Author's Note: Wow, you guys totally made my morning yesterday. I woke up and I was like, "I should check my mail" and there were a whole bunch of reviews waiting for me. I read every single one and they all made me feel so nice and warm inside. If it doesn't seem like it, I just want you guys to know that I read every single review. Hell, I got a pie out of it P.

Speaking of reviews, man you guys really seem to like Jason. And we're about to hit 150! squees like a little fangirl... I so did not just do that.

Chapter Seventeen:

"Mark, you have to eat something," Maureen said as she pushed a plate of fries in front of the filmmaker's face. She knew that hospital food wasn't the best thing in the world, but she also knew that Mark had to eat. He already ate so little and his body was probably starving for some nutrition. "Pookie, please? For me?"

"Leave me alone, Maureen," Mark said as he turned away from her.

The diva stared at Mark's back, slowly putting the plate down, "You can't keep doing this, Mark. You're alive. You should be happy. You should be taking care of yourself."

The filmmaker didn't respond and Maureen wondered how Mark could possibly act the way he was acting. She had never seen him act like that before. He was always so willing to please that he would do anything. She was always able to get him to help with her sound equipment or film her protests, but now she wasn't even able to get him to eat a few fries. What do I do? She asked herself. What do I do?

"I don't know what you're going through right now, Mark," Maureen started, unable to really process the emotions that she was feeling, "I don't even know what's going on. I just… I really want you to get better, be happy again maybe? I want you to be able to talk to me, all of us."

"It's not always about what you want, Maureen," Mark said softly.

"Then what is it that you want?"

"I want… to be left alone…"

Maureen bit her lip before nodding, "Okay. Fine."

Getting up from her seat, the diva walked out of the room and gently closed the door. She breathed in deeply and blinked away the tears that welled up in her eyes. She had never been good with dealing with other people's emotions, especially not Mark's. She hardly ever saw him the way he did back in that room. Mark was always so happy towards her, so warm and friendly. Sometimes he would be sad, but he shrugged it off and kept on smiling. She could deal with that Mark, but she didn't know how to deal with this Mark, this withdrawn, depressed, almost unresponsive person.

Collins had decided to take Mimi for a walk after what had happened earlier. Benny had to return to work, but promised to be back later. Joanne had to talk to her superiors about what was happening and straighten out a case that they had handed her. Maureen felt like she had no one to go to. She was always so ready to talk to Mark, but now Mark wasn't being receptive. And Roger just wasn't an option.

God, I need a drink, she told herself as she shook her head and walked away from Mark's room.

"Hey, are you alright?" Collins asked Mimi as they walked in the courtyard behind the hospital.

"I don't know what to feel," the dancer answered, "I always thought that something like this would never happen."

"You're talking about Roger, aren't you?" the professor asked as he led them to a bench. Sitting down, he pulled out a joint and held it between his fingers, "Listen, there's a lot you don't know."

"I know that, but no one wants to tell me what. Roger's too busy running off to god knows where and Mark… I can't make him tell me right now. Not like this…"

Collins nodded as he lit up the joint and took a puff. He handed it to the dancer who thankfully took it between her fingers and took a drag. They sat in silence for a while before the professor sighed. He leaned back and looked Mimi, her features showing her frustration and confusion. He prayed that what he did next would be right.

"Mimi, I think I should explain a few things to you." Collins said.

"Do you know something that I don't?" Mimi gave a bitter laugh as she took another drag and handed the joint back to the older man.

"I think I know the reason why Roger walked off."

The dancer shook her head, "Can you tell me? Or is it a big secret?"

"It is a secret, but I think you have the right to know, especially since Roger is your boyfriend and Mark is your friend. I think you're the only one who doesn't know that Mark has tried to commit suicide before."

Mimi's eyes widened, "What?"

"It was a while ago, during the very beginning of Roger's withdrawal," the professor explained, "Roger was taking it really badly, especially with what had happened to April."

"But why would Mark do that to himself?" Mimi asked, "He helped Roger through that didn't he? While you were away at MIT?"

"By the time I left, things had calmed down a lot. Mark could take care of Roger and fend for himself, but before that… things were pretty crazy."

"What happened?"

"If I tell you this story, you'll have to understand that this all happened in the past and just like you, Roger only recently heard it. You can't judge him based on this."

The dancer nodded, "Okay."

"Shit." Collins cursed under his breath as he ran through the rain, thunder roaring in the distance. He hated thunderstorms. It always made him think of a superstition his friend had told him of. In Asian countries, many believed that if you had done something wrong or sinful the gods would use lightning to strike you down. He had been young when he had been told the story so it scared it and it still stuck with him.

"Shit," he cursed again as he ducked into the doorway of one of the buildings. He was only a few blocks away, but the rain was coming down so hard he could hardly see. He was already soaked to the bone. He hoped that Mark was doing alright with Roger. He hadn't liked the idea of leaving Mark with a junkie that was detoxing, but the filmmaker had insisted that he go out, maybe grab a drink and relax. He took the suggestion, simply because he knew Mark would make him take a break from looking after Roger sooner or later.

Collins pulled out the loft key and clutched it in his fist. He would have to thank Mark for being considerate enough to give him the key since he didn't have enough money to use the payphone and he didn't feel like yelling above a storm.

Now or never, he told himself as he pulled his jacket over his head and ran down the rain slick streets. He pushed his legs to keep going as the rain pounded against him, blurring his vision and chilling him to the core. He made a mental note to add an umbrella to their list of things they needed because this was just ridiculous.

"Finally," he breathed as he pushed open the door to the building and stepped inside. He dripped all over the place, the stairwell quickly becoming wet with all the rainwater that he carried in with him. I hope Mark's got a spare towel we can use for the floor, he thought as he walked towards the loft door.

As he put the key into the lock his brows furrowed in confusion. He could hear something from inside the loft. It confused him because it didn't sound like a struggle and he knew that when Roger got violent things got broken and Mark got loud, trying to calm Roger down. Unless it was a fight the loft was usually quiet.

He turned the key and slid the door open. The sight that was revealed to him made his stomach turn and he nearly vomited right then and there.

"What?" Mimi asked when Collins stopped speaking, "Collins, what did you see?"

The professor took a shaky breath before speaking, "They were both on the floor and Roger was strangling Mark."

Mimi's hand went to cover her mouth as she gave a gasp.

"And… uh…"

"What?"

"Roger was…" Shit. This was far harder than he had thought it was going to be. "He was between Mark's legs."

Mimi shook her head, "You… you don't mean that Roger…"

"Yeah."

The dancer buried her face in her hands.

"Mark tried to commit suicide three days later," Collins said, knowing that Mimi had to hear the rest of the story to understand the motive. "He slit his wrist and he left behind a note in the bathroom. He said that he was sorry and that… he loved Roger."

Mimi's head shot up, "What?"

"Mark's in love with Roger."

"And Roger knows this?"

"He had just found out the day before Mark was brought to the hospital. He found out everything the night before."

"Oh god," Mimi breathed.

"Are you okay?" Collins asked, worried that telling her was the wrong thing to do.

"I don't know what to think," the dancer answered.

The two sat there, not knowing what else to do. Collins hoped that what he had said shed some light on the situation.

Roger stood outside of the hospital doors, trying to decide if he could really do what he was about to do. He knew that he wanted to talk to Mark, especially after what that kid Jason had said. Was leaving really that bad of an idea? He asked himself as he crossed the threshold before he lost his nerve.

He had sat in the loft for a long while after everyone had left and just thought about what had been said to him. He was slow to realize it, but he discovered that he really had been stepping on Mark's feelings or at least playing with them. He had been so caught up in how he felt about the entire situation that he had forgotten about his best friend.

Mark had told him what had happened those years ago, something that was hard to do and then go on to reveal that he had more than just brotherly feelings for his best friend, which was the hardest thing anyone could do especially when their best friend was the same gender as they were. And Roger knew he didn't take into account how badly it hurt Mark to bring up those memories. He also didn't take into account how vulnerable those confessions left Mark.

He hadn't expected Mark to try and commit suicide. Now that he was rethinking everything that he could have done, he regretted walking away from Mark that night. He knew he should have stayed because he wasn't the one that was putting his emotions on the line. He wasn't the one that would get his heart broken. God, I can be such an idiot sometimes…

The closer he got toward Mark's room, the worst the feeling of nervousness in his stomach got. It was getting to the point where he wanted to vomit. Come on Davis! He scolded himself. You can do this! You've performed in from of hundreds of people before.

Standing in front of Mark's door was one of the most frightening things he had ever experienced, simply because he had no idea what was going to greet him. As he reached for the handle, a voice drew his attention away.

"Roger?" Maureen was walking down the hall, surprised by the fact that the musician was standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Mark," the musician said, softly, "I just… I want to talk to him and apologize."

"You had better!" the diva exclaimed, smacking the musician's arm hard, "God, you can be so damned dense sometimes!"

"I'm sorry," Roger said, "Is it okay if I talk to him now? Before I lose my nerve?"

"Oh right," Maureen said. And she watched as Roger stood there for a long moment, "Well, go in!"

"I was trying to get ready to face him," Roger said, slightly annoyed.

Now or never, he told himself as he placed his hand on the door handle and turned. He pushed the door open.

The room was empty.

Mark was gone.

Author's Note: You can say it, I'm evil for leaving you guys hanging like that especially since Roger just got up the nerve to go and talk to Mark. Also, the conversation with Collins and Mimi may seem a little out of place, especially since Collins has been guarding the secret so well, but sometimes people make bad judgements. Drama!

Let me know what you think and please... don't kill me for leaving you guys hanging like that. Oh and if you guys spot typos, feel free to point them out so I can correct them. I know I cringe when I catch typos in stories.