Sean's POV
I leaned my back against Ellie's locker, checking my watch for the fiftieth time. She had to be getting here soon. We hadn't talked since her parents found out. I felt that maybe I should let her and her family have a little room for the moment. Now, I was anxious to hear what had gone down.
"Hey Sean. Waiting for Ellie?" Marco smiled at me as he started to open his locker.
I shrugged. I didn't know how much Marco knew. Usually Ellie told him everything. And I mean everything. So, maybe he knew about her being pregnant. It would make sense for her to run to him for advice. Then again†I hadn't really noticed her and Marco talking lately. She hadn't been talking to anyone lately. Everyone was too caught up in trying to help her that they barely even paid attention to her anymore. How messed up was that?
"Yeah, just waiting for her," I finally answered him.
Marco shoved a few books onto his shelf and closed the door quietly. "Yeah, I haven't seen much of her lately. Ever since everyone found out about†well, you know. The whole purging thing. We're going to meet in the library today at lunch. We're thinking of asking Ms. Suave to join us."
My eyes widened, "Are you kidding? Ellie would freak. She doesn't like Ms. Suave."
"Well, Ellie's not going to know."
I let out an impatient sigh and ran a hand through my hair. "You know, maybe I didn't really see her making herself throw up. Maybe I made a mistake."
"Did you see her Sean or not?"
I stared at a group of seniors down the hallway. What was I supposed to do? Tell the truth and get Ellie in trouble or not and let Ellie continue to hurt herself. She had enough to worry about with the baby and everything. She didn't need any added stress. But she could also hurt the baby if she continued to do this to herself. I was between a rock and a hard place. "Listen, I don't know. Okay? She's coming. Let's talk about this later."
"Meet us at lunch?"
"Maybe. I don't know. I might eat with Ellie today."
"Hey boys," Ellie greeted as she came to her locker.
I gave her a smile and held her backpack while she opened the door. Little things like that made her smile. Today was no different.
"Hey Elle. My mom's making chicken alfredo tonight. You should come. You can too Sean."
Ellie hesitated and glanced down at her stomach before giving Marco an answer. "Well†I don't think I can-"
"We'll be there," I finished. She gave me a look and I raised my eyebrows a bit.
Marco noticed the awkward exchange but didn't say anything. "Cool. Dinner's at 7:30. Ciao."
Ellie shut the door to her locker. "Oookay†What was that about?"
"What? Free food for me. Plus, you need to start eating more if you're going to have a baby."
"Wow. How about you say it a bit louder so the entire world can hear you."
"What's your problem? How are your parents? What's going on?"
"Nothing's my problem except I feel queasy and I'm pregnant, my parents are fine, and I have a doctor's appointment after school on Wednesday. You should come."
"I'll ask off of work. I should be there. So†your parents are okay with it?"
Ellie slid to the floor and sat back against her locker. I followed her lead. "Well, they were upset. Of course. Like any normal parent would be. But they know they can't really do anything so they've accepted it and they're going to help out. I don't know how they feel about you, though."
"What do you mean?"
"You got me pregnant."
"Not intentionally!"
"But you still did. My mom can't get over the fact that we've had sex. She mentions it every chance she can."
"And you say"
"I tell her that so did her and dad at my age. And then she shuts up and lets me go on with my life. My dad is kind of quiet about it but he's constantly reminding me how much he loves me."
I entwined my fingers with hers and kissed right underneath her ear. "He's not the only one."
"What?" Ellie looked at me incredulously.
I nervously licked my lips. "He's not the only one who loves you†I love you."
She didn't say anything. I waited for her to respond with an "I love you, too" but nothing†I tried again. "I'm in love with you."
Ellie took her hand away from mine and stood up quickly. "I'm going to be late for class. I'll talk to you later."
I looked at my hands as she walked away. I told her I loved her for the first time and she walked away without even acknowledging my feelings. I wanted to blow it off and not feel embarrassed, but that was impossible. I felt extremely embarrassed. Here I was, Sean Cameron, seemingly inept of all feelings, practically pouring my heart out to this girl and she ignores me. I'm such a loser.
Ellie's POVI slammed the door to the bathroom open and looked around nervously. No one was out in the open. I checked underneath all the stalls. Nope. No one was there at all. I had to make this quick though. I closed the door behind me and sat on the top of the toilet, pulling my grey arm warmer down.
How could he have said that to me? I grabbed the tiny razor from my purse and drug it along my arm. Breydon was the only other boy who has ever told me that he was in love with me. None of the other boys I've carelessly hooked up with or shamelessly chased after ever loved me. They just used me and then ignored me. And I went back to them over and over hoping that someday they'd feel something for me- that they'd start to get emotionally attached to me, but they never did.
I've grown used to the fact that I'm unlovable. Even Marco couldn't love me. A tiny line of blood beaded up on my arm. All the stress seemed to pour out of me at that moment. That line was for Sean telling me that he loves me. The next line I made was for me walking away. The next was because I couldn't return the emotion. The last line was for me getting pregnant. That line was the deepest and the longest.
Lunchtime rolled around and I searched the hallways for Sean. No such luck. Dammit. Where did he sneak off to at this time? None of my friends were in the cafeteria, or outside, or in the study hall room. Well†maybe I'd get some studying out of the way. I headed towards the library and pulled on the heavy oak doors.
So†that's where everyone was. Marco and Ashley and everyone were seated at a large table near the back of the library. And Sean was with them. Why was Sean with them? He never really hung out with them? As I came closer I noticed they were all talking in low whispers with serious expressions on their faces. What was going on?
"Hey." I rested my hands on the back of Sean's chair and leaned forward.
They all froze in mid-conversation and put fake smiles on their faces. Okay. Couldn't they pretend a little better than that? Sean craned his head around to look at me and smiled. "I was waiting for you."
"Huh?"
"Well, I couldn't find you so I figured you'd be eating lunch with Marco and Ashley. So I followed them in here."
Oh. Sean scooted his chair back and patted his lap for me to sit down. I obliged and wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his around my waist. My waist that would soon be expanding even more. Just the thought made me want to throw up. Or die. Either one would work.
"So what were you guys talking about?"
"Uhh"
"Well"
"Ummm"
Yeah. So obviously they had been talking about me. My eyebrow arched and I fixed them all with a haughty look. I could take it. Ashley cleared her throat and gave a quick shrug. "We were just talking about what we were all going to do this weekend. Sean's thinking about having a party."
Sean stiffened and I gave him a look, "You are?"
"Yeah†I am†I guess" He glared at Ashley and she lifted a shoulder in defense.
"That's†weird." I couldn't imagine Sean having a party and formally inviting all of them. This was all just too†weird. Totally unlike Sean.
I tried to give Sean a sign or hint that I wanted to go and talk by ourselves for the rest of the lunch period, but he never looked at my again. Sure, he was holding me and everything, but it wasn't a comforting hug. It was like it was a duty or something for him. God. What did I expect? I had totally just ignored him before and now I expected him to give me all his attention. I was seriously becoming demented.
"Where's your lunch, Ellie?" I looked up trying to figure out who had asked that. Jimmy? Craig? No. Spinner.
"Why do you care, Spinner?" I retorted back at him. That kid was always on my last nerve.
He picked up his can of cheese spray and put a huge blob into his mouth. So gross. Even worse, he smiled as he chewed on it. Ick. I turned my attention back to massaging Sean's head with my fingernails. He looked up at me and gave me a quick smile, but I could tell he totally did not mean it. Great. I had officially fucked up.
I trailed a few kisses from Sean's jaw to his collarbone hoping to get some sort of response out of him. He didn't take his eyes off of his book. For once, he wanted to study while I wanted to fool around. Now I know I messed up. But is it so much to ask for him to put his study biology book down and make out with me for, like, five minutes? I fell back against my side of the bed and sighed loudly, hoping he'd get the point.
He didn't.
So I sighed again. This time was even louder and he still didn't move an inch.
What was I supposed to do? Jump on top of him and rip off his clothes to get some sort of affection? I was not going to be that pathetic. Plus, I just wanted to kiss. Nothing big. I didn't want to go down on him or anything. Just†kiss. That's all.
"Will you quit doing that?"
Oh, so he speaks†I turned my gaze away from the ceiling and met his. "Quit doing what?"
"Making that noise."
"What noise?"
"You're 'I'm annoyed' sigh. It's getting old."
God! I glared at him and turned over onto my side so I wouldn't have to look at him anymore. You would think he would be nicer to me seeing that I'm pregnant and not having a very good life at the moment. But no. He has to go and act all shitty because I don't love him. What a jerk. Is it my fault that I learned along time ago to not fall so quickly for someone and he didn't?
Sean's POVI watched as she turned onto her side after giving me her death glare. I couldn't do anything right with her. I can't act distant. I can't get too close. Nothing is good enough for her. I thought that girls wanted to hear that they were loved. I guess not. It's not exactly the easiest thing in the world telling a girl how you feel only to get burned.
But maybe she wasn't ready. I was taking it pretty hard out on her. Giving her the cold shoulder, pretending to study while she tried to instigate a make-out session, snapping at her†All this while she's carrying my kid. Things have to be pretty rough on her and I go and confess my feelings. Maybe what I said wasn't so wrong. Maybe it was just wrong timing.
I turned on my side so I was facing her back and scooted closer to her on her bed. Maybe we could sort all this out before her parents came home. "Elle?"
She didn't say anything. Okay, I deserved this. "Elle?" I tried again, this time running my hand up and down her arm. Just touching her shot tingles throughout my body. "I'm sorry."
She turned around quickly and threw her arms around me. "I'm sorry, too. Really, I am. I'm just"
"Having hormonal imbalance?"
"Yeah, how did you know that word?"
"Some of us have been researching."
"Ohmigod. Are you seriously researching pregnancy?"
"Yeah."
"How lame is that."
"Very"
She kissed me. "But sweet. Very sweet."
"Well, I just thought one of us should be prepared."
"What is there to prepare for? I go through nine months of horror to go through probably fifty hours of excruciating painful labor. While you sit back and watch. Is that good for you?"
I grimaced and kissed her on the forehead. "That sucks."
"But I'll get drugs."
"Yes, you will get drugs."
"And I will be very doped up."
"I hope so."
I leaned in and kissed her on the mouth.
"Maybe you should go."
I pulled my hoodie back on. "Why?"
"Because" She zipped her skirt up and grabbed her shirt laying on the bed. "Truthfully, my dad will kill you if he sees you."
"I can't avoid him forever."
"Yes you can."
I shook my head and started my way downstairs after her. There was no way I just going to run away whenever her dad was nearby. That was ridiculous to even think about.
The front door open and closed and Ellie turned around and tried to shoo me back upstairs. I looked at her as I walked past her down the stairs. It was time for her dad and me to talk.
"Ellie? We're home."
Mr. Nash walked up to the stairs and looked up at both of us. I saw him clench his jaw and his fists before giving me a tight smile. Okay. Maybe I should have left. He looked like he wanted to kill me.
"Hi daddy," Ellie ran down the rest of the stairs and gave her dad a quick hug before facing me. The terrified expression on her face wasn't helping matters at all.
"Hi Mr. Nash," I extended my hand for him to shake but he ignored it and walked towards the kitchen.
"Dad!" Ellie's voice had a warning tone to it and she followed him into the kitchen, giving me a signal to wait here. Great. I'd just twiddle my thumbs while her dad thought of a way to kill me.
Ellie's POV"Dad, you're being ridiculous."
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Congratulate him on getting you pregnant? I don't think so."
"It's not he forced me dad. Believe me, I didn't stop him."
"Ellie, I don't even want to hear that, okay?"
"Well, you have to if you're going to be treating Sean this way. He's my boyfriend. We're having a baby. Deal with it."
"I'm trying, but it's hard. Okay?"
I sighed and took my dad's hand in mine. "I know, daddy. But†you just have to. Sean's going to be here a lot. He's going to be a part of this family."
My dad sneered and slammed his glass of water down on the table.
"Dad, you always tell me you'd do anything for me"
"And I would!"
"So show me. Don't treat Sean like this. He deserves better."
I gave my dad my famous "pretty please" pout and batted my eyelashes. It gets him every time.
"Fine"
Yep, it hasn't failed me yet.