I don't own "Lost" or the characters used in this story. I also do no not own "Brown Eyed Girl" which belongs to Van Morrison.
AN: I just wanted to thank everyone that reviewed last chapter. Your feedback really means a lot to me, and I just want to thank you'll for sticking with this story even when it gets a little crazy.
Chapter 18- Saying Goodbye
3 hours had passed since the Marshal had come, and now he was gone. Kate looked down at Jack's watch which seemed to be begging for her attention. Every second that passed by the damn thing ticked louder and louder and it was driving her crazy. She brought her legs close to her body as she looked around the dark shed. A rake was pressed up against the wall in the right corner and a lawnmower was against the door. Kate bit her lip in worry. Jack wrapped his arms around her and then she rested her head against his chest. Kate was emotionally and physically exhausted and she needed a break from all of this stress. The last couple of days Kate had been living her life in paranoia. She couldn't sleep because every time she closed her eyes she saw Timmy, The Marshal or even Wayne, and she was so tired. Kate winced at the mention of all the people that haunted her. She wiped a tear away from her eye as she felt Jack rest his cheek against her forehead and then plant down a soft kiss. Kate gripped onto his tee-shirt for comfort as she tried to close her eyes. Her stomach was growling and she felt so weak. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the only thing she had eaten in a while was the chocolate cake Jack and Chloe had made for her, and she hadn't even finished that.
"Sawyer and Taylor will be here soon." Jack said.
"But what if he's still out there?" Kate asked worried.
"I'm almost positive that he's gone. I heard him get inside his car and drive towards that direction." Jack said signaling south with his hands. "He would be an idiot to stick around here after breaking in like that."
"But if he suspects that I'm still around here…"
"He can't do much about it. You beat him pretty badly Kate." Jack whispered in Kate's ear so Chloe wouldn't hear him.
Kate looked down. She did give the Marshal a pretty severe beating and the thing about it was that she didn't care. "We have to get out of here,"
"We will," Jack said quietly.
Kate nodded as she rested her head back against Jack's chest. He rested his chin on top of her disheveled chocolate curls and then looked around the darkness as he caressed Kate's shoulder.
"You haven't been taking care of yourself," He said in a worried tone.
"I have,"
"How could I not have notice how bad it was, you fainted back there Kate."
"Jack, please don't lecture me right now." Kate begged.
Jack gave in and closed his mouth. He looked at Chloe who was standing by the door and looking outside through a small crack in the door. "Are you okay?"
Chloe turned towards him, "No,"
Jack clenched his jaw because the tone in Chloe's voice broke his heart. He held out his hand and then when she reached for it he pulled her towards him. "No one's going to hurt you."
"But you're leaving," Chloe said in a quiet voice.
Kate sat up. Jack was unbelievably good with Chloe. She on the other hand wouldn't know what to say.
Jack looked at Kate who was moving away from him and then focused back on Chloe. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to say because it was true, they were leaving.
Chloe sat down on the ground and then rested her hands against her cheeks as she looked down. "I don't want you to leave,"
Kate looked away. All of this was almost too much to take. She wanted to stay just to make sure that both Chloe and Taylor were okay, but then again Kate knew that staying would only make matters worse. Kate bit the inside of her cheek as she watched Chloe wipe away a tear with her balled fist.
As Kate expected Jack went over to Chloe to comfort her. Jack's attempts only seemed to upset the child even more.
Kate wrapped her arms around her body, as a feeling of sadness started to overcome her. Her heart beat weakly at the sight of Jack holding the little girl in his arms. Chloe looked at Kate through tear filled eyes.
"What if something happens?" She cried quietly into Jack's shirt.
"You don't have to worry about us, because we'll be okay."
"No, if I don't see you everyday then I will worry." Chloe cried harder.
Kate stood up and turned away from the sight in front of her. She closed her eyes, and tried to shake the image, but the only thing Kate saw was Chloe witnessing Timmy getting shot. Her eyes opened quickly and then she placed her hands over her mouth. Kate swallowed hard at the troubling thought. There was no way Chloe would be able to sleep without having nightmares, if Kate couldn't. Kate bit her lip as she turned around to look at them. She sniffled as she felt a sob starting to come. God, she didn't want to leave them behind. Kate tilted her head to the side as she tried to get herself together. Chloe was such an amazing child, she was smart, sweet, and so innocent. Kate wiped a tear away from her eye. Well at least Chloe used to be innocent until her innocence was taken away from her when they came along. Kate looked up towards the ceiling as the air in the shed suddenly started to grow thick.
"Who will watch after you?" Chloe asked.
"I promise Chloe, that we'll be okay," Jack reassured her as best he could.
Chloe pulled away.
Jack smiled back at her, and tried to signal truth in his warm hazel eyes. He used his thumb to wipe away the child's tears. Unfortunately it didn't help that he was crying as well. He had wanted kids all his life, and there was something about being with Chloe that forced this parental instinct out of him that he didn't know he possessed. She needed reassurance because she was scared, and Jack wanted to be there, but it killed him that after tonight he might never see her again. He drew in a mouthful of air as he looked down at the cold cement underneath his feet.
"I'm going to miss you," Chloe said as she wiped away her tears that kept on falling.
"I'll miss you too,"
Chloe looked down with quivering lips, "Will you come back to…" She wiped away some more tears, "Will you come back to visit us?"
Jack nodded, even though he had a feeling that they would never be able to come back. He hated himself for having to lie to Chloe, but unfortunately there was no other choice.
"You don't have to lie to me," She said in a small voice as she backed away from Jack.
"I'm not lying to you," Jack said placing his hand against her cheek which was rosy from the cold weather outside. "I promise we'll come back."
Chloe nodded. "It's going to be so much scarier without you here,"
Jack looked back at her in concern.
"I get so scared at night that he'll try and come back." Chloe sat down next to Jack. "I get so scared because mommy and I will be alone, and anyone can hurt us now."
Kate went over to Jack and Chloe in tears. She felt herself starting to get a headache from all of the crying but she couldn't help it. "No, he's dead."
Chloe shook her head, "No he's not."
Kate dropped down onto her knees and then placed a hand on Chloe's back. She knew that Chloe had been scared inside all of the time but she had been so good at hiding it until now. "Listen sweetie, that man is dead."
"Every time I close my eyes I see him, and I'm so scared." Chloe placed her hands over her eyes and then looked away in sadness. "I felt safe when you guys were here, because it felt as if nothing else would come. Jack, you're so nice, and whenever I'm scared you're right there," Chloe said as she looked back at Jack with tears streaming down her face. "You always knew how to make me feel better."
Jack wiped at the moist tears on his face. Chloe was so mature that he sometimes forgot how young and vulnerable she was, but it was clearer to him now more than ever.
"And Kate…" Chloe pulled at her pajamas as she tried to stop crying. "I stopped playing with my barbies when you came along." Chloe forced a smile, "Because they don't talk back at tea parties…and none of them are as pretty, and kind as you."
Kate's mouth dropped open in disbelief. It amazed her that Chloe still thought so highly of her after witnessing what she had done to the Marshal. Kate had to look away as Chloe started to cry again. This was like some horrible nightmare that Kate couldn't wake up from. How could she take Jack and Sawyer away from Chloe, and Taylor. How could she after they had been through so much. Kate stood up, and then walked towards the door.
"Kate," Jack called.
Kate turned around slowly as one hand slowly pushed open the door. "Stay here Jack, they need you more than I do."
"Kate," Jack tried to reason.
Kate bit her lip. "I can't take you away from Chloe. Look at her, she's so scared, and she needs you." Kate looked up as she wiped away the last of her tears from her eyes. "After everything that she's been through you can't leave her. She's just a child Jack, and she's already dealt with so much."
Chloe quickly tried to get herself together once again, but her attempts weren't working.
Jack rubbed Chloe's back as he tried to comfort her.
"I'm okay," She said in a small voice.
Kate glanced outside for the Marshal in fear and once her search turned up empty she stepped outside nervously.
"Kate!" Jack yelled.
"Jack," Kate said with a sigh. "He's gone, I'm going to go inside and get changed…and then I'm going to leave, but I have to go on my own."
Before Jack could say anything else Kate had closed the door behind her.
"You can't let her," Chloe replied.
"I know, but you never told me all of this, Chloe, why didn't you tell me how scared you were."
Chloe looked down, "I didn't want to worry you, because you needed to take care of Kate." She bit her lip, "I thought it was mean of me to take away your time with Kate."
Jack shook his head, "No,"
Kate ran back into the house. She had to be crazy for going back inside, but she had to grab some cash and at least a pair of clothes before she could set out on her own. She got a sour taste in her mouth at the thought of being all alone. Kate clenched her jaw as she quickly stepped around the Marshal's blood which now stained Taylor's once clean floor. She had to be fast because knowing the Marshal, he would probably get some stitches and then come straight back. Kate pushed open the door to the bedroom she used to share Jack. Her eyebrows furrowed low over her puffy eyes at the scent of Jack's cologne which lingered in the room. Kate grabbed the suitcase that Jack had started to pack and then quickly zipped it up. Once she had it in her hands, she made a beeline straight towards the door. Jack stepped in with Chloe right behind him.
She looked down. Jack had been like a father figure to Chloe, and now that she thought about it so had Sawyer. Kate knew that she couldn't take them away from Chloe, no matter how much she was in love with Jack, she couldn't be selfish this time. "You don't need to follow me,"
Jack looked down at his ring on Kate's finger.
"Kate, Jack's going with you." Chloe said looking down at the carpet with wide eyes and then looking away.
Kate's heart beat weakly.
"I'll be fine, I'm sorry for crying." Chloe whispered. "I know you have to go, and I understand."
Chloe let go of Jack's hand and then walked over to Kate with her dirty blonde curls bouncing behind her with each step. She reached for Kate's hand and then led her towards Jack. Kate looked down in confusion as Chloe reached for Jack's hand as well, and then brought both Jack and Kate's hands together. "It'll make me sadder if I know that you two aren't together."
Kate dropped the suitcase in her hand and then placed it down on the ground. "I can take care of myself,"
Jack knew that Kate couldn't take care of herself at least not lately. They had all been through so much and he knew that she needed him there for her.
A car pulled into the driveway followed by another.
"Oh god," Kate said quickly stepping inside.
Jack sighed in relief when he realized that it was just Taylor, but he wasn't sure who was in the other car. He raised an eyebrow in confusion until he realized that it was only Sawyer. Where did he get that car from?
Kate knew that it was time for the moment that she had been dreading. They couldn't just sit around and wait for the Marshal to come back, it was time to say goodbye. She sighed as she watched Taylor turn off her car and then run towards them.
"You guys have to leave!" She said urgently.
"We know," Jack replied with a small nod, and a guilty tone. If only he could have the comfort of knowing that Taylor and Chloe would be able to pull their lives back together after they left.
Taylor stepped inside and then she placed her hand to her mouth when she saw the trail of blood on her floor. She stared for a while in shock until she snapped out of it. "Wh…" Taylor stepped aside as Sawyer came in right after her. "What happened?"
"He was here," Kate said looking at Sawyer who automatically knew who she was talking about.
"Where did he go?" Sawyer asked with wide eyes.
"Probably to the hospital, because I kind of attacked him." Kate said in a whisper.
Jack wrapped his arm around Kate's lower waist. "I attacked him…Kate you don't have to lie for me."
Kate looked back at Jack in confusion.
Jack ignored the awkward look that Kate was giving him. He had lied because he knew how guilty Kate felt already about leaving, and he wanted to take some of the pressure off of her anyway he could.
"Cecile is allowing you guys to use her husbands car, ya'll should leave before it's too late," Taylor sighed as she walked over to Chloe. She placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders and then looked back at Jack, Kate and Sawyer sadly.
"Taylor, I don't think I can tell you how much we appreciated you opening up your house to us." Jack felt as if he could mentally kick himself for the inappropriate thank you speech but he didn't know what else to say.
Taylor nodded.
Sawyer placed his hand on Kate's shoulder, "You okay?"
Kate had to look at him twice, because for a second he sounded like Jack asking her that. She managed to get out a weak "yes" and then ask him the same.
"One bullet isn't gonna to take me down, so don't worry about me." He placed his hand to his chest, "Apparently Mr. Psycho had bad aim."
Jack turned around to look outside. He didn't want to leave, but they had to. "Taylor thanks again."
"You're welcome Jack," Taylor brought her hand right beneath her eye and the wiped away a stray tear. "At least let me give you guys some food to travel with,"
As Taylor quickly turned around to head into the kitchen Sawyer followed after her.
He wasn't sure what to say but he knew that he needed to leave her with more than just a goodbye. She quickly brushed past him muttering a sorry as she reached in the cabinet for a bag of chips. Sawyer clenched his jaw as she closed the cabinet and then moved around him to take a 12 pack of cherry cokes from below the bakers rack.
"Hey," He said.
Taylor leaned forward pressing her hands against the table. Sawyer could see that her arms were shaking, but he couldn't read her expression because her hair was covering her face.
Sawyer turned around. Maybe he should just leave it at goodbye. Why should he lie and tell her that he was going to coming back again when he knew that he wasn't.
It was a hot day in Tennessee, one of those days when Sawyer preferred to drive around without a shirt. He had a cowboy hat on top his head which he had stolen from the mart just because it had been laying around. Sawyer smiled to himself as he pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. It felt good to be back in the south, even if it was back in Tennessee where he had more bad memories than good. He beeped his horn loudly as he drove past some attractive looking women with their shirts tied in a knot around their upper chest revealing their slims waists and short skirts. As he passed them he grinned, that was one thing he loved about the heat, women got naked easier. Sawyer chuckled to himself as he turned up the radio. He reached beside him for a bottle of Jack Daniels and took a sip, he paused when a familiar song came on. A smile tugged at the edge of his lips as he turned up the volume with his other hand.
"Well shit," He said with a laugh. Sawyer placed the open bottle of Jack Daniel's between his legs and then tapped along with the beat on the steering wheel. The song that was now filling his rented car was "Brown-Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison.
Sawyer tilted the cowboy hat low over his face as he bobbed his head along with the beat.
"Looking for a good time sexy!" Some random girl screamed at him.
Sawyer ignored the woman because he was currently preoccupied with another woman at the time or at least thoughts of her. Sawyer decided that he was going to stop by and see if she still lived in her parent's old house, which he was almost positive that she did. He pulled off the hat quickly and then checked his hair.
Sawyer chuckled, "Looking sharp Ford," He shook his head as he pulled back on the hat. Sawyer knew that she wasn't in to alcohol so he rummaged around in his jean pockets for a piece of gum, once he found one he popped it into his mouth. Sawyer turned into the driveway of the small house minutes later. There was nothing outwardly special about the one story house, but she had managed to fix it up real nice to make it look like something. An assortment of flowers was sprouting up from the ground and bees were buzzing around them playfully. Sawyer wasn't sure if she was home so he went back to the truck. He turned up the radio as loud as it could go. If Taylor was here then she would come out, because Sawyer knew that "Brown Eyed Girl" was her favorite song.
When he didn't see her, he started to walk around to the back of the house. Sawyer spotted her a little ways away from the house sitting in a chair amongst a field of grass and painting the scenic setting of mountains behind a flowing creek. She turned around once she heard the music blasting.
Sawyer felt like a jackass walking towards her without a shirt and a cowboy hat, but if she found that sexy then he wouldn't feel as much of an ass. He paused and then titled the hat in her direction.
Her mouth dropped open.
At first Sawyer couldn't tell whether she was shocked or excited to see him, or maybe it was both, he couldn't be too sure. But it became obvious to him the second she jumped up.
"Sawyer!" She screamed.
He smiled to himself. His heart was beating like some lovesick fool because he had missed this girl so much. Sawyer looked down in order to hide his cheeks which were probably an embarrassing shade of red, and the dumbass grin on his face that made him feel like a goof. Why did Taylor always have this effect on him? Sawyer looked back up, and watched as Taylor ran towards him. She looked exactly the same as he had last seen her.
Taylor ran towards him with her golden hair flying wildly around her angelic face, and the long brown skirt she wore flowing gracefully around her legs. He didn't know that she had missed him this much. Seconds later she was in his arms.
Sawyer nearly fell backwards as she crashed into him. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck in a life squeezing embrace and her soft hair was now pressed against his cheek. His stomach rose slowly against her own as he held her. "Boy, didn't know ya missed me that much,"
Taylor beamed back at him as she wiped her hands on his arms.
"Sorry I'm all sweaty it's like a damn desert out here with this heat."
Taylor smiled, "I thought I was hallucinating when I saw you coming up here without a shirt and that cowboy hat," She said as she traced her hand along the edge of his hat.
"I got it for a five finger discount down at the mart,"
"Some things never change…and…" She placed her hand back on his shoulder as she realized that "Brown Eyed Girl" was blasting from the cars stereo. "I love that song!"
"I was drivin' down the road and it came on, and damn if I wasn't about to drive past your house until I heard it."
"So it made you stop and decide to say hi to me?" Taylor asked tilting her head to the side cutely.
Sawyer shoved his hands in his jean pockets as he looked around nonchalantly. "I thought I could stop by and pick up some of your southern cookin' before I got back on the road."
Taylor grinned, "Well I'm glad you stopped by, look at you Sawyer!"
"What?"
"You look good!"
Sawyer shook his head, "No I think you got us confused baby."
Taylor nodded as she examined Sawyer's toned body. "You look great, you really do. So what brings you back to Tennessee during this drought?"
"Some business I had to take care of."
Taylor reached for Sawyer's hand, "Well come on inside! I'm sure you're hungry. I can imagine what you've been living off of since last time I saw you."
"Beer and porkrinds." Sawyer answered.
Taylor laughed. "So what else have you been up to?"
Sawyer quickly turned off the car, leaving his keys still hanging from the ignition. Afterwards he closed the door and then followed Taylor inside. Her house was immaculately clean, but he didn't expect it to be any other way because he had always thought she would be the perfect wife. Not his wife, but a perfect wife to another man. Sawyer scowled. Okay maybe he didn't like the thought of her marrying another man. But then again he knew that he was never getting married. As soon as he entered the kitchen he was hit with the smell of fried chicken. Sawyer smiled in satisfaction as he sat down. He kicked off his boots and then leaned against the table.
"I've been in the north a little too long, and I've missed your cookin."
Taylor turned around. "Of course you did."
"And I missed you too."
Taylor laughed, "You didn't miss me,"
Sawyer's blue eyes widened in excitement as Taylor pulled out a pitcher of her Iced-Tea from the fridge. She made the best iced-tea he had tasted around these parts.
"I think you like my iced tea more than me." She commented with an innocent smile.
"Maybe," Sawyer replied back in his slow southern drawl. "So you tell me what exactly have you been up to Sunshine?"
"Well, thank God I'm finished with school now and I'm working at a hospital not to far from here. And you?"
"Same ol', same ol"
"What's that?"
Sawyer accepted the mug that Taylor handed to him and then he took a sip. "If I told you, then I might have to kill ya,"
Taylor raised an eyebrow back at Sawyer, "Hmm…then don't tell me."
"So why don't you tell me why you were so happy to see me?"
"I missed you that's all."
It felt good to be missed Sawyer had to admit that. "Also I got a little something for you, but I'll give that to you later,"
"When are you leaving?" Taylor asked quietly.
Sawyer smirked, "You ready to see me go already?"
"No, I just…" Taylor shook her head and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're welcome to stay as long as you want."
Sawyer would take her up on that offer if he could, but he had business he had to handle, and money he needed to make. Taylor was a nice girl, and he cared about her more than any other woman he knew, but she was too good for him.
"Cornbread or rolls?" She asked.
Sawyer snapped out of his thoughts, "As long as it has butter on it does it really matter Sunshine?"
Taylor laughed, "I guess not,"
"We have to get you something to eat," Jack replied in a caring tone.
Now that everything seemed a little calmer Kate could admit that she was exhausted. She gripped onto Jack's shirt as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I think Sawyer might stay,"
"What?" Kate asked.
"I can tell by the look on his face that he feels the same way as we do. He doesn't want to leave them behind."
Kate looked down in trouble. "But how will Sawyer's staying behind help them?"
Jack looked back at Kate in concern as she leaned away from him. "They need to feel safe. After everything that's happened I'm sure a male presence would ease some of their worries."
"But Sawyer can barely take care of himself." Kate reasoned as she searched Jack's eyes in fear.
"Kate…" Jack started.
"What if tries to…" Kate stopped when she realized that Jack still had no idea about Sawyer's near suicide attempt.
"He'll be fine. Sawyer will have Taylor to lean on if he does decide to stay, and she'll have him."
Kate looked away, "I just feel like I should be there,"
"Kate if he does decide t stay then you can't." Jack pointed out as he cupped Kate's face in his hands.
"I know," Kate murmured.
"I'm sure if Sawyer does stay then he'll come back to join us after he makes sure that Chloe and Taylor are okay. I think Sawyer is stronger than he plays off."
"Jack, I don't think so." Kate reached for Jack's hands. "I know he should stay, but. I care about him."
Jack looked down.
"I care about him, but I'm not in love with him. Sawyer is like family to me, and I don't think I could forgive myself if something happened to him."
Jack raised an eyebrow, "Forgive yourself?"
Kate closed her eyes and then breathed in the frigid air around her. "We should get going before the Marshal comes back." She took a step towards the house, but then she started to feel lightheaded.
"Woah," Jack quickly caught Kate in his arms.
Kate placed her hand to her forehead and then allowed Jack to steady her back on her feet.
"You also need a good sleep,"
Kate doubted that she would be able to get that, at least not for the next couple of nights. "Thanks Jack,"
"For what?" He asked softly as he looked up and down the highway.
"For holding me up," Kate whispered as she wrapped her arm tighter around his shoulders.
"That goes with the description,"
"Of what?" Kate asked as she tried to ignore the severe paranoia that was telling her the Marshal would be back any second.
"It goes with the description of being your fiancé." Jack replied with a smile.
For a second Kate's sadness was replaced with a brief feeling of joy, that was right, she was his fiancé. Over the last couple of days she had been so tormented that she hadn't been able to think about the happy moments that she and Jack had shared together recently. Like him proposing to her on top of the lighthouse. Kate's cheeks flushed with warmth as she grabbed on to him tighter. "If Sawyer does stay then just promise me you won't make me go alone."
"No, I'm going with you," Jack said as he helped Kate up the stairs and then opened the door so she could step inside first. "You can tell me to leave you alone as much as you want, but I'm going to be a pest. I'll go crazy with worry if I let you leave by yourself,"
"Jack and Kate," Chloe said as she came into the den with them.
Jack looked down at her sadly. "Yeah,"
"I wanted to give you something so I wouldn't have to worry as much." She opened her palms and then handed Jack a necklace with an angel hanging from it.
Jack gently took the necklace from her, "Thanks Chloe,"
"Whenever I'm sad she always cheers me up, and also makes me feel safe. I asked her to do the same for you."
"Chloe we can't take her," Jack said kindly.
"It's okay…because my angel knows that she has to protect my new family." Chloe reached for Jack's hand and then closed it over the angel necklace, "She won't let anything hurt you, just keep her safe for me."
Taylor handed Sawyer a grocery bag filled with snacks. "This is for the road, I figured I could help out a little more, and here…" She then handed him the 12 pack of cherry cokes, "Those are for the road too."
Sawyer looked into the bag. The first thing he noticed was a bag of porkrinds, he was tempted to ask her where was the beer, but he held his tongue. As usual during times of uncertainty he felt the need to go into joke mode, but he knew that now wasn't the right time. Sawyer cleared his throat as he tried to figure out how he was going to say goodbye to her. He wanted to hug her, but he was scared that if he got to close then she would see right through him, and realize how much it pained him to leave behind both her and Chloe. Ultimately he decided that he would just say goodbye, Sawyer opened his mouth but before the words could spill out an alarm/radio which was sitting on the counter turned on by itself. Sawyer raised an eyebrow in confusion and then stepped back when he realized that the song that was now playing was "Brown Eyed Girl"
Taylor turned towards him looking equally confused but she didn't say a word.
After dinner Sawyer had spent at least two hours mowing the lawn for Taylor. She had told him over and over that he was her guest so he should relax, but Sawyer wasn't feeling too lazy so he took the job. Ironically it took him longer to finish because he stopped frequently for alcohol breaks, after all he had a full bottle of Jack Daniels in the car calling out for him. By the time he was finished Sawyer was drunk, it had to be the heat, but he wasn't entirely sure why he had succumbed to the alcohol so quickly. As he stepped back inside Sawyer looked up at the sky, the blazing sun was now starting to disappear behind a mass of clouds and the sky was starting to turn gray. Sawyer smirked, it looked like it was going to rain.
"You took a really long time," Taylor said with a smile.
Sawyer looked at his chest and then at his arms which now boasted a nice tan. "It looks like it's going to rain,"
Taylor turned around to glance out the window. "Well look at that. We've been in a drought this whole month but as soon as you show up, it decides to rain."
Sawyer chuckled as he walked towards the back of the house. "I guess I'm good for something then."
"You're not leaving now are you?" Taylor called from the den.
Sawyer shook his head as he opened her room door. He needed a shower. At first he had planned on leaving that same day, but not only was he drunk enough to drive off a bridge without knowing it, but he also wanted to spend some more time with Taylor. He missed her so much. Sawyer glanced towards the bathroom, but something else caught his eye he spotted a stack of white envelopes that looked familiar. He picked up the first one and then opened it. He placed it back down when he realized that it was the cash that he had been sending Taylor the last couple of months. Why wasn't she using it? He had a lot of money from all of the cons that he had done recently and he wanted to help her out. Sawyer sighed as he looked around the room. But then again what did he expect? Taylor never cared much about money, and not to mention she had always been independent.
He felt a headache start to come on. Sawyer rubbed his temples as he leafed through Taylor's CD collection, as he suspected Van Morrison was on top. Since Sawyer was feeling somewhat in a playful mood probably due to the alcohol and the arid heat, he pulled out the CD and then located a stereo close by.
A couple of seconds later "Brown Eyed Girl" was turned up to the max. He didn't care anymore if he made an ass out of himself, he just wanted to be able to enjoy this last day with Taylor because he doubted that he would ever see her again.
"Sawyer? What on earth?" Taylor called from the den.
Sawyer grabbed his stolen cowboy hat on her bed and then walked out into the den. "You wanna little show?"
Taylor turned away, "Show? What kind of show…I'm almost scared to ask."
Sawyer grinned, "Just so you know, I'm a little tipsy right now." He held up his hand to show Taylor, "Just a little bit."
She laughed.
"So I'm leavin you tomorrow, but I got one little problem."
"And what's that?"
"I don't wanna go…because…" Sawyer started to tap his foot along with the beat and then started to bob his head.
"I think you're more than just tipsy!" She exclaimed.
"You embarrassed yet!" Sawyer yelled.
"Not yet…"
Sawyer tilted his head to the side and then smiled charmingly flashing his dimples. "Gimmie a microphone,"
"What?" Taylor asked confused.
"Oh shit, you gonna make me miss the chorus," He reached out for Taylor's hand and then pulled her close to him. "Let me use your hand."
"I can smell the alcohol on your breath so strong…"
"Hey where did we go, Days when the rains came. Down in the hollow, Playin' a new game," Sawyer sang off tune.
Taylor placed her hand to her face in order to hide her smile as Sawyer continued to sing. "If it's not the alcohol then it's the heat getting to you."
"Ya think." Sawyer said as he brought Taylor's hand to his mouth and then planted down a soft kiss. "Our hearts a thumpin' and you My brown eyed girl, You my brown eyed girl." Sawyer sung.
"I have blue eyes, you must be singing to another woman."
Sawyer shook his head, "I'm talkin' about you." As he started to sing again he brought his lips closer to Taylor's. "My brown eyed girl," He finished.
Taylor smiled back at him, "What would you do if anyone found out about this?"
"I'm too drunk to care right now," He then rested his head against Taylor's and then wrapped his arms around her waist. "Did you want a little dance to go along with the song?"
"Sawyer…" Taylor started.
Sawyer let go of Taylor and then started to stumble around the place drunkenly. He pulled off his cowboy hat and then tossed it in Taylor's direction. "How is that for sexy baby?"
Taylor placed her hands to her cheeks, "You should relax before you hurt yourself,"
As Sawyer continued to dance around the house crazily, rain started to pour from the heavens above.
Taylor gasped and then looked outside. Sure enough rain was pouring down steadily onto the thirsty Tennessee landscape. Sawyer stopped and then placed his arm against the wall in order to stop the world from spinning. He watched as Taylor ran outside with a squeal of excitement.
Sawyer smirked to himself. Maybe he would be embarrassed in the morning, but he wasn't right now. He walked towards the door slowly and then watched with a smile as Taylor pulled up the windows to his car. She joined him back at the door. "Here's your keys,"
Sawyer grabbed her arm and then gently caressed her skin with his thumb. "I have to leave tomorrow,"
"I know," Taylor said looking away sadly.
Sawyer pulled her inside and then closed the door as the rain started to beat heavier against the porch. "I didn't realize just how much I missed you until now."
Taylor pushed back Sawyer's bangs and then checked his forehead for any signs of a fever. "Now I think you're sick,"
"Why?" He asked taking her hand and placing it against his chest.
Taylor shivered, "Because you've never talked to me like that, or any woman for that matter."
Sawyer leaned forward to silence Taylor with a soft but yet passionate kiss. "And if I told you I loved you could I blame that on the fever too."
Taylor closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against his. "If you told me that you loved me, I don't think I would believe you."
"You should," Sawyer walked Taylor towards the couch and then trailed kisses across her forehead and then down her face. Her nose was small and beautiful and her cheeks were damp with the taste of rain that hadn't fallen in days. He felt his heart beat weakly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Sawyer found Taylor's lips again. He knew this wasn't right. How could he sleep with her, and then leave her the next day. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he felt his body start to react to feeling her so close to him. She was different from all of the other women he slept with. There was something so pure and innocent about her that he didn't want to tarnish.
"If I told you that I loved you then would you believe me?" Taylor asked.
"As far as I know you have never told a lie to me."
"Then now you know," Taylor traced her hand along Sawyer's strong jaw, "I've dated other guys since you left, but none of them have compared to you,"
Sawyer tried to lean away from Taylor's kisses, but he couldn't because whenever their lips touched he got this feeling as if he could change his life around, and maybe be something someday. The thought alone scared him, but as long as he stayed in this embrace with Taylor, it all seemed so possible.
They both fell to the floor. But Sawyer knew that he wasn't going to force Taylor to do anything that she didn't want to, if she was another girl then sure, but not her.
"Do you want to…" Sawyer had to bite his tongue because he didn't recognize the words coming out of his mouth.
"Yes," She said and then cupped Sawyer's face in her hands. As she kissed him his lungs filled with her oxygen leaving him feeling weak and craving more.
For the first time Sawyer felt as if he wasn't in control of the woman, but instead as if the woman was in control of him.
Sawyer turned off the radio. "I um…"
Kate and Jack stepped into the kitchen with Sawyer and Taylor.
Sawyer scratched his head as he contemplated his decision to stay. What was he thinking? How could he expect to help out Taylor and Chloe if he did decide to stay?
"Bye Kate and Jack," Taylor said giving them both warm hugs.
"We'll keep in touch," Jack promised.
"I'd appreciate that," Taylor responded back as she wrapped her arms around her body.
"Sawyer are you coming with us?" Jack asked.
Sawyer snapped back into reality. He clenched his jaw as he finally made a decision. "I'm going to stay,"
Taylor turned to Sawyer in shock, "What?"
Sawyer looked at Kate, "For now I'm going to stay. I can't leave at least not yet."
Kate looked down in understanding no matter how difficult it was to accept Sawyer's decision.
"If you'll let me stay," Sawyer added in Taylor's direction.
She nodded. "You're always welcome to stay here Sawyer, you know that."
Chloe came in behind Jack and Kate and then looked at Sawyer hopefully, "Are you staying with us?"
Sawyer tore his eyes away from Kate who looked really saddened by his decision. "Yeah, I'm going to stay,"
Chloe smiled back at him.
Sawyer didn't like feeling this way. Like people actually wanted him around, it was all very odd and new for him at the same time.
"We should get going then," Jack hugged Chloe. "Thanks for the…angel."
"You're welcome," Chloe said back.
Jack went to Sawyer next. "Take care," He held out his hand to give him a handshake.
Sawyer hesitated and then shook Jack's hand, he came closer as if he was going to hug Jack, but then he whispered, "Take care of Kate, even though I know you will I just thought I should say it."
Jack nodded in surprise. "I will, you just take care of yourself okay." He patted Sawyer on the back and then stepped back.
Sawyer looked down but didn't say anything else. He stepped aside Jack and then went over to Kate. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Kate agreed and stepped out into the den with him. "So um…what did you want to talk about?"
Sawyer looked down at his shoes, "It's not easy for me to do this,"
Kate bit her lip in order to keep it from quivering. "I'm worried that if we leave you here…" Kate shook her head and then turned her back towards Sawyer.
"I can't leave them here alone."
"I know, but who's going to look out for you."
"I can look out for myself."
"No." Kate turned back around to face Sawyer with tears in her eyes. "No you can't, I don't think you understand how much we care about you."
"Kate," Sawyer said feeling extremely awkward.
"Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself,"
"Don't worry about me."
"Sawyer," Kate pulled him into a hug.
Sawyer was hesitant to wrap his arms around her until she whispered "goodbye" in his ear. "What are you trying to do to me?"
Kate pulled back as soon as Jack stepped out.
"It's okay," Jack said giving Kate an understanding nod as he walked towards the car Cecile had lent them.
"I guess he's in a good mood," Sawyer added.
Kate wiped away a tear, "You gave him a hug,"
"I didn't hug that man."
Kate took in a deep breath as she pulled away , "I'm going to be calling you as much as possible."
"Why,"
"Because I'm going to miss you so much Sawyer." Kate said as she placed her hand on Sawyer's arm. Kate blinked away the tears at the thought of never seeing him again. Why did she have this horrible feeling that he would die before she saw him again. Kate placed her hand over her mouth as she felt the tears coming on again.
Sawyer stood there like a robot for a couple of seconds unable to decide what to do until he finally gave in. He pushed his tough image aside and hugged Kate back tightly. "I'll be fine,"
Kate buried her face in Sawyer's shirt. "What am I going to do without you?"
Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked down at Kate with difficulty, "You got Jack, you'll be fine."
Kate leaned away from him as she tried to force a smile onto her face. "I guess I should go, before the Marshal comes back looking for me."
"Bye Kate," Sawyer said stepping away from her with his eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes in concern.
Kate waved at him as she stepped off the porch slowly. Taylor and Chloe stepped behind Sawyer and watched as Kate walked towards the car with Jack. Kate felt as if she was leaving a piece of her heart in North Carolina but there was nothing she could do about that.
Jack leaned across the seat to open the door for Kate. She got in and then closed the door behind her.
"I know we'll see him again."
Kate nodded, "I hope so."
"Take a deep breath," Jack said as he beeped the horn before he pulled out of the driveway.
Kate took in a mouthful of air. "It'll be okay won't it?"
Jack reached for Kate's hand after switching the gear back into drive. "It will, because I'm going to take care of you."
Kate watched as Jack placed Chloe's necklace around the rearview mirror, and then turned back towards the window. She placed her hand against the window as she watched Sawyer, Taylor and Chloe grow smaller and smaller as the car traveled farther down the road.
Kate could feel disgusted with herself for crying so much later, but now she just wanted to cry. She leaned forward and placed her hand against her face as sobs spilled out of her mouth. Jack rubbed her back soothingly, but she couldn't be calmed down at least not now. Because Kate felt as if she had just lost Tom again, because Sawyer was part of her family, and she didn't have the safety of knowing that she would see his smile or hear his laugh ever again.