Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Author's Notes: Ok, this starts the second Arc of the fic. I am going to rename the title, so please be on the look-out for a name change. I had intended for these to be separate stories and I don't feel that "A Time to Heal" is a good title as a whole. I have a few titles in mind, please check out my fourm "Momiji's FMA Forum" (in the Fullmetal Alchemist Forum section)to give me your opinion on what it should be. It's under the topic of "Momiji's Fics".
Here is your warning, more spoilers for the end of the TV series are in this chapter. Please review and give an opinion on the new name (check the forum for that).
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Telling Her Good Bye: Chapter 1
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Colonel Roy Mustang sighed as he pushed back in his chair, dropping his pen onto the desk. He had had enough of this paperwork and he was ready to go home. He was tired and felt unsettled. So many things ran through his head that he just couldn't sort them all out.
He had been back to work for six months now. Things were very much the way they had always been. Lieutenant Hawkeye sat at her desk busy with her own paperwork. As were Lieutenant's Havoc and Breda, Sergeant Feury, and Warrant Officer Falman. There wasn't a single hesitation when each one was asked if they would serve under Colonel Roy Mustang again.
Roy's mind wandered out of control. Why did he deserve such loyal and dedicated subordinates? If they were just trying to help reach his goal so that things would change then why are they still here? The position of Fuhrer no longer exists. What now is their common goal?
It had bothered him more and more lately. Questions like these as well as the guilt of blood on his hands were running him ragged. And then to make matters worse there was Riza.
After his fight with the Fuhrer she took care of him and nursed him back to health. She cooked for him, changed his bandages, and stayed by his side. Just before coming back to work she even shared his bed with him a few times.
Now it was almost as if nothing had ever happened. Sure, she was still under his command and he saw her every day. But he longed to touch her and feel her warm skin. He wanted to let her know how much he appreciated all she did for him.
But he could not fault her for keeping her distance. He knew she did it for his own good. She had to do it for herself as well. The walls have eyes, nosey ones at that. Who knew when or where one of General Hakuro's lackeys would turn up.
He would never forget that day when Lieutenant Havoc came to his desk with what he had just learned. He was chatting with one of the secretaries when he overheard a nearby conversation. General Hakuro had a couple of subordinates who were keeping an eye on the Colonel and his first Lieutenant. Any hint of improper behavior between the two and he would make sure Riza was reassigned. There was even a hint he would try to have her reassigned to his own command. Surely it was just to spite him.
The General didn't have any evil intentions. He just didn't like Roy. He never had. He always saw him as an upstart and he didn't know that Roy actually had good intentions. He just wanted to knock him down a couple of pegs. Take some wind out of his sails.
It didn't really matter to Roy though. Seems most of the generals didn't care for him. He was just too young for his stature and position. He was used to it and just always made sure to watch his back. So he surrounded himself with people he could trust.
But with all that had come to pass things hadn't gotten any easier for Roy and his group. They were just lucky they were able to hide the facts about the disappearance of the Fuhrer. No one ever found out he was really a Homunculus, save for those involved with Roy's plan. And for as many enemies as he had it was a relief that no one knew that Roy had killed him.
The witnesses to the ordeal had been killed by Archer, or the Fuhrer himself. The Fuhrer's wife and the soldiers had been killed by Colonel Archer. Much to his chagrin he wasn't able to catch Lieutenant Hawkeye. Bradley's son escaped in the confusion and made his way to the mansion. It was there that Bradley killed the boy he had adopted for being "foolish". He had brought the skull with him, giving Roy the ultimate weapon.
It was something that had to be done, but regardless it didn't sit well with Roy. Was there no way to get away from the killing? King Bradley had manipulated so many wars just for the benefit of making a Philosopher's Stone. So many people died such meaningless deaths. The removal of King Bradley was something that had to be done. Just the same it only added to the pain that Roy felt in his heart.
So now, here he was. Sitting at his desk with the shadows of the past hovering over him. His recent comfort taken away by a selfish General who saw Roy as nothing but an upstart and a threat to the ranks.
"Sir…. Sir" The voice broke through his self absorbed musings.
"Huh?" Roy snapped back to reality.
"It's time to go home Sir." Riza stood before his desk a concerned look on her face.
"Oh. Thanks." Roy seemed a little out of it.
"Are you ok, you have been unusually quiet today?" Riza's concern showed in the tone of her voice.
"I'm fine, I was just thinking." Roy stood from his desk and moved to get his coat.
"Please let me know if you need anything, Sir." With that Riza turned and left the office. Roy's pained eyes followed her movements out the door.
'What I need is something you can no longer give me. Nor can I ask you to.' Roy thought to himself as he closed the office door behind him.
The bed sheets twisted around his body like the noose around a hanged man. They held him down despite his desperate struggle. A sheen of sweat formed on his furrowed brow, a result of his torment.
Everything was burning all around him. Everywhere he looked it was a sea of orange-red flames. The air smelt of burning flesh and wood, and was thick with ash. Everything was burning and it was all because of him.
Images of bloodied and broken bodies plagued his mind. Men, woman, and children, people of all kinds. The strong, the weak, the sick, and the healthy. There was no discrimination between one or the other. They all had to die.
"Why!" Roy screamed out into the burning heat. "Why do so many people have to suffer, have to die, to satisfy just one person's desires?" He questioned to the inferno received no vocal reply. But instead was answered with the topping of buildings, now crashing down around him. One such building was closer than the others and it only took him a moment to welcome his end.
Roy Mustang awoke with a start. Sitting bolt upright, the tangled sheets still wrapped around his body. He breathed in and out heavily as if he had been running. He brought a hand to his face as if he were looking for comfort. After a minute he wiped the sweat from his brow and flopped back down, his head cradled by the pillow.
The nightmares of Ishbal were becoming more and more frequent. Again. He couldn't clearly remember when they had actually stopped the first time. But he remembered at some point they seemed to have let up. But for the past three weeks they had once again plagued his slumber.
In the same way during most of his waking hours an image of Riza danced in his head. He was tormented by his conflicting emotions when it came to her. He longed to be with her but circumstances demanded they keep their distance. He couldn't help but start to think it might be for the best. He wanted so much more for her. Things he couldn't give her. She deserved much better than his blood stained hands.
It was still a couple of hours before he needed to get up, but he knew sleep would no longer be his friend. Deciding that a hot relaxing shower was in order he made his way to the bathroom. The hot water was soothing to his aching body but it could do little for his aching heart. His thoughts were still drifting off to Riza. He needed the comfort of her warm embrace right now. A comfort he knew he would never have again.
Roy was at the office an hour and a half before usual. Submerged in paperwork he didn't even notice the others filtering in.
"Colonel, Have you been here since last night?" Havoc's voice interrupted his current train of thought.
Roy looked up at the man with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. "No, I just got here early today." Roy went back to his paperwork. For some reason he was looking forward to lunch today.
The cafeteria was the same as always. Officers scattered at tables here and there. Idle chitchat filled the air with the things gossipers love to hear. Roy decided he wasn't in the mood for such an atmosphere today, so he figured he would take his lunch back to his desk. That was until something caught his ear.
A couple of officers were talking about a memorial service that was to be held for the older man that was posted at the Northern Outpost. Seems he was due to retire in just one more year but had just suffered a life ending heart attack. This left the Northern Outpost without someone to oversee it. Central Headquarters had sent someone to cover the position until someone permanent could be found.
"Good luck finding someone." The sarcasm could clearly be heard in the man's voice.
"Yeah, who the hell wants to be up in that frozen wasteland?" The other guy questioned.
"No kidding." The first guy responded. "But this does present a problem."
"Huh?" The other man looked puzzled.
"If they don't find someone it will leave our Northern border unprotected. People's lives could be in danger if it isn't taken care of." The other man shook his head at the possibility of danger. "No one is going to want to do it. There's just nothing there, its no place fit to live in. It's more like punishment than a duty."
'A punishment huh?' With that thought planted in his head, Roy Mustang left the cafeteria.
