Fox for Mayor!
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I don't own any SSBM character mentioned here.

Fox for Mayor
Chapter Two: Link for Mayor!

28 days until election

Ah, Link and Zelda, the newlywed honeymooners whose stay at Summers changed from a getaway weekend to their place of residence. The calm waters, the beautiful crisp clear sunset, the friendliness of the locals, paradise outside your doorstep and the profusion of stars at dark were the attraction for the couple.

But this formerly peaceful, loving couple is in a crisis. The once beautiful relationship has deteriorated into a somewhat dull one. While Zelda's interest falls, Link tries to increase it with whatever he can.

This chapter begins as the press conference just goes to air.

---

"Hi you all," said Fox in a cheery voice, talking into the microphones, "I'd just like to announce that I am a really popular, awesome mayor! However, I think I have just been in for too long, and I want to give others a go!"

Falco, who was standing beside Fox, nudged him in the shoulder.

"Uh… what I meant is that… I'm a really awesome mayor… but…"

Falco nudged Fox in the shoulder, harder.

"Okay, I'm a relatively good mayor, but I think that someone-"

Falco nudged Fox really hard in the shoulder.

"I'm a pretty popular, awesome-"

Falco pecked Fox in the chest.

"Okay, I'm just a good mayor, but-"

"DAMN IT!" screamed Falco.

Falco punched Fox in the nose, making a stream of blood gush out.

The media gasped.

"Uh… it was… uh… the tooth fairy…" said Falco nervously.

"Oh," said the media in unison, understandingly.

Falco walked up to the microphone stand.

"What Fox was meaning to say was," said Falco, "he can't handle the situation at all. Because of his new dodgy gun control laws as well as the 'you can only shoot people on Fridays' law, crime rates have gone up! He obviously can't handle the situation, and can't sympathise with any of the townspeople!"

The media applauded.

"So now, I am the temporary mayor, and the mayorship is open!" said Falco, "Any person in the town who thinks they can handle this town in crisis, should step up!"

---

"Hey Zellie," said Link, walking into the room. "You know, it's a really nice night, isn't it?"

Link, obviously trying to create a romantic mood with the candles, expensive pillows and those guys playing the violin, walked up to Zelda.

"That's nice," said Zelda, playing Frogger on her computer antisocially.

"Zellie, look around at the room," said Link, trying to create a mood, "Don't you think it's nice?"

"One more level!" said Zelda, tapping on the keyboard, "Damn, got run over!"

"Zellie," said Link, slightly annoyed, "See the romantic atmosphere around us?"

"Uh huh," said Zelda, humming along with the 'Frogger' theme song.

"There's a surprise waiting for you," said Link, slightly angrily.

"Mmm," said Zelda.

"Get off Frogger!" shouted Link.

"Okay, okay!" said Zelda defensively, "Geesh."

Link sighed.

"I'm trying to spice up our relationship!" said Link.

"Since when?" asked Zelda angrily.

"Hello?" asked Link sarcastically, "The dimly lit candles? The violin players? The room being covered in red? The Christmas-tree load of perfumes that I bought you? The multiple ads in the local newspaper that I paid to dedicate to you? The dinner with light jazz music playing in the background, which was cooked by the world's best chef, along with the several discussions that I was trying to bring across to you about spicing up our relationship?"

…

…

"Oh," said Zelda, "Well, it was very thoughtful of you, but I like simple things."

"Really? Like a poem? A song?" asked Link.

An ad for a spa that breakdances appeared on the television.

"Ooh, I want that spa!" said Zelda.

"I already bought you that," said Link, sighing.

"Oh, now that you've bought it, the product sucks," said Zelda bluntly.

"Oh, I give up!" shouted Link, turning on the television.

Link flicked to another channel.

"So now, I am the temporary mayor, and the mayorship is open!" said Falco, "Any person in the town who thinks they can handle this town in crisis, should step up!"

Link pressed the mute button on the remote control.

"Maybe I should stand for mayor!" said Link to Zelda.

"That's nice," said Zelda, back on Frogger.

Link sighed.

"You know what?" asked Zelda angrily, "I don't need you! I can be all independent! In fact, I'm going to dump you!"

"Oh, look, it's Ganondorf," lied Link unconvincingly.

Zelda shrieked and dived under the bed. "Save me, Link!"

"Slash, slash. Hiya. Pow," said Link sarcastically. "Okay, he's gone."

"Thank you sooooooo much!" said Zelda, jumping up and kissing him. Passionately. Nah, just boringly.

"You're welcome," said Link.

"You know what? I think you're brave, and you should run for mayor!" said Zelda.

"Aww, thanks," said Link.

Zelda jumped back on Frogger.

Link sighed.

The End
(Of Chapter)

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