Yay, I updated this stupid fic!
Sahxyel - Yes, Axel's voice is... -drools- and Mar-Mar is SO freakin' hot (there's your adjective) at the beginning of KH2. And thanks for that lil' idea! I'll start a Marluxia fan club! ... Just gotta figure out where and how.
sonicchica - THANK YOU for the idea! I had NO idea what to do with this chap until you reviewed! -hugs-
Nikkiname: Yay! New reviewer! And, yes, Sora is a moron... but he's not the only one.
Quick note: Did anyone notice that, in KH2, they made a typo? During the day where they're searching for the Seven Wonders of Twilight Town, they typed "It was just a dog trapped in a bad" instead of "It was just a dog trapped in a bag."
Chapter 3 - Chores at Their Worst
"Chores!" everyone shouted, standing up.
"Yep, chores," I confirmed. I held up yet another scroll. "I wanna keep this castle as clean as possible for when our next guests come."
"There's gonna be more?" Axel groaned, hanging his head.
"Yep. They'll be arriving in Chapter 5. Now, back to the chores." I cleared my throat and looked down at the list, knowing that everything was about to turn hellish for them. "Kairi, you dust the dining room."
"Why?" Kairi inquired.
I looked over at her and narrowed my eyes. "Because it's dusty. Now can we move on?" I rolled my eyes and turned to the list again. "Axel, you burn the trash."
"Can't you just use the trash cans?"
Again, my eyes narrowed. "Sure, the garbage man comes to this alternate universe every Tuesday. Again, shut up so I can go on." (A/N: My garbage man really does come every Tuesday.) "Riku, mop the dining room floor after Kairi finishes dusting it. Marluxia, tend to the plants 'cause I know you love flowers." Marluxia smiled, much to my pleasure. "And, finally..." I teleported a small piece of paper in front of Sora's face.
"WHAT!" the spiky-haired boy gasped, falling backwards onto his butt and Kairi's feet.
"Sora!" Kairi screamed, pulling her shoes out from under Sora's tush. "Find another place to park your ass." She covered her mouth in surprise and looked up at me. My fingers were wiggling and glowing pink. "Hey!" she shouted, stomping her foot. "Stop controlling the dialog!"
"Why don't you make me?" I taunted, crossing my arms.
"Hey, I just realized," Larxene began, "that you didn't give me any chores."
"Oh, yeah, I know."
"What?" the others cried.
"That's not fair!" Kairi whined.
"Oh, quit your whining and start your chore-ing before I decide to turn you guys into piles of dust that will be swept up."
In an instant, everybody except Larxene was out of the room. The blonde was left standing there, looking around. "I'll... just go to my room," she whispered, sliding toward the door and fleeing down the hall.
A mischievous grin appeared on my face as I rubbed my hands together. "Let the fun begin."
"So, all I have to do is sweep up the dining room?" Kairi asked as I handed her a broom and dustpan.
"Yep, that's it," I replied, smiling innocently.
Kairi grinned with joy. "Wow. I expected it to be something like, cleaning out the gutters."
"Eh, I felt nice for once." I laughed half-innocently. "Enjoy it while you can." I held my hands up and vanished in a puff of pink smoke, but I was far from being gone.
Kairi giggled and swept a dust bunny out from a corner. This was where the fun part came in. I shot an invisible beam of light at the pile, causing it to grow and take the shape of a three-headed, miniature dragon. Kairi sighed. "Alicia!" she called. "I know you did that!" When I didn't answer, Kairi looked down at the "monster" and laughed. "You think this'll scare me? Come on, it's just a stupid..."
The dragon's eyes began to glow red. It hissed and drooled blood-red liquid onto the floor. Kairi screamed and tried to run, but I decided to make Kairi "vanish" for a little while. At this point, she could see me since we were both invisible.
"Hey!" she shouted, putting her hands on her hips. I quickly slapped a piece of tape over her mouth, giggling.
"Kairi?" Riku called form down the hall. "Kairi, are you done yet? I need to..." Riku walked into the room and dropped the bucket of water all over the floor. "K-Kairi?" The only thing he saw was the "blood" on the floor and the strange dust-dragon. And, of course, he saw the completely visible piece of tape that I had placed on invisible Kairi's mouth just floating there. "OH MY GOD!" he shouted before running toward the door, stepping on the bucket, falling flat on his butt, and sliding across the floor with his foot in a bucket. He ended up running into Sora, who was on his way to the bathroom down the hall.
"Riku!" Sora gasped, jumping into the air. "What the heck are you doing?"
Riku was panting and shaking with fear. "Kairi was eaten by a pile of dust and there was a floating piece of duct tape and then I stepped in a bucket and slipped on my butt and ran into you!" he exclaimed, gasping for breath.
"..." Sora could say nothing for several seconds. "Riku?" he finally asked. "Did Alicia deprive you of any sort of medication?"
"I'm serious!" Riku persisted, standing up and grabbing his best friend by the arm and running to the dining room (with his foot still in the bucket). He looked into Sora's eyes and pointed at the room.
"Oh, hi, guys!" I greeted. Riku's jaw dropped as he turned to me. "I was just helping Kairi out a bit."
"All done!" Kairi announced, dumping the dust out of the dustpan and into the trash can.(Okay, I lied. I do have a garbage person in this universe.)"Thanks for the help, Your Majesty."
Now, Sora's jaw dropped. I smiled sweetly. "Now, Sora and Riku, don't you two have something to do?"
"B-But the dust and the blood and the tape and..." Riku stuttered, his eyes wide.
"Riku, are you okay?" Kairi asked.
"But, but, but, but..."
"Riku, stop stuttering and get a mop and a bucket of water," I commanded. "Of course, I could always use some of my authoress powers to..."
Riku was gone in an instant. Sora looked behind him to see no sign of the white-haired boy. "Okay..." he uttered, raising an eyebrow.
"Sora?" I inquired.
"I know, I know," he sighed, walking back down the hall.
As soon as they were all gone, I looked over at Kairi, my normal half-evil look back in my eyes. "Okay, here's the money," I said, handing her fifty dollars.
"That was actually fun!" Kairi giggled.
I grinned from ear to ear. Well, I guess that's someone I could add to my list of good people. Or maybe I should just rip the list apart and make Kairi my assistant. "Well, you're free for the day. In fact, for helping me out, you now have permission to go outside."
Kairi cheered. "Thank you, Your Majesty!" She bowed from the waist before darting out the door.
Idiot, I thought. Just wait until Chapter 4 when you're screaming for mercy again. I looked down the hallway to see Sora preparing to do his little chore. "Eh, he still has another room to go after this. I'll watch Axel suffer now." I spun around and warped out of the room in search of more chances to torment others.
"Why are you making me do this?" Axel growled, holding out his chakrams. (A/N: For those who don't know, chakrams are the fire wheels that Axel uses. Got it memorized? Ooh... That line is hot. Sorry. Back to the story of me being evil.)
"Because I am in charge, I have the authoress powers, and I want to," I replied, smiling slyly.
"What ever happened to that list?" Axel groaned.
"I said not as bad, for the love of Kingdom Hearts! Now get started before I make you do Sora's job."
Axel cringed, causing me to laugh softly. I vanished, leaving only my invisible self and watchful eyes in the room. The pyro sighed and set one of his chakrams on fire. He threw it at the first Eiffel Tower-high pile of trash bags. The whole thing when ablaze, sending a horrible stench into the room. Axel groaned and plugged his nose.
"At least it's not as bad as Sora's job..." Axel groaned, his voice nasal-y.
Andin case you've been wondering what that job was...
"I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life."
"I love this day," I sighed, watching the Keyblade master turn away and plug his nose. He squinted his eyes and continued scrubbing the innards of the toilet.
"What died in here?" Sora groaned, practically crying at this point.
"Whatever it was, you're gonna join it if you don't stop your whining," I half sang, holding back an outburst of giggles. Just for the fun of it, I took the toilet plunger and stuck it on his head, laughing madly.
"You... are the most evil girl on the face of this planet!" Sora growled, pulling the plunger off his head. He ducked down and met face-to-nasty with the large collection of black gunk behind the toilet.
"I'll take that as a compliment." I decided to prove his words correct. I held up my hands as he reached over to throw an old wad of tissue paper away. As soon as his head was hovering over the open toilet bowl, I threw my hand down, causing his noggin to go head-first into the water.
When he came back up, he was coughing and gagging. "Hey!" he shouted, gasping for breath. "That was NOT funn–" His urge to barf stopped him as he tilted his mouth toward the same place his head had been a moment ago.
To be continued...
HA! I am SO evil!
Okay, I need some help. I need some ideas on how to torture my guests while we wait for our two new surprise guests. Wanna know who they are? Here's a hint: They're on my hottie list in my profile.
Again: Review and DON'T FLAME!