Hello!! My plans were to update a week ago, but I guess fanfiction.net had other plans. I'm sorry about that. It wouldn't let me update. But I'm here today...with a new part :D
Firstly though, I would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the feedback!
BethluvMax
Amylou
Mysticvysqiyi
Laurie-Lee
Burgandy LilySnohee
And two anonymous...
Thank you guys! It's because of you that I continue writing!!
Chapter 18
Max stood there in the middle of the living room - in
Liz's apartment. He let the silence fill him - flow into him through every
pour. He tried to gather his thoughts and his feelings. It all seemed like a
sweet dream, and he feared that he would soon wake up. He was not more than six
meters away from Liz. He had felt her, he had been able to touch her, he had
heard her voice speak to him, and it had been sweet music to his ears. He
closed his eyes and listened to the silence, trying to get himself to grasp
that the real world had for once given him a break. His feet took him to her
bedroom door, and he slowly turned the doorknob and slightly opened the door.
It creaked a little and Max winced as the sound ripped through the silence. His
eyes sought out her still figure easily. She hadn't moved since he had left
her. She was deeply asleep. He quietly entered the room, carefully closing the
door behind him. There she was - like an angel sent from heaven. He moved to
the bed, kneeling beside her. She was laying on her side, her legs pulled up
into a fetal position.
He traced her face with his eyes, letting her scent
envelope him. The last time he had seen her, she had been a teenager, now she
was a woman - a mother. A smile couldn't stop itself from tugging at the
corners of his mouth when he thought about the fact that he was a father. That
he and Liz had made a daughter together. He knew that she had changed in more
than her appearance, that she was probably not exactly the same Liz he had
known. He wasn't the same either. But he still recognized her. He recognized
her aura that was uniquely her. He recognized her very essence in how she
breathed, how her lips were slightly parted letting in the oxygen to fill her
lungs. Nothing could ever changed that.
He slowly lifted his hand to her face, tracing her
cheekbone. It was more prominent than what he had remembered it to be. He moved
his hand to gently brush over the bruises under her eyes, and sadness filled
his heart. She had been all alone all these years - raising a daughter on her
own. And something was definitely wrong with her. His eyes drifted over her
fragile body. She was so thin - too thin. For not the first time, he wondered
what was wrong with her. Was she sick? She looked extremely weak, the exhaustion
was infested in every detail of her face. He traced the delicate lines on her
forehead - lines of time and hardships - and marveled over the fact that her
skin was just as soft as it always had been. How could skin be so silky? He
tenderly moved his hand down the back of her nose, to lightly hover over her
dry and parched lips. The lips that had been so lucently red and soft. He moved
his lips to her forehead, intending only to leave a brief kiss, but his lips
lingered at her soft and warm skin. He reluctantly pulled away, the taste of
her skin still tingling on his lips.
Liz moaned slightly as he moved away from her, and
started to wiggle her body - her body unconsciously trying to seek his out
again. Max sat back, watching her - his mind still not fully comprehending that
he was here with her. Liz turned around, her back momentarily towards Max,
before she turned again to seek out the calmness and familiarity his presence
provided. She stopped moving, her body relaxed and peace settle itself over her
face as she once again positioned herself facing Max. But Max was already
raising from his position, having seen something on Liz's back, where her shirt
had ridden up due to her movements, before she had turned towards him again. He
slowly climbed up onto the bed and moved up behind Liz. He gently took a hold
of the hem of Liz's shirt and pulled it upwards.
He inhaled sharply as the appearance of her back revealed
itself to him. Her back was not the soft, lean and porcelain texture he
remembered. Her skin was whitish, and shiny - the texture inelastic. She had
been burnt - badly. Her whole back was merely scarred tissue. But that was not
the worst thing. In some areas of her back were water-filled blisters, and in
others were open wounds - some as big as three centimeters in length. Max was
slowly slipping deeper and deeper into his sea of guilt. He had not been there
for her. She was obviously in pain every day, and he hadn't been there to help
her. He swallowed - feeling sick, and pulled down Liz's shirt again.
Liz started moving about again, and turned towards him.
When she found what she was searching for, she sighed contentedly and snuggled
closer to him. Max pushed all his feelings of self-blame and guilt away, and
concentrated on the fact that Liz was here now. He laced his fingers with hers
and pulled her closer. She cuddled up against him, tucking her head under his
chin, covering her face in his shirt. Max felt her warmth flow into him, and
his body relaxed. Slowly he drifted off to sleep.
***
"...and he eat the peanubs," Emma's voice sifted into the
living room as the front door opened.
"The monkey sure did
love those peanuts, didn't he," Maria said.
Emma nodded
fervently. Michael stepped up behind Emma and Maria, shopping bags dangling from
his hands. He was never gonna go shopping with Isabel and Maria again. Now he
knew why Max always said he had other things to do when Isabel asked if he
could take her to the mall. Man! After the visit to the zoo Maria and Isabel
had suddenly reached the decision that Emma was in serious need of new clothes.
And they had to go into every store. And that was so cute, and that was so
sweet, and that was adorable. With a sigh Michael sank down on the couch, not
even possessing the energy to remove the shopping bags from his wrists. On top
of that, the shopping demons (read Maria and Emma) had both agreed upon that
Michael needed some new clothes as well. So against his will - and co-operation
- he was now the new owner of one pair of pants and two shirts.
Isabel snuck out of the living room to check on Max and
Liz. She lightly knocked on the bedroom door. Hearing no reply, she carefully
pushed it opened. She found them both sound asleep. Liz was snuggled close to
Max, as if she was trying to crawl inside of him - shielding herself from the
harsh and cold reality with his warmth and calmness. Isabel looked at her
brother's peaceful face. He had not slept one entire night since Liz's
disappearance, and Isabel realized that no medication in the world could have
helped Max with his insomnia. Liz was his only cure. As Isabel looked at them,
together again, she thought that once again everything was right in the world.
Sure, they probably still had some issues to discuss, but as long as they were
together again, there was hope.
***
"Are they still sleeping?" Maria asked Isabel as she came
back into the living room after having checked up on Liz and Max for the second
time.
Emma had joined them
in the bedroom too. Somehow Emma had been able to snuggle herself in between
Max and Liz, and Isabel admired that little girl for being able to break the
hold Liz and Max had on each other in their sleep. Max and Liz were now
sleeping on their sides, facing each other and Emma laying on her back
sandwiched between them - looking very content to have it like that. Max's and
Liz's hands were clasped together, resting on Emma's belly.
"Yeah, both must have
been really exhausted," Isabel said.
"Liz looks really
sick," Maria commented, concern and fear evident in her voice.
Isabel nodded, and
turned to look at Michael who had positioned himself on the couch - the TV on.
"I think we're going to have to think about the sleeping
arrangements. It looks as if we're gonna have to stay here for tonight," Isabel
said to Maria.
"I'll take the
couch," Michael said quickly.
"Hey," Maria
protested. "Who gave you that right?"
"I said it first,"
Michael said simply.
"Well, the last time
I checked we were not in Kindergarten...but I begin to wonder," Maria retorted.
"I deserve it 'cause
I had to be a pack-ass against my will," Michael said.
"Oh, how noble of
you," Isabel said sarcastically.
"Yeah, you're a true
gentleman, Michael," Maria said.
"Well, I try," Michael said and shrugged his shoulders.
"Besides, I'm a man, and I need to get a proper night of sleep in a proper bed
to be able to regain all my powers in order to save your asses if it's
required, remember?"
Isabel could
practically see the steam coming out of Maria's ears.
"Well, if you are such a man, then I think you should go
and buy some sleeping bags," Isabel said, before Maria had the chance to start
a fight with Michael.
"I'm watching TV,"
Michael said, as if that was reason enough.
"Michael..." Michael
heard the warning note to Isabel's voice and looked up in time to see a small
hint of the Christmas Nazi returning. Michael was quickly on his feet.
"Okay then, I'll get
those stupid sleeping bags. But then you have to do the woman thing, fix
something to eat!" The door was closed behind him before neither of the women
was able to yell at him for that sexist statement.
Maria picked up the
phone and threw it to Isabel.
"Pizza?" Isabel
asked.
"Yes, and extra
cheese for space-pig," Maria said.
Isabel ordered the
pizzas and then the women sank down on the couch, changed canal and waited for
the food to arrive - ready to be eaten - like any other modern woman.
***
Max slowly drifted up to the fringes of consciousness. He
felt a warm body pressed up against his. It all came rushing back to him as he
noticed the small hand that was entwined with his. He slowly opened his eyes.
The light of the morning sun was sifting through the window. He turned his head
and his eyes fell on the two persons that meant more than life itself to him.
Liz was facing him, her body close to their daughter who was positioned between
them. They were both sound asleep. The covers were only partly covering Liz,
since Emma evidently had tried to kick the covers off. Emma's cheeks were
flustered, having been heated up by her parents' warmth. However, Liz looked
cold. Due to the alien blood that flowed through his veins, Max was less
receptive to cold than humans - and Emma probably had some of that as well. But
as he cupped Liz's cheek with his hand he felt how icing cold her skin was. If
he hadn't heard her soft and even breathing he would have feared the worst. He
pulled up the covers over his two girls and rose to retrieve a blanket. If Liz
was anything like the Liz he had known, she would have a blanket in the closet.
On the top shelf of the closet, he found a blue and green blanket which he
draped over Liz's body. With one last look at his sleeping family, he left the
bedroom - closing the door quietly behind him.
Isabel looked up at him as he entered the kitchen.
"Morning, Max," she said with a smile. Max looked really
relaxed, thoroughly rested. Some of the worry and sadness, that had became like
an integrated part of him during the years of separation from Liz, had
vanished.
"Morning, Izzie," Max
said and rubbed his hand over his eyes. "How long have I've been asleep?"
"Well, dear
brother...about twenty hours," Isabel answered, casting a quick glance at the
kitchen clock. "You must have been really exhausted."
Max just nodded - a
little absent-mindedly - and sat down in one of the kitchen chairs.
"You want coffee?"
Isabel asked.
"Sure," Max answered.
He watched his sister as she poured coffee in a cup and placed it in front of
him. She sat down across from him and searched his face.
"Is Liz still
sleeping?"
"Yes," Max answered.
"She looks really
sick," Isabel said.
Max guilty avoided
her eyes.
"What's wrong with
her?" Isabel asked.
"I don't know," Max
whispered, the guilt and self-blame extremely prominent in his voice.
Isabel worriedly
searched his face.
"Max, it's not your
fault," she said.
"I haven't been there for her," Max said.
"You had no chance to
do so," Isabel said. "She hasn't contacted you - you didn't know where she
was."
"But she's in so much
pain," Max said. "Her-her whole back is burnt."
Isabel's thoughts
went back to what Max had told her about that night of Liz's 'death'. He had
experienced an intense pain in the back, but Isabel had dismissed it to be the
cause of the knife Liz's body had been penetrated with.
"Is that what you
felt?" Isabel asked.
Max nodded.
"I think so," he
said.
"But you can just
heal her, right?" Isabel asked.
Max nodded again, but
Isabel could see that his mind was elsewhere. Something was really eating him
up inside, and Isabel had a feeling that it was just not Liz's health condition.
"Max, what's really
bugging you?" she asked.
"Nothing," Max said -
starting to fiddle with his spoon in the cup of coffee.
"I know you, Max.
There's something else."
Max took a deep
breath, and then he looked up into her eyes.
"She's blocking me," he said. "She's blocking our
connection."
"What do you mean?"
Isabel asked.
"I can't feel her,"
Max said. "I've always told myself that it was probably because she wasn't
close to me - that there was too great of a distance between us. But that doesn't
make sense any longer. I've been...close to her now for hours and I still is
unable to feel her."
They both jerked out of their reveries as they heard the
bedroom door open.
They looked expectantly at the entrance to the kitchen to
see who was to appear. It was Liz, and she too looked as if some hours of sleep
had been good for her.
"Morning, Liz,"
Isabel said. Liz smiled softly, which warmed Max's heart.
"Morning,," she said
and walked into the kitchen.
"You want some
breakfast? Pancakes, cereals, coffee, tea..."
Liz smiled at
Isabel's enumeration.
"Coffee would be great," she said.
"Coffee it is,"
Isabel said and turned to pour another cup of coffee. Liz sat down on the chair
next to Max. She looked up into his face, and she instantly was lost in his
warm eyes. She timidly reached out and put her hand over his on the table. She
had this need to constantly touch him.
Isabel put down the
cup in front of her.
"There you go, Liz," Isabel said and sat down again.
"Thanks," Liz said.
"Why do you call me Liz?"
Isabel's hand froze
in the movement of taking a slice of bread and she stared at Liz.
"That's your name,"
Max said, confusion in his voice as he looked at Liz.
"I thought my name
was Elizabeth," Liz said.
"I guess it is," Max
said, "but we've always called you Liz. Don't you remember?"
Liz shook her head.
Isabel felt lost.
"What do you mean?"
she asked.
"I don't remember that my name used to be Liz, and I
don't remember who you are," Liz answered, and Max felt unable to breathe.
"You don't remember
us?" he whispered. Liz squeezed his hand, and looked deep in his eyes - her
eyes so familiar to him. She had always been able to look at him as if she saw
right through him - saw him as the person he really was.
"I remember you," she
said in a low voice to Max.
Isabel slowly lowered
her hand, staring at the girl who Max had searched for so many years - and
realizing that she hadn't really hid from him, she simply hadn't remembered
him.
"I think we have to
talk," Max said.
***
Max closed the bedroom door to Emma's room behind him and
watched Liz as she nervously walked around the room, picking up toys here and
there - organizing them.
"Liz, calm down," he
said.
Liz looked at him,
and nodded.
"Right," she said and inhaled deeply before she
positioned herself on the edge of Emma's bed.
Max looked at her, as
she was nervously twitching her hands in her lap - staring down at the floor.
She had no memory of them, which meant that she didn't know about his, Isabel's
and Michael's true origin. She didn't know that her daughter was half-alien. He
wasn't really feeling up to telling her once again that he was an alien. Been
there - done that. It had not been the most pleasurable experience.
"Do you remember
anything at all?" Max asked.
"I remember you," Liz
said so softly that Max barely didn't hear her. "But only you as a person...not
anything we've done or said."
"You haven't
remembered anything during these years?" Max asked.
"I have gotten some
glimpses...but it's only if I come into contact with something that reminds me
of the past," Liz answered.
"You don't remember
anything...uhm...special about me..and Isabel and Michael?" Max asked, hoping
that she would remember, so he didn't have to give her the shock of being a
mother to an alien child.
Liz looked up at him,
confusion in her face. Max could see how she was searching her mind in order to
truthfully answer his question.
"No," she said
honestly.
"Okay," Max breathed.
"Has anything...out of the ordinary..happened with Emma? Has she done anything
that you couldn't quite explain?"
Liz looked down at
the floor again, and Max understood that Emma had done something.
She couldn't tell him, could she? He would think that she
was crazy...
"Liz, just tell me,"
Max said, as if he could read her thoughts. Liz looked up into his eyes and the
love and reassurance she found there gave her the courage to tell him. To tell
him anything and everything.
"One day she said
that she had been in daddy's dream," Liz said, keeping her eyes locked with
his. To her surprise he didn't even flinch - he didn't show any sign of being
surprise by what she said or even thinking that she was delirious.
"Anything else?" Max
asked.
"She....healed me,"
Liz said.
"She healed you?" Max
asked.
"It's really stupi-"
"No," Max
interrupted. "It's not stupid - nothing about you could ever be stupid."
A feeling of
familiarity surged through her.
"Have you said that to me before?" she asked.
"I...I don't know,"
Max answered. "Maybe I have. Did you remember that?"
Liz nodded.
"It was like that when Emma healed my hand....there was
this bright light and I remembered-"
She stopped as she
realized what she was about to say.
"What?" Max asked.
"Uhm...the night...of
Emma's..uhm...conception," Liz answered.
Max couldn't help but
blush and he lowered his gaze to the floor.
"I want to try
something," he said slowly and raised his eyes to hers again.
She nodded slowly.
Max went up to the bed and sat down next to her.
"I have to touch
you," Max said. Liz felt the strangest feeling of déja vu and she nodded her
permission. Max tenderly cupped her face between his hands. They both tried to
ignore the electricity that momentarily cursed through their bodies at the
contact.
"Take some deep
breaths, and let your mind go blank," Max instructed her.
Liz calmed down her breathing, drawing deep breaths in
and out. She felt her whole body relax, and then she felt as if she was
falling. She felt herself being wrapped up in Max - in everything that was Max.
She could feel all his feelings. Most of all happiness, relief and love. She
felt as if her whole heart was beginning to warm up - thaw - returning to life.
That's when the images started to flow through her mind. Max's memories. She
saw a small brown-haired girl playing with a friend, and she realized that she
was looking at herself. She saw herself growing up from a little girl, to a
young woman through Max's eyes. Every flash was etched with admiration and love.
The images changed and she saw herself laying on her back on the tile floor,
bleeding from a gunshot wound in her stomach. She felt Max's panic as he
watched her gradually lose hold of life. Liz watched him put his hand over the
wound, and there was a bright light. When Max removed his hand the wound was
healed. Then she saw the fear on her own face as Max told her that he was an
alien, and she felt Max's sadness. Then the images started to come faster. Max
and her kissing, Max telling her that they shouldn't be together - that it
wasn't meant to be, Max kissing Liz the night he had been drunk. She
experienced all the heightened feelings that they both had felt during those
days in February before they found the orb. She re-experienced the desire that
had surged through Max as she had lightly moved her fingers over his bare chest
in Michael's apartment.
Then there was fear...so much fear and panic as Max
realized that Liz had been abducted by Nasedo. She relived his emotions during
his captivity. She felt his confusion, his panic, his fear - fear for himself
but mostly of anyone hurting any of his friends. She felt the pang of utter
misery as Pierce had shown him an engineered image of her death. Then she was
looking at herself in the van, feelings his longing for her. His love. The
first time he had told her that he loved her. She found herself in the cave
after Max, Isabel, Tess and Michael had received the message of their purpose
here on Earth through the hologram. She felt Max's confusion and anxiety as she
watched herself run away from him. She felt Max's loneliness when she was away
during the summer in Florida. She felt how much he missed her. She experienced
his pure joy and happiness as she returned to Roswell. But then she saw herself
laying half-naked in her bed with Kyle, and she felt how his heart broke.
That's when the feelings changed.
She felt Max's suspicion towards Liz - initially not
wanting to believe what his eyes told him was true. She felt Max's alienation
as she was pulling further and further away from her. The flashes were
penetrated with betrayal, and anger. But she could still feel the constant love
in the background, but it was buried under all the dark confusing emotions.
Then she felt him feeling worried about her as she was getting paler. She felt
his love for her start to come up to the surface again as she saw herself
standing outside his window in the middle of the night - in the pouring rain.
And she gasped as the intense feelings of joy, happiness, gratitude, and love
filled her when she accepted him back into her life.
Then everything became a large blur of dark emotions. The
feelings of agonizing grief and desperation devoured her. She could feel
herself being pulled into a world so dark, so lonely - and she witness the cause
to the gradual dying of his soul. She saw herself laying pale and cold in his
arms. She saw his tears fall on her still body. She saw blood - on the ground,
on his hands, in her hair. Then the images were coming faster again, but there
was a lack of emotions attached to the images. It was as if there were no
emotions left to experience. She only felt an overwhelming feeling of
emptiness. Next she was in a church, surrounded with people she'd known more or
less her whole life. Her parents, relatives, neighbors, people from high
school...people she didn't even recognize. She was witnessing her own funeral.
Then the images changed and she saw Emma. Several images of Emma started to
flash through her mind, and they started to mix with images of her. With a gasp
he pulled out of her mind.
He leaned his forehead against hers, gathering his
strength. It had taken a lot to send all those images and to keep the
connection open for so long.
"Max..." he heard Liz
whisper, her voice cracking with emotion.
He leaned back and
looked into her eyes, and he knew. He knew that it had worked.
"I remember," she
said and wrapped her arms around him, holding him as close as she could. "God,
Max. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"It wasn't your
fault," Max murmured, feeling how Liz was returning to him. The Liz he knew.
His Liz.
"I love you, I love
you so much," Liz whispered, her voice filled with thousands of emotions.
"I was dead without
you," Max murmured, closing his eyes and let his senses be filled by her.
Everything that was her. "I've missed you so much."
He could feel her
tears soaking through the front side of his shirt.
"Liz? I need to heal
you," Max said. He could feel her nod against his chest. She knew how much it
meant for him to be able to do that for her. She knew that he was withering
away under his own guilt, being devoured by his conscience for not being there
for her....or Emma.
Still in his arms,
she began to take deep breaths, trying to calm herself down again from the
intense trip on the emotional roller-coaster. She felt how he too started to
relax against her. Then he was inside of her mind again.
He felt her blood flow through his veins, her heart
beating in unison with his. He felt the air flow into her lungs as if it was
his, and then all the pain hit him. The wind was knocked out of him, and he had
to concentrate really hard to push the excruciating pain far back in his mind
and instead focus on her - on their body. He searched her internal
organs, finding the liver, the kidneys, the stomach, the heart, the lungs and
the lympathic system to be damaged - slightly burnt. He continued to move to
heal the external traces of her ill-health. He healed the bruises of her skin,
and the open cuts that hadn't been able to heal properly on their own. Next he
moved to the skin of her back. He started to heal the blisters and the open
wounds - melding the skin together. He focused on the damaged epidermal cell
layer of her skin, repairing it - repairing the damaged cell functions. He
continued to look over the neural pathways connecting her brain to the rest of
her body. He traced the nerves, seeing to it that they were not damaged.
Finally, he checked her over and then he pulled out of her.
They both shivered from the cold the withdrawal of the
other's soul left them with. Liz put her arms around her body, in an effort to
fight of the cold that was penetrating into her very bone.
"Did it work?" Max
asked, fearing the answer from the sad look in her eyes.
She shook her head.
Max closed his eyes,
and inhaled deeply. What was wrong? He had healed her, he knew he had.
"I'm still having a
headache, and the nausea is still there," Liz whispered.
"I don't understand,"
Max murmured, and then he looked into her eyes.
"Liz, pull up your
shirt," he almost ordered her.
"What?" Liz asked,
confusion written all over her face.
Max rose and sat down
behind her instead, and she realized what he was doing. She took a hold of the
hem of her shirt and pulled it upwards. Even though she anticipated his touch,
she still inhaled sharply as he gently brushed his finger over the naked skin
of her back. His hand was lightly moving across her skin, and she could feel
the desire that had been buried deep inside of her for so long - awakening
inside of her. A desire only his touch could bring forward.
"Max?" she asked, as
he didn't say anything. "How does it look?"
"Fine....perfect,"
Max whispered, pain in his voice.
"What's wrong?" Liz asked slowly. There was something he
wasn't telling her. He pulled the shirt down again, covering up her now
flawless skin and Liz turned towards him. He was staring at his hands
positioned in his lap.
"Why are you blocking
me, Liz?" he asked, hurt etching his voice.
"What do you mean?"
Liz asked.
Max looked up, and
Liz was somewhat taken aback by the amount of emotion in his eyes. Especially
the hurt.
"I can't feel you
through the connection," Max said.
"Oh God, Max," Liz
said slowly. "I haven't even thought about that. I can't feel you... I had no
memory of the connection before...so that's probably why I blocked it."
Max nodded, her words
sinking in and the hurt in his eyes gradually vanishing.
"Try to unblock it,"
he said, his voice encouraging.
"I-I don't know how
to," Liz said insecurely. "I never had to do anything to get the connection -
one day it was just there."
"Try to reach out for
me," Max suggested, having no clue to what to do himself.
Liz nodded and closed
her eyes in deep concentration. She concentrated on him. The way he was looking
at her, the way he softly caressed her cheek, the way he brushed the hair off
her forehead, the way he looked into her eyes, the way he kissed her, his
smile, his scent - everything that was him. Everything he meant to her. She
tried for almost two minutes, but then she had to give up - unsuccessful in her
efforts.
"I can't," she
whispered, her voice husky with exhaustion.
He pulled her close up against him and she gratefully sank into his arms. They both held on to each other, both desperately trying to fight off the coldness and loneliness that threatened to overtake them.
TBC...
