This is one of the two continuations of Fall to Pieces.
Chapter 1: Going Under
Sean's POV
"I'm pregnant."
What? What... What. I shook my head forcefully. "Are you sure?"
Ellie looked at her feet and laughed dryly. "Yeah... I'm sure."
"You took a test?"
She looked back up at me. "Yeah. I did. I'm positive, Sean. I'm pregnant."
Damn. This was almost too much for me to handle. I rubbed hand over my face. God, I was tired. Was I kidding? Ellie was pregnant and all I could think was that I was tired? What kind of person am I? I should be comforting her right now, telling her everything is going to be okay, but I can't. I don't know if everything is going to be okay. Actually, I'm pretty sure it won't be. We're going to have a baby. There's no room in our lives for a baby. "How could this happen?" I yelled out loud. I didn't mean to snap at her, but the situation was making me angry.
Ellie threw her hands up in the air, "Yeah. Cause I sooo planned this. I don't know, Sean. It just did. I just thought you should know."
I watched as she started walking away from me. Where was she going? "Where are you going?" I reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her. God, when had my voice start to sound so desperate around her? Her hand was so cold, but it was also soft and I loved the feel of it against mine.
Ellie's shoulders dropped and she turned around, tears streaking her cheeks, "I don't know where I'm going. I don't know anything anymore, except that I have too many things going on to take care of a baby."
I bit the inside of my cheek. She couldn't even take care of herself, how was she supposed to take care of a little kid? I finally realized the seriousness of the situation. Ellie and I were in high school. She didn't have a job; I had a little job, but just enough to get myself by. Not enough to take care of two more people. What the hell were we going to do?
"I'm sorry..."
My head snapped up at Ellie's words. Her lower lip was trembling slightly and I knew she was trying so hard to hold on to any control she had left. She looked ready to break down any second, though.
"Sorry for what?"
"For doing this to you! I wasn't even going to tell you, I didn't want you to know. I don't want your life ruined."
"My life ruined? Ellie, my life couldn't be ruined anymore than it already is."
"I know! That's why I didn't want to tell you, but I just got so upset tonight and next thing I know, I'm over here and I've told you. You were never supposed to find out. Just go on with your life, okay?"
I grabbed her and pulled her towards me. "Oh no. I'm not letting you get away. We have to talk about this."
Ellie tried to writhe out of my grasp, but I was too strong for her. After a few moments she just gave up and collapsed against my chest in tears. "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough to do this."
"Shhh..." I ran a hand over her hair and buried my face into it. "You are strong enough. We'll both be strong enough."
She looked up at me with shiny eyes, "You want to be apart of this?"
"Are you kidding with me? There's no way I'd let you go through this alone. Contrary to popular belief, I do take responsibility for my actions. And I'd never treat you like trash. Never."
The corner of her mouth lifted slightly and I hugged her even closer to me. Maybe we could do this. Maybe it wouldn't be so impossible. We just had to stay together and think it through. We would be okay, I was sure of it.
Ellie's POVSean and I sat up all night talking on his porch. He held me close to him and I slid my fingers through his. That night, our relationship was the most innocent, ironically because I was pregnant. We talked about doctor's appointments, telling our families, keeping it a secret from everyone at school, money... We exhausted each topic before Sean finally walked me home. I decided that maybe it wouldn't be a good idea if I spent the night at his house. Especially since my parents didn't know I was gone.
The walk home was silent. Both of us didn't really know what to say anymore. So I just thought about the weekend and the day I found out.
-----Flashback-------
I rolled over in bed and immediately felt nauseous. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. It didn't help that I had barely gotten any sleep the night before and I had resorted to nursing a bottle of wine as I sat in the dark. None of my friends had called me that night. No one wanted to do anything with me. No one wanted to talk with me. I was so pathetic. But, oh well, I was used to it. I'm used to being alone.
My parents weren't going to be home that night- something to do with some benefit dinner. I was supposed to go with them. I had a new dress and everything, but due to my enormous stomach cramps, I wasn't up for it. I made a permanent home on the living room couch with the remote stuck to my hand.
Suddenly, I was grabbing my coat and heading out of the door. Next thing I knew, I was at a pharmacy in front of the pregnancy tests. It was like I had been in a complete daze the entire time I was walking from my house. I kept telling myself that I didn't need to be in this aisle. That nothing was wrong. But I knew something was wrong. I had been getting sick in the mornings for a while now, had no period, and dealt with stomach cramps every day. I knew what this felt like. I also knew I felt incredibly stupid. You would think that I would have learned by now. Learned to always use protection or get some fucking birth control or not even have sex. But I'm so completely stupid!
I paid for the damn test and went home to stare at it for three hours before finally doing the stupid thing. Exactly as I expected, I was pregnant. I was going to have a baby. God, all I did after that was stare in the fucking mirror and think of how fat I was going to be. What is wrong with me? Why is that my main concern instead of what everybody was going to say, what I was going to tell Sean, how the hell I was supposed to raise a kid.
I'm not going to lie, the thought of ending it all sounded tempting. But I knew I couldn't do that. I had a few things to live for- my friends, Sean, my family, my kittens. It's sad that I don't even care about living for myself. Then again, what do I ever do for myself? Nothing! I do everything for everybody else and look how I end up. Pregnant at fifteen. I'm such a fucking slut.
And now I had to break up with the one person that seemed to actually give a shit about me. As always, I wasn't about to be selfish and expect him to stay with me forever and raise a kid and take care of me... I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to call him up and just scream at him, to pretend that it was his entire fault. But I couldn't. It's not in my nature to be selfish. I never think about myself. And once again, there's going to be one more thing standing in my way of thinking of only myself- a baby.
---------End of Flashback---------
But I had been selfish. I had broken down. And I told him. And I thought it was supposed to feel good, but I felt completely numb. I felt like my life was over. Seriously, what was I going to do?
We reached the gate to my house and Sean insisted on walking me all the way up to the door. I was really lucky to have someone like him who seriously cared about me. Who wouldn't let me try and do this all by myself. I don't think I would have been able to do it all by myself. I needed him as much as I hate to admit it.
"You going to be okay tonight? Do you want me to stay over or anything?" Sean whispered in my ear as he gave me a goodbye hug.
I shook my head and sighed into his shoulder.
"When are we going to tell your parents?"
"Never."
"Ellie..."
"I don't know, Sean. I don't even want to think abo-"
The door flew open and both of my parents stood in the doorway. "What the hell is going on here?" my dad asked sending an accusatory look towards Sean. Great...
I opened my mouth to explain but shut it abruptly. If I explained, that would mean I'd have to tell them I was pregnant. I wasn't ready to tell them yet. I couldn't tell them now.
Sean spoke up, "Ellie and I have something to tell you."
What the hell?
Sean's POVI nervously sat on the loveseat in the living room next to Ellie. Her whole body was shaking and her grasp on my hand was limp. She looked ready to pass out any second. I knew I would have to probably do most of the talking. And explaining. What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Nash, but Ellie and I have sex all the time and now she's pregnant?" Somehow, I didn't think that would go over well with the parentals.
"Well? What do you have to tell us?" Ellie's mom asked. I gave her a look and she looked back at me, eyes wide and her hands wringing. She suspected. I knew it.
I held onto Ellie's hand and placed it in my lap and licking my lips. "Um... Well... You see..." Dammit. This was hard. "Ellie came over upset because..."
"I'm pregnant."
Damn. I didn't realize she was just going to come right out and say it like that.
Both of Ellie's parents froze, shock written all over their faces. Mr. Nash swallowed hard and moved forward in his seat, but sat back after a second not knowing exactly what to say.
"I'm sorry, mommy and daddy."
I glanced at Ellie and saw how young she looked. How worried. She was only fifteen. This really wasn't good. I blinked and watched as Ellie's dad got up off of the couch and walked out of the room without saying a word. Her mom went after him. Wow...
"Daddy?" Ellie choked out. She gave me an incredulous look and flew off the couch to find her dad. Leaving me alone.
Ellie's POV"Your dad is tired. He doesn't want to be bothered."
"Mom! I have to talk to him!" I followed her towards her bedroom. The door was already shut and I knew my dad was in there, upset to say the least.
My mom suddenly turned around and grabbed me in the biggest hug I had ever received from her my entire life. My arms went slack at my side. I didn't know what to do. But she kissed the top of my head and told me it would be fine, but her tears were falling onto my face. I remembered that she too got pregnant at my age. And I realized that she understood me. For the first time in my life, I think my mom understood me.
I woke up the next morning and tip-toed down to my dad's study. He was usually there in the mornings, making a few quick phone calls and getting all his papers together. Maybe if I could just talk to him alone, I could make him understand that I didn't mean for any of this to happen. That I was scared and I needed him to help me.
The door was already open to the study and my dad was sitting at his desk, his head in his hands, sobbing. I don't mean a few tears, I mean sobbing. His shoulders heaved up and down with every cry and my heart plummeted. How could I have done this to him? I had always tried so hard to make him so proud of me, and I go and get pregnant. What kind of daughter am I?
I put a hand on his shaking shoulder and squeezed lightly. He didn't look up but he covered my hand with one of his own. "Daddy?"
My dad raised his head and wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me to a seat on his lap. This is how I always used to sit. And he'd tell me stories and sing me songs and we would just talk about everything. I rested my head on his shoulder and he rocked back and forth. "I love you, Elle-belle."
"I love you, too, daddy."
But everything isn't entirely okay. Ellie and Sean are in for the ride of their lives. Let's just see how well they handle pregnancy, moving in together, speculations, and, most of all, Ellie's problems.