Chapter Nine. And They Lived Happily Ever After? NOT!
Cam wasn't satisfied with the slow progress the crowd was making. "We need to move faster!"
One of Cinderella's friends met her by the path that lead to the road and gave her the magic wand she'd kept for her. "I have an idea!" She waved it in the air as they were passing the vegetable garden and 3 pumpkins turned into carriages. "That's a neat trick my fairy godmother showed me!"
Sam said, "All that's missing are the mice."
Cam held up three little ones and said, "Will these do?"
"They made it!" Daniel was thrilled to see the little creatures.
Snow White stepped forward and said, "See? The rest got out in time."
Cinderella waved the wand and the three blind mice turned into handsome young coachmen.
Cam said, "Aren't we forgetting something?"
"You're right," said Snow White. She waved her healing device and suddenly the three young coachmen had 20/20 vision!
"Oh, thank you!" They threw off the dark glasses and their canes and danced in a circle!
"You're welcome," she said as she smiled.
Cinderella thought a minute and wondered if she could wave her wand and make Daniel fall in love with her. She gave him an appraising look and raised her wand to try but Sam reached for it and said, "Don't even try it, Sister!"
Cinderella gook one look at Sam and her P-90 and decided that Daniel wasn't worth it. She gave up and headed toward the road.
Daniel stopped Cam and said, "Can you get the stable boys to hook the horses up to the carriages?"
"Great Idea!"
It took a few minutes but eventually they were ready to go.
Before they pulled out Daniel looked over his shoulder at the front of the castle and frowned. He reached into his shirt pocket and took out his glasses and said, "Look at that!" He paused for a second and then said, "What in the world is that?"
The group stopped and turned back to look. Oatmeal was pouring out of the windows on the top floor. Within a few minutes, the glass in the windows on the bottom floor cracked and then oatmeal started out those windows as well.
Cam said, "That, my friend, is Teal'c secret weapon. Remember Rebecca and her pot of oatmeal?"
"You're kidding!"
"No. Pretty ingenious, don't you think?"
"Sam's gonna be disappointed that she won't be able to backwards engineer that thing. She thought it might solve earth's hunger problem."
"Maybe we can talk the Asgard into making another one and letting us borrow it." He looked back at Daniel and said, "How did you manage to keep from losing your glasses?"
"I put them in my pocket as soon as we got locked up. It was pitch black in the cell so I didn't need them anyway. After that, it never occurred to me to put them on. We were kinda preoccupied."
Cam laughed and gave Daniel a playful punch on the shoulder, which caused Daniel to step back.
"Ow!"
"Sorry, buddy!"
They turned to look at the castle and saw the light from the fires in the village cast an eerie glow on the scene.
Daniel said, "You know, they won't be able to come back here."
"I know. But at least they'll be free. They can start over."
At that moment, front door burst open and the Queen's palace guards came sprinting out, followed close behind by the Queen herself riding her chair atop a wave of hot cereal. She fell off the chair just as it reached the village and spotted the escapees up on the hill next to the castle. Daniel saw her get up and gesture towards the guards. They could hear her screaming at them even from that distance.
"Everybody run!" Daniel shouted to the crowd and as one, they headed for the carriages and piled in. Sam jumped up to sit next to the coachman as Daniel and Vala helped grandma inside just as the three little pigs went racing by. Cows don't run extremely fast but Jack's cow took off at lightning speed for the clearing.
Daniel and Mitchell jumped onto the back of the carriage and Cam radioed to the SG teams by the gate, "Dial it up! Get the people out of there. The Queen knows we escaped and she's headed this way!"
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General Landry heard thee klaxons go off and made it down to the control room in time to hear the message from SG-4.
"We're coming through hot, sir. We have refugees!"
"Open the Iris, Walter."
The trinium blades swirled back from the center and the event horizon reflected it's blue, shimmering surface into the gate room. Within seconds, scores of peasants started arriving, carrying their children and their meager belongings. The SGC staff were prepared for the onslaught and escorted them into the hallways to make room in front of the gate. The bewildered villagers had never seen anything like 21st century earth technology so they stood in awe of their surroundings. Jack the Giant Killer and his cow stepped through the event horizon and Milky-white bellowed out a loud 'MOO,' which took everyone by surprise.
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As they castle escapees neared the clearing, Daniel turned back and watched in horror as the queen's guard could be seen approaching on horseback. They were a ways off yet, but they were moving faster than the former prisoners were.
He got on his radio and yelled, "General Landry, if you can hear me, we're going to need back up! We're being pursued by about 20 palace guardsmen on horseback and one really ticked off Goa'uld!"
"We can't send any help through, Dr. Jackson. The gate is open from your end and the way is blocked with refugees. As soon as we can, we'll send reinforcements!"
"Okay, Sir. Thanks." Daniel looked at Cam and said, "We're going to have to make a stand."
"I know. We're a good 15 minutes from the gate and they'll be on us before that."
They rounded a bend just in time to see Teal'c and the Three Bears come out of the trees on the side of the road.
"I heard your transmission Daniel Jackson. Do not worry, we have it under control."
They heard a thunderous crash from behind them and stopped their coach. They stepped down and looked back toward the road they had traveled. There were craters in the road, big enough that no horse could get through. The Queens guards stopped just in time from falling in. There were yells and curses coming from them as the Queen shook her fists and started yelling.
"Great job, Teal'c. Ya'll did great." The bears stood on their back legs and applauded their success. Then they turned around and headed back into the woods.
"They aren't coming with us?" Cam was disappointed. He wanted to learn about the Furlings.
"That would not be wise, Colonel Mitchell."
"I suppose you're right. If three bears came through the gate, they'd probably get shot on sight."
"Indeed."
Daniel said, "We'd better get going. This will slow them down but they can still get through the woods."
"Okay, let's go."
They got the carriage moving again and caught up with the rest and before long, the whole group was at the gate. There was still a good sized group waiting to get through but Daniel felt they had enough time to accomplish it before the Queen got there. They waited patiently and as the last few went through, SG-1 turned and looked back. The castle could be seen glowing in the night and the hot cereal was starting to come over the village wall.
Sam said, "Well, I guess the refugees won't be coming back here."
"I believe you are correct, Colonel Carter." Teal'c smiled for the first time any of them could remember. Then he yelled, "Little Pot Stop" at the top of his lungs!
Daniel asked, "Will that work? Even from this distance?"
"Rebecca assured me that it would."
"That was a pretty good idea you had there, T," said Cameron.
Teal'c nodded and said, "It was my pleasure, Colonel Mitchell."
"Yeah," Daniel said. "I never did like oatmeal. But I like that Queen even less!"
As the Queen entered the clearing they saw the dragon do a fly-over and as Sam looked up, she said, "I think the only thing we haven't seen is a cow jumping over the moon."
Daniel said, "You're getting your fairy tales mixed up with your nursery rhymes, Sam."
"What is a Nursery Rhyme?" Teal'c looked confused.
"We'll explain when we get back," Cam said, "Right now I think it's time to go, T."
They turned as one and walked through the gate.
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Cam yelled up to the control room, "Shut it down!"
They turned around and the whole gate room was filled with refugees, airmen, and marines who burst into applause as the sight of them. It was thunderous and there was whistles and cheers! Prince Phillip was there with Princess Aurora. Grandma had been reunited with Little Red. Jack the Giant Killer's mother found him and gave him a big hug. It was a time of rejoicing! Cinderella was watching Daniel carefully. When he met her gaze, she smiled and his alarms went off.
"Oh, no."
'What?" Cam wondered what Daniel was worried about.
"Do me a favor. Make sure that Cinderella doesn't follow me to the showers."
Cameron grinned. "I think I can find a reason to ask General Landry to confine our visitors to the guest quarters on the top three upper levels. That way, they won't get in the way. For safety reasons, of course."
"Of course."
"Welcome Back, SG-1"
General Landry smiled at them from the control room windows and then said, "Head for the infirmary. Debriefing in one hour."
Daniel said, "This is going to be one of the most bizarre debriefings ever!"
"Yeah, one for the record books!" Cam said.
"More like the story books," Vala said as she carried a certain valuable goose down the ramp. "Daniel, you never did finish telling me the story about the Princess and the Pea."
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Daniel was allowed a shower before his post-mission physical and he almost felt like a new man. His shoulders were still sore from being tied up on the pole but he otherwise felt fine.
Dr. Lam was checking Daniel's blood pressure and said, "It sound like you were lucky to get out of there alive. Everyone's been talking about it."
"I almost didn't. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to be Alpo for the dragon."
Dr. Lam looked at him wondering what he meant.
"Oh, that's a reference to the fact that the dragon acted a lot like a dog. It whined a lot."
"I see. You seem to be in some pain. Want to tell me where?"
"My shoulders are still a little sore. And, I have a headache."
She checked his pupils and found them to be equally reactive. "Well, it's probably due to a few things. Stress, for one. When's the last time you ate?"
"I haven't had much. For two days, nothing. Then a meal bar when I got rescued."
"Okay, as soon as you can, get something to eat and then some Tylenol. I'm going to sit in on the de-briefing. I need to know what happened in case any other symptoms pop up in the next few days."
After Doctor Lam cleared them for their meeting, they headed for the briefing room. It took quite a while to tell everything that had happened over the last few days. When Dr. Lam heard about Vala being poisoned, she said, 'I'll need you to come back to the infirmary so that I can check you out."
Sam said, "I have one of the apples. I thought you might need it."
"You know, if I hadn't seen the refugees for myself, I would be inclined to think you were all under the influence. I wasn't quite sure if I could believe you until I saw some of the refugees for myself. The Gingerbread man was what convinced me."
"I know, Sir. It's pretty hard to believe and I was there!" Sam looked at her team sitting around the table and they all nodded.
"Sir, what is going to happen to the refugees?" Cameron was curious. It was a large group and it wouldn't be easy to relocate them.
"Tuplo agreed to take them to the Land of Light when we contacted him. They'll stay there until we can find a suitable planet. It'll take time to set up an infrastructure and though we can offer to build them modern facilities, they requested that their homes be built like they were on PF7-144. It's a small thing to ask, since they're being relocated to another planet.
"You're right, General," said Daniel. "They have a lot to adjust to. It's only fair that they take it at their own pace, as much as possible."
Sam said, "Sir, we're having a problem with Cinderella. She's giving her Prince the cold shoulder. They were separated by the Queen and their marriage annulled before we got there. Her husband had been banished to the mines. Now, she's refusing to have anything to do with him. He wants to try again but she's not interested."
"Why? What happened? I thought they were supposed to 'live happily ever after,'" Landry said with a chuckle.
Cam said, "Well, sir, it's like this. She got a good look at our handsome Dr. Jackson here and that was it. She was 'Twitterpated."
"Twitterpated? Is that right? Did you encourage her, Dr. Jackson?"
Daniel was upset that Cam had called it, 'twitterpated.' "No sir! I tried explaining to her that I wasn't interested but she wouldn't listen. She kept making passes at me and it was all I could do to get away from her."
"Sir, I think marriage counseling might help," Sam said.
"Good idea," General Landry said. I'll make the arrangements. So, give me your honest opinion. How did the 5 man team work out?"
"Surprisingly well," Cameron answered. "It was a bit rough at first, but once Vala and Daniel called a truce, we all got along fine."
Teal'c smiled slightly and said, "Indeed. We saw a remarkable improvement in their relationship. I was most impressed with the result."
"It wouldn't have to do with a certain kiss, would it?" Landry looked from Vala to Daniel and saw Daniel turn a bright pink.
"Umm..."
'Never mind, Dr. Jackson. You just told me the answer." Landry chuckled. "Since you two are civilians, there isn't much I can do about your having a relationship. Just as long as it doesn't interfere with your work here at the SGC."
"Relationship? We don't have a relationship, sir." Daniel said with all seriousness.
Vala said, "Daniel, how can you say that? We've just been through a very trying experience and I thought we had an understanding? Are you trying to tell me you don't want to pursue this? That's not fair! You didn't even talk to me about it first! You kissed me a few times, with quite a measure of passion I might add, and I thought you were definitely looking for more than just friendship. Were you just playing me along?"
"Daniel, did you really kiss Vala? Willingly?" Cam looked very amused.
"I told you the place was enchanted. That's all it was. We were under some spell."
Cam said, "Sam, did you feel like you were under a spell? I didn't feel it. I think maybe Daniel's gone and gotten himself twitterpated, too!"
Sam snorted and tried to hide her laugh behind her hand but she wasn't succeeding.
Daniel glared at Mitchell and Sam and said to General Landry, "Sir, if you don't mind, I need to go. I have some things that I have to do that can't wait!"
"Dismissed!" Landry barely got the word in before Vala started in again. Daniel pushed his chair backand quickly left the room with Vala right behind him yelling.
"I see what's happening. You're interested in that Cinderella tramp, aren't you? I knew she had the hots for you! How dare you walk away from me! I'm talking to you!"
Landry smiled and shook his head. "Yup. Things are back to normal, whatever that is!"
The End
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Author's Note: I know that Jaffa do not sleep but they meditate, at least the ones who aren't on Tretonin do. I can't remember if I've ever seen an episode where Goa'uld sleep (at least, not outside the sarcophagus). It would take me too long to go through all eight seasons of DVD's that I have, so, for the purpose of indicating that time has passed, I had the queen waking up from a few hours of rest in chapter 8. Please forgive if this is an error.
So, that's it! Thanks for all those who reviewed as each chapter was posted: Desert Blossom-by-the-Sea, Blessington, Fiara Fantasy, StargateAngel101, Morgana, and Britta Gelund,and ilovedanieljackson.
Thanks for reading! Please review. It feeds my writing addiction and encourages me to write more!