Searching for Peace
"One cannot subdue a man by holding back his hands. Lasting peace comes not from force." -David Borenstein
Chapter 12: Worry
Yami's very worried about me. That's exactly what he says as, stepping into the light pooling around the Kame Game Shop's back door, I let him back into my brain. His exact words. "Yugi, I'm very worried about you."
"I'm just having a bad day."
"You seemed unusually upset."
"I know. I said I was having a bad day."
"But..."
"But what?" I snap, annoyed. Yami seems to retreat the tiniest bit in my mind, like I threatened to hit him. A second later he's overflooding my senses again, trying to calm me down.
"You seem so... angry."
"Why do you want to make me bottle up my emotions? That's unhealthy for you," I complain, as I unlock the door and stroll into the house. It's pretty late. I kind of just twiddled my day away. At one point I walked all the way to Tea's house, turned around, and then walked all the way back to Joey's apartment. Pacing. At one point, I was debating going to Joey's apartment, opening the door, seeing Joey's dad.
I never thought of that before. Joey talks about his dad sometimes, sure, but I think it was only today, when I didn't really have anyone to hang out with and didn't feel like seeking anyone out, that I realized there was a living, breathing human being that stayed in Joey's apartment all day in hermitage. I don't know why I thought of seeing Joey's dad. I've never properly met him--just the bottle thrown at the door and the angry greeting demanding where Joey had been for the past 3 days.
"You're having weird thoughts today."
"Yeah..." I sniff. "I feel weird today."
"What did you eat?"
"Are moods dictated by what you eat?"
"Maybe you're sick."
I freeze, mulling this over. I gain a grin out of my chagrin.
"That's kind of amusing, Yami. I'm upset. That doesn't mean I have an upset stomach. Sure, I'm not quite sure while I'm having difficulty... focusing, today, but that doesn't mean that I'm getting mad cow disease."
"I'm just trying to make sure you're okay, partner. That's all that I'm doing."
"I wish you wouldn't," I sigh. I blink. He blinks, sort of.
"Why did you say that?"
"I'm not sure," I admit. It's good to know that Yami's worried about me. "It's been a long day."
"Has it?" Yami asked, surprised. I know he has no time sense, not when he's in the recesses of my mind, or when he's in the abyss of the Millennium Puzzle.
"Yeah," I tell him. "I probably just need some sleep."
"Does sleep always cure things?"
"Sometimes it helps," I explain wearily.
"You think it'll help you now?"
Too many questions. My brain is buzzing. Maybe I am ill. I feel kind of dizzy. I don't understand why this is happening. I planned everything out today. I should be stronger today than ever before.
I decide to answer. "I..."
I make the mistake of hesitating to gather my words. And right after I do, a thought occurs to me that makes me fill so ill I throw up all over my shoelaces.
"YUGI!" Yami's alarmed voice is booming thunder in the valley of my brain.
"Quieter... please..." I choke out. Already I can't remember what the thought I had was, but I knew I didn't want to have it again. And suddenly the thought of sleeping makes me want to puke again.
"Yugi?" comes a voice, kind but worried.
"Mom."
She flips on the light. "You're back kind of late. Did you have fun with Joey?" She smiles. Then her eyes widen as she realizes I have some pink stuff dribbling down my chin. Why can't my barf be a more manly color?
"For that you'd have to be more of a man," he teases, and suddenly I feel cross inside. I can't show it, though; my mom thinks I'm weird enough, what with the talking to myself. That's probably how she found me; she probably heard me talking to Yami. She thinks I'm kind of nuts, but as long as I have Grandpa to back me up (something about me being a lot like him when he was my age; he must've been really psycho) then she'll act like she doesn't care that I'm talking to the air. But secretly I know that she wants to cart me off to a psychiatrist, and so I guess I haven't been talking to her as much as I have lately.
"Yugi! What happened? Are you all right? Did you get beat up?" She's already by my side, feeling my forehead. I wipe off my chin with the back of my hand and breathe in and out deeply through my nose.
"I didn't get beat up," I insist. Then I lie: "I'm fine."
"No you're not. You just threw up all over the floor. And you were talking to yourself again; I heard you." I frown. I can hear Yami laughing teasingly. It tickles my ears in the way that makes me want to rub them until they sting less, or until they're as raw as flesh left out in the snow.
"I guess I'm a little sick," I mumble.
"You sure are. What did you eat today?"
Yami cheers mentally. I groan, wishing for once he'd shut up so my brain could function... function how? Normally? Eh? My head hurts so badly...
"I don't remember eating much. I think I had a hot dog."
"You think?"
"I might've just daydreamed it."
"Yugi, how deep do you have to daydream before you can't remember whether it was real or not?"
Her upper lip twitches in deep concern. Yami, also, is attentive. I lick my lips, suddenly realizing that they are chapped. "I'm having an off day," is all I can say.
I like this chapter. :) What did you think of it?