Chapter 22- The Death of James Ford

"Wake up honey, wake up."

James slowly opened his eyes. He had been in a deep sleep, and he was startled to wake to the chaos around him. His mom was standing right over him, and through the darkness he could see the tears spilling down her cheeks. James sat up with fear apparent in his innocent blue eyes. He was scared because he didn't have any idea what was going on. Someone was pounding at the front door, and it sounded as if they would get in any second.

"Open the damn door!" He yelled.

James' mom pulled back the covers back and quickly helped her son out of bed. "Sweetie, I'm going to need you to hide underneath the bed and not come out for any…"

"Open the damn door, before I knock it down!"

James reached for his mom's hands which were on his face. "Mommy, what's wrong?"

"Get under the bed James, he'll think you are still with you're grandparents." His mom said in a rush without answering his question.

"Mommy?"

"Either you let me in, or I'll knock down this door! I mean it, I'll knock it down."
James scared eyes shifted towards the door once more. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and his breathing pattern was labored and shaky.

"I love you," His mom said.

"I love you too mommy,"

She passed him a brief smile that was tainted with pain and fear. After she quickly ran her hands over James' blonde hair she ushered him underneath the bed. "Don't come out for any reason unless I tell you to do so. James, you stay under there."

James nodded his head up and down in trepidation. He rested his hands against the cold floor, and brought his legs closer to his body. He wanted to stop his mom from going out there, and tell her to hide underneath the bed with him, because that way she would be safer. The sharp sound of bangs on the door caused him to jump. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably.

The door opened from outside and then the agonizing sound of his moms screams filled his ears. James' eyes started to water as he heard objects crashing to the floor. In order to keep quiet he clamped his hands over his mouth.

"Stop!" His mother screamed anguish.

More objects crashed to the floor, glass shattered, and the sound of someone being thrown against the wall echoed throughout the small house. And then there was a gunshot, silence followed afterwards.

James squeezed his eyes shut. The sound of his mothers screams vanished, and for a second there was silence. The silence lasted for about three seconds, and then the sound of boots walking towards his room shook him to the core. A shadow appeared underneath the crack in the doorway, and then the door opened slowly. The hinges groaned in protest as the door knob hit the wall.

James scooted against the wall. His palms had grown clammy and he feared that his father would find him. Tears welled in his eyes as he watched him stop right before the bed. James tried to scoot back further but the wall blocked him.

His father sat down on the bed and for a while there was calmness.

James looked up towards the bed waiting for something to happen, and then he heard another gunshot. He placed his hands to his ears, and closed his eyes. The bed shifted, and his fathers arm fell forwards and the gun dropped. It fell onto the floor, with the barrel facing James.

James hoped that if he kept his eyes closed long enough then it would all go away. Everything that just happened would fade into some horrible nightmare that he could wake up from. But when he opened his eyes the gun was still facing him, and his fathers legs were twisted at an uncomfortable angle, with his feet bent below him. For about thirty minutes James stayed underneath the bed, and then he finally managed to venture out.

As he hoisted himself up from the floor he glanced towards his father. James drew back in horror, because he was so young, and couldn't understand why his father would do this. James swallowed down a lump in his throat as he continued to look at his dad. His father's dead eyes stared back at him with a cold glint. His arms were sprawled out on the bed, with one hand resting on his chest, and the other rested on James once clean sheets which were now bloody. James stepped back as he felt the tears threaten to fall down his cheeks. His dad had gotten him that comforter of a toy car which was now stained with blood.

As he slowly walked back towards the door his father continued to stare back at him. His eyes were black, dead, and lifeless. His dad was dead. James felt his knees start to buckle but somehow he managed to remain standing. His blue eyes narrowed in on the hole in his father's chest right where his heart was supposed to have been. James bumped into the door, and then he turned around and walked unsteadily into the hallway. The world spun around him as he looked at the pictures of his family which still hung on the walls. He tried to call out for his mom, but his mouth suddenly went dry.

Glass was shattered all over the floor. The place that he called home was in shambles. James bare feet nearly slipped on something warm, it was a kind of liquid. He stepped back as he looked down at the dots of crimson. His lips began to tremble as he crouched down to the ground. His small fingers trailed through the blood and then he looked down at his red coated fingertips.

"He…some…help…"

James was startled by the tortured pleas for help coming from the den. His mom was hurt. He stood up and walked into the den. Pictures were strewn across the place. Pictures of happier times, when his family was actually happy. They were all smiling in the pictures, his mom, dad, and him…they were all smiling.

"Jam…baby,"

James eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes when he saw his mom. He collapsed to the floor beside her. Blood was everywhere, she was bleeding profusely through her blouse, and her hand was clamped against the bullet wound, but the blood continued to pour.

"Mom," James said shakily unsure of what to do.

His mom looked back at him sadly as she struggled to reach out for his hand with her free one.

"I'm going to get help," He said backing away from her. James knew he had to run to the phone or it would be too late, he had to hurry. As he forced himself up his mom croaked out his name with strained force.

"I wish you didn't see this…" She coughed violently.

James grinded his teeth together as he tried to force himself to move. He was supposed to be calling for help. "I'm calling the police."

"Jam…James,"

James eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes as his mom reached out her hand towards him. Since she wasn't strong enough her arm fell to the floor. Tears streamed down James face as he dropped down onto his knees.

"Don't leave me."

"Mommy, I'm getting help," James choked out trying to keep his composure for his mom's sake.

She grabbed onto his hand tightly. "Just stay."

"Mommy…"

"I love y…" She winced in pain and then cried out.

"Mommy," James whispered as he squeezed his mom's hand tighter. He placed his other hand over his mom's, and blinked away the tears as her blood leaked onto his hands. "It'll be okay,"

"James…I love you,"

"I love you too," James said weakly. His bottom lip trembled as he watched his mom's eyes roll back in her head. His small body heaved as he struggled to contain the sobs. "Mommy," James got behind her and lifted her head in his arms. "Don't leave me,"

"I love y…" Her eyes rolled back in her head once more, but James squeezed her hands once again. Tears streamed down her cheek. "You shouldn't have…James…" She coughed so violently that her legs started to shake.

James held her tighter. He wasn't going to let his mom die. She wasn't going to die. She wasn't. Tears streamed down his cheek. His mom placed her shaking hand against James cheek, as she tried to wipe away his tears.

"You shouldn't have seen this." Her eyelids fluttered close. "I don't have…the energy…I love you James…don't…you…ever…forget."

James buried his face in his mom's hair as he felt her body grow limp in his arms. Unable to move he stayed with his mom for at least two hours. Just holding her and silently praying that she would wake up, but when she didn't, he started to feel alone. James slowly stood up, his hands dropped down to his side and he walked back towards his room like a zombie.

His movements were stiff, like a robot, he walked with one foot in front of the other. He couldn't cry anymore, because he had cried nonstop for the last couple of hours. As he stepped back into his room he looked at his father and then at the gun. He was alone, his parents were dead, and they had both died in front of him. James dropped back down onto the floor and crawled underneath the bed. He wished that if he closed his eyes, then it would all go away again. He scooted back against the wall, and held his arms to his chest. James closed his eyes and tried to convince himself that he had been dreaming. He imagined that when he woke up, his mom would be in the kitchen making breakfast, and his father would take him to play soccer at the park. Although, life hadn't been that way in a while, he needed something to believe in more than anything now.

But when he closed his eyes all he saw was his dad on his bed with his eyes looking back at him. James placed his hands over his eyes as he attempted once more to sleep. The gunshots rang once again in his ears, and he mentally pictured his dad shooting his mom. As he brought his hands away from his face James looked at them, his hands were covered with blood.

Sawyer let go of Taylor so quickly that he minus as well have pushed her away. He clenched his jaw as he stepped away from her unsteadily. There weren't many times when he could recall flashing back to his childhood when he was fully awake, usually he only saw that night in his nightmares. Sawyer turned away as he tried to gather his thoughts. Even though more than two decades had passed since his parents death reliving that night hadn't gotten any easier. He felt his tough exterior starting to crumble as he saw himself as a young boy hiding underneath the bed. He had to leave now. Sawyer stalked towards the door, and gripped the doorknob determined to leave, but before he could run, Taylor grabbed onto his arm. He wanted to yank his arm out of her grasp, and scold her for trying to make him stay. She wasn't a beggar, she had never been, and she didn't understand the kind of baggage he carried. Sawyer was doing her favor; he was leaving because she would be safer with him gone. Sawyer looked down at his hand on the doorknob. This wasn't an easy decision but he had to go.

"You knew I wasn't stayin," Sawyer replied in a low rasp. He had to bite the inside of his cheek in order to keep his emotions in check. He silently hoped that if he remained distant enough then it would be easier for Taylor to let him go.

"I never expected you to."

"So then why are you holding onto my arm?" Sawyer said gruffly. He tilted his head up to the ceiling as he silently scolded himself for having to be this way to her. "I stayed as long as I could, but I gotta go now, I got to leave."

Taylor sniffled. "I know you have to leave, James."

Sawyer blinked. His hand dropped away from the doorknob and he slowly turned to look at Taylor. He didn't know how to respond so he just looked back at her. His blue eyes were colder than usual, he needed to keep his distance, but that wasn't an easy feat with her. She broke down his walls, and next to Kate, Taylor was the only other person that understood him. But why would she call him James. Why now? Why, when he needed to leave, and especially after flashing back to the night of his parents death. The night that had changed him into the person he was today.

Taylor's eyes were brimming with tears and her lips were trembling.

Sawyer wanted to hold her but he couldn't. He squeezed his eyes shut as he ignored the urge to hold her in his arms again. Wipe away her tears, and cave in, stay with her and Chloe, because together they kept him human, and made him feel like he was worth their time.

"I'm not trying to make you stay. James…"

"You can call me Sawyer,"

Taylor looked down and stepped away from him.

He felt his eyes start to water, so he was thankful that Taylor turned away from him when she did. Gingerly he wiped away the tears. James cried, but Sawyer didn't. He was Sawyer now, James had died a long time ago, he had died along with his mom. And it was Sawyer that needed revenge. Sawyer clenched his fists as he tried to force himself to leave. He backed up towards the door. There was nothing he could do for Taylor except make her life worse, she would thank him for leaving.

"I love you,"

Sawyer clenched his jaw. He tried to tune out her words. She said she loved him, and he knew that, but he just didn't need to hear it. "I need to leave,"

"You can leave," Taylor said as she sunk down onto the couch. Her eyes focused on the spot where Timmy had died. There was a rug right over the spot because there was blood engrained in the wood that she couldn't clean. She had scrubbed and scrubbed for days determined to get out the blood, but her attempts had been in vain, because the blood remained. Taylor shivered as she realized that after Sawyer left, she would be all alone to deal with this mess on her own. But he had been kind enough to stay even though she hadn't asked him too. So she couldn't blame him for leaving.

"It's for the best," Sawyer said. He could've left a minute ago but for some reason he was still there. He reached for the doorknob once again but his hands dropped down to his sides. He took in a deep breath as he looked at Taylor. Before he came along she had been so happy, so easy going, and now here she was a disaster because of him. He had messed up her life. Sawyer scowled as a feeling of disgust washed over him. He released his clenched fists, because he was cutting off his circulation.

He loved her too. Sawyer's eyebrows dropped low over his eyes. He loved her too, and it wasn't just a passing feeling because he was leaving, but it was love. Sawyer stuffed his shaking hands in his jeans pockets. His heart was beating weakly, and he knew he was about to cave. "It's not fair ya know," He mumbled as he bent his head down low.

"Life isn't fair Sawyer, but what can you do." Taylor turned to look at him for a couple of seconds, and then she looked away. "I just thought I should tell you how I feel before you left."

Sawyer nodded in disdain. "I wish you didn't."

The words had slipped. He was thankful that Taylor wasn't watching him. Anger washed over him now because he still couldn't force himself to leave.

"Why did you call me James?" Sawyer whispered as he narrowed his eyes at her waiting for a response.

"Because that's your name," Taylor said quietly. She forced herself up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "I know the truth, and I've always known…"

"You don't know…"

"I do,"

"You don't!" Sawyer yelled.

Taylor's mouth dropped open as she looked back at him. Sawyer's emotions were so raw right now; she had never seen him so worked up. His face was red, and his eyes were wide. "Then I don't know,"

"No, you don't." Sawyer's mouth twisted into a look of pain and he had to look away as tears started to stream down his face. "I've got to leave, because I can't do this. I can't get into this now…I've got to…"

"You were just a child…"

"I'm not a child no more."

Taylor glanced towards Chloe's bedroom as she cautiously stepped closer to Sawyer. She couldn't ask him to stay, and she wouldn't, but she could be there for him. Taylor reached out to place her hand on Sawyer's back but he pulled away like a child.

"I don't need your damn sympathy!"

"I'm not giving you my sympathy." Taylor cried. "You're leaving okay, and I'm probably never going to see you again, so forgive me for caring Sawyer."

Sawyer stalked away from Taylor. He sat down on the ledge of the couch and stared at the floor with a hardened expression. Why did this have to happen now? He breathed in and out, but his breaths were ragged and sounded more along the lines of hyperventilation than normal breathing. Sawyer closed his eyes as he tried to ignore the fact that he had allowed himself to be exposed. He had to keep his act together until he left by focusing on his revenge. Not the sight of him as a child holding his mom. Sawyer placed his hands to his forehead as the pressure began to become too much.

Taylor sat down on the floor in front of him. "I know you want me to just leave you alone, but I can't."

"Go away,"

"Sawyer," Taylor said reaching for his hands. She wanted to call him James, but she knew that would only make him more upset. He seemed to recover slightly from hearing her call him Sawyer. Taylor wiped away her steady tears as she reached for Sawyer's hands. "You have to be the most difficult man I know, but you know what you don't scare me. You can push me away all you want too, but until you walk out that door, I'm not going to ignore you."

"Just stop…"

Taylor closed her mouth as she heard the tone of Sawyer's voice. He sounded completely different from himself. She swallowed down a lump in her throat as he looked back at her. The expression on his face was so tortured that it broke her soul. He didn't need to say anything to make her cry. Just that look alone was enough, no longer did she see "Sawyer" but for a brief second she saw James a child who had watched both of his parents die. She had to look down because she could no longer take it.

"You want to know why I don't want to be called James." Sawyer spat in a withdrawn speech like tone. He groaned as he wiped away the tears that had fallen down his face. Sawyer clenched his jaw. "You don't know anything about me, no one does, and I like it better that way. I don't like to let people in…and I don't wanna let you in."

Taylor nodded slowly.

"I haven't thought about that night in a while. I was almost lucky enough to have forgotten, what a lucky son of a bitch I would've been if I have…but I'm not meant to forget, I've got to remember so I can get him." Sawyer clenched his fists once again. "I've gotta remember so I can kill him."

His tone had changed again. Taylor slowly stood up from the floor and sat down on the couch next to him. "You've dedicated your whole life to finding this man so you could kill him."

"And when I do find him, Sawyer, I'm gonna give him a message that he'll never forget." Sawyer cracked his knuckles as he looked away distantly. His rage for "Sawyer" was returning, it was always easier this way to push aside James, and focus on "Sawyer" the man that had ruined his life. "Once I kill that motherfucker I can move on with my life…"

Taylor reached for Sawyer's hands.

He looked down at his hand in hers. Sawyer tried to pull away but Taylor placed her other hand on top of his.

"So you want to kill him,"

"Yeah I want to kill him." Sawyer growled.

"Will that make you feel any better Sawyer? Will killing him bring back your parents, or make you complete." Taylor looked down at her hands on top of Sawyer's. "You were just a child. None of what happened was your fault."

Sawyer's thoughts shifted to Chloe. "Well it sure doesn't matter now does it?"

Taylor shook her head, "It does matter, because it's affected you your whole life." She carefully brought her hands towards Sawyer's face, and hesitated before she pulled a strand of his blonde hair away from his ear.

He grabbed her hand.

Taylor gasped, and then Sawyer turned to look at her.

His eyes softened and he let go of her hand.

"Sawyer, I know you have to leave, and that's why I told you that I love you. There are lots of things that I want to tell you but I can't because now isn't the right time, and I don't ever think there will be a right time." Taylor paused to take in a deep breath. "Life has been a rollercoaster since you, Jack, and Kate came to live with us…"

"It would've been better if we never ran into you."

"No, I wouldn't have changed that…I was so happy that day when I saw you. I had thought I would never see you again and I had prepared myself for that." Taylor wiped at her tears. "I had to pinch myself that day, because I couldn't believe that it was you Sawyer. I couldn't believe it, and I still can't believe…"

"How do you deal with it?"

"What?" Taylor asked surprised.

Sawyer clenched his jaw. He turned away in disdain and searched for a way to rephrase his question. "A man killed himself right in your house, but somehow you continue on."

"I pray that it'll go away, but something like that never goes away Sawyer. So all I can do is hope, and just have faith that one day it'll be okay again."

Sawyer allowed his body to relax against the chair a little. "I don't know how faith is gonna give me my revenge."

"Well I believe in heaven." Taylor said quietly.

Sawyer remained silent.

"And I believe in God,"

Sawyer looked towards the door.

"If it wasn't for my faith then I don't think I could go on, because if I don't have anything better to believe in besides death and pain then I'll become a slave to my fears, and I can't…"

"The only thing I have to believe in is my revenge because it's all I've got left." Sawyer muttered. He noticed that Taylor removed her hand from his. "I should leave, it's the third time I said it but I have to go."

"It is the third time," Taylor passed Sawyer a weak smile.

He stared at her a while longer hoping that she would read his mind without him having to voice his feelings but she just looked back at him with that forced smile. That fragile smile that gave away the fact that she was on the verge of tears once again. "Thank you,"

Taylor was surprised. Her mouth dropped open but she quickly recovered. "You're welcome Sawyer,"

"I probably won't ever see you again."
Taylor bit her lip. "I know," She stood up and walked over to him as he stood up. "Can I hug you?"

Sawyer nodded slowly. He closed his eyes as Taylor wrapped her arms around him. Sawyer rested his chin against her head and breathed in the scent of her shampoo as he relaxed his body against hers. "I was never good with goodbyes, that's why I usually never say them…but you deserve one." Sawyer exhaled as he placed his hands on Taylor's arms. If his life wasn't so messed up, then he could see himself staying with her and Chloe, and attempting to rebuild his life but Sawyer knew that wasn't possible. "No one calls me James,"

Taylor nodded.

"No one but the dead." Sawyer swallowed down a lump in his throat, "But…you can call me James."

Taylor's eyebrows lowered over her eyes as she passed Sawyer a smile laced with sadness and relief. "I can call you James, thank you."

Sawyer sighed as he bit his lip. "No matter how much I try to keep myself focused on revenge, you mess me up…Taylor, you mess me up. Since I'm leaving, and never coming back 'round this way, I just thought I should let you know that."

"James," Taylor whispered.

Sawyer closed his eyes. It was hard hearing her call him James under these circumstances. He inched towards the door and then successfully managed to open it. It was a little windy outside, and the fog hovered low over the ground. "What?"

"There are some things about each other that we'll never know, but what I said earlier I meant. I thank you for staying here longer, you didn't have to do it, but you did and I appreciate it." Taylor placed her hand on Sawyer's heart.

Sawyer stepped back, but Taylor kept her hand there.

"See, your heart does beat just like everyone else's." She shook her head as she wiped a tear from underneath her eyes. "You should go before I try to keep you longer."

"I…" Sawyer exhaled.

"You what?" Taylor asked hopefully.

Before he could tell her that he loved her as well Sawyer turned around and walked outside. He struggled to keep walking straight ahead, before he convinced himself that staying was the right thing to do. Sawyer opened the door and got inside the truck. Leave. Just back out of the driveway without looking at her. He fumbled around with the keys, as he tried to ignore the voice in his head that was telling him to stay.

"Damn it," He growled as the keys fell to the floor. Sawyer snatched them up aggressively and forced them into the keyhole. He turned them, and then engine started with a roar. Sawyer shifted the gear into reverse and backed out. Once out of the dirt driveway he turned towards the house, Taylor waved at him and then closed the door behind her.

Kate looked around the dark room in frustration. She couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard she tried. And at the moment she envied Jack's snores beside her. At first she had thought it was cute, the soft snoring, and the occasional murmurs, but now she was irritated. He talked in his sleep, but she wasn't sure what about. It was hot in the hotel room; even though she had turned off the heat a while ago it was still unbearable. Kate pulled the covers off of her and swung her legs over the bed.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked with a yawn as he reached for her wrist.

"I can't go to sleep, I don't know why, but I just can't." Kate sighed to herself as she walked over to the chair by the window. The thing that bothered her the most was that she wanted to go to sleep, because she wanted to stay up with Jack on the way to Kentucky. Kate sat down and then rested her arm on the table. She stared ahead deep in thought.

The light turned on.

Kate squinted over at Jack as she watched him check his watch. "It's early, I know,"

"Have you gotten any sleep at all?"

"No, I can't sleep."

"Did you forget to tell me that you have insomnia?" Jack teased as he laid down on his pillow. He pulled the sheets off of him and they fell to the floor. Jack looked over the bed debating whether he should pick them up now or later, and ultimately he decided on later. "You okay Kate?"

"I was." Kate shrugged.

"You were?" Jack sat up. He placed his hands on the bed as he braced himself to stand.

"You don't have to get up," Kate replied quickly. "I'm fine Jack,"

"Well what are you thinking about?" Jack's hands eased around the mattress edge as he continued sitting.

"I just sat down now, and then I started to think about Sawyer, Chloe and Taylor. Jack we haven't even called them." Kate said sadly. "We could've at least called."

"We'll call them."

"We had the opportunity to call them a while ago, but a part of me didn't want too."

Jack looked back at Kate.

"I mean we're not there to see what's going on. What if something bad happened to them? I was so focused on getting myself together that I tried to block out everything horrible that happened in North Carolina. Maybe I'm selfish, but I just needed time."

"I know,"

"But I love them though. Taylor, Chloe, and Sawyer. I do care about them Jack."

"Kate, I know."

"I just needed time." Kate repeated as she rested back in the chair. She exhaled and looked at Jack who was passing her a warm smile. "But I feel stronger now, and I think I'm ready to call them."

"Right now might be a little too late,"

"Tomorrow then?"

"We can call them tomorrow."

Kate smiled as she rested her cheek against her hand. "I can't thank Taylor enough for taking us in, and Chloe, she's the most beautiful child I've ever seen. They're such a warm family, so giving, and kind. They took us in like we were part of the family."

"And I felt like part of the family,"

"Me too," Tears of joy welled in Kate's eyes at the thought of making cookies with Chloe on Sunday morning. She didn't like to bake, but Chloe had always begged her to, and she couldn't resist the child. "I wonder how Sawyer is doing."

"Probably the same, insulting people left and right, and walking around like he's the smartest guy on the face of the earth."

"You know he's not that bad."

"He's not,"

Kate looked back at Jack with a wide smile. "Can you repeat that for me?"

Jack rolled his eyes as Kate jumped up and threw her arms around his neck. He fell back onto the bed as Kate kept him trapped in a bear hug. "I just said he's not that bad."

Kate kissed him on the cheek. "So when Sawyer comes back that means you guys have to kiss and makeup!"

"Let's not go that far, but I don't have any negative feelings towards him Kate." Jack looked at Kate. He tucked her thick locks behind her ears as he looked into her beautiful eyes. "We talked about this in North Carolina, you know even though I don't always like Sawyer, or approve of the things he does…I know that you like him, and approve of him, so he's alright with me."

"He's misunderstood,"

"I think he wants it to be that way." Jack replied as he gave Kate a nod.

Taylor stepped into Chloe's room. She flipped on the light switch when she noticed that Chloe was standing by the window. Her back was turned and she was looking out at the driveway.

Taylor bit her lip as she tried to control her tears. She couldn't cry now because she had to keep it together for her daughter. "Chloe,"

Chloe allowed her hand to drop from the curtain. She turned around slowly and then sat down along the windowsill. Her eyes were trained down on the floor and her hands were folded in her lap. She closed her eyes and a single tear fell down her cheek. "Sawyer left,"

"You don't have to be scared," Taylor said as she rushed over to Chloe. She dropped down on her knees and held her daughter's hands. "We're going to be okay, I promise you honey. Nothing is going to happen."

Chloe's bottom lip trembled and then a rush of tears fell down her face. "Mommy, what are we going to do? What if someone else comes, how are we going to stay safe. I don't want anyone to hurt us."

"No one is going to hurt us,"

Chloe wrapped her arms around Taylor's neck and rested her face against her mom's shoulder. "Why did Sawyer leave us?"

"He couldn't stay, but he said that he will be back." Taylor winced at the lie that she had just told.

"He's not coming back, he won't ever."

A car was heard entering the driveway. Taylor looked up in surprise. She wiped the tears away from her eyes as she pulled back the curtains. Chloe released her arms from around Taylor's neck. Taylor raised an eyebrow as she looked out into the driveway. There was a car parked outside, but it wasn't the truck Sawyer left in.

Chloe pulled back the curtains wider. Taylor reached for Chloe's hand and pulled it away. "Wait a second sweetheart. I don't know who that is."

Chloe gripped onto Taylor's shirt tighter. "Who is it?"

"I don't know?"

The headlights were flipped on.

Taylor winced. She shielded her eyes from the bright lights as she tried to figure out if she recognized the car in her driveway.

"Mommy," Chloe said with wide eyes.

"Its okay, someone probably just ended up in the wrong place and they'll turn around." Taylor reassured.

The door opened and two guys stepped out, two abnormally tall guys. They both had to be at least 6'5, and the scariest thing about them both was that Taylor couldn't see their faces. Tears welled in her eyes as her body was overtaken with fear. She held Chloe tighter to her as she started to cry. Who were these men and why were they at her house? Taylor dashed towards the light and quickly flipped it off. She joined Chloe back on the floor and held her in her arms.

"I'm scared…who are they…what do they want." Chloe's words were mixed together and she could barley breathe. "We have to call the police…we have to call them."

The phone was outside. Taylor glanced towards the hall, and bit her lip nervously. Although, she still didn't know what the guys wanted she was going to call the police. Due to the events that had occurred in the last couple of weeks she had developed paranoia. Taylor kissed Chloe on top of the forehead. "I'm going to be right back okay,"

"No, just wait until they leave." Chloe begged.

"But I need to get the phone just in case…"

"I'll get it," Chloe offered shakily.

"No, no, you stay here, and I promise I'll be right back."

"No," Chloe cried. She squeezed her eyes shut as she wrapped her arms around Taylor once again. "Don't go, don't leave me…please."

"Sweetie, I'll be right back. Just one second okay," Taylor cupped Chloe's chin in her hand, "Just one second, that's all it'll take, and I'll be right back. I promise."

Chloe refused to loosen her grip around Taylor, so her mom reached for Chloe's hands and held them.

There was a knock at the door.

. "Don't answer it…don't do it." Chloe pleaded.

"I'm not going to answer the door." Taylor glanced over her shoulder when she heard another knock. "I'll be right back, but until I get back…" She pushed back the comforter which was hanging over the edge of the bed. "Hide under there until I get back…"

"Mom…"

"Chloe, please do it for me." Taylor kissed Chloe once more. She was probably overreacting but she didn't want to take any chances. "Now sweetie,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too," Taylor replied as she smoothed down Chloe's golden curls. "Now, go ahead and don't come out until I come back."

"Okay," Chloe murmured. She got underneath the bed and watched as Taylor pulled back down the comforter with glistening eyes. "I…love…you." She mouthed once more.

Taylor forced herself up and walked towards the door. She closed the door behind her and then walked quickly towards the phone all the while looking towards the front. Her heart was in her throat, and she was walking as quickly as possible.

The banging on the door intensified.

"Please God, Please…" Taylor whispered as she reached for the phone with shaking hands.

The knocking stopped and then the sound of shattering glass pierced through the night air, followed by Chloe's screams.

Sawyer pulled into the lot of a deserted gas station. He was still going to leave, and he wasn't going back. But he just needed time to think and make sure he was making the right decision. Damn his conscious. Or maybe it was more than just his conscious; there was no denying that he truly did care about Taylor and Chloe. He could even say that he loved them in the privacy of his own fucked up thoughts. Sawyer killed the engine as he looked around at the deadness of the gas station. The little mart was abandoned and the glass from the windows was shattered. Someone used to work there, but not anymore. The station was abandoned, empty, and dead. Sawyer looked down at his hands as he rested his head against the headrest. He wasn't sure if leaving would make Taylor and Chloe any safer, he had stayed with them long enough to put them in a great deal of danger regardless. And even though the guys after him hadn't been around in a while that didn't mean that they weren't waiting for the perfect time to strike.

"Shit," Sawyer grumbled. It wasn't like him to find reasons to stay in one place. Usually he was able to remove himself from people with ease. He was never one to grow attachments, but lately he had been slipping. And he was afraid that would be his downfall. He needed to leave, continue on his own, but yet here he was in the parking lot of a deserted gas station stalling.

He was in love with Taylor it was as simple as that. Well, it wasn't simple but that's what it was. James loved Taylor. Because of the way she made him feel, the way she cared, and gave him unconditional love even though it wasn't always what he wanted. Taylor made him take a second look at what he was doing, he was still hell bent on getting revenge, but yet at some extremely off times he wanted to focus on Taylor and stay with her. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked ahead.

She was the only thing that he had to hold onto. He had a choice, he could keep his revenge and let it consume him until there was nothing left, or else he could go back. Sawyer placed his balled fist to mouth as it started to tremble. He loved Taylor. She had broken him down to the point where he was actually considering staying with her. What could he do for her if he stayed? Probably not a damn thing, but at the moment he didn't care. Even if he just dropped by to explain to Taylor why he had to leave, that would be better than just leaving without any closure. For the first time in his life he needed some kind of closure.

Sawyer started the engine back up. He sighed to himself as he backed out of the parking lot.

"Chloe!" Taylor screamed. The phone dropped from her hand as she ran towards the room. She threw open the door and watched in fear as one of them men that was outside climbed into the house. Taylor frantically searched around for a weapon, but it was too late, he was inside. Before Taylor could find anything the masked man grabbed her by her arm.

"Not so fast,"

Taylor's eyes widened in fear as she looked into the man's cold blue eyes. She couldn't see his face because it was hidden behind a mask. She struggled to free herself from his grasp, but he was too tall and strong.

"Don't fight me. It'll be easier that way." He barked.

Taylor cried as his beefy hands tightened around her wrist, he pulled her further away from the bed. "Wh…what…what do you want!"

"We don't want you." The man growled as he signaled for his partner to come in as well. "We want Sawyer,"

Taylor watched in horror as the other man stepped inside. He had a gun in his hand, which he tossed to the man holding Taylor. "He's not here,"

"Where is he?" The man asked aggressively as he tightened his grip on Taylor's arm. "You know don't ya, where is he?"

"I don't know,"

"Yes you do." The man jerked Taylor roughly.

She cried out in pain. Taylor silenced her fears as best she could by biting down on her lip. She was afraid that Chloe would come from underneath the bed. She closed her eyes as she tried to find the strength to keep it together. "I don't know where he is."

"Unbelievable…how loyal you stay to the bastard. He leaves you alone once and some psycho nearly blows off your head and your daughters…"

Taylor's eyes widened as she tried to control her nervous shaking. She winced in pain as the man's grip around her arm tightened. How did they know all of this?

"If only he left then we wouldn't be here now would we? If only he followed Jack and Kate to Kentucky…"

Taylor gasped.

The man pulled off his mask. "My father died because of that bitch Sawyer. Thanks to a con your main man pulled on my family…a bunch of us died."

Taylor looked away in horror.

"Him and Hibbs. Since then we've been following him. Hibbs dropped off the face of the earth, we can't find him, but we will, but as for Sawyer it's always been easy to track him down. We've watched him for about a year now and he's been none the wiser. We could've killed him a long time ago and we should have…but then we figured we shouldn't put him out of his misery just yet. He wants to die. By killing him we would be doing him a favor, so we decided against it. We decided to wait, and instead take out the ones closest to him first." The man looked down at the bed.

Taylor looked down as well, but then quickly looked back at him with an unfaltering expression. She prayed that he couldn't tell that Chloe was underneath the bed.

"And unfortunately for you, we've decided to kill you."

Taylor's mouth dropped. She turned her head away from the man in front of her, and started to cry as quietly as possible. She felt the other guy press the gun into her back. "Please, don't do this…"

"Blood for blood. He has to pay somehow, and believe me you're just the beginning…Giancarlo get the little girl."

"Wait…stop!" Taylor screamed as she watched "Giancarlo" dive underneath the bed. She fought back as the man grabbed a screaming Chloe. "Get your hands off of her!"

"Mommy!"

"Get off of her!" Taylor screamed. She fought back, by punching at the man behind her, and stepping on his feet while trying to wring her arms free, but he was way to strong. And the more she fought the more pain he caused. Taylor pleaded for them to let Chloe go, but the two men ignored her cries. She was roughly pushed out the door. Taylor's arms flung around wildly as she tried to get to Chloe. Her daughter's screams had stopped. "Don't touch her! Chloe! Chloe!" Taylor screamed at the top of her lungs. Salty tears were cascading down her cheeks nonstop, and she was still fighting, fighting with all of her might.

The man let her go. He pushed her forward and she fell down to the ground.

Taylor jumped up seeing the sudden release as her opportunity to help Chloe. She was scared, but she refused to let it consume her, because she had to get to her daughter. The world moved in slow motion as Taylor brought one foot in front of the other, she just had to get to the door. The man stepped aside. She didn't have time to think. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe.

A gunshot echoed throughout the still air.

Taylor screamed in agony as she fell forwards. She hit the ground with a hard thud. The intense pain coursing through her body caused her to writhe in distress. Taylor gagged as she tried to ignore the pain. She struggled to fill her lungs with air before she succumbed to the pain. With each movement she made she felt the bullet sink in deeper.

She gave one last scream before she collapsed against the floor. She couldn't stop, she couldn't. Taylor dug her nails into the floor as she tried to push herself forward. The pain was all she could think about, but she had to get to Chloe…she had too.

The man walked slowly in front of Taylor. His boots creaked against the floor with every step, and then he stopped. "Give him a message if you see him before we do…" The man bent down and then looked into Taylor's eyes. "Tell him…"

Taylor coughed violently. She groaned as her insides start to ache and the bitter taste of blood filled her mouth. Helpless cries came from her mouth, and tears of regret filled her eyes. "Ch…Chloe!" She cried.

Chloe didn't respond.

"Wh…where…is she…" Taylor fell onto the ground banging her fists because that's all she could do. She no longer had the strength to crawl. She was too weak.

"Tell him, that this is only the beginning." The man stood back up and then turned around. "It's unfortunate really." He aimed the gun back at Taylor. "Ashes to Ashes…Dust to Dust…"

Ten minutes later Sawyer pulled the truck back into Taylor's driveway. He thought about turning around, but it made no sense if he was only going to stay for no longer than an hour at the most. Sawyer closed his eyes as he turned off the ignition. He hoped that she was still up. For some reason he expected that he would still find her in the den crying. Sawyer opened the door, a cool breeze greeted him. He wasn't sure whether to be excited or not when he noticed that the lights were still on. Taylor was still awake. He walked unsteadily towards the front door.

Something wasn't right. An eerie feeling washed over him. Sawyer stopped in his tracks and looked around. He turned to glance behind him and then looked towards the woods. The quietness irked him. The sound of crickets chirping nearby suddenly broke the stillness. Sawyer started to walk again towards the door. His eyes rested on Chloe's room. His mouth dropped open in horror when he saw the large hole in the glass. Someone had broken in.

Sawyer ran towards the house. The door was open so he threw it open. "Tay…" He nearly fell backwards until he braced himself by grabbing onto the doorframe. No words could express the sight in front of him, his eyes opened wide and he started to shake. Sawyer's grip tightened on the doorframe so he could keep himself from loosing his balance. He tried to breathe in and out, but his attempts weren't working. Sawyer's stomach was churning and he felt as if he was going to be sick.

After a minute Sawyer's hands dropped down to his sides, but he still remained where he stood. His eyes were filling with tears but he wouldn't allow them to shed. He wasn't going to cry. He couldn't. Sawyer clenched his jaw as anger surged through his body. His fists tightened dangerously, and his veins popped with determination. Someone shot her. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. Whoever did this to her he was going to kill! He was going to find a gun and shoot them, shoot them just the way they had shot her. Sawyer turned around unable to see more. He closed his eyes. He had to get a gun, he needed to find the bitch that shot Taylor, he needed to find them…he had too.

Sawyer made it halfway to the car before he collapsed to the ground. He breathed in an out once again. He balled up his fists gathering dust and rocks. Tears fell down his face like rain as he tried to control himself. He had to kill them he had too. But he could only cry harder. Sawyer threw back his head and he let out an angry yell. With his fists he hit the ground with aggression, his fists started to bleed, but all he could see was Taylor.

"Taylor," Sawyer whispered. He bit his lip as he tried to control the shaking. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he envisioned himself getting in the truck to go and find a gun. He couldn't breathe because he had been withholding oxygen from his lungs. "Fuck!" Sawyer yelled.

He threw up, and struggled to breathe once more. With shaking arms he pushed himself up. He was angry. Angry as hell. And someone needed to pay. Someone needed to pay. He stalked towards the truck and opened the door, but then he stopped. Taylor was shot. The realization hit him over again. Now he wasn't sure if he wanted revenge or if he just wanted to go back in there and be with her. Sawyer stood there for a while scared to go back in. Images of himself as a child going to help his mom before she died filled his mind. He looked down at his hands and closed his eyes as he saw her blood.

He couldn't go in there. Sawyer placed his foot inside the truck, but one foot was all he got in before he realized that he needed to go back inside. Sawyer stepped back and like a zombie he walked back towards the house. "Taylor,"

He closed his eyes as he walked over to her. Sawyer placed his hand to his mouth as he debated whether he wanted to get any closer. He dropped down onto his knees and just looked at her for a while. She was so pale, and blood covered her clothes. Sawyer shook his head as he looked at her. He loved her, and she loved him, no matter how screwed up he was, she had loved him. Sawyer reached out and brought Taylor into his arms. He studied her as tears coursed down his cheeks. No matter how unfeeling he wanted to be now, he couldn't control his emotions. Sawyer rested his cheek against Taylor as he held her tighter to him. Her arm dropped loosely by his sides.

"I'm going to kill whoever did this to you! I'm going to kill them!" He turned his face to the side and buried his face in her hair. Sawyer wrapped his arms around her tighter as if holding her dearly would bring her back to life. "I…I love you, I love you." Sawyer kissed Taylor's pale cheek. "I love you."

"Saw…yer,"

Sawyer pulled away in shock. His eyes widened as he wiped away the tears briskly. "Taylor…"

She looked back at him weakly. Her eyelids closed but Sawyer shook her gently.

"Stay with me. I'm going to get you help!"

"Sawye…" Taylor coughed violently she grabbed onto Sawyer's shoulders as she spit up blood.

Sawyer turned away unable to bear the sight. He was going to save her. He picked her up in his arms, she groaned in pain, as her blood fell onto his hands. Sawyer carried her towards the door. "You're not going to die."

"Sawyer…it hurts too much. I'm bleeding…I'm bleeding a lot aren't I…"

"No," He lied.

"I feel it." Taylor's head fell back slightly but Sawyer steadied her head in his arms like a baby. "Don't worry…" She coughed again. "about me…they have Chloe."

Sawyer clenched his jaw. They. She must be talking about the people after him. Rage clouded over his mind, but he couldn't allow it to take over just yet. "I'm going to get her back, but you just have to hold on."

"I love you Sawyer,"

"Don't you dare tell me you're goodbyes…"

Taylor's grip loosed on Sawyer's shoulder.

"Taylor!" He yelled. Sawyer dropped down onto the ground as he tried to keep her awake. He cupped her chin in his hands. "Look at me! Taylor, don't you dare! Look at me…"

"I see you…and you're beautiful." She said hazily.

"Taylor…"

"Save Chloe…save our daughter." Taylor whispered. She coughed once more, and her face twisted into agony as she started to give into her pain. "She's yours Sawyer….she's your daughter."

Sawyer didn't have time to make sense of what Taylor was saying. "Taylor, just hold on." He picked her up once more and stood up determined to get her to the hospital.

Taylor drew one last breath before her head fell against Sawyer's chest.

Sawyer looked down at her. He cried once again when he looked down at her open eyes which were looking back at him. "Taylor…"

There was no response. She was dead.