A Story About A Girl

Seth woke with a start, a clap of thunder jolting his body into a sitting position. A steady rain was pelting the window, the only noise besides his labored breath. Everything hit him at once. A switch in his mind recalled his dream, of running, of sweating, of searching for… something. That was all. Another boom sounded outside the window. With cold, clammy hands he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, bringing the world into focus to realize he was alone. He glanced across the bed to where all the sheets were bunched up where Summer's head should have been. Nothing. Reaching for his phone he hit speed dial and waited. "Hi, it's Summer…" Click. He felt a stirring in his stomach but dismissed it.

Seth sighed, feeling his stomach grumble. It was almost noon and no one had bothered to wake him up. He had no desire to move and wished Summer was still here so he could cuddle up to her and fall back asleep. His eyes fluttered shut, briefly remembering last night, trying to forget that today was Marissa's funeral. Unfortunately he couldn't blow it off like he wanted. Summer needed him to be her rock. Ryan needed him for support. He needed to get dressed. Slowly he got off the bed, yawning loudly, even over the rain. His legs felt weak, as if the dream had been anything but. Pulling back the blinds he inspected the weather. The wind had the trees bend awkwardly, the rain coming down sideways in sheets and buckets. How very fitting on this day to have hurricane like conditions. He wouldn't be surprised if it was indeed a hurricane, named Marissa, a cherry to top off the dead girl's perfectly tragic life.

Summer walked slowly from her Beemer to Daddy's mansion. The rain soaked through her skin and traveled down to her very core in seconds. It felt good, chilling, till a gust of wind came and ruffled her emotions. Moving her feet was almost impossible. Her whole body felt weighted down, consumed, in confusion, in sadness, in paralysis. Her head was on another planet all together. Without it her body was a lump.

Slowly she opened the front door and stared, not wanting to cross the threshold. It was silent. Oh course. Begrudgingly she trudged the stairs to her room and collapsed on the bed. Her clothes would soak through the sheets but she didn't care. She'd just go to the funeral like this. Jeans and a t-shirt was perfect mourning attire. What did it really matter anyway?

When she saw Princess Sparkle beside her on the bed only one thing came to mind, the thing she was trying in vain to repress. Cohen, her Cohen… forever. But perhaps it was all a big misunderstanding. He couldn't possibly want to tie the knot already. Could he?

Except she didn't believe that for a second, she didn't think she was wrong. Seth always went for the big romantic gestures. She had little doubt that this was anything less than an engagement ring.

Clutching Princess Sparkle tighter, her mind swirled in an endless circle. Her only friend now was a plastic horse, her boyfriend wanted to get married, she wasn't even legal yet, her deceased best friend's funeral was today, she'd be leaving for Brown in a few months. Everything was moving at a lightening pace. The more she tried to block everything out, the faster her mind moved.

"What am I gonna do?" she mouthed to her best friend. "Tell me," she whispered meekly.

Seth made it down to the kitchen a little while later, wearing the same thing he wore to his grandfather's funeral. Ryan was sitting with a bowl of dry cereal in front of him, clearly not dressed, in a wife beater and jeans. It certainly seemed like an ordinary day. Ryan was brooding.

Except there was one thing different when Seth sat down beside him, offering a meek, "morning." He got a dead response, just the clank of his spoon in the cereal bowl getting another bite. Seth would have settled for the sideways glare, but nothing.

"Hey," Seth offered, giving him a pat in the back.

Ryan glanced his way this time and nodded a small acknowledgment before returning to his breakfast.

Seth retrieved his hand, rubbing at his forehead. Was he the only one not affected by Marissa's death? Honestly the only feeling he felt was a remorse for the people she left behind, she abandoned. She had always abandoned them. Couldn't they remember that?

Seth was surprised to hear Ryan's voice. "How's Summer doing?" he asked softly.
"She's… sort of handling it… in her own… Summer way," he rambled, fishing for the right words. "How are you doing?" he asked with some reluctance.

"I need to get ready," he said standing up. He placed his bowl in the dishwasher and left for the pool house, completely dismissing Seth.

"This should be a good day," Seth said to himself, standing heavily to look for food.

Summer was lying on her bed when Seth came in, after having knocked to no reply. She looked the same as she had for the past two days, same clothes, same vacant expression. Last night had been like nothing happened, now it was back to mourning. Deep in his subconscious he was upset by this fact but he would never bring it forward. Summer would most certainly kill him for not allowing her to grieve. Marissa, after all was her best friend. He had to respect that… for one more day.

"Hi," he said sitting by her feet. "Are you going to get dressed? We have to leave in an hour."

"I don't want to," she said curling into the small comfort her pillow provided.

"You're gonna go like that?" he asked carefully, laying a hand on her ankle and rubbing slowly. Her frailty scared him. He had never seen her act so… haphazard about her appearance, not that she needed to get dolled up, because she was beautiful no matter what. Jeans for a funeral though? That was pushing it a little bit.

Summer shook her head and moved away from his touch. "I don't want to go."

Seth sighed. "So we won't go then."

Summer huffed at that. Clearly she wanted to go, but the synapses in her head were misfiring. He didn't really have a clue what she wanted. Then she completely confused him altogether.

"What's gonna happen with us?" She turned on her back so she was looking into his eyes. She looked really sad, her mouth in a slight frown.

Seth's eyebrows wrinkled on their own accord. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, what are we going to do about ya know?"

"Ya know what?"

Summer rolled her eyes. "Ugh… ya know… just forget it." She flipped her legs off the bed, and went to her closet, leaving Seth dumbstruck. Either she had been briefly possessed or she was going bi-polar. Both seemed downright ridiculous.

Summer slowly started stripping her dirty clothes and replacing them with a simple black dress. She did something with her hair that Seth couldn't describe and forgot about makeup. "Let's get this over with," she said reaching for her sunglasses. "I hope it's not open casket." She sniffled behind her glasses and Seth knew the waterworks had started.

They had been at the diner for ten minutes before Summer excused herself. She walked outside but Seth let her go. She had been acting strange all day. She was weeping and hiccupping at the funeral but she barely talked to him. He figured she just needed to sort out everything going on in her head.

Seth and Ryan looked out of place in their suits as Seth sipped his water, Ryan his coffee because he was seriously overtired. The diner had seemed like a good distraction when Seth saw Volchek near the end of the funeral. Had Ryan seen him, he was sure all hell would break loose, meaning Ryan would be doing hard time in the big house. Seth still didn't know what happened "the night" and he wasn't sure if he ever would. He just knew Ryan wanted to whack him in a mafiosa-way.

The waitress came to take their orders and Summer still wasn't back. "Can you give us another minute?" Seth asked her.

"Sure."

"I'm going to go get Summer," Seth said to Ryan, squeezing out of the booth.

Ryan nodded over his coffee.

Summer was leaning over the railing, a trail of smoke floating over her head when Seth found her. He touched a hand to her shoulder. "When did you start smoking?" he asked trying to stay calm.

She shrugged.

"Ok, seriously what is going on with you today?"

Summer flicked the ashes down onto the beach below them, shaking her head. "My best friend just died," she mouthed, icily.

Seth reached for the cigarette, successfully prying it away from her and stubbed it out on the railing. "And smoking solves everything?"

"Don't even… pothead." She was pushing him away and she didn't even know why. Death and marriage. It was like two fronts hitting and colliding and bursting. Nothing made sense.

Seth bit his tongue. If he continued this he would say something he'd really regret. "Fine. I'm going back in." He turned to leave but he only made it a step.

"Wait."

Her voice was sweet, like the Summer he knew and loved and was forced to turn back around. His eyes pleaded with her.

"I'm scared."

Seth reached a hand for her shoulder. "Of what?"

"My best friend is gooone," she whined, sounding more and more like his girl. "I have no more friends."

"What are you talking about? Of course you do." He was trying to comfort her with his words and his hands as they danced along her back but he was slowly breaking.

A little girl are you tripping on this
Are you tripping all over it
You better come up for air

"No, I don't." She shook her head for emphasis.

"Yes you do. I'm your friend. I'll be your best friend. Summer I love you. I'm right here." He felt her slipping away.

And are you waking up slowly
You're nothing but lonely
Are you waking up holding
Holding your breath
And are you looking for something
I promised you one thing
I promise Ill always
Always be
There

"But…" she said shaking her head. "You're not her… you're not… not Coop." A slow tear trickled down her cheek and broke on the ground and so did Seth's subconscious. "You're not a girl."

I know it's stuck inside your head
You're alone
You better get used to it
And I know the feeling has to end
You're strong
It sucks you in again and you're lost
You can't make any sense
This world
It tears you limb from limb
And hold on
You're nothing but the best

"No! I am," he said raising his voice. "I am your best friend! That girl did nothing for you, she wasn't your friend. She never knew how to be your friend. You never deserved her." His insides were fuming. "You have me and you have Taylor and you have Ryan. You don't need her, you never did." It was harsh and he knew it, but she finally needed to hear it. Marissa had just been plain selfish and sweet Summer was so blinded by that one very large fault. He saw it all the time. Why couldn't she?

Summer's eyes went dark and he immediately wanted to take it back. She wasn't sad anymore but she was certainly mad. "What? How dare you…."

"I'm sorry," Seth mouthed, cowering away like a scared child, getting the repercussions of a tantrum. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did," she said distancing herself. "You've never liked her."

"That's not true," he corrected, lying through his teeth.

She turned away from him completely now, sucking in a deep breath. Her bi-polar kicked in again. "Are you going to propose to me?"

Sorry if that sucked. I wrote most of it in an hour. But please review! Thanks for reading!