Illness as an Ally
"WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness." -Ellie Katz
:) Camp is fun. One more week to go! Hope you like this chapter...
Chapter 17: Eternal Sleep
I'm afraid of sleep sometimes. I'm afraid that when I go under, I'll never come back up. Plus, the whole "being unconscious" thing really bothers me. It feels like time sucked out of my life. That's why I hate sleeping in. That's why I hate it when other people sleep in. Don't they know they're wasting their lives? That they could be DOING something? ACCOMPLISHING something?
That's why I am glad when I wake up only half an hour after I have fallen asleep. Yami immediately comes out of the Puzzle and gives me a coy look.
"What?" I ask, rubbing my eyes. Then, remembering my mom's watchful hearing, (did that make sense?) I say it again, this time in a whisper.
Yami smirks at me. "Did you have an interesting dream?"
"I dreamt something about Vasoline, a pair of glasses, that girl from Furuba and an orange slip of paper. What I supposed to get something out of that?" I turn over onto my stomach, place my hands next to my body at navel height, and slowly push myself up, so that all of the cricks get out of my back. It's just a habit I've picked up, although it feels good to wake up and not stretch and feel like you've got some untapped energy within you just because you haven't exercised.
Yami just shook his head. "No, I just wanted to see if it would work."
"If what would work?" I say in a normal speaking tone, before remember my mother and admonishing myself for not whispering.
"I mouthed to you what I wanted you to dream about, and it came true," he said proudly. I shiver. "Yugi? If you're cold, the blanket..."
"You WHAT?" I manage to whisper in disbelief. "Why would you mess with my dreams like that?"
"I--"
"No offense, but when I'm asleep, it's the only time I really rid of you--not that I WANT to be, mind you," I correct myself, giving him an apologetic glance. It's too late; he already looks really hurt. "It's just that... I'd rather if I had my own dreams."
He nods sadly at me. "I understand, partner. I'm sorry." He looks really remorseful... and hurt. Darn it, what have I done?
"It's ok..." I smile weakly.
"Ssh, your mom is still around."
But it's not okay. Sometimes my dreams seem too real, and if Yami were to make them that way... then how would I know when I was awake? Yami could lock me in my soul room forever, where I'd rest among the many children's toys I have in there, (Yami says they symbolize innocence, but also that he's still looking because he just knows there has to be a blue movie in there SOMEWHERE,) and he could make it so that I would never know I was asleep.
Yami looks at me, horrified, and I realize I've been "thinking" too loud in addition to my talking.
I open my mouth. My jaw feels unscrewed. "I--"
"Yugi, I would never--"
"I know," I say smoothly. "It was just a thought. Just a crazy tangent thrown in. Can you use tangent like that?"
"Yugi, I would never, EVER--"
"I said I know!" I squeal. "It was just a crazy thought, Yami. I know that you would never, ever do that."
And he never would. Never, ever. But that doesn't mean I don't semi-fear sleep. I should be up and about, accomplishing things that keep Yami from his destiny.