"(Actions in speech)"

Radio

Quick note : Some people have mentioned confusion between who is speaking when, I know myself it's not very clear… however, in most cases it is implied by what they say and how they say it. If it isn't clear, and especially if it's a generic line that any of the characters could say then I leave it up to your imagination. E.g. if we're in the command centre and someone yells "Oh my god!" or "Detecting high energy emissions" it could be any of the techs, it's up to you who says it, while "Give me a report!" will be more likely Misato although there may be something in the bulk text indicating its more likely Ritsuko, either way lines like that rarely have massive impact on the story anyway!

-

'It can't be working… can it?'

"HOLY CRAP!"

Shinji had already moved into the trees around terminal dogma when he began to feel the ground shake beneath him. He pondered how strange it was, he was in the outside world but at the same time he was inside the eva, looking through the Eva's eyes and feeling with the Eva's hand. His sudden profanities came as the purple colossus tore through the exterior wall of terminal dogma, launching itself into the air. Shinji couldn't help but admire how the eva looked from the outside when it was moving, although at the same time he couldn't believe the size of the sword he picked up. The massive piece of metal was attached to the back of the shoulder restraints on the Eva's right side, he recalled the image in his head as he climbed, a schematic view of Nerv beyond the walls he smashed through. Then suddenly a flashing light selected the sword just to his right and there it was, figuring 'why not?' he picked up the sword and continued the ascent. Shinji looked up at the eva, and somehow the Eva looked back down at him, it was very strange, then without a moments notice the eva dropped to one knee and held out its arm to Shinji.

"Why thank you."

Climbing onto the oversized appendage he sprinted up to the entry plug and leaped inside, he immediately closed and sealed the plug, allowing it to fill with LCL. He didn't have any time to lose, he needed to get to Rei, that was when he heard her voice.

'I'm… going to die…'

"Rei…"

Shinji then focused all of his energy downwards, everything he had, all the muscles in the Eva's legs and all the force in their combined AT fields. Then in spectacular leap Shinji beat every high-jump record set… ever… Unit 01 took to the sky with a perfect arc to make it through the hole in the geofront. As he got closer the radios blurred into existence but he could only hear Rei's voice in his head. She was in pain, he had to save her… as he began to pass through the armour layers he leaped against the rim to accelerate himself. Then just before he got into view he heard Rei's final message.

'Good bye, Shinji.'

'Where are you going?'

Shinji uttered as Unit 01 passed over the top of the armour layers, landing shallowly on the surface of the geofront and sliding several hundred metres on one knee. As Shinji stopped he raised the Eva's head, thinking he had made a heroic entrance, then he would simply do away with the enemy and everyone could just go home. Things were not as he had hoped.

Shinji!

Unit 01 stopped moving, across from him was quite possibly his worst nightmare, the blue and white unit 00 was being held in the air by a sword in the red unit 02's hand. Shinji didn't have to be an eva expert to know that Asuka was the only one who could synchronise with unit 02, he just knew as soon as he saw the scene that Asuka was killing Rei. As he stared a little longer he realised that he had missed the radios as he jumped, he was so focussed on Rei that he missed Misato pleading with Asuka. Shinji seemed to stand, totally immobile, it didn't make sense to him, Asuka had left, why would she be piloting Eva and why would she be hurting Rei?

"A…Asuka…?"

Unit 00 began to lower, once its feet touched the floor the rest of the body just slid off the sword into a heap on the floor. Asuka brought the sword back down towards her side, but unit 02's head was turned away from unit 01. Something meant that she couldn't look Shinji in the eye, even if there was layers of circuitry in-between. The two accompanying Evas were off to one side, they didn't seem to be moving either, they had obviously both heard stories of the infamous third child. Bringing up the energy and courage to speak, Shinji tried to understand the situation he was in and what was truly going on.

"Asuka… why are you here? Why are you hurting Rei?"

…

"Asuka… please answer me."

…

"Please Asuka, tell me what is wrong… don't you love me anymore? I love you still…"

You never loved me.

There was definite spite laced within Asuka's speech, Shinji was unsure how to react, even at the height of her hate Shinji campaigns she never managed to sound that hate filled. All other radio channels had gone silent, Misato and the Command crew obviously happy that Shinji was alive but they had also realised he may have a better chance to get through to Asuka. At the same time they had missed the Commander sliding to the floor, Fuyutsuki helping him regain balance but at the same time noticing the tears that appeared from beneath his tinted glasses.

"Asuka… I did… I told you my heart… I've always loved you…"

YOU LIAR

Everyone was taken back by the argument, emotions were raging on every level imaginable, people feeling sorry for Shinji putting his heart on the line but also wondering why Asuka was so upset… and after all that still anxious about the fact that Asuka had turned on them. Although the one feeling the most confused was Rei, the pain in her shoulder was subsiding as the circuits began to cut off within the eva but this was quickly replaced by another pain, one in her heart.

"Why would I lie?"

Where were you when I called you last week?

'Bollocks'

Shinji went silent, he got the impression that Asuka's pain went far deeper than him being busy when she rang, added to the fact that she had no way of knowing he was at Rei's. Of course the pain of guilt he felt was unfounded, what happened with Rei was nothing sexual, it was simply helping a friend, whether or not Asuka would see it as such was the problem. After a few seconds of silence Shinji spoke.

"I… I was helping Rei, she was ill…"

At 3 in the morning? They were right about you! Right about all of you!

"They…? Asuka who are they?"

Shinji had little time to think about what Asuka had said, as the sword she wielded spun and was left hanging over the crumpled form of Unit 00. He watched as Unit 02 gripped the sword with both hands and lifted the sword, ready to plunge it into the chest of Unit 00.

"Asuka! No don't Asuka!"

With a slight tilt of its head in Shinji's direction, Unit 02 brought the sword down with incredible speed, in the Command Centre, Maya closed her eyes as the other staff stared at the screen with dread. They watched as the sword came into contact with Unit 00 and pierced the outer armour, tearing it away like there was nothing there. Rei screamed, a sound that filled Asuka's heart with a sickening joy that she herself wished she didn't feel. Rei felt the tearing on the front of her chest, this time she knew she wouldn't survive, that was until the tearing stopped. Asuka felt the sword twist in her hands, something was forcing it to the side, not only that but the blade itself was bending. Within a second the blade had shattered, sending shards of metal flying through the shroud of the last Eva, revealing its green armour.

"What?"

Asuka's head turned to the right and she could just make out Unit 01 with her Eva's peripheral vision, once Unit 02's head had moved around she saw Unit 01 holding out its arm. The arm dropped to its side then it began moving towards the three Evas, each step crushed all the buildings around it.

I'll save you Asuka… From whatever is causing you so much pain… I'll protect Rei and I'll protect you… Just let me…

The screen that appeared in the place of Unit 01's head showed the video link between Unit 01 and Unit 02, Shinji's head was down and as he walked closer to Asuka it raised showing grey hair and blood red eyes. Asuka stared at it for a moment before she grabbed her head and began screaming.

"NO! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! NO! KEEP AWAY!"

Unit 02 then grabbed its own progressive lance, she opened it up and began to charge at Unit 01. As she did she watched the massive sword on Unit 01's shoulder swing down, the entire shoulder bracket spun so the blade was facing the ground. There was a hiss and a pop as the restraints released the blade and it felt smoothly into Unit 01's hand, holding out the massive device to the side, the purple goliath continued its steady approach. Asuka screamed as she ran into Unit 01, the lance gliding off the surface of the sword and Shinji simply tossed her aside, using her own momentum to trip her. With the sword held out beside it, Unit 01 began its approach on Rei, Unit 06 quickly approached Shinji while the still slightly shrouded Unit 07 ran towards Rei. Both Units pulled out progressive knives, as Unit 07 slid on its knees towards Rei, ready to end her unit 01 jumped. Unit one took a massive sprinting step, getting past unit 06 before the Eva had a chance to react, then Shinji used the sword to take a large slice at Unit 07. Rei looked up at the Eva overhead ready to tear her apart with its knife then watched as it simply disappeared in an instant as the sword collided with it.

Rei… are… you okay?

"Yes Shinji… I'm fine…"

I'm going to get you out of this.

Unit 01 slowly turned to face its enemies, the three Evas were scattered about the battlefield, scrambling to get their weapons they seemed to be petrified of the purple monster wielding the massively oversized sword. None of the enemies had been damaged yet, beyond the armour torn by Unit 00's progressive knife on Unit 06. Shinji could see that the three Evas were communicating through lasers, it would be impossible to intercept and translate so he waited, he didn't want to kill the pilots, more than that, he didn't even want to hurt them. He waited for them to begin their attack, he also knew he was far stronger than Asuka, so hopefully, stronger than the other two as well, as he waited he heard the radios crackle but it wasn't the voice he expected talking to him.

Shinji?

"F… Father?"

Are you hurt Shinji?

"N… No… I'm fine…"

Shinji, we have much to talk about…

"Father don't take this the wrong way… but did you hurt your head?"

Heh heh, no son… I just know you are ready…

"Ready for what?"

The truth, but for now… for now you must eliminate your enemies, they are following the orders of my superiors, they want us all dead, if they get past you… they will use Asuka to end all of mankind.

Stop lying you sick bastard, we are going to stop you from harming others like you harmed me!

"Asuka?"

In the Command Centre all heads focussed on Gendo, they had already turned that way at the heart felt conversation between father and son, but they were wondering what Asuka meant by 'harmed her'. Misato knew the tone that Asuka had used, it was the same tone she had in her voice when the angel had attacked her mind, if Gendo had harmed her it was more than just emotionally. Gendo looked at the screen for a moment, there was a tone of confusion on the other side of the tinted glasses, it was obvious to all present, that he honestly had no idea what Asuka was talking about. After a few seconds Fuyutsuki whispered something in his ear and he answered equally quietly, they both frowned, Gendo's head lowered then raised again.

So you remember then?

Even through the radios everyone could tell that Gendo was back to his normal stoic self, the single drive individual that would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. Everyone outside the command centre began to feel a sharp stinging in their hearts, was Asuka telling the truth? How far had he gone? All waited for Asuka's response, in the entry plug of Unit 02, Asuka began to feel tears forming in her eyes.

"Remember? Remember how you inspected your precious Second Child! Inspected inside and out! You thought I wouldn't remember! You thought I would blank it out! But I remember you bastard! And I'm going to get you back by killing your precious First and Second Children!"

Asuka pushed past her two allies, heading towards Unit 01 and Unit 00, the two Evas stepped forwards to try and stop her but they were two slow.

Unit 02 stop!

Shinji watched as Asuka approached, her lance held out ready to impale Unit 01 and then hack at Unit 00, he on the other hand was totally overloaded. He had managed to become totally calm and collected when he was faced with Asuka attempting to hurt Rei. That was an easy choice, remove Asuka from Unit 02, get her whatever help she needed and live as before. Now he didn't know what to think, his father showed him affection, but at the same time had his father sexually abused Asuka as a child? Would his father even stoop that low? The confusion was too much, the total control he had over his emotions slipped as his hair slid back into a deep brown, he didn't know what to think. Although he wasn't given much time to come to his own conclusions, the lance cut through Unit 01's shoulder, pushing him back. The pain snapped him out of his trance, he faced Asuka, pulling the lance into him so the vibrating section of the lance was out of his flesh. He knew Asuka needed the lance, so as long as he held on he would be able to hold her in place, he dropped the anti-AT sword to the ground and held the lance (somewhat painfully) with both hands. He looked down at the ground, seeing that there were three colossal energy cables heading into the distance he knew that there must be some support vehicles. He also knew that he could sever the cables, it would still leave him with three enemies with five minutes power the knowledge that they needed to use the five minutes to do as much damage as possible. Or worse yet, retreat to return another day. For the time being he had to convince them to stop, or stop them himself.

"Asuka, snap out of it! I'm sure my father wouldn't have gone that far!"

Shut up! You are as bad as he is! You would have done the same if I hadn't have stopped you!

'No! Stop I'm on!'

"Asuka… did you think I would have…"

Of course you would, you men are all the same! Especially Ikaris!

"Asuka I would never have done that to you! I loved you!"

I've never experienced love… I don't know what it's like to love or be loved! All because of you!

Unit 02 began to force Unit 01 back, Unit 01's right leg went back to stabilise itself but the leg quickly began to bend at the knee, Shinji feeling his Eva leaning backwards was left not knowing what to do. He pushed back at Asuka noticing that behind him was Unit 00, not only was Asuka impaling him, she was trying to impale Rei at the same time. As Shinji's hair decreased in colour, quickly slipping into black an internal struggle began.

-

'Hmmm… see what happens when you love someone… it just causes more pain.'

The current Shinji turned to face what appeared to be himself from almost a year ago, stood wearing the school uniform, his hair short and brown, his muscles non-existent and his demeanour, passive.

'But without love, what is there to life?'

'No pain.'

'I would rather live in a world with pain and love, that one with nothing at all!'

'I hate to tell you this dude, but… you're not getting anywhere…'

Beside Shinji was now another version of himself, this one dressed similarly to Toji, hair short and stood quite broad. Shinji was unsure of what form this was, he was sure it was the Shinji he wanted to be, the one he wanted to be when he became friends with Toji, seeing how cool Toji was, never flinching, never scared.

'Pain is necessary growth, just because I'm feeling pain now, doesn't mean it will always be there.'

'Well take it from me, I'm pretty sure you know what's causing your pain now.'

'Of course, it's Asuka… not much I can do about that…'

'My suggestion… would be to eliminate her…'

This voice was chilling, from beyond the Toji-alike there was another Shinji, this one had bright red eyes and was draped totally in black. It slinked towards Shinji and draped itself over him, exposing its almost skeletal arms to Shinji, whispering in his ear.

'It would be so easy with… our strength…'

'I hate to agree with him… but maybe it is necessary…'

In front of Shinji was a blue haired, red eyed Shinji, obviously being the Shinji that loved Rei, the one that wanted to protect Rei.

'I want to protect Rei, I will protect Rei, but I will do it my way! Without destroying Asuka…'

'Why? Because you love her?'

Now Shinji was faced with what appeared to be a mirror image of himself.

'Who are you?'

'The you that wants to love Asuka… but you only want to… while the others are so clear cut… I'm variable… like you.'

'Variable'

'You love and hate her, or at least you think you do. You see Asuka has always needed someone, you know that… that's why you love her.'

'Just to be there for her?'

'Yes… admittedly she is hot… but you don't love her, you just hoped you could be there for her and eventually change her. That's why he exists, because you knew you could change her but she would never let you.'

'Don't listen to him! He's trying to stop you doing what is necessary! Do you want to be baka hentai forever?'

'Wait… all those times… it was you making me angry…'

Shinji gripped the skeletal arm and threw the owner over towards the other Shinjis that stood in a line. The black Shinji with his red eyes, while the other Shinjis happily bunched together they actively avoided this one.

'You! You have been there from the start! Trying to make me hurt her! But I resisted you, I became friends with her and I got close to her, I haven't been so angry in so long because you lost your strength!'

'No! No! I am you! I'm what you want!'

'I want them… the others, I want my love for Rei, my feelings for Asuka, my past, my present, the me I want to be in the eyes of others, they are what and who I want to be. I have no room in my heart for hate.'

With that the remaining Shinjis began to fade, leaving the single darkened figure alone, from within its blackened shroud it pulled out a long black sword. Running towards Shinji he found the anti-AT sword in his hand, slicing the hate in half he suddenly felt a lifting feeling. The black shroud disappeared and in its place was him, black haired and red eyed, but him none the less. Shinji looked and held out his free hand.

'I have no place for hate, anger… anger is necessary but not hate…'

The other Shinji smirked before their hands met and they shared a hand shake. The second Shinji merging with the first, becoming a single, brown hair, blue eyed Shinji Ikari.

-

"You're right Asuka… I don't love you."

What?

"I don't… but I care about you… I want to protect you and be there for you… but I won't let you hurt the one who loves me!'

DIE BAKA!

Unit 01 began moving forwards, straightening up while still holding the lance in place, then with a turn he picked unit 02 off the ground. Once Asuka was in the air he quickly spun, sending the Eva flying through the air, he removed the lance from his shoulder and proceeded to snap it in two. The other Evas began to advance towards him, he picked up the anti-AT sword, facing them he held out his hand.

"I'm giving you this chance to surrender, deactivate your Evas and eject the entry plugs."

The enemy continued their advance, Shinji sighed and pulled the trigger on his right hand handset. Outside the massive anti-AT sword opened, inside there were two S2 like plates in the centre, they glowed slightly engulfing the sword in a red plasma. This did not phase the incoming Evas, they continued their approach and with a single glance to check on Asuka's location Shinji jumped into the air. He spun the sword around his head then sliced straight down, his aim was perfect, he sliced through Unit 06's progressive knife, through the Eva's shoulder and totally removed its arm. Although he was convinced the enemy pilot would be in pain, it would not be enough for him to die. He then blocked an attack from unit 07, the progressive blade it wielded coming into contact with the broadside of the massive sword. After several seconds of pushing the opposing blade shattered and the enemy Eva dived head first into Unit 01, Shinji's hand reached out and grabbed it by the head. He knew this would not be pleasant for the pilot.

"Eject the plug or I crush your head."

There was no reply, just some frantic flailing, it managed to cut through some of Unit 01's leg armour with the remains of the progressive sword, but without the vibrations it barely caused any damage. Shinji closed his hand slightly, causing the outer head case to crack, he could see and feel the flailing increasing and as the outer armour totally shattered the Eva went silent. He watched the back open and he saw the entry plug eject, he dropped the Eva to the ground and carefully removed the entry plug. Turning he removed the Entry plug from unit 06, noticing the destruction and spray of blood, he figured that unit 06 must have been rolling around in pain before finally giving up and ejecting the plug. He held both plugs in his free hand, he moved next to unit 00, Rei was stood atop the crumpled form of her eva, waving to him. He placed the two entry plugs down next to unit 00, making sure the hatches were both facing the ground, he didn't want them escaping or hurting Rei. All this time he had seemingly forgotten Asuka, that was until the scream came over the radios.

Shinji watch out!

Shinji knew what was coming however, he quickly turned and held the sword facing the ground. The energy beam hit the sword and deflected into the sky, once it finished he moved towards Unit 02, stood on the other side of the crater it was holding Rei's rifle. It was not drawing external power anymore but at the very least it had a full battery left, he also noticed that Asuka would be especially frantic as she had disconnected her own external power. He ran towards the crater, slicing in such a way that blocked all of the energy blasts, he reached the crater and took into the sky. Asuka followed him all the way up, the blasts arcing into the distance and as the final shot warning appeared on the screen he altered her aim.

I'm dead anyway, I might as well cause you as much pain as possible.

"Oh Asuka…"

-

Author note : Only one or two chapters now, I know some of you are probably happy I updated so quickly. I definitely want some comments about this chapter, although the bit with Asuka and Gendo was planned from the beginning, Shinji's inner battle was added 'on the fly'. Tell me whether or not you liked it, because I'm not too sure myself. Am open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Anyway, hope to have next chapter up soon.