I woke slowly, aware of a faint scent of vanilla in the air. My head felt like it had been packed with cotton; my mouth, when I thought about it, was dry. I pushed myself up and headed for the kitchen, feeling a bit unsteady. Thinking about it, I couldn't remember why I felt so bad, or even—this one floored me—how I'd gotten home.
I left the small room I shared with Athrun, noticing only that it was dark except for the orange street-light, and that Athrun's coat was lying on the floor beside my bed. The hall was dark, but I could see the kitchen light and headed for it.
Athrun lay with his head on the table, his odd green hair fanning out around his empty cup, half-hiding his sleeping face. I wanted to brush it back behind his ears and reveal his pale skin, but an odd sense of deja vou stopped me. So did the thought of his reaction, if it woke him. What had happened, I wondered. How had I gotten home? Last I remembered was being out shopping with the man before me. I rubbed my eyes, puzzling, but all I could summon were scraps of memory—crunching metal, the faint scents of vanilla and blood and Athrun's shampoo, Athrun asleep beside me, and finally the brush of something soft against my lips. One hand rose to brush them at that memory, and I noticed with a little shock that it was marked with recent scrapes, as was my whole right arm. Pulling back the sleeve of the t-shirt I was wearing—another thing I didn't remember—revealed a deeper scrape on my shoulder. It looked like I'd fallen and rolled on something rough, maybe gravel. The area around the scab was already turning the deep purple of a bad bruise. I looked down at Athrun again. If anyone could explain, he could. I shook him gently, taking a tiny shred of comfort in the warm solidity of his shoulder beneath my hand.
"wuh...Kira?" Athrun blinked sleep from his eyes and looked up at me, just as I was hit with such a strong wave of familiarity that I almost reeled back a step. "Kira." He seemed to really be awake now. "How do you feel? The docs said the sedative might mess you up a bit." I blinked, slowly.
"No, I'm fine." then the full meaning of what he'd said hit me. "Wait, sedatives?" Athrun's face showed a range of expressions; surprise, relief, worry. "You don't remember?" Something almost like regret flicked across his face before he masked it with worry. Poor Athrun—he'd never been able to hide much from me. "What happened?" I knew he could read the unease in my voice—and what I dimly recognized as anger, though I wasn't sure of it's source. Athrun raised his hands in a placating gesture.
"You remember going out to lunch?" I nodded, calming slightly. "well, we were crossing the street and this truck came out of nowhere. I thought it would get you, but it swerved and you dove out of the way so it missed." At some point in the story Athrun's voice had shifted from shaky calm to the cold detachment of a mission report. I didn't mind; whatever helped him tell it. "I went over to check your status. You were breathing hard and apparently unaware of your surroundings. I attempted to ascertain your condition, but you would not allow me to touch you. A moment later you began screaming, largely unintelligibly, and continued to do so until medical staff was able to sedate you."
Athrun had a very carefully detached expression on his face, and I sat down rather quickly. I could tell from his expression—or lack thereof—how bad it must have been. "They said it was probably combat flashbacks." Athrun added. "They might go away, or they might get worse. Only time will tell." Trust Athrun to tell me the truth, however painful it was. I saw my hands begin to shake, the tell-tale shiver working it's way out from my very bones. A terrible thought had occurred to me.
"What if it does happen again?" I asked, my voice shaking almost more than my hands. My friend opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "What if I hurt someone, next time? It sounds like I had no idea where I was—what if I'd thought you were still my enemy? Oh god, what--" Athrun's chair shoved back and suddenly he was leaning across the small table, green eyes boring holes in me.
"Listen, Kira." his voice and expression were intense, immovable, unforgiving. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't hurt anyone, even though you were out of your mind with the memory. You wouldn't do that Kira. You couldn't do that, because you never attacked anyone that wasn't trying to kill you, and even some people who were!" I must have looked skeptical, because he leaned even closer. "Believe it!"
He was very close, oh god, close enough to kiss and call it an accident. He was also, some part of my mind registered, right. I felt the tension go out of my shoulders, and now my heart was racing for a totally different reason.
"I do believe you, Athrun." I managed to whisper, moving while I spoke to press my lips against his. I saw him blink, the close his eyes, then move his lips gently against mine. Before I could understand his reaction, he turned his head away and stood strait. His empty cup clinked against the table, and he glanced down at it.
"I'm glad you understand." the silence stretched almost uncomfortably until Athrun straightened up, business-like. "I'm going to make more tea. You want some?" I just blinked at him for a moment, then nodded. Something stronger would be nice, but tea would have to do.
AN: This has the potential to turn into a much longer fic. However, for that to happen, I would have to get a really enthusiastic reaction. From more than three people. REVIEW!