Chapter 5: Bringing up the Past

Ellie's POV

I carried my last box into Sean's apartment and threw it on the floor. "That's it!"

Sean stepped out of his bedroom and glanced wearily at all the boxes and bags surrounding his kitchen/living room quarters. "Wow. I didn't realize I asked Paige to move in."

I stuck my tongue out and wiped my hands on my pajama pants before stooping down to empty the boxes. I still couldn't believe I was actually moving in. It wasn't really that big of a deal actually. I mean, I spent all my time at Sean's before, why should now be any different? Now I'd just be here... literally... all the time. Sean knelt down next to me and grabbed a box to empty. I smiled when our arms brushed against each other.

Sean looked at me, "I can't believe you're moving in."

"I was just thinking that."

"I'm surprised your parents were so cool about it."

I shrugged, "Well, you know. They're so busy as it is. They know they can't give me all the attention I need right now. My dad's going to be really busy traveling around, catching up on business, and mom... she just... she's always busy, too."

I hated how pathetic I sounded. Things were actually going pretty well with my parents. It's just that their careers will always come first. I can't compete with their jobs. So I have to learn to deal with it. After fifteen years, I still haven't dealt with it completely.

"You have me now, Ellie. I'll never be too busy for you."

"Thanks, Sean."

"You know, if you're going to be living here, we're going to need more food in the house. I'll scrounge around for some grocery money later on."

I sat back on my heels and brushed a strand of hair back into my ponytail. "We don't have to scrounge. My dad gave me some money."

"We can do it."

"Sean..."

"I don't want to take your dad's money, okay?" Sean snapped.

I flinched at his tone. What was wrong with him? What was the big deal? "Listen Sean, I know you have your pride and everything, but... we can't mess around. What we're in is serious. And if we need my dad's money to survive, then we're going to take it."

"But..."

I stood up and walked into the kitchen to grab a drink, calling out, "Sean, grow up!"

"How about this?" Sean held up yet another bag of greasy chips. He wiggled the bag around in my face for a little bit before I lightly grabbed it out of his hands and placed it back on the shelf.

"That is so disgusting," I wheeled the cart forward a little to look at the rest of the items in the aisle.

"Ellie. We've been shopping for an hour now and all we have is a pineapple and a jar of pickles. You have to do better than that."

"Sean..."

"Ellie, I'm dying here."

I heaved a huge sigh and grabbed a bag of SunChips. "Fine, you can have those. At least they're a little better."

"Ew. Are they healthy?"

"Healthy and chips don't really go together, Sean. But at least they don't have all that grease on them. Oh god, salsa. Sean, I want some salsa."

"Pick some out then."

"Okay." I grabbed a few bags of Tostitos and jars of hot salsa.

"You like it hot?"

"You know I liked it hot."

He laughed softly and grabbed me in a chokehold before nuzzling my head with his chin. I squirmed in his grasp but he managed to keep a hold of me. "Sean!"

"Fine, fine."

We walked down a few more aisles- me putting back everything Sean tried to sneak into the cart. I let Sean keep his Tony's party pizzas, though. Even I knew that boy couldn't live without pizza. I stopped short and looked at everything in the cart. The pizzas, salsa, chips, pickles, yogurts, eggs, milk, soda pop, juice, bread, bagels, and chicken. That looked pretty good. "Hey, Sean, I think we're fini- Oh! Wait!"

I wheeled my cart around to go down another aisle I had just passed. "Sean? You coming?"

Sean looked up from some bag of food he was looking at and gawked at what aisle I was going down. "Oh no! No way am I going down there."

"Relax, Sean. I'm getting deodorant. Not tampons. I don't even need tampons now."

"Can you stop saying that word?"

"What? Tam-"

"Ellie!"

"Jesus Christ, Sean. You're so immature." I smirked as he tried to hide his eyes as we walked towards the other end of the aisle. He was so immature, but kind of in a cute way. I scrutinized the different deodorants. "Okay, what scent- peach or pear?" I showed Sean the two different containers.

"Ummm... Wait, let me smell." He grabbed both of the containers from me and quickly sniffed each one. "Peach."

"That's what I was thinking."

"Oooh, Sunrise Breeze? You can try that one. Or there's Midnight Sparkle." I couldn't believe it but he was actually going through every scent. He grabbed another container and opened it up before placing it in between us so I could smell it too. We both sniffed.

And looked at each other. "Peach," we said in unison before he put the cap back on and set it in its place.

Sean's POV

I settled down on my couch next to Ellie and sighed as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. It had been a long day for the both of us. Packing and unpacking, grocery shopping, writing lists of things we needed to do soon... I can't believe how much more mature I have become since living on my own. And now I have someone to share my little apartment with. I don't ever have to be alone again.

"Are you tired?" Ellie murmured as she flipped through her magazine.

I stretched out and put my feet on top of the coffee table before responding, "Kind of."

"Yeah. Did you want me to make you dinner?"

"No, that's okay."

"I promise I'd make it right this time."

"I don't want to take any chances."

"You're so funny."

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She peered at me over the top of her magazine and shook her head slightly, but I could tell by her eyes that she was smiling behind her magazine.

"Have you thought of any names for the baby yet?" She asked it so casually, as if this was an everyday topic- what we were going to name our baby.

I thought hard for a second. I really hadn't thought about it, I've been so busy just taking care of Ellie. "No, actually. Which is strange considering I've thought about just about everything else."

She put down her magazine and snuggled herself into the big pillow behind her back. "It's so strange, you know? I should be worrying about my chemistry test or my AP history paper, but instead I'm worrying about whether or not I'll be a good mom or not or if it'll be a boy or girl. I never thought I'd be thinking this at fifteen."

"Soon to be sixteen."

"Yes, soon to be sixteen."

I gazed at her stomach as she lightly rubbed it back and forth. I wondered if she could feel the baby yet. My guess was that it was probably too soon. She still was so little. You couldn't even tell she was pregnant.

"Are you scared?"

Ellie looked up at my question and shrugged. "Of course I am. I mean, I'm so young. I've always been so mature for my age and everything, but... this is in a whole different league. This is taking care of a little baby."

"But you're going to do great. You were great at the orphanage."

"I don't know..."

"Do you mind if I ask you why you chose to get an abortion the first time you got pregnant?"

She blinked at me surprised. I guess my question did kind of come out of nowhere. But I was really curious. I mean, what changed her mind now? Why did she decide now that she was ready?

"I-I guess I was too scared. I didn't have anyone. I mean, all my friends just kind of... abandoned me, I guess you could say. I was having a really hard time. Just- just everything was going wrong for me and I couldn't take the pressure. I didn't want anyone telling me what I could or couldn't do and I didn't want anyone dragging me down, especially not a baby. I really don't know how to explain it. I don't think anyone can really, truly understand it until they're in the position to choose."

"I agree with you."

"It was horrible. The place I went to... God, I can't even believe I was that desperate. A lot of things had happened between my parents and I. They didn't trust me anymore, they took away my allowance, I didn't have enough money. A friend told me he knew someone. It was the biggest dump I'd ever seen. It hurt. But it was over with."

"Wow..."

"Yeah, wow... I bet you didn't know what you were getting yourself into that day on the roof, huh?"

I laughed and laced my fingers through hers. "I knew exactly what I was getting myself into... Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure."

"That day at the orphanage- when you were playing tea party with those girls and holding the baby- I caught myself thinking that that was how it was going to be when we had kids."

"You did?" Her eyes got wide and she tightened her grip on my hand.

"Yeah... I couldn't believe I thought that. That's not something you think about everyday. I'd never thought that about a girl before. But it's true. You're going to be the best mom."

Ellie beamed at my words and leaned forward to give me a kiss. "And you're going to be a great daddy."

Ashey's POV

"Ohmigod! Look at her!" Paige pinched my elbow and nodded her head in the direction of Ellie coming through the front doors, holding hands with Sean. "She doesn't look big at all. I wonder how big she'll get? That's going to really depress her when she starts gaining all that yucky weight."

"Yeah, I bet it will." I shut my locker door and leaned my back against it, keeping my eyes on Sean and Ellie the whole time. How could she look so happy? This wasn't what someone was supposed to look like when they're pregnant. They're supposed to be upset and crying all the time and going psycho. Why wasn't she?

"Who are you guys looking at?" Hazel came up from behind us.

"Oh, just the mommy-to-be."

"Well, I think Ellie looks great. She has that whole healthy glow thing about her. It's about time, too. She was starting to look absolutely dead," Hazel clasped her hands and sighed. "Babies are so cute. They're happy! I think it's great!"

"You think it's great that she's pregnant?" I couldn't believe my ears. Was Hazel that naive?

Hazel shrugged, "Hey, if she's happy then it is great. You should be supporting her, Ash. Not speculating."

I hated when Hazel was right.

I took a seat next to Ellie in English class that day. I hadn't sat next to her in a long time. She looked up from whatever note she was reading and gave me a surprised look. "Who's that from?" I gestured towards her note.

"Marco."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, um, how are things?"

"They're... fine. Well, as fine as they can be."

"Feeling sick?"

She shook her head slightly, "Not really anymore. I just feel... weird, I guess I'll call it. Different."

I took out my notebook and pen for class and set them on my desk. "I bet you do. Are things good with Sean and your parents?"

"I'm actually living with Sean right now."

"WHAT?!" I screeched. The whole room fell silent and even Ms. Kwan looked up from her computer. I sheepishly lowered my head and whispered to Ellie. "You're living with him?"

"Yeah. We just thought it would be for the best."

"Wow. Things sure have changed."

"Tell me about it."

We glanced at each other and both started laughing, the uneasiness between us disappearing immediately. I don't know. I had a certain feeling that maybe things would be okay between us.