Thanks again for so many reviews! Haha, I loved the one about my name not seeming to fit with a deep story…

Shards of Distortion

Chapter Four: The Toxicity of Love

The alarm was sounding; lights were flashing. "A building holding a rare and lethal test chemical has just been broken into. Titans! Go!" the familiar cry was shouted. Three of the Titans responded instantly to the call, and were on their way out of the T-Tower. The leader halted. "Raven… you sure you want to come?"

The girl stared at him, eyes deadened. She nodded once, and they piled into the T-car.

The night was calm, and the streets were silent. Shadows swallowed them, engulfing them into the night. A grey cement building stood tall above the others, looking rather uninviting. This was their destination. Suddenly, something moved.

"A common thief?" Robin commented, seeing what they were up against. A man stood outside of the building, dressed in black. He was holding onto a small container for his dear life. At their arrival, though, he broke out into a run. "Titans!" Robin shouted, pointing at the man.

They felt the ground tremble, hearing the immense stomping of a gigantic robotic killing machine which stepped out from behind the building. It was as tall as a building, with two legs and two arms like a human. Intricate detailing of wires and such covered the huge thing. Beast Boy squealed, sweat-dropping as a huge 'foot' nearly crushed him.

The arms of the robot started glowing, looking remarkably like laser cannons. Details on its body glowed red as it charged up. "Raven! Move!" Robin shouted, as it was aimed right at her. She looked up just as the robot released its tremendous blast.

She was still alive? She stared blankly ahead, realizing Cyborg had dove and pushed her out of the way. He was now carrying her small body, running, as huge blasts shot from the robot's arms and tore up the pavement. The few cars parked on the street were hurled into nearby buildings, causing much damage.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, getting to her feet.

"No time for that. Raven, get out of harm's way. Go after the thief with the chemical," Robin ordered.

She nodded, and took off to find the man, as the others battled the machine. Her navy cloak trailed behind her as she levitated above the buildings in search of the thief. It was completely deserted, there was no trace of him anywhere.

The sky was lonely and cold. Just like her. The scene below was grey with darkness; the few bits of light shone an eerie yellow. Looking over alleyways and street corners, she found nothing.

She fell back into deep contemplation, as she tended to do nowadays. Her mind wandered, as her body flew, patrolling the ground below for signs of the bad guy. How could she escape this? Why did she stay? What was the point…? She knew the point. She knew it was him… he was controlling her life, her mind, her powers… "Robin," she whispered.

She suddenly gasped as she started to fall from the sky. She screamed, realizing her powers weren't working properly, and she couldn't keep herself up. Her scream was high and completely different from her usual voice, revealing her vulnerable side.

"Raven!" Beast Boy shouted, spotting the girl. She was high above the city, plummeting towards the pavement. Starfire and Beast Boy flew as fast as they could towards the falling girl, Robin and Cyborg running as fast as they could towards her on foot. The machine was temporarily forgotten.

Raven felt the sudden jolt as she stopped falling moments before hitting the ground below. Starfire and a massive green falcon had grabbed her, saving her from certain death. They gently lowered her to the ground.

"I… ahh," she groaned, clutching her forehead and stumbling forward. Starfire steadied her.

"There he is!" Robin exclaimed, pointing. The man in black stood beside the robot, the robot's arms were glowing eerily. "Titans! Attack!"

The robot was incredibly strong. When Robin leapt forward to attack, it tossed him into a wall with a sickening crunch. Starfire's starbolts seemed to have no effect. The robot smacked her into the wall as well, landing her in a heap on top of their leader. Beast Boy and Cyborg got a similar treatment, thrown into the wall by the strong arms and the laser blast. It was one Titanic heap.

The machine aimed its massive cannon directly at Raven. She was the only Titan remaining. Fear shone in her eyes. The sound of the beam came, and she shut her eyes due to the intense light. "Raven!" her teammates screamed.

A shadow-bird emerged, shielding the girl from the blast. Angry and majestic, the bird tore through the beam and straight through the robot, causing pieces to fly everywhere. With a shrill cry, the bird's eyes glowed red and the building burst into flame. Starfire and Beast Boy carried Robin and Cyborg away from harm, into the air.

They saw a massive black shadow in the form of a bird; four narrow crimson eyes glinted in the dark. The shadow-bird proceeded to rip right through the man, as he clutched the container. The most unpleasant sound of fear and agony echoed all around. The man screamed as his heart was being ripped out, his soul pierced by the dark figure.

The bird cried triumphantly as the man fell dead. The container fell from his unmoving hands and into the fire. Starfire and Beast Boy, realizing what would happen as the contents were heated, flew as far and fast as they possibly could while carrying Robin and Cyborg. As predicted, the contents exploded.

The Titans shielded their faces from the massive explosion. They couldn't see, and didn't want to. As the dust cleared, the bird had vanished. Somewhere, under slabs of concrete and pieces of pavement, lay their friend.

The Titans immediately started to carefully uncover the wreckage. Debris was everywhere. The buildings were left in shambles. None of the Titans dared to speak anything but call her name. All, even optimistic Starfire, believed her to be dead. After all, Raven had just been caught in an explosion, and buried under an entire building.

Tears glistened freely in Starfire's eyes as she lifted the largest pieces of concrete away. They were used to their teammates being hurt; they were superheroes after all, and that was part of their job. But this time… She sobbed softly, but none of the others came to comfort her. She knew they didn't want to face each other. She figured they might be crying too.

Cyborg angrily threw the pieces of concrete away. It wasn't her fault… no, Raven hadn't murdered him. It wasn't her fault. She shouldn't have come… Why hadn't he stopped her? Why had he not realized she wouldn't have been able to handle it? He listened to the sound of the concrete smashing, giving him the slightest satisfaction.

Beast Boy morphed into several animals, trying to discover which would be most effective at lifting the heavy chunks of cement and pavement. Elephant, rhinoceros, grizzly bear, triceratops, falcon… "This would be so much easier if I had arms or something," he muttered. He couldn't push the masses of concrete, as the slightest touch could cave in on Raven in case she was… still alive…

Robin showed no emotion. He was good at that. The mask helped… He couldn't bring himself to believe Raven had just killed a man. Or that she was… He couldn't finish the thought. Why had it happened? Why had she fallen into such a state?

Robin caught a glimpse of indigo, Raven's cape. He ever so gently lifted away the large chunks of debris. He didn't know why he didn't immediately call the others over. Selfishness. But how was he being selfish? And why?

An overwhelming flood of emotions came over him as he uncovered the girl. He had managed to get through the concrete that buried her, throwing the pieces surrounding the area, making short walls around the two of them.

"Raven," he whispered softly. He felt his heart racing, and an overwhelming sadness caught in his throat. He put his head to her chest, listening for vital signs.

She was breathing softly, with difficulty, and her heart was still beating. She was unconscious. He gently lifted her, his arms supported her neck and under her legs, cradling her.

"Raven… I'm so sorry… I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry for being a jerk lately." He pressed his forehead against her gentle face. "I've been… trying to figure out why I've been acting this way. You do something to me, Raven. You make me feel a certain way. Vulnerable, really… more than I ever have before. But it's more than that…"

He held her body closer to his. He closed his eyes. He gently caressed her face, overcome with feelings. "Raven… I think I-"

"Robin!" Starfire's voice shouted. "Robin! You have found her!" Footsteps were heard, as Beast Boy and Cyborg made their way over. Robin stood up, carefully holding the fragile girl.

"Way to ruin a moment," he muttered to himself. "Yeah, she's still alive. Let's get her to the hospital wing straight away," he ordered, as Cyborg took her from his arms.

They carefully walked around the debris in silence. "It's a good thing the T-car wasn't caught in the blast," Beast Boy said, finally speaking. Nobody replied. "…Okay then…" he said, shrinking back.

Cyborg gently placed Raven's limp form in the back seat of the T-car. Robin sat next to her, her head in his lap. Beast Boy morphed into his sweetest kitten form and curled up beside her. Star sat in the front beside Cyborg, who was at the wheel.

Robin stared at her violet hair. It was beautiful… He absentmindedly began to stroke it, as he watched her pretty face for signs of consciousness. He gazed at her long, dark lashes, and wished they would flutter open. He glanced at her lips, wishing he could—

"And why are you touching the hair of Raven like that?" Starfire demanded. Robin jumped, realizing Starfire's bright green eyes were staring right at him. He hadn't even noticed he had been stroking her hair…

"I, uh, was checking her temperature," he said.

"With your gloves on?"

"Uh…" The green kitten stared at him, eyes huge. It smiled at him. "Stop that!"

"How's she doing?" Cyborg asked. Robin took off his gloves and felt her temperature.

"Definitely not good," he replied. "She's really, really warm. Definitely high fever…"

"So she's sick then?" Cyborg asked, worriedly.

"Mew," the green kitty sounded quietly with a sad tone. His head gently rubbed against Raven's arm.

"Guys… this is bad," Cyborg said.

"When did you figure that out," Robin said sarcastically.

"Before you!" Cyborg retorted. "You didn't see what was happening to her. You didn't notice she was sad. You've been ignoring her, pushing her away, hurting her! It went on for months, even! And you didn't realize she was getting worse. I bet it's all your fault!"

"What!"

"Please, friends!" Starfire cried meekly.

"How can it be my fault? You're delirious, Cyborg. Anyway, it's not like I was that harsh…" He was greeted by three glares.

"Yo, Robin. Remember the whole Starfire speech thing-a-ma-hoozie? The whole 'mind is sick means body is sick' thing? …Well, we're back," Cyborg stated, as they parked in the garage. They got out of the T-car, and rushed Raven into the emergency wing.

Cy lay her down, and started hooking up medical equipment to the frail girl. She had a ghostly look to her.

"How long d'you think she'll be like this for?" Beast Boy asked.

"I really couldn't tell you," Cyborg said quietly. "Might get better, might…" he trailed off. He couldn't stand to think about that.

"It will get better," Robin said gravely. His brow was furrowed; his hands were clenched.

"And how do you know this?" Starfire asked. "Do you have the ESP?"

Robin shook his head. "No, it's just… well it has to…" the others watched in disbelief. For once, Robin was lost for words. He turned towards the fragile girl. "Raven… I'm sorry…" his voice was full of sorrow, as it cracked slightly.

He knelt by her side, head on her bedside. He put his bare hand over hers, feeling them strangely cold for her having such a high fever. "I'm so sorry…"

Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire sat in the huge lounge-area. Cyborg had dragged them out, saying Robin needed some time. They had never seen him like this before. He hadn't even noticed as they left; the others wondered whether the mask concealed tears.

"Why can we not just observe?" Starfire asked, sitting beside the other two who were playing a racing video game.

"Because Robin needs time alone," Cyborg said exasperatedly, having repeated himself many times already.

"But he's not alone," Beast Boy said slyly. "He's with Raven."

"You know what I mean," Cyborg sighed. 'Game over', the screen read, the green ship defeated.

"Aw, man," Beast Boy pouted, throwing the controller onto the ground and getting up. "I'll start on dinner."

"You know what really cheers me up? Meat. Not fake meat! Meat," Cyborg said, getting up as well.

"Oh, Cyborg, do not be so hard on Beast Boy's artificial meat! It is not so bad. He is getting quite good at the cooking of a substitute for the animal flesh," Starfire said.

"Ew. So, uh, why is Robin acting like this?" Beast Boy asked, cutting tofu into cubes. "I mean, I know Raven's in rough shape, but Robin's never taken it this personally before…"

"Perhaps it is because it is his own fault," Starfire offered. "He contributed to the sadness of Raven, did he not?"

"Yeah, that's right," Cyborg said. "I'm still not gonna eat tofu, BB. But it could be a lot of things. Maybe it's because he ordered her to take that position. Or because he wasn't very nice to her before. Or this is the first time someone close to him has been so close to death. Or maybe he likes Raven," he suggested casually, grinning.

"NO!" Starfire said angrily, pounding on the table, sending the tofu cubes flying. "He does not like her!" Her eyes glowed green.

Cy and BB both sweat-dropped. "Whoa. Um… okay," Beast Boy said, shrinking back. "Sure. Doesn't like her, gotcha."

"I am glad you have 'gotten me'," she said, crossing her arms. Beast Boy sighed, as he bent over to pick up tofu cubes from the floor.

"Anyone up for pizza?" he asked, throwing the white cubes one by one into the garbage.

"Yeah! Meatzza pizza!" Cyborg shouted, pumping his fist in the air, throwing a bit of enthusiasm into the atmosphere. The enthusiasm evaporated faster than Beast Boy could morph into an octopus (which was pretty darn fast – he had mastered that thing), leaving an empty awkward silence. Cyborg swore he could hear his voice echo in that huge, empty room. It definitely seemed bigger without the other two.
"I'll go pick some up," he muttered quietly, exiting.

"So… Starfire… what's up?" Beast Boy casually asked. He knew they were both itching to go back and see what Robin was up to.

"Oh, nothing… nothing at all…" she glanced around, making sure Cyborg had left. He soon caught glimpse of the T-car, heading in the direction of the pizza parlour.

"Shall we?" Beast Boy grinned. "He's gone…"

"Yes!" Starfire squealed. "Let us make haste in finding out what Robin is doing!" They swiftly yet quietly crept to outside the infirmary. Starfire hovered quietly outside in the hall, while Beast Boy took the form of a mouse and crept inside.

"…And Raven, I don't know what came over me. I… I can't believe this is happening… and it's all my fault… all my fault…" Star could only hear his voice, distressed and upset. It was quiet, but she could hear since the entire building was silent. The mouse could see the distraught boy caressing Raven's pale face. Beast Boy softly scurried to another corner, getting a clear view of Robin's face. A salty tear splashed down his normally brave and confident face. "Raven…" The little green mouse almost squeaked in astonishment and shock, and darted out of the room.

Starfire caught sight of the mouse running out, and watched as it attempted to gesture for them to leave. She flew, following the mouse all the way back to the living room.

"What was it you did see?" she asked as soon as they were back in the room.

"Uhh…" Beast Boy wasn't sure what to tell her. "He was just, upset. Cyborg was right, he needed time alone." He was definitely not going to tell her about the cheek caressing. And the crying… he wouldn't tell Starfire about that either. It was a pride thing.

"I'm ba-ack!" Cyborg said, prancing into the room with two steaming pizza boxes. The aroma filled the room. "I got you 'veggie-tofu surprise'…. And for me 'meaty-meat surprise'!"

"Lovely…" Beast Boy said, not touching the pizza. Starfire happily munched on the veggie-tofu pizza, but he just couldn't get the image out of his mind. A single tear, trickling down from behind the mask… The gloveless hand, tremblingly caressing her pale face… The way his voice overflowed with emotions of regret and sorrow…

"You alright?" Cyborg frowned. "You seem…"

"Shaken. Yeah."

"Er, how is the meat pizza?" Starfire interrupted.

"Meaty-licious," Cyborg said nonchalantly. "Hey, um, Star? Don't you, uhh have to… go to the bathroom or something?"

Starfire cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, uh… you have tomato sauce on your face!" Beast Boy said quickly. She squeaked and flew away in the direction of the bathroom.

"So, you were saying…" Cyborg urged him to continue.

"I think… there's more to it than Raven being like this," Beast Boy said. "I don't know. It's just… I think you might have been right."

"Right? About what?" Cyborg asked.

"I think he might have feelings for Raven," he said simply. Cyborg's jaw dropped.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, he, uh… he was really upset…" Beast Boy said. "He… was… crying," he finished, mouthing the last word.

"Ooh… It's cool, man. But… yeah, that's really not good. What about Starfire?"

"Well yeah, that's why it's so bad. Obviously Starfire likes Robin. But… if Robin likes Raven instead… doesn't like Starfire back—"

"Friends, I saw no sauce!" Starfire barged into the room. She tilted her head to the side. "What about my back?"

"It's… uh… very nice," Cyborg said, awkwardly. "You have a nice, strong back."

"Well thank you, friend Cyborg," she smiled. "I am liking your back as well." Cyborg and Beast Boy simultaneously sighed with relief. They stared at each other, exchanging looks of worry. They each grabbed another slice of pizza.

"Let us be sure to save something for Robin," Starfire said.

Cyborg nodded. "He doesn't have much left…"

"Raven. I want to help you… I know what you're doing to me, know finally the feeling I can't begin to express… I've never felt this way before." He came in closer, gently stroking her beautiful hair.

"Raven… I love you," he whispered. "I've never felt this kind of love before. Never felt true love… and I don't know how this will affect the two of us… or the Teen Titans… but I can't pretend or hide from it. I've never been so great with words, so I guess it's good you're not hearing me… but I needed to tell myself this. And I wanted you to know, however you'll take it."

He felt her feverish forehead. One of his own tears fell and stained her cloak. "Rae, this is all my fault. So I'm begging you… give your sickness to me instead," he said. "Let me take away your pain. Give me your poison, because it's my fault."

He gently kissed her soft lips, his mind screaming as his stomach lurched. It was working – he could feel Raven's sickness coursing through him. Her illness was running through his veins, tainting his body.

Raven's dark lashes fluttered open; the sweet taste of passion still lingered on her lips. "Robin…" she murmured, still having just escaped the clutches of sleep. She suddenly remembered what had taken place, vivid images flashing in her mind. "What have you done?"

END OF CHAPTER

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