Chapter 27 DBCA Attack!
Cameo chapter is here! Finally! Be prepared, before you start reading, go to the loo, get some chocolate, put the Phantom soundtrack on repeat and take the phone off the hook. This is a very long chapter, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I laughed myself stupid writing it.
Review Replies:
Misty: I was always Han's girl, I have a thing for the rogues. Spa house keys are with the Gerry, though I rented it out last weekend t a Star Wars reunion, and when I left, Darth, Yoda and Luke were all having shots, so if there's a hung over Jedi Master/Farm boy in there somewhere…don't blame me…and why do you think I had Darth say "Misty, I am your father"?
Lady Assassin Moonbeam: (accepts chocolates and pictures) Ta darling! You've been a reviewer right from the start so I thought you deserved a little fun!
Blaze-LoganLover: You think this is over? Oh my god No! We haven't even got to the best bit yet!
Anonymous Palliative: Fluffiness (shudders) God don't make me do more adds! I'm doing too many songfics as it is. Excuse me but this story doesn't even have a plot yet…and it wont be showing up for quite a while anyway so hold on to your hats!
BiP: Fluff will come…eventually…actually (checks prewritten stuff) quite possibly very soon! (laughs manically)
Naomipoe: I solemly swear that fluff will come and the Authoress will not interfere! 100 honest. Actually I hava an idea for the next chapter which will be quite amusing if I can ever write it. What makes you think Adriana is my alter ego? She's me! And there is a long and mostly meaningless story behind the 1 n thing
Ophicial-Phan: Take Aragorn…but I want his red shirt!
Morningside for life: Definitely! All that Glitters is the best!
Spunky-hyper-girl: Wake up! More is here! Thanks for the cookies!
Pertie: I like being strange! Don't worry next chapter gets back into character a little
Angelicflutist: Welcome to the club! We have T-shirts! I'll give you a costume when I get the time, just keep bugging me about it
Kiss of Darkness: spoken by Erik: I do not like fluff, mademoiselle, as in essence I am a twisted and reclusive being for whom music is my only release…and Adriana is exceptionally scary when she is trying to be nice
Angel of mystery: Sorry! Was completely over the scene, it wasn't fair but my brain was about to explode. Have a Gerry clone to make up for it!
Phantomofleopera: Updates are never far away!
Kooz: More is to come soon I promise!
Cap'n Meg: Aw! I feel loved!
Jen Lennon: Song words are at the top of chapter 14 I think, and in my profile too.
Reltistic: Yay! Your back! Evil mods
Wanderingchild 24: Glad to hear!
Commentary!
Authoress: So here we are lying on my bed sharing Erik's yummy cape. It's quarter past ten on Wednesday night and I thought I'd get a real start on this thing.
Erik: Ahem!
Authoress: Oh, right, sorry we are getting a start on this thing, all these ideas kept jumping into my head as comments that I couldn't add all the time, so we are posting them all here.
Erik: That and the fact you have writer's block.
Authoress: Don't rub it in…anyway, on with the story.
Erik found the scrawl on a parchment left lying around in the main room, he looked at the words in confusion, what the hell was this? Some kind of parody of Don Juan Triumphant?
Authoress: Written in five minutes flat!He shook his head in irritation, it would be something of Adriana's doing, to be sure.
Authoress: Yep, it was
Erik: Is
Authoress: Is, I stand, well, lie, corrected.
He poled his way across the lake with every intention of finding her and spending a few minutes roaring her ears off. He wasn't that annoyed,
Erik: I was bloody well infuriated!
Authoress: I apologized already! What more do you want?
Erik: Your neck, with my lasso around it.
Authoress: Uh oh…
…but it would be fun to scare her. As he wandered up to the mirror, he pulled the parchment out of his pocket and looked at it absentmindedly. Yes, it was definitely to the tune of Don Juan, he cleared his throat experimentally and began to sing.
Erik: You know damn well I would never sing that abomination!
Authoress: Well how else was I supposed to get everyone in?
Erik: If you put any effort in, you might have come up with something a little more refined.
Authoress: Well you're my muse!
Past the point of no return
No going back now
Our games of silly clothes
Are at an end
Past all thought of pink or white
On with the blackness
So raise your voice in song and sing with me...
We pledge ourselves unto the night
The utter darkness of the cloak
The sweet seduction of the swirling cape
Let not strange looks take you away
From the rich drama of the cape
And swear yourselves
Unto...
The Night...
Erik: I really, really, despise that songAuthoress: I know darling, I'm sorry, I came up with a new verse though! We're cloakers and capers and really weird phans! Capes, Cloaks! Coats, cloaks! An addicts life for me!
Erik: That's even worse.
Authoress: Meg likes it
Erik: Enough said.
He looked up as he reached the mirror, expecting it to be clear and ready for him to step through. Instead it was a swirling mass of mist, which cleared until the faces of several unfamiliar girls, all dressed in black cloaks, stood staring at him in shock.
They blinked.
He blinked back.
Then one of the shorter ones at the back jostled one at the front and muttered, "What's going on up there?" Her nudge sent the first three girls through the mirror to land at Erik's feet, where they lay, covered by their black cloaks, emblazoned with glittery letters spelling DBCA around the collars. "Oh my God, we're in," one of them whispered, still staring at Erik with wide eyes, he glared down at her coldly.
Erik: Finally I'm in character properly
Authoress: I try"Who are you, mademoiselle, if I may be so bold as to ask?" at the sound of Erik's voice, the three girls scrambled up to gaze at him adoringly. The rest of the mob waiting on the other side of the mirror, saw who their friends were talking to, and with a rush of black dramatic cloaks, burst into the dark tunnel to find themselves face to mask with the Phantom. Erik hurriedly withdrew into the shadows.
Authoress: I'm surprised you weren't screaming and running down the passage in horror at that point.
Erik: (through gritted teeth) I was trying very hard to be civil at that point
"Oh. My. God." Another of them murmured, "It's really you"
Erik: Of course it was me you twit!"OH MY GOD!"
Erik: What is with the "Oh my god"?
Authoress: I dunno, but it works.
…they all shrieked together, still staring at him, they all looked at one another, then back at him, identical insane grins crossed their faces and as one, the DBCA gathered their cloaks up to throw themselves onto their caped idol. (Or one of them, anyway).
Erik: How many are there?
Authoress: A few, I stole Hugh's Darth Vader from his Star Wars chess set he got for his birthday to add to my collection. Go me!
Erik: You are beyond strange
Authoress: Thankyou
"What's going on?" a muffled voice called, and the mirror swung open, knocking several girls against one another until they all fell like dominoes. (Please take a moment to consider that mental image…hilarious, is it not?).
Authoress: Thud! Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud!
Erik: What are you doing?
Authoress: Imagining the Domino Effect.
Erik: You've been reverting to last years Australian History
Authoress: I know.
…Adriana stood in the mirrorway,
looking around at the bodies below her in puzzlement. "Erik? Why
are the members of the DBCA here?"
Hidden in the shadows, Erik shrugged, "I don't know, they all just came through the mirror."
"Hmm…" Adriana processed this, "Did they say anything?"
"'Oh my God' is about all," he replied. Unfortunately for him, Erik's shrug had sent the black fabric of his cloak moving and every DBCA-ian was on her feet in an instant, swirling their cloaks in desire.
Erik: Effective use of words
Authoress: I like it
"Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" they shouted as one and prepared to throw themselves on Erik (and more to the point, his cloak). Erik backed away fearfully, drawing his cape around him for protection, which didn't help matters.
"Enough!"
Authoress: I LOVE doing that…a voice thundered from behind them, the girls all turned, startled, to see Adriana framed in the mirrorway, standing regally, surveying them with icy grey eyes, dressed in her black skirt and red jacket. All of the girls' heads bowed and they swept their cloaks back in a swirling salute.
Authoress: Bow down in terror to your great and powerful Queen!Erik: What universe are you living in?
"Your Majesty" they whispered, a silver crown appeared out of nowhere on Adriana's head, gleaming with black onyx as a long red trimmed cloak settled over her shoulders.
"Your Majesty?" Erik echoed, the girls all spun and looked at him adoringly, suddenly remembering their purpose, readied themselves for a charge, but Adriana, seeing the danger, quickly shouted.
"Hey, is that the fop?"
Erik: Was it really all that intelligent to arm them like that?
Authoress: In hindsight…no
Instantly every DBCA-ians hands were filled with deadly looking instruments, ranging from bows and arrows to double handed maces and they looked around menacingly.
"Sorry girls, my mistake," Adriana calmed them, stepping down. "Disarm," the weapons went back into slightly less dangerous positions. "Fall back, line up, cloaks straight." All bar Erik hurriedly obeyed each order, and Adriana walked among them, admiring her subjects. "Now," she stopped in front of a brown haired girl of seventeen with an emerald green trimmed cloak, "Nightshadesister-01, report"
Nightshadesister-01 straightened and swished her velvet green-lined cloak, "All originals of the DBCA present and accounted for, your Majesty. However, no ideas as to how we were transported here."
"That makes two of us" she heard Erik mutter behind her.
Authoress: Well you know now, anyway
One chocolate-trimmed girl stepped forward, "I have a question," she said, "How come we all appeared here in our cloaks, and with our weapons, but not with any clothes that represent our ranks?"
Erik: That is one of the most appalling ways to manipulate the conversation into what you want that I have ever read.
Authoress: Oh shut up
Adriana frowned, "Good point, Kooz" she mused, toying idly with her cape, then she grinned, "I think we could probably convince the Authoress to help us."
Not a problem the green and silver writing scrawled itself across the air.
Erik: Your writing really is appallingAuthoress: I know, tis a curse
"She's being nice today," Erik muttered to Adriana, "She was bloody awful when you became the Theatre Wraith."
Authoress: I was tiredI heard that, Erik the writing became a bit more menacing.
"I've no doubt you did," The Phantom replied glibly, "You wrote it after all."
Authoress: That was very snide of you.
Erik: Thankyou
Oh shut up, the scrawl continued good-naturedly, I'm in a good mood today, I get to play with costumes and write an extremely descriptive scene. The writing seemed to chuckle darkly. You may as well get comfortable, Monsieur Le Fantome, Your about to get treated to a fashion show…
Authoress: Dun! Dun! Dun!"Oh God," Erik muttered, leaning against the walls.
Adriana?
"Yes?"
Clap your hands twice, if you will, my dear"Certainly, do I get a costume too?"
You're already in vintage clothes"Oh come on!" the silver green script giggled in mid air
You didn't really think I'd deprive you did I?"Oh goodie" Adriana raised her arms dramatically and clapped them firmly over her blonde hair. A soundless Boom
Authoress: Things go Boom!
Erik: How much sugar did you put on that popcorn?
Authoress: A leetle too much I thinkies
…echoed through the caverns and every DBCA member found herself garbed in the clothing of her station. There were pirates, emissaries, princesses, damsels in distress clutching white lacy handkerchiefs, knights in armour and mages holding long staffs and robed in dramatic mantles of rich plush colours. But each girl retained her cape and swished it dramatically as she exclaimed over her and her companions' outfits.
"Ahem!" an insulted cough interrupted their squeals of delight and they all turned to look at the Phantom. Gone were his everyday black clothes and white shirt, and in their place stood the proud and terrifying Red Death.
Authoress: Dun-dun-dun!
Erik: Get off the Masquerade staircase before you hurt yourself
Authoress: You're no fun!
As one, all the DBCA gasped and backed behind Adriana, who faced the skull mask alone. (I understand that this is not the reaction I would expect of you upon facing Red Death…but its part of the plot, so bear with me).
Erik: What would they normally do to me?Authoress: You don't really want to know
Erik: Are you sure?
Authoress: Does the word "glomp" mean anything to you?
Erik: In what context?
Authoress: Glomp as in a mad attack where you are tackled to the ground and have thirty odd girls squealing and tearing off your clothes in as little time as possible
Erik: I am suddenly very grateful for the fact that you display an occasional spurt of intelligence.
Authoress: You're welcome.
"I didn't do it!" she protested as Erik drew his skull hilted sword with a whispery slither, all the sword aficionados in the group sighed lustily.
"Why so silent, good mamselles?" he purred,
Authoress: (shivers delightedly) I love that line
Erik: You love everything about me
Authoress: Can you blame me?
Erik: Not really…handling the blade skilfully, Adriana stepped forward, drawing her own dragon hilted sword, which had appeared along with her new outfit, she crossed her blade with Erik's. "Stop," she said quietly, then raising her voice, jumped to the end of the movie, and sang reassurance back to the DBCA "Do not think I'll let him harm you."
"Do you think this wise, Majesty?" Cap'n Meg murmured, "Crossing blades with the Phantom?" Adriana threw a grin back at the girl, "Only you would say that, Meg" she laughed, taking a defensive position, "And Erik here has been giving me lessons."
Authoress: I liked those lessons
Alright, that's enough. The writing sparkled, Sorry Erik, But I couldn't resist. Once again his lips were brushed in an invisible kiss
Erik: What is your preoccupation with kissing me? Wouldn't a spell or something work just as well?
Authoress: Where's the fun in that?
…and the Phantom was suddenly transported into his everyday wear.
Authoress: Still yummy!Erik: (looking at Authoress) still freaky
With a sigh, Adriana sheathed her sword, impulsively straightening her top. The queen of the Dramatic Black Cloak Addicts was dressed in a corset of black silk, with a central panel of crimson scarlet. Black lacing crisscrossed the front and two wide straps covered her shoulders, her arms were bare, but for a pair of ornate silver dragon bracelets, which circled her upper arms. Her legs were clad in black flaring trousers, which were in turn covered by a red overskirt that gleamed dully in the half-light. The skirt fell to the floor in jagged corners, just skimming the stones. It was anchored at the front by a black and silver buckle that allowed the front to remain an open slit, wide enough to give complete freedom of movement. A low-slung belt encircled her waist and on it hung the dragon sword sheath on the left, and a matching curved dagger on the right. Her crown was still the same smooth circlet of beaten silver that fit smoothly against her skull and pointed down in a short tip with a gleaming black onyx set at the centre. A handful of black signature feathers sculpted themselves out of her hair and trailed down her shoulders and back.
Erik: Not that you're vain at all or anything…
Authoress: Of course not!
"What was the last thing you did before you arrived at the mirror?" she asked, folding her arms and tapping one suddenly red nail against one of her dragon armbands.
"Nothing," Erik replied darkly, glaring at the DBCA "I came through the labyrinth from the house, arrived here, and this mob" he indicated the DBCA who were torn between their own costumes and the Phantom, disdainfully, "Were on the other side of the mirror."
Erik: Where were they beforehand?Authoress: Immaterial
"Uh huh," Adriana frowned, stretching her arms behind her back and leaning to one side to stretch her hamstrings, it was a habit she picked up somewhere to stretch while she thought.
Authoress: I do that actually, don't know where I got it from though…"Are you sure?"
"Of course," Erik kept a cautious eye on one violet lined girl, dressed as a warrior of darkness was slowly creeping closer to him, trying to look inconspicuous. Suddenly she made a mad leap for Erik's cloak, one hand clutching her lethal looking double handed mace to keep it from tangling in her side slit black skirt, embroidered with silver patterns. Erik leapt back with a curse and the girl fell to the floor with a crash, holding a yellow scrap of parchment on her hand. "Damn!" she swore.
Erik: Do they have to do that?
Authoress: Yes
Erik: (sigh) ask a stupid question
"AngelofMusic15!" Adriana snapped, "That was completely uncalled for!"
"Sorry, your Majesty," AngelofMusic15 squeaked fearfully, scooting herself away from Erik with a scared look as he reached inside his cloak for his lasso. "You would do well, little one, to remember that the Phantom of the Opera is not one to be toyed with. It is only by supreme restraint that I permit your Queen to stay with me, and I am not one to be cheapened by a mad attack."
Authoress: That's a long line for youErik: What are you talking about? I sang practically half the movie/musical!
Authoress: Yes, but you never spoke for much of it
AngelofMusic15 jumped up and ran behind Adriana, who turned around and glared at her, "Not only that," she added icily, "Your technique was horrendous."
Authoress: Honestly, who tackles the Phantom of the Opera?
Erik: Thankyou!
She glanced at Erik, who now stood alone in the shadows, "My apologies, Erik. Oh what now?" she snapped, turning to look at AngelofMusic15 in irritation. "He had this, Majesty," she whispered, then retreated behind her cloak, Adriana looked at the parchment, her eyebrows rose in surprise and a smirk of amusement crossed her face as she read the lines of scrawl on the parchment.
Authoress: Ha! Caught out monsieur!"Well that explains a lot," she muttered, and looked up at Erik, who was leaning over to look at the parchment.
"Oh that," he said, "I found it under one of the couches, I think I recall singing it before I arrived at the mirror."
Erik: Appalling lineAuthoress: Do you have to rub it in?
"You sang the DBCA theme-song?" Adriana demanded, "What on earth possessed you to do that?"
Erik: You're idiotic plot device didErik shrugged, "I didn't know what was going to happen, I merely found it in the lair." He glared at her, cloak swirling dramatically, "It really is an appalling parody you realise."
"I know," Adriana replied, "Still can't believe you sang it though."
Erik: Not out of any conscious choiceAuthoress: Or unconscious choice either, as I recall
Erik
folded his arms and raised an eyebrow, sending ripples through his
cloak and whispers through the DBCA. Adriana looked over her shoulder
at them and sighed, noticing their mind-numbingly blank expressions
of desire.
Authoress: For some unknown reason, I really like that phrase, I think it just sums up every phangirls reaction to seeing the Phantom for the first 3 seconds right before the charge, don't you?
Erik: Once your done praising yourself…
Authoress: Okay I'm done.
"Erik, please take off your cloak before I have to settle them again, they're dear girls but I'm afraid they get distracted easily by dark swirly things." Erik looked warily at the twenty or so girls drooling onto the cold stone floors, "Very well," he replied, sweeping his heavy black cloak off with a dark pirouette of blackness,
Authoress: "pirouette of blackness" ooh! (shivers)
Erik: Are you cold?
Authoress: Will you hug me if I say yes?
…folding it neatly over his arm. Several of the girls went pale faced and shaky, one rose-trimmed unfortunate fainting into the arms of the girl next to her.
"Oh dear," Adriana murmured, shaking her head, "Fantôme de l'opéra, uh, whichever one you are, V? Please wake up." Erik raised his eyebrows, "Do you all have such strange names?" he purred silkily, "Pretty much, yeah," an emerald green trimmed Nixieharpist put in.
Authoress: Well our real names are too boring.
Erik: Your real name is Adriana.
Authoress: Give it all away why don't you?
She was dressed as a philosopher, in a floor-length robe of fawn shot taffeta that glimmered darkly in the shadows, and stitched with the words "To play like an angel, practise like the devil!" around the hem and sweeping neckline, the same colour as her messy brown curls. A belt of shrunken fops heads dangled from her waist and what looked like a pair of ice skate num-chucks hung at her back. The Veronica Fantôme de l'opéra, dressed in an ornate gown of pale pink raw silk stirred slightly, then at the sound of Erik's voice, fainted again. "Knew I should have let her be a warrior maiden" Adriana muttered, lifting one bell sleeved hand before it hit the ground.
Authoress: Blah, blah, blah, stuff happens
Indeed, the rose lined maiden was clad in a gorgeous ball-gown with dark pink ruffles and a train that dipped almost to the ground as Erik lifted her easily and placed her swooning form on a chair that a dark glossy gold trimmed Lady Assassin Moonbeam fetched from the dressing room. Adriana propped her lethal looking longbow and feathery rapier at her side, then she snapped her fingers a few times in front of the blonde girl. Snap one, her eyes opened, snap two, the full skirt disappeared and was replaced with long rose breeches and leather boots. Snap three, she realised the Phantom was still settling her in the chair, took one look into his incredibly close golden eyes…and fainted again. "Oh I give up!" Adriana threw her hands up in disgust. Lady Assassin Moonbeam folded her arms around her long gleaming black staff, "Is it just me or is it a little dark in here?" she asked, Adriana looked around and nodded, "Would you?" she asked, stepping over, near to Erik. Lady Assassin Moonbeam grinned and held out her staff, made of polished black stone and topped with a glittering gem of amber, the size of a child's fist, she tapped it twice on the stone floors. A sudden blaze of fire erupted from the top and bathed her in glowing light. The philosopher maiden was dressed in a long gown of dark burgundy maroon, trimmed with black embroidery. A large brooch of gold and rubies pinned the front of the over-robe together, and fell away to reveal a simple gold sheath of a dress underneath. She looked around smugly, "What are you all staring at?" she asked haughtily, then giggled, leaning one arm on the passageway and holding out her fire staff to light the passage.
Authoress: If I ever have to write another costume again I think I'll scream"Why haven't you unmasked him yet, Majesty?" Madame Opera Ghost asked curiously, adjusting the sleeve of her dark green kimono, which looked suspiciously similar to Madame Giry's costume from the Bal Masque. A pair of black lacquered steel fans hung at her obi and silver pins glinted with deadly poisoned tips from her hair. Adriana shrugged carelessly, though she blushed at Erik's angry gaze. "I've been reading too many 'Love. Unmask. Happily-Ever-After' phics.
Authoress: Well I have…The whole thing got kinda repetitive after a while, besides," she glanced at Erik's white mask glowing at her from the shadows, "I'm not one to push the wrong boundaries." The DBCA's looked mystified, but Erik snorted disbelievingly.
Erik: Ahem, I know what happens after this mad attack chapter, and I highly doubt that counts as not pushing the boundaries
Authoress: Oh build a bridge
"You're not…scared of it are you?" the wind mage, Phantomsangel102 ventured cautiously, twitching her cream-trimmed cape to reveal her white Athenian robe, trimmed in a darker hue of ivory that swirled her with unseen winds.
Authoress: No"'It' has a name." Erik remarked coldly, echoes bouncing off the arched corridors, he folded his arms tightly and clenched his fists in anger (How dare they!). Adriana glanced at him apologetically.
Authoress: Sorry"Of Erik's" she stressed the name slightly, "face? No. Of the Phantom himself…" again she glanced into the shadows, "A little, yes."
Authoress: He's delicious when he's angsty
Erik: It is more than disturbing to see you typing that while I'm right beside you
Authoress: Don't read it then
Erik: If only, God knows what you'll write if I'm not there to keep you in check
Authoress: (pouts) you don't trust me
Erik: I've read your songfics, and your one shots. The fact that anyone has put that much thought into something like that is beyond scary
Authoress: Well fine then.
Erik blushed in remembrance of that night, when he had found her at his organ, and the near disaster that had almost followed as he held her pressed against the carvings, eyes wide in fear.
Authoress: Pressed against his organ…
Erik: You are overly obsessed with that pun
Authoress: Aren't I just?
She had seen his face that night, but not since, he had to wonder if she even remembered what lay beneath the white porcelain at all. Then he looked up at her and met her eyes. Grey against gold, her eyes were knowing, and understanding, but not pitying. Yes, he realised, she remembered, but she would also wait for him, already understanding what he was, and still caring for him, until he was ready to accept his face himself.
Authoress: Soul searching moment number one.
Wait…caring for him?
Well duh, the irritating little voice was back, (Don't you have anything better to do?)
Authoress: I originally wanted to put the Finding Nemo "are you my conscious?" thing there, but I couldn't work it right.
Erik: Much to my relief.
…Erik demanded silently. Hell no! The voice exclaimed, She does care, get used to the idea. Erik swallowed nervously at the voice's matter of fact statement. Every time he found himself in her presence, they usually ended up in some kind of compromising position,
Authoress: They are so not compromising! Erik: (raises his eyebrow)… Authoress: Well it's not like anyone's ever watching…Erik: (glances at readers and raises other eyebrow)…
…. and each time it was getting harder and harder for him to control his growing desire for the spicy taste of her flesh.
Authoress: Ooh! Mills and Boon moment coming!
Erik: Not if I can help it…
"How can you be scared of him?" a blood red trimmed angelofmystery scoffed slightly,
Authoress: Easy, he's tall, lives underground, has a sword and a lasso and constantly dresses in black.
Erik: And writes threatening notes
Authoress: And writes threatening notes
…returning him to the fact that there were twenty or thirty black cloaked girls drooling on his stone floors. Adriana raised her eyebrows, "Do you want to be the one to break him of the drug habit?" she asked in a sarcastic voice.
"Does this mean you do not fear me?" Erik added, throwing his voice into her ears, she gasped and spun in shock, cloak swirling open to reveal a black leather assassins garb, long-sleeved leather jacket and tight fitting pants and boots, fingerless gloves covered her palms and she looked a quiver of arrows hung over her cloak and she held a dark red mahogany bow in an able-bodied grasp. Adriana rolled her eyes in an I-told-you-so style,
Authoress: I told you so!
…looking over her brilliantly coloured and caped subjects. She glanced at one midnight blue lined girl and did a double take, "IflyNAVY!" she exclaimed, "Since when did you have Gandalf's staff?"
The girl shrugged, "eBay, besides, he has the shiny white new one now." She shivered delightedly in her new outfit, "This is great!" she grinned. IflyNAVY was a mage, she was clothed in a dress of rich dark blue velvet, drawn up under the bust in a princess line that fell away in a triangle of gold inlay that fell smoothly to the floor, accenting her glowing golden eyes. The sweeping neckline that left her shoulders bare was trimmed with gold lace and anchored velvet sleeves that clung to her arms and dropped away in long angel sleeves that trailed to the floor from her elbows. Her glossy chestnut brown hair was pinned modestly under a veil of transparent gold tissue inscribed with runes as she peeped mischievously from behind pert gold-framed glasses.
Authoress: And more costume descriptions…those things have got me wanting my own Spotlight and never wanting to see a costume again.
Suddenly a gooey sticky sickly sweet voice floated in from the door beyond the mirror, "Oh do come on Christine…you know I don't like cobwebs…they get in my hair"
Erik: That is an incredibly accurate description of his voice"All right Raoul, I'm coming" Christine's voice called to her fiancé, Erik hissed menacingly, slowly drawing out his Punjab lasso.
"Excuse me, your Majesty," Masked Grace, who was clothed in the fine plate armour of a princess knight, asked, stepping forward and swirling her magenta lined cloak, "But if I am not mistaken, was that the fop's voice we just heard?"
Authoress: Yes"It was," Erik breathed, his eyes coming alight, "I'm going to enjoy this…" his fingers tightened lovingly around his lasso.
"Oh good," Masked Grace replied, "Can we kill him?"
Erik stopped and glared down at the girl, "I beg your pardon, I do believe I have the greater right."
Erik: Precisely"Yes but you'll do it too quickly," she argued tossing her long hair back elegantly, which was braided with bands of bright white and rich magenta. Masked Grace was dressed in a gleaming silver breastplate and gauntlets, inlaid with gold. A pair of long daggers hung at her waist making brilliant silver slashes against the white ivory tunic she wore, long brown leather boots ran up to her knees and her legs were clad in stockings that matched the lining of her cloak. A crest of two crossed daggers was emblazoned on the front of her armour, several of the other girls nodded their agreement. "He needs a long, drawn out death."
"What would you suggest?" Erik purred still moving towards the mirror, another girl stepped out to meet him, "I would suggest the rack, personally." MetalMyersJason shook back the black fabric of her cloak to reveal her heavy two handed battle sword, "Then bash him with this." MetalMyersJason was in a gothic black skirt that fell to mid calf length, overlaid with fine silver chains that netted like spider webs over the rustling satin. She wore long black leather boots and a sleeveless black leather vest that zipped up to her throat in a Chinese style neckline with a wide silver zip, the tab of which was hung with a heavy pewter skull shaped like Erik's Red Death mask. Her sword sheath was strapped across her back and the black bands that crossed her front to keep it in place were emblazoned with silver cobras, rearing to strike.
"Cut his hair first," Misty spoke up, the other girls grinned evilly at the silver lined girl. Misty cut a striking figure in a black and white satin ball gown that contrasted sharply against the shadows. Cut in a strapless style and leaving flowing contours gliding smoothly over her form, a chequered mask hid her eyes and she held a lethal looking pair of silver and black dragon claws in each hand.
"Rub it with a cheese-grater," Blaze-Logan Lover, who was in a mercenaries garb put in. Her outfit was made of high quality silk and was composed of a red dress shirt and black leggings, covered by a blue embossed tunic that fell to her elbows and knees.
Authoress: Heh, cheese grater"Does that work?" the green-lined trisana asked, looking puzzled.
Authoress: Of course it does…She was a Portal Guardian of the Fanfiction Realms, and held an ebony black crossbow in a battle ready grip. She wore a dark green long-sleeved crossover tunic, anchored by a black leather belt and matching black leather trousers. The hood of the tunic was drawn up over her head and she looked around at the others as she absentmindedly cocked and uncocked the crossbow. Blaze-Logan Lover shrugged, tossing her metallic purple-lined cloak idly.
"Don't know, but I figured it would be a good way to give him split ends, and if we end up scraping off the top of his skull in the process, well…" she spread her hands helplessly, "All in the name of scientific research, wouldn't you say?"
The other DBCA-ians grinned and shuddered delightedly at the gruesome yet fascinatingly pleasurable mental image, even Erik cracked a smile, causing several of the nearby females to swoon giddily.
Erik: I do not "crack" smiles, I smirk.
Authoress: Evilly
Erik: Precisely
Authoress: And Sexily.
Erik:…that too
Authoress: And OMG He's a frickin' sexy gorgeous hot voiced awesome bodied mysterious and utterly irresistibly!
Erik: Are you feeling alright?
Authoress: Fine, why?
Erik: No reason…awesome bodied?
Authoress: What? I like the tall lean ones
Erik: Uh…right
"But my lasso is my calling card" Erik argued, "Half the fun comes from scaring all the other people unfortunate enough to find the body."
"Oh, right," murmurs went around the crowd as the DBCA and their cloaked idol debated the issues of symbols versus pain.
"You could just kill him slowly then leave a red rose on top of the body when you dump it somewhere in Paris?" asingledarkcrimsonrose suggested. She was a tall knight in a forest green lined cloak, dressed in silver chain mail and a soft leather tunic over a silky white shirt and green breeches. On the front of her tunic and on her round shield, lethally edged in razor spikes, was a rose emblem, tinted a deep scarlet, she stood with her dark brown hair swept back in a braid that trailed down her back, balanced with the grace and ease of a dancer.
"Now there's an idea," Erik sank his chin onto his lean chest as his brow furrowed in thought.
Authoress: Sigh, decisions, decisions"You would say that," an imperial purple-cloaked kissofdarkness joked, smoothing down the front of her dark guardian outfit. She wore a burnished gold breastplate and a leather kilt skirt in the style of a Roman warrior (sort of).
Erik: Sort of?
Authoress: I was getting sick of writing costume descriptions at that point.
Erik: No!
An ornate dagger hung at her waist, which she drew out and ran a whetstone over the blade with a rasping screech, everyone winced.
"Must you?" a navy lined Reltistic demanded, crossing her arms over her leather jerkin and blue undershirt, she tossed her brunette plait over her shoulders in an insulted fashion. Kissofdarkness glared back at the hunter, "I need to keep a keen blade for scalping the fop with," she declared, Reltistic rolled her eyes, "That's the good thing about having one of these," she said, pulling out a short silver cylinder, she pressed a button and a blue lightsabre beam snapped out with a hiss. She spun the beam a few times experimentally, casting strange shadows on the DBCA members' faces as the blade hummed. (Special effects guy holding a microphone to a fluorescent light, "Wow…wo-ow…wowowowowow…wow" Ahem, sorry, couldn't help myself)
Erik: ObviouslyAuthoress: Oh shut up
Uh-uh" Spunky-hyper-girl, dressed in a sparkly purple cloak, shook her head, "Nothing beats the Cookies of Doom!" she pulled a black box with the words "Touch and Die!" scrawled on in red glitter pen out of nowhere and opened it to reveal a dozen fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, still steaming and nestled temptingly in black tissue paper. Erik snorted in disbelief as the DBCA members drew closer, oohing and ahing over the biscuits, Adriana looked up and he caught her eye, with a jerk of his head he motioned for her to join him as Spunky-hyper-girl, garbed in the clothes of a 16th century duchess, complete with wimple and square-cut, silver-lined, mauve silk gown, explained the benefits of her food of death.
Erik: Food of Death?Authoress: What? I liked the idea, and she kept giving me cookies as thankyous I figured it was time to repay the favour.
"Each one can be thrown up to one hundred feet in length, causing instant death upon arrival. The chocolate chips explode on impact, and…" one blood red lined philosopher, Morningside for life, fainted backwards onto the floor, her skull hilted sword falling from her fingers with a loud clatter as her midnight black evening dress, with thigh splits and v-neck was revealed, the other girls looked at her for a moment then shrugged, "as I was saying," Spunky-hyper-girl continued, "The fumes are toxic, causing fainting and in some cases, extreme hallucination."
Authoress: Whee! Look at all the pretty colours!Erik: You scare me sometimes.
Authoress: I scare you all the time
Adriana slipped over to Erik, stepping daintily over Morningside for life, "What?" she asked quietly, she glanced down as another unfortunate, the deep grey lined xLetYourDarkerSideGiveInx, fainted dead away. "I wish they'd stop that," she sighed. Irritated, Erik moved around to block the Queen's view of her subjects, towering over her as she leaned against the wall in front of him. "I hope you were not planning on keeping these fools of yours here for any significant amount of time," he muttered angrily, his eyes glowing behind his mask, Adriana shook her head, "No, and don't you blame this on me, Erik, you were the one that sang the song."
Authoress: Ha! See I told you it was your fault!"You shouldn't have left it lying around in the first place!" he whispered harshly, as another DBCA-ian, Kudokadvakch, dressed in a gold and white mages robe and in a cloak trimmed with fire engine red, succumbed to the effects of Spunky-hyper-girl's Cookies of Doom. Adriana folded her arms and glared up at him stonily, "Whatever, we can play the blame game later, okay? But I agree, we need to get them gone."
"Fine, now how do we do that?" Erik loomed over her running one long-fingered hand through his dark hair and leaning one elbow on the wall above her,
Authoress: I like that mental image, it makes you seem more…
Erik: Human?
Authoress: I was going to say angsty actually, but yeah, I guess.
…Adriana pursed her lips thoughtfully, "Well…if they came through the mirror…couldn't we send them back the other way?" she raised her eyebrows in askance of his opinion. Erik shrugged, taking an elegant step in closer
Authoress: Erik! Your step is so…
Erik: Elegant?
…as a fourth victim of the Cookies of Doom, Bananas in Pajamas, a Siren in a red wine trimmed cloak, crashed to the floor. Her six-inch blade slipped away to rest at the second Fantome de L'Opera's, Skye, not Vanessa, who was still out cold, feet and she glanced down at it in surprise.
"Would that work?" he breathed quietly, his mask mere inches from her face as he leaned down to hear her answer.
Authoress: Ooh! The suspense!"Ahem!" Adriana and Erik jumped, the Phantom spun around and Adriana peered from beneath his arm. A smug looking cerulean blue-lined Pertie was standing there with her arms crossed, looking at them with a raised eyebrow, "I thought you said the rating wasn't going to change until after the cameo chapter?" she asked with a smirk. Adriana glared at her, as Pertie tossed her throwing stars from one hand to another with a grin.
"Note to self" the Queen muttered, "Never give advance warning to subjects on anything!" She glared at the navy dressed ninja with open irritation.
Authoress: Grr…spoil the momentErik: I beg your pardon?
Authoress: Never mind
"What rating?" Erik asked in dangerously low tones, (Oh shit) Adriana thought, colour rising on her cheeks, she was saved by having to answer and wipe the smirks off her subjects' faces by the angry screeching of a high-strung Prima Donna.
"No! No! No! I will not leave in ze middle of my season!" she screamed, storming past the corridor outside, the footsteps of two harassed managers raced after her, grovelling for all they were worth. (Grovel, grovel, beg kneel sponge crawl, sorry, Joseph and the Technicolour dreamcoat moment there).
Erik: Must you sing all through this commentary?
Authoress: Must you always ask such stupid questions?
"Please Signora! For your health, please reconsider, a holiday! The south of France! Beautiful!" Firmin exclaimed,
"All expenses paid, you wont have to lift a finger!" Andre added around his cigar, which he was crushing furiously. The trio halted outside the door and the hidden group strained to listen.
Erik: Why did you give him a cigar?
Authoress: Don't know.
"All expenses paid?" Firmin muttered incredulously to his partner.
"Well it is now" Andre whispered,
Authoress: Can't you just hear them saying that?
Erik: I bet they dock it out of my salary because they think it's my fault.
Authoress: Well its not like you dropped a scene on her or anything?
…"Please Signora, the thought of those terrible ghosts threatening you would break the hearts of your fans!"
Erik: Though it might save their ears
"No!" Carlotta whirled on her managers, stamping one gold painted foot, "No ghost and his littol slut will dissuade mi! I shall stay!"
Adriana's eyes went dead flat and she turned to Erik, "Did she just call me a slut?" she asked in a venomous tone. The Phantom nodded, his eyes burning in fury, Adriana's sword and dagger hissed out of there sheathes, "She's going down." The Opera Ghost and Theatre Wraith slinked forward, holding their weapons with dangerous familiarity.
"And where do you think you're going?" Nightshadesister-01 stepped in front of them, crossing her arms over her ice blue enamelled warrior princess armour. Her hand glinted dully in the light of Lady Assassin Moonbeam's fire staff. A fingerless leather glove with sharp well-used steel claws covered her fist. Adriana straightened, "To repay a toad," she replied, a maniacal gleam in her grey eyes.
Erik: That look is really scaryAuthoress: Thankyou
"And leave the rest of us here? I don't think so." Nightshadesister-01 glared at her queen,
"That's right" Sapphire-aria came and stood beside the green trimmed girl, "We didn't travel all this way just to stand in a dark passageway and have you shove us back out again."
Authoress: That was the original idea until Sapphire-aria bugged me for a fight scene.
Erik: I'm sure they appreciated the change
Authoress: They better damn well have
She stood firm in a sapphire cloak and black shirt, covered by a chain mail tunic and silver gauntlets, a long sword at her hip as she tossed her brown hair defiantly.
"In short," a finally awake Bananas in Pajamas in a wine red cloak and black formfitting dress glittering with sequins added in her lilting Irish accent "We're coming too."
Adriana looked around at her subjects as they all ganged up on her, blocking the way through to the Theatre. With a twitch, her left eye started its tic again. Everyone stared at her in fear and apprehension.
"Did your eye just twitch?" Erik asked, trying not to give himself over to laughter.
Authoress: Yep, it does twitch, actually its stopped now exams are over, thank god.
… She closed her eyes, "Yes." She replied in a flat monotone, "It did, excuse me a moment," she walked over to the wall beside Erik and slammed her fist into the grey stones…everyone winced.
Erik: Painful…She sighed and turned back to the members of the DBCA, "Very well," she groaned. Erik stared at her, "You cant be serious?" he exclaimed, she shrugged in reply, "Well why not? It'll give the managers a scare if nothing else."
"You have an unhealthy preoccupation with terrorising my underlings," he told her, she rolled her eyes, "And you have an unwholesome habit of causing mine to swoon," she retorted, turning to her subjects.
Erik: Oh! Such a scathing remark!
Authoress: You're just saying that because you know I like that bit
…"No killing, no maiming, with the exception of the fop only! Leave Madame Giry alone, that cane of hers is enough of a match for all of you. Don't wreck any scenes, props or costumes, with the possible exception of Carlotta's. No holding any ballet rats to ransom and no kidnapping the Prima Donna's poodle."
"Yes mum" Morningside for life, waking from her stupor replied, Adriana glared at her, "I mean it," she warned. "Na-duh" the philosopher replied sourly.
"If anyone finds the fop" Erik put in, "I have first priority." The DBCA-ians grumbled a little but finally agreed. "And no doubling back to find your way down to my lair," he added, there were several disappointed looks, "There are traps that are still operational and I will not be held responsible for your actions."
"Good point," Adriana added, with grins of pure wickedness, the DBCA turned to go.
"And stay out of Box Five!" Erik's voice thundered, he turned to Adriana "That really is a useful trick," she grinned, "I know," she answered, "You sure no Box Five? They kind of deserve a chance to at least see it."
"No." Erik replied, "And don't even think of using your royal prestige to get them up there."
Adriana sighed, "No, you outrank me on that score," she muttered, "Unfortunately."
"I do?" Erik asked, "But you're their queen."
Adriana nodded, "Sadly enough for me, any order given by the Queen of the DBCA to her subjects may be ignored or overruled by an idol if it relates directly to them."
Erik: Is this an actual logical reasoning involving the DBCA? I'm shocked
Authoress: So am I
"Ah," Erik nodded, "So they don't get a say?" Adriana flashed him a vampire grin, "Nope," she answered cheerfully, "That's why we're a monarchy rather than a democracy. If we were, I'd be out of a job in two seconds flat."
"More like one" the chocolate lined Kooz, dressed as a jester in a hat that tinkled with bells, whispered to the rose coloured Laivine Rosc-Hend, they both giggled.
Authoress: See what I mean?Adriana raised her eyebrows and shook her head, untucking a sheer black veil from her hip and slipping it against her crown. With a short sharp tug she pulled a feather from her hair. "You voice, I'll call card?" she asked Erik, he nodded, sweeping past her, together the spirits swept through the mirror and slipped over to the door. Adriana knelt at the crack that separated the door from the floor and Erik swept his shoulders around his shoulders again. "Ready?" she whispered, he nodded magnificently. "Go!" she blew a T.W. inscribed feather through the crack as Erik's voice rose and carried out from somewhere above and to the right of the diva and managers.
"I would suggest you listen to these two fools, Madame, if you wish to live."
Authoress: (shiver) I love when that happens…His voice rolled majestically through the theatre and the DBCA heard the managers and Prima Donna gasp in shock and set off at a run after the voice and the feather that spun idly at their feet. Adriana looked up at Erik admiringly, "That was good," she complimented him, "Thankyou my dear," he replied, offering a hand to help her up. They turned and Adriana beckoned to her subjects, they all tumbled through and peered around the old dressing room excitedly, "Any last words?" she asked, placing one hand on the door handle.
"Yes," Blaze-LoganLover spoke up, "May the Force be with you!"
Erik: May the what?Authoress: The Force, from Star Wars
Erik: What the hell is that?
Authoress: I think Misty just had a heart attack
"Oh please," Adriana rolled her eyes as she grinned. "Follow us until we get to the second last dressing room, then wait for my signal." Adriana and Erik slipped out and the rest of the DBCA followed silently, two-by-two, black cloaks billowing.
"Now," Adriana turned and halted the DBCA, "You have one hour, when you hear my signal, drop everything and disappear back to here. Agreed?"
"Agreed, Your Majesty," the black cloaks chorused,
"Excuse me," she ducked under Erik's arm and tossed her cloak dramatically, "Behold!" she thundered, "The Minions of the Theatre Wraith!" she stepped back against Erik with a smile and offered the stage to her friends, "Charge"
We will now take a break for intermission and to hear a word from our sponsors'
(Now is a good time to get some more chocolate and ice cream…Yes. The phic will still be here when you get back, now scoot!)
(Annoying advertising jingle tune, that sounds suspiciously like Masquerade on a polyphonic phone)
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Masks-R-Us are having a huge sale to welcome you into the world of the Phantom! Just enter our online shop of masks and disguises to find something for you we cater for all tastes!
Remember! A mask a day keeps the crazed phans away!
xXx
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Erik: Do you think they would accept my lasso? Black would really look quite deadly don't you think?
Authoress: I wouldn't bet on getting it back any time soon, and I think you really need a new one anyway.
Erik: What are you talking about? The green dye looks fine!
Authoress: Erik, that's not dye, its mould,
Price of Gaston Leroux's Phantom of the Opera (hardcover): $45
Price of experimental drug treatment for time travel: $135
Price of period costume to wear upon arrival in 1875: $300
Price of "Home Lab's for Obsessed Time Traveller Wannabes": $459
Price of bribe to be taken down into the bowels of the Opera House by Mme Giry: $1200 (current exchange rate)
Erik's face when you find him naked, bathing in the lake (and join him): Priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's a MasterCard
See, I told you it would still be here! (heh, poke) this bit will be done in short random segments, just so you know.
With a wild yell of excitement the DBCA sped past the two mysterious spectres and ran with swords swinging and arrows at the ready onto the main stage, where Carlotta had drawn a crowd of ballet rats and singers around her. The black-cloaked phanatics crashed into the performers and the result was utter chaos.
Authoress: Oh the humanity!
Erik: Where did that come from?
"Why am I suddenly reminded of the Jedi army storming the execution arena in Attack of the clones?" Adriana wondered out loud, Kudokadvakch, near to the end of the line, halted and grinned at her, "It does actually," she laughed, toying with her broadsword Adriana joined in, shoving her forward, "Aha! Prepare for the fight scene!" she cried, and then withdrew into the shadows and back to Erik. "You coming?" she asked coyly, he shook his head, "I may watch from the rafters, but I believe there will be at east one of your swooning underlings who will not heed my warning and attempt to enter the lair."
"Fair enough," Adriana shrugged, unsheathing her sword, "If we find the fop, I'll call you."
"My thanks" Erik replied briefly, his hand pressed lightly on the small of her back and he disappeared back down the dark corridor. Adriana touched light fingers to her back then shook her head, following out the way of her subjects to see if she could find the toad.
Erik: Am I that distracting?Authoress: You'd better believe it.
Chapter 30 DBCA Attack Part 2Disclaimer: Honestly…if I owned the Phantom of the Opera, don't you think I'd be spending my time actually doing unpublishable things with him, rather than writing them?
"The fops not here!" the shout went up almost immediately, (Sorry my dears, no don't look at me like that! I need him later) and the DBCA-ians groaned in disappointment. "But Carlotta still is!" the voice continued, the DBCA-ians brightened immediately, "Lead on Macduff!"
Erik: What is your obsession with Shakespeare, may I ask?
Authoress: It's fun, mainly Macbeth, I never had much use for Romeo and Juliet, too sickeningly sweet for me.
Above the stage, Cap'n Meg, trisana, angelofmystery,
xLetYourDarkerSideGiveInx and Muirgen258 had made quick use of the
ropes and ladders to reach the flies. The terrified stagehands
tripped and stumbled their way across the platforms to avoid the
dangerously armed and manically laughing black-cloaked minions of the
dreaded Theatre Wraith.
Cap'n Meg's eyes lit up as she saw the
stagehands clutching earthenware bottles of liquor. "Well, well,
well," she muttered, sneaking closer. The Commodore of the DBCA had
a petite build and a silver sword that jangled at her hip. A large
plumed hat with vibrant feathers perched on her brown hair and she
stood ready and confidant in a sleeveless knee-length burgundy tunic
made of oriental silk and emblazoned with dragons, loose gold brown
trousers were tucked into her long black boots and jade earrings and
necklace glittered in the dim light.
Suddenly the Theatre Wraith dropped down from the rafters above and turned her around. "No Meg."
"But…"
"No."
"Just one little…"
Erik: That girl needs help.
Authoress: Tell me about it, you should see the reviews she writes.
"No!" Adriana pushed her off into the fray, "Now go chase a manager or something."
"Feisty, isn't she?" Masked Grace muttered, coming up beside the DBCA queen, as she inspected her daggers for nicks. Adriana laughed, glancing at her princess knight friend,
"Having fun?" she asked, checking her veil was still in place.
"Of course" Masked Grace replied, "I think I saw Firmin barricading himself into his office a little while ago, care to come join me in convincing him to come out?"
"Ooh! Sounds like fun!" Adriana exclaimed, the two whirled and ran off the platforms, as an unseen Erik, hovering above,
Authoress: Erik? That's not you being protective is it?
Erik: No.
…looked down with a growing apprehension as they participated gaily in what is known to the entire world as "girl talk". Clothes (infinitely more interesting now that there was no modern tasteless fashion to be seen), weaponry, (lightsabres versus Cookies of Doom) and of course, Erik, the important stuff in life.
Erik: Nice to know I am considered so vital to your existence
Authoress: Whatever makes you happy
From his vantage point, Erik sighed. She would want to leave, the appearance of her companions, strange as they were, would surely remind her of her former life and friends. He wondered why fate tormented him so as he fingered his lasso. He had already lost Christine, his precious Angel. Why offer him a girl who brought life back into his meaningless existence, only to whisk her away again? He sighed a second time and shook his masked head in frustration. Why?
Authoress: Emotional soul searching moment number 2xXx
The black and white paradox that was xLetYourDarkerSideGiveInx gave an unholy screech, as she unleashed her Frisbee of Death, (okay, I couldn't remember the name for Xena's spinny thingy, but its one of those).
Erik: Why didn't you look it up?
Authoress: I'm lazy, what the hell do you want?
…The half black half white metal plate sheared through the top of Carlotta's headdress and spun safely back to her hand. Her arms were uncovered but vast swathes of cloth were pinned from her shoulder to her wrists and a loose fitting robe was sashed across her body. The sheet at her right wrist was a blinding white, that travelled across to her shoulder, bellow the cuff, splatters of black began to appear on the fabric, streaking darker and longer until the bottom of the left wing and the heavy hem that swirled around her feet was pitch black. Carlotta gaped as the stagehands clapped and Madame Opera Ghost, angelofmystery, kissofdarkness and the two managers held up signs with numbers
"8…"
"9 ½…"
"9…"
"10…"
"10…"
Erik: I would have given her a 3
Authoress: What for?
Erik: She missed her head.
Authoress: Oh, fair point.
xLetYourDarkerSideGiveInx turned and gave a flourishing bow to her audience as a hairless Carlotta suddenly heard the creaking of the set above her head and screamed. Gathering up her skirts, she ran for her life as the Hannibal playbill, rather harmless, apart from the eerily lifelike picture of Carlotta painted on it, dropped to the stage with a thunk!
"I've always wanted to do that," Nixieharpist commented to Phantomsangel102 who was balancing on the platforms beside her. "Tell me about it" the cream-lined windstress replied, pausing a moment to admire her Jack Sparrow boots, she had taken the opportunity to raid the costumes department and was now a pirate in brown and grey leather and a white shirt. "Oh look! There's asingledarkcrimsonrose waving, d'you think she found the way into Carlotta's dressing room yet?"
"Only one way to find out," Nixieharpist replied, pausing a moment to drop a shrunken fop head onto Sorelli, who screamed and ran away in horror. "Let's go!"
Erik: What on earth is with the shrunken fop heads?
Authoress: Don't ask me, she was the one that requested them, I'm a little more worried about the ice skate numbchuks personally.
xXx
At that very moment, an immaculately haired Raoul de Chagny walked back into the Opera Populaire, "I'm sorry gentlemen, I appear to have forgotten my gloves" he said, noting vaguely that there were more people on stage than there had been a scant half hour ago. He looked around when his managers did not immediately appear, "Monsieur's?"
Every DBCA-ian froze at the sound of his foppy voice, and turned slowly to glare death at the oblivious Vitcomte.
"Well, well, well," Reltistic muttered, "What have we here?"
Raoul was still looking around, eyes as empty as if there was a hole in the back of his head. The same dreamy look was still on his face when he was spear tackled by kissofdarkness and Lady Assassin Moonbeam.
"What are you doi- EEEEKKK!" he screamed, "You messed up my hair!"
"Did we?" Kooz asked absently, inspecting the depressingly girlish scarf around his neck. She reached down and gave it an experimental yank, Raoul's face went bright purple. "Cool!" she grinned.
"No!" Phantomchild199 said, releasing the unfortunate victim, "We want him alive."
"What's? Oh!" Blaze-LoganLover wandered over and her eyes lit up, "Anyone got a cheese grater?"
The phans looked around and patted their pockets, "Hmm…no."
"Damn," Blaze looked disappointed.
"I have this?" Nightshadesister-01 offered, holding up her gloved hand, Blaze shrugged, "Good enough"
"No! Wait! What are you doing?" Raoul shrieked, as the warrior princess drew closer, "Nooooo!" Thunk! A clawed fist landed on the side of his head, knocking him out. "Nice job" Kudokadvakch admired, "Thankyou" she replied with a smirk.
"What do we do with him now?" Masked Grace asked, looking rather smug after her escapade in the managers' office.
"Disembowel him?" Spunky-hyper-girl asked, taking the opportunity to wedge a Cookie of Doom between the fop's teeth.
"Drop him from the top of Apollo's Lyre" Sapphire-aria grinned evilly.
Erik: I liked that idea"Drop the chandelier on him!" Skye bounced up and down in her lavender gypsy skirt and blue shirt, frilled and ruffled, with big pearl buttons. A still groggy Vanessa leaned on her shoulder, peering interestedly at the proceedings.
"Already been done" MetalMyersJason shrugged, "We need something new,"
"Something disastrous" Morningside for life added, sharpening her sword on kissofdarkness's whetstone.
"Well…" Kissofdarkness said thoughtfully, "We could scalp him, y'know, even keep a lock of hair as a souvenir each."
"I like that idea" Madame Opera Ghost enthused.
"Shouldn't we call the Phantom though?" Bananas in Pajamas asked, "He did kinda demand first priority"
"He can have him once we're done," Cap'n Meg brushed the idea off disdainfully,
"You senseless fools are worse than my managers." Erik's voice seethed in each of their ears, they all jumped and looked around guiltily.
Erik: Correct characterization for once
Authoress: Hey! Be nice.
"Uh, don't think he's very impressed with that plan Meg," IflyNAVY whispered. Erik's voice dripped with sarcasm, "Of course I'm impressed, did I not explicitly instruct that if the fop was found, he was to be brought to me? Or are you so simpleminded that a basic instruction was beyond your limited grasp?"
Authoress: Now you're just being all O.G.-ish
Erik: I enjoyed that line!
"Now that was just uncalled for" xLetYourDarkerSideGiveInx mumbled under her breath, "Does this mean you want us to drag him down to the lair for you?"
Erik considered telling them yes, it would be delightful to finally rid himself of the obnoxious prat that had stolen away his Christine. But his Angel's face swam in front of his vision, and try as he might, the image would not disappear. He shook his head in disgust, he was going soft, but he could not force himself to tear away Christine's support and family again. "No" he growled out finally, "Do with him as you wish, but leave him relatively intact, I will not deprive my Angel again."
Authoress: I cant decide whether that counts as an emotional soul searching moment or not, I think it does. Number 3! Yay!
"Does his mind count? Or, what there is of it anyway?"
Authoress: He has a mind?
…Nixieharpist asked pleasantly.
"Hmm…no, feel free" From the grins that had just appeared on the faces of the DBCA, he had to wonder if he wasn't going soft, but in actual fact, running the other way entirely.
Authoress: Running the other way entirely"Oh goodie!" Nightshadesister-01 giggled, running a hand over her glove. Unseen in the shadows, Erik allowed a smile to twitch on his lips, "Nice hit, by the way" he complimented her privately, she grinned so hard the other's thought her face might split. Erik broadened his voice until all the members could hear him, "Remember, do not permanently harm him…if you do,"
"A disaster beyond your imagination will occur" the DBCA finished Erik scowled and slipped away.
"I wanted to hear him say that," Pertie complained.
"Anyway," Misty interrupted, "Onto more devious plans" the DBCA-ians grinned and turned back to their victim.
xXx
Erik walked slowly back to the dressing room with his head bowed, he reached the door and slipped through, ushering two determined phangirls, Laivine Rosc-Hend and AngelofMusic15 out firmly, then slipped though the mirror to bury his mask in his hands in the dark. Lord knew how he was going to get out of this one. Allowing the thirty odd girls to stay was out of the question. But if they left, then he lost Adriana too, and that thought was even more unbearable than the first.
Authoress: Aw…you love me
Erik: Did I say that?
He ripped off his mask and scrubbed a furious hand over his face. How could he ask her to stay with him like this? And even if he did, what could he expect of himself, if she was to continue living with him?
Authoress: Wouldn't you all just love to know?
…Of their own accord, his lips moved soundlessly, shaping words and tunes until the faint whisperings of a song slipped through his lips…
"I've made me a fortune
That fortune made ten
Been headlined
And profiled
Again and again
But something was missing
I never quite knew
That something was some one
But who?" his voice grew stronger and echoed down the corridors with a lonely, melancholy sound.
"Who could that someone be?
How could she make it known?
Who could need me for me?
Need me for me alone?"
Authoress: Your voice is so perfect for that song…
His voice trailed off into quiet sobs and he stared at the mask in his hands. A soft light reflected on the white shape and he looked up in shock as the mirror misted and the clouds were lost in a whirlwind that gradually faded away to an image he had never beheld in all his long and desolate years…
Authoress: Wow! An entire Emotional soul searching scene! Number 4!
xXx
Meanwhile…back at the Fop…
(Hrmph! Am very much over this scene at the moment. I can write exceptional original torture scenes, I have one that makes my friends sick just to read it, but its getting too much, so if you are not mentioned in person, my apologies –Erik hugs unfortunates in commiseration- I'll do my best, but This must needs be over and done with)
Erik: Do I have to hug them?
Authoress: Yes
Erik: Very well (gingerly hugs unmentioned cameos…goes down with a shout of dismay as he is mobbed)
Authoress: Hmm…probably should have kept them on their leads.
A scared looking Sapphire-aria was gingerly holding a lock of the fop's hair, pinched between two fingers as a disgusted Spunky-hyper-girl propped the unconscious Vitcome up, trying not to gag at his cloying perfume.
"Just hold him steady," IflyNAVY warned, uncoiling her whip and giving it an experimental crack.
"Are you sure you know what your doing?" Sapphire-aria asked, looking scared, IflyNAVY rolled her eyes, "Do I look like I don't have any idea?" she demanded, accidentally cracking a candle off an elaborate candelabra, "Oops."
"Do you want an honest answer to that?" Misty asked, looking apprehensively at the now halved candle, IflyNAVY shrugged, "The truth is never pure and simple," she said philosophically, "Now hold him straight."
The midnight blue lined mage drew back her whip, the other DBCA-ians all covered their eyes.
Crack!
"What did I tell you?" IflyNAVY asked smugly, the DBCA peered from behind their fingers. A loose lock of over pampered brown hair dangled limply in Sapphire-aria's fingers. And a pale-faced Vitcome was slumped against Spunky-hyper-girl, twitching in his traumatised state. His eyelashes fluttered open and he peered around in fear. "Wha-?" he reached a hand out to feel his hair and screamed as he found the newly whipped bald patch. "Noooooooooooooooooo!" He shrieked in agony, Spunky-hyper-girl shoved him away and he landed chin first on the marble foyer floor, causing the Cookie of Doom still wedged between his teeth to crack in his mouth. A little "Bang!" shout out from between his pouty lips and a puff of purple smoke glittered upwards as he slumped over again, successfully unconscious.
Authoress: Really over this scene, I had to fight writer's block every step of the way
"That looked like fun," Kudokadvakch grinned, stepping to the front, "IflyNavy, you're turn to hold him," she unsheathed her sword, and levelled it at the little curl that grew behind his ear. Carefully aiming her sword, she drew a slow trail up behind his ear, the freshly trimmed strands fell to the floor, joined by a few drops of blood.
"Hmm…but a little deep there, I think," she commented unapologetically, "Oh well," she kicked the hair away and sheathed her sword. She scooped the hair up and tied a little bundle with it, tucking it into a sleeve. "My new good luck charm," she said proudly.
Lady Assassin Moonbeam walked up, carefully surveying the hapless victim of torture, "Hurry up already," Nixieharpist moaned, "Just grab a chunk and slice!"
"But I don't want a lock of his hair," Lady Assassin Moonbeam protested, the others all turned and stared at her. She grinned, tapping the butt of her staff on the floor, allowing the flames to blossom upwards. With an evil chuckle she swept the fire across Raoul's face, leaving two charred black caterpillars in place of eyebrows, smoking over his now non-existent eyelashes. "I wanted to do that."
"Oh now that was just too good to be true," asingledarkcrimsonrose admired, skipping up to inspect her chosen lock of hair, "My turn!" she pulled a huge broadsword from its scabbard and with a seemingly delicate flick of her wrist, neatly snipped off a tress from behind the fop's other ear.
"Well that was depressingly anticlimactic," she murmured, taking up her prize, the other's looked at her quizzically and she shrugged, "Well I figured a few mountains might fall down, the Eiffel Tower would do the limbo, the world would end, something like that." She looked down at the Vitcomte in disgust, "Guess you're not as important as you think Raoul." Taking care to step on his fingers, she picked up a few strands of his hair and looked at Cap'n Meg, "You ready?"
"Ooh yeah!" Meg exclaimed, drawing her sword, humming the Cloak Song she walked around the fop, scrutinising him from each angle, then reached out and sliced a random piece of hair from his head.
"Good news everybody!" Blaze-LoganLover announced, running up with something silvery clutched in her hand, "I found a cheese grater!"
"You wait you're turn!" Sapphire-aria stepped out in front. With a whirling of her blade she sliced off a layer of hair and with a few quick slashes, cut his shirt to ribbons and let the silk shirt slide off his torso.
"He looks like a soapie star," Ophicial-Phan noted randomly.
"Anyway!" Blaze jumped in, holding the cheese grater aloft, "Prepare to meet thy maker Fop!" With a triumphant scrape she ran the silvery instrument over his hair as everyone winced…
It did nothing.
Blaze stared at her cheese grater for a moment, then scrubbed furiously at the Fops hair, but she only managed to reduce the shininess a little. "It's…too…bright…" she gasped, stumbling away.
Erik: Now this scene's just getting weird
Authoress: Tell me about it
"Uh…Blaze?" Madame Opera Ghost spoke up, "It might help if you turn it around the right way." Blaze looked at her cheese grater, "Oh" she went very red, then shuffled back over to the fop. "Prepare to meet thy maker Fop!" she cried, slashing down again…
Several strands of hair floated down to the floor, joined with a soggy splat of disconnected scalp that was suddenly not attached to Raoul's head. Everyone stared. "Ew…gross." Harako-Fushi put in, she aimed her fire staff at the bloody piece of scalp and reduced it to a charred mass.
Cocking her crossbow, trisana motioned for Blaze to hold a piece of the Fop's hair straight up, his head bobbed and jerked like a Wobbly-Headed doll. She sighted carefully and took aim. Blaze squeezed her eyes shut, unable to watch.
"Oops," trisana said after a moment, "Missed." It was true, there was now a rather noticeable, bloody chunk missing from the de Chagny's nose.
"Oh," Reltistic looked at the red drops running down to the floor, "He looks like Michael Jackson." The other DBCA-ians cocked their heads, "Sounds like him too, I've noticed, Morningside for life noted.
Misty poked at the motionless Vitcomte with one of her daggers, "Such a terrible waste of a pair of broad shoulders," she sighed, then, unable to resist, poked him again. The skin she poked on one of his defined muscles hissed slightly and went down like a whoopee cushion. "Hsssssssssssssprblprble" Misty looked from her dragon daggers, gleaming with poison, to the suddenly flabby skin in shock. "Can these things do that?" she asked.
They can now! The Authoress was back, and very definitely enjoying herself.
"Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy?" Misty drew the word out with relish, with tender care she set about pierced each muscle on his torso, creating a musical chorus of hissings as the Vitcomte was reduced to a saggy skinned stick. Unfortunately, the reducing of his muscles to a stick sized (but not the lean tall sexy skeletal type that Erik is) woke Raoul from his Cookies of Doom induced stupor and he sat bolt upright screaming…
and screaming…
and screaming…
and screaming…
Erik: Does he ever shut up?
Authoress: Probably not.
Finally, Nixieharpist grabbed up the charred remains of his scalp and shoved it into the Vitcomte's lipglossed mouth. His eyes bulged and his fingers started doing the crazy happy robot dance.
Erik: What is with that dance?
Authoress: It's from the start of our Jazz, its fun to do when your in a good mood
"Stop." Pertie commanded, he froze.
"Kneel" Kooz added, he kneeled.
"Muirgen258? Grab his hair would you?" MetalMyersJason asked, sliding her massive broadsword over her shoulder.
"With pleasure" she replied, taking out a dagger to snip at a lock, unfortunately, the fop moved and she only ended up with half a tress.
MetalMyersJason raised her heavy sword, Raoul kneeled, trembling in fear as the blade came swishing down through the heavy air.
Shing!The final lock was shorn from his scalp as Raoul fainted dead away to the black cloaked cheers of the women around him.
Authoress: Huzzah!xXx
Adriana heard the gonging of the grandfather clock in Andre's office. "Times up" she muttered, scissoring her legs up and jumped off Carlotta's horrible pink dressing table, looking around the delightful mess she had made with glee. She snatched up another of the divine Belgian chocolates and slipped out the door, running straight into Erik.
"Oh! Hello there?" she smiled up at him, "I thought you weren't
coming."
In reply, Erik grabbed her arm and tugged her into a
small alcove, "There's something wrong with the mirror," he
muttered, even worried, his voice still sounded beautiful.
"Such as what?" she asked, still giddy with sugar, and having (dare we say it) a rather Phangirly moment.
Authoress: Not good!
"Such as I was fending off a few of your so called "friends" from the dressing room when the mist on the mirror started spinning out of control and I was presented with an image of a tall, well dressed bald man and a little red headed girl of ten."
"Were you singing again?" Adriana frowned, the box of caramel centred chocolates wearing off in the presence of Erik's voice.
"I hummed a few bars of the song you tried to teach me," he replied, drawing her further back into the shadows as a group of stagehands ran past, pursued by a manically laughing Bananas in Pajamas and a green lined trisana. Adriana grinned,
"Ha! See! I told you it was the music!" she laughed behind her veil, at his glare she stopped, though she kept the smirk on her face, Erik rolled his eyes. "I kicked a rat through," he answered the next question before she got the chance to ask it. (Man! Those Belgian chocolates are potent! I'm having a Mary Sue meltdown! Bad! Gotta snap out of it! Fast!)
Erik: If you turn into a Mary Sue I wont talk to you for a month
"And?…" Adriana asked, secretly jabbing her dagger into her finger too keep her thoughts in line, Erik shrugged idly.
"It went through easily, caused quite a fuss I understand," a smile flickered on his deformed lips, "It was even kind enough to kick up a few of the music sheets on the piano and send them through the mirror for me, so I now have the accompaniment to that song." He glared at her for a moment, "You realise you're notes were completely wrong for the entire second verse?" Adriana rolled her eyes elegantly at his remark.
"Oh get over it," she admonished "it was six years ago and I never sang it, how did you expect me to know?"
Authoress: My daddy sang it instead.
"You could have had the grace to try," Erik reminded her, she shrugged, "Well at least that sorts out how to get the girls home." She changed the subject before he started on another of his musical rants, "Shall I assemble the troops?"
Erik nodded wordlessly in reply, she reached up and patted the small section of cheek that was visible around his mask, "Thankyou." She grinned, and motioned to the platform above them, "Care to give a girl a boost?"
Erik: You could have climbed up yourself
Authoress: I'm not that tall.
Erik: Tall enough surely
Authoress: Yeah, well, I'm equal with about your ear up one end, and I'm pointing my feet at the other and I don't even reach your ankles.
Erik: How tall are you?
Authoress: about 5'6"
Erik: As if!
Authoress: Fine five' five"
Erik: How tall in centimeters?
Authoress: Um…not as tall as you
Erik: Obviously…Ow! What the hell did you kick me for?
Authoress: My foot cramped up from pointing
"Very well," Erik knelt down on one knee and laced his long fingers together into a cup for her to stand on. She placed one long white foot into his hands and with a heave he pushed her up to the lowest swinging platform. "Why thankyou monsieur," she giggled, reaching down a hand to invite him up, "Wilt thou not accompany myself on this arduous task?"
Erik stood and reached out a long hand to hers briefly, just skimming her fingers, then withdrew his hand, "No," he murmured quietly, withdrawing into the shadows.
Authoress: Ooh, and another emotional moment! Is this three or four?
Erik: Five, how do you manage to keep fitting them all in the stupidest and strangest chapter of your entire series?
Authoress: Tis a gift
"Erik?" Adriana felt lost, "Why not?" her wide eyes searched the shadows for him, all grey in their confusion. Erik scowled, (Screw Fate)
Authoress: Ooh! Evil Erik
Erik: Don't pretend you don't love it
…he thought, and leapt easily up beside her, "Do you promise to keep your friends in check?" he pretended to growl, she nodded, "Very well," he offered her a silent black sleeve, she slipped a dragoned arm through and he led her to the top platform, "Call them." He released her and stepped against the back of the platform, "Who have they got down there?" she asked, leaning over the rope barrier to peer at the group of DBCA-ians clustered around an inanimate object with glee. Erik shrugged uneasily, "Their precious Vitcomte still, I presume."
"You mean they caught the fop and no one told me?" she asked incredulously,
Authoress: I feel so neglected!
Erik: You wrote it!
Authoress: That's beside the point"It would seem that way, yes," he replied, "I told them they could have him, your claw gloved friend delivered quite a heavy blow to his air filled skull last time I looked."
"Oh, go Nightshade!" she grinned, "You ready?"
"No,"
"Good," she opened her mouth and drew in a breath,
"Run Away!" Adriana yelled, doing her best Monty Python imitation.
"That's your signal?" Erik asked incredulously, she shrugged, "Whatever works"
"You could have at least come up with something a little more dramatic." He grumbled,
Authoress: Weren't you paying attention when I made you watch Holy Grail?
Erik: Should I have?
Authoress: I give up!
…she rolled her eyes, "Remind me to make you watch Quest for the Holy Grail with me some time,"
"Watch what?"
She sighed at his ignorance,
Authoress: Ignorant Phantom
Erik: Alto Authoress who cant sing Christine's parts
Authoress: That's not funny!
"Never mind, we better get down before they do."
xXx
Adriana and Erik stood patiently in the doorway as the phans quickly dumped the Vicomte in a handy puddle outside the Opera House, rolling him down the stairs none to gently to land his now bald head on the grey cobblestones. Masked Grace stood ponderingly over him for a moment, the cut half of Carlotta's headpiece held debatingly in her hand. (To wig? Or not to wig?) She thought, (That is the question)
Erik: Again with the Shakespeare?
Authoress: Ooh yeah
…finally she shrugged, and scrubbed the feathers and horsehair in a puddle of muck and dropped it with a satisfying squelch onto the fops unturned head. Humming Past the Point of No Return she reascended the Opera House stairs and ran down to the dressing room to catch up with the others.
"Did you have fun?" Adriana greeted the phans with a smile as Erik brooded in agonised indecision behind her. The grins on her subjects faces told all, "I'm glad."
Behind her, Erik laid a hand on her shoulders, pressing gently to let her know he desired her attention, "Yes?" she turned, and he beckoned her into the shadows as the DBCA burst into shrieks over their escapade.
"Did you see his face? Bright purple I tell you!"
"That's what you get for dressing as a fop!"
"And his squeal! I nearly died!"
"A notion just occurred to me," Erik said quietly, "What songs will we need to use to send them home?"
Authoress: You could have called me into the shadows for something more interesting than that!
"Oh gods!" Adriana's hands flew to her veil to unpin the black gauze, "I hadn't thought of that!"
"Gods?" Erik questioned, she shrugged, "I always liked saying it better, don't know why."
"Hmm…would that song of yours work?" he frowned,
"The Cloak song? It might…I think," she trailed off as a thought crossed her mind, she glanced at the girls still giggling and arguing over the best moment of fop torture, a wicked grin crossed her face. "Actually," she purred, "I have a better idea…"
"What?" Erik asked flatly, she had that gleam back in her eyes again, she gave a wicked laugh, "You know how when you sang Something Was Missing, you opened the window to Annie?" she drawled deliberately, savouring each word.
Authoress: Savour"Yes…" Erik hissed, his apprehension growing, Adriana looked sneakily over her shoulder at the DBCA and leaned in closer to Erik. "Well," she whispered conspiratorially, "Listen to this…"
Authoress: Ooh! A conspiracy!Erik: Have you been watching Babylon 5 again?
xXx
"The best moment was when I hit him!" Nightshadesister-01 proclaimed,
"No way!" MetalMyersJason exclaimed, "When he passed out took the cake!"
"Uh-uh!" Lady Assassin Moonbeam shook her head, "When I singed of his eyebrows was the top!"
"I liked when I shredded his shirt" Sapphire-aria bragged proudly.
"Oh go jump in a lake," a purple trimmed Muirgen258 muttered sourly, still sore about only cutting half of the fops hair when he moved, she tugged at the vest of her leather scout uniform, the brown suede fit snugly on her tall figure and she tossed her unlit light sabre from hand to hand idly. Her eyes gleamed darkly from behind silver glasses, her vest and trousers were imprinted with images of griffins and each of her dark leather gauntlets had another griffin, wings outstretched and screaming silently tattooed onto it.
"Mm, good idea," Adriana put in absentmindedly, still deep in discussion with Erik, she waved a hand down the passageway, "Lake's off back there a ways." Sapphire-aria's eyes lit up and she took a step down into the blackness. Just as absentmindedly as the queen, Erik put out a hand, "Stay," he commanded, trading an amused glance with Adriana, she nodded, "Settled then?" she asked as the blue trimmed warrior maiden slunk back sulkily to the rest of the DBCA. "Done," Erik agreed, stepping back, Adriana turned to her loyal subjects,
"My dearest darlings," she announced cheerfully, "We've figured out how to send you home!"
Authoress: Excuse me a moment
Erik: Where are you going?
Authoress: This CD doesn't have skippable tracks, and this song makes me sick.
Erik: All I ask of you?
Authoress: London Cast Edition, only 1 week till my special edition one arrives!
Erik: I was wondering why that wasn't my voice, who was the other one then?
Authoress: Gerald Butler, sexy Gerry
Erik: I'm not going to ask
"What? Wait no way! No!" several cries of anguish arose from the collected ranks of the DBCA. The queen raised her hands for silence and Erik drew himself up proudly, glaring around with dark arrogance until the girls fell silent, either from politeness or they were dumbstruck with desire (I'm inclined to think the latter) "Home probably isn't the right words," she grinned, "More, any alternate reality with a DBCA idol of your choice."
"How the hell are you going to manage that?" MetalMyersJason demanded, Adriana grinned and motioned to the rose-dressed maiden of court and her gypsy partner in crime.
"Veronica Fantome de l'Opera, the Batman theme if you will," she motioned to the lady of court, Veronica blushed and pulled up Skye with her, angelofmystery followed. "On three?" Skye asked, Veronica nodded, "One…two…three…" the shared personalities jumped with gusto into the song.
Erik: The Computer is mine! My dear Authoress is sitting on the floor trying to fast forward on her CD player, she will never gain control again! (Authoress: I heard that!)
"Batman! Dananananananana Batman! Dananananananana Batman! Batman! Batman!"
"You call that a theme song?" Erik muttered in disgust, Adriana elbowed him, "Hush!" she whispered.
Erik: Stupid song, so my dear readers, are you enjoying yourselves thus far? There is a scarily large amount of phiction to come so I hope you are prepared.
Authoress: I'm back! Erik get your hands off my keyboard.
Erik: Make me…what the hell are you doing!
Authoress: Well seeing as you won't share, I'm snuggling under your arm so I can type too.
Erik: Oh…
The mirror swirled away with cloudy mist that hovered for a moment with the bat silhouette, then cleared to reveal a cloaked gargoyle perched on a Gotham spire, brooding darkly on the city below. Adriana dropped a deep, extravagant curtsey, "Farewell, my dearests," she kissed Skye, Veronica and angelofmystery, on their cheeks and ushered them through the mirrorway and onto the slippery Gotham rooftop.
"Um…hello?" Skye ventured nervously, the justice dealer turned to stare at the ornately dressed fans standing before him in the drizzling rain. His eyes widened in shock as he looked past them at the speeding something casting glowing lights and shadows onto the girls shoulders.
Erik: The fact that you're snuggled under my arm is going to cause extreme amounts of jealousy between your reviewers.
Authoress: And this should matter to me because?…
"Move!" he shouted, leaping over and grabbing the two Fantome de l'Opera's by the waist with one arm and angelofmystery with the other, he vaulted off the roof, wings charging and snapping open to glide into the night as a rocket sped past with a scream of tortured air. And in the sudden silence, a single solitary giggle echoed back to the corridor.
"Wow" the DBCA, now minus three of its members, chorused as the mirror was swept back into sheer clouds.
Authoress: Let's do that again!
"Now that is a cape!" Lady Assassin Moonbeam said admiringly.
"Yah huh" Cap'n Meg added, drooling on the stone floor.
"Now do you understand?" Adriana smiled, "Now pick a certain favourite from the idol list, and we can get started."
Erik: Blah, blah, blah, waiting to get them all gone…
Authoress: Why? What did you have planned?
Erik: Wouldn't you like to know…
"So we have to sing our way out of here?" Nixieharpist asked, Adriana nodded, "But what if he doesn't have a themesong with words?"
"Meh, we'll think of something," Adriana dismissed the problem, "Actually, come to think of it, we can just do it in "Dums" and "Das" wont be hard at all." She raised her arms and pointed dramatically. "Now, Altos to the left, Sopranos on the right."
One pale green trimmed princess raised her hand, flicking her whip idly. She stood ready for action in a bustled day dress and glittering diamond tiara, the dress was edged in gold trimmings and lace dripped from her sweeping sleeves. "What if we don't know what we are?" she asked, snapping the whip into a neat coil to hang on her gold chain belt, Adriana looked questioningly at Erik who shook his head violently.
"I will not," he stated, at her crestfallen look he sighed. "Tell me, my dear," he swept over to the princess and lifting her hand, "What is your name?"
"Phantomchild199" she breathed as Erik brushed his lips over her fingers, eyes rolling back in her head in ecstasy. "Why Erik, one hundred and ninety nine?" Adriana mocked, "You have been busy."
Authoress: That's what you get when you get drunk at a phangirl party
Erik: I was not drunk! I was merely slightly intoxicatedAuthoress: Merely intoxicated? You were balanced on the balcony railing singing Point of No Return!
Erik: I was?…No wait! That was for truth or dare
Authoress: I rest my case
The Phantom snorted, turning his attention to Phantomchild199, "Enlighten me, my unknown daughter, when torturing the fop, do you squeal with glee or laugh darkly?"
"Laugh darkly," the princess replied as Adriana gave an "Ah," of understanding.
"Alto," Erik ushered her over to the small group of decidedly envious looking DBCA-ians who already knew their musical range.
"Alright," Adriana raised her arms, brandishing her rapier dramatically, "You all know the tune. Harry Potter! Altos begin!"
"Da dum da da dum da dum, dum, da da da dum da dum." The Altos chorused "Sopranos!"
"Da dum da dum da du da dum" the Sopranos joined in sweetly, overlapping the Altos broad low range. "Da da da dum da dum."
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" one soprano improvised, taking the place of the trilling violins, Adriana nodded her approval.
Erik stared on amazement as the group of black-cloaked DBCA created a symphonic chorus of the main theme of Harry Potter composed completely out of "Da's Dee's and Dum's" (Now come on, how cool would that really be?)
Authoress: Really very cool I thinkThe mirror swirled violently, misty clouds chasing one another around the frame until a doorway into the Great Hall appeared, full of students, teachers and ghosts. Judging by the sound of the vicious whispers of "Sirius Black!" hissing around the tables, they had evidently arrived right on time for Prisoner of Azkaban. The ceiling above flashed with lightning and ominous clouds, purple and heavy with rain.
"Well what are you waiting for?" Adriana asked, "Whoever brought a ticket to Harry Potter and your own personal adventure, please pass through the mirrorway."
Morningside for life, Kooz, Nixieharpist and AngelofMusic15 slipped through the mirror just as the great doors, obviously behind them, banged open, allowing the thunder and crashes of a violent storm outside to be heard."Well, well, well, what have we here?' Snape purred, coming up behind then with a billowing black cloak. (Imagine that with Alan Rickman's voice…swoon)
Erik: Alan Rickman?
Authoress: I'm accentist, what the hell do you want?With the sallow skinned Potions Teacher looing over them, the mirror gave a final shimmer, the mirror swirled away to nothingness.
"Do we have to do this for Buffy too?" Laivine Rosc-Hend asked, staring at the mirror, Adriana rolled her eyes, "Didn't you ever watch Once More With Feeling?" she demanded, "Oh yeah," the lilac trimmed knight looked ashamed, twitching her rose lined cloak around her black lacquered armour white and lilac tunic and breeches to cover her embarrassment,
"Right then," Adriana shook back her sleeves "Rest in Peace, the bridge, go!"
The DBCA all drew in a breath and began to sing, MetalMyersJason keeping in time with the hilt of her sword on the stone floor.
"I know, I should go…
But I follow you like a man possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed,
If my heart could beat it would break my chest
But I can see, you're unimpressed
So leave me be
And let me rest in peace!"
Erik: Stop dancing!
Authoress: Spoilsport, I like this song
The mirror cleared and a lone, bleach-haired vampire was revealed, leaning against a signpost and smoking a cigarette. He looked up sharply as DBCA member, Masked Grace, jumped through the mirror with a "Squee!" of delight to mob him. Spike went down in a shout of indignation and a flurry of black cloak and leather duster.
"Have fun, my masked friend," Adriana carolled as the mirror swirled away to emptiness.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Erik accused, she grinned at him, "Hell yeah!"
She turned to the remaining members, "Cap'n Meg, front and centre!" the burgundy lined girl darted to the front. "Now, I may be taking a punt at this, but I'm guessing you're after Jack?"
"Captain Jack" Cap'n Meg corrected, swishing her cloak excitedly.
"I stand corrected" Adriana lifted her hands in surrender, "A Pirate's life for me, on three if you will. One, two, three…"
"Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirates life for me
We pillage we plunder we rifle and loot
Drink up me hearties yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirates life for me
We extort we pilfer we filch and sack
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Maraud and embezzle and even high-jack
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirates life for me
We burn up the city we're really a fright
Drink up me hearties yo ho
We're rascals, and scoundrels, villains and knaves
Drink up me hearties yo ho
Yo Ho, Yo Ho a pirates life for me
We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs
Drink up me hearties yo ho" the girls chorused, "Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirates life for me!"
The mirror cleared just as the infamous Jack Sparrow was smirking at a sleazy barmaid in the midst of a fight in Tortuga. (You know when he has Elizabeth in the film and she had to put his belt on, that smirk…drool)
"You want him?" Erik spoke up incredulously, eyeing the drunken and dirty captain with distaste. Cap'n Meg whirled around smartly and slapped Erik lightly on the face to reprimand him. Then she turned and slipped through the mirror to link arms with Jack and quite literally drag him off into a dark alleyway, leaving a bewildered looking barmaid standing in a confused daze until another messy customer stumbled up. "Wait for me!" Bananas in Pajamas cried, struggling through the ranks to leap into the mirror and slip under Captain Jack's other arm. The rogue pirate looked rather bemused at his sudden good fortune as the two dangerous but desirable girls latched onto him and grinned at one another. Cap'n Meg dropping one hand to catch onto his belt as Bananas in Pajamas slipped his hat onto her head.
"I'm not entirely sure I quite deserved that," Erik commented, touching his cheek tenderly as the scene swirled away. For some reason, this struck the remaining members of the DBCA as extremely amusing and they doubled up in laughter. Adriana turned to her Phantom, laughter sparkling in her grey eyes as she swished her cloak expertly, "Poor Erik," she teased, "Want me to kiss it better?"
"No," he muttered, drawing back into the shadows again, Adriana looked disappointed and Erik was puzzled at the tiny trickle of regret that surged through him after his curt answer.
Erik: I changed my mind
Authoress: Okaaayyy…(evil grin)
"Okay…" the queen of the DBCA looked at her remaining subjects, "Who wants Star Wars?"
"Oh! Me!" Spunky-hyper-girl waved excitedly, clutching her Cookies of Doom box.
"And me" Blaze-LoganLover added.
"And us!" Muirgen258 and asingledarkcrimsonrose spoke up.
"Okie dokie!" Adriana gave her cape a flourish and struck a conductors pose with her sword. "The Imperial March!"
"Dum, dum, dum da da dum da da dum." The DBCA chorused
obediently,
"Dum dum dum da da da dum da dum.
Dum dum
dada dadada dadada da da da da dadadadadum dada da da dum.
Dum dum dada dadada dadada da da da da dadadadadum dada da da dum."
The grey mist on the mirror sank slowly into deathly blackness, the four Star Wars fans stared at it in apprehension.
"Choh-scooh, choh-schooh" the trademark heavy breathing of Darth Vader permeated the air around the DBCA and a single beam of red light snapped and hissed into view as the Dark Lord of the Empire ignited his lightsabre.
"You go first," Blaze-LoganLover hissed to Spunky-hyper-girl,
"No, you go first" she whispered back, staring up in awe.
Two metres tall. Bipedal. Flowing black robes trailing from the figure and a face forever masked by a functional of bizarre black metal breath screen – a Dark Lord of the Sith was an awesome, threatening shape as it beckoned to the suddenly terrified fans. (If you don't know…that bit is almost completely, word for word, from George Lucas's original Star Wars novel. Admittedly, it shouldn't really be here, but it was too irresistible not to put it in.)
Erik: You are addicted to science fiction
Authoress: You interrupted us for that?Erik: This is supposed to be a commentary chapter
Authoress: So?
"Oh what the hell," Muirgen258 threw caution into the winds, igniting her own lightsabre she jumped through and faced the Dark Lord. He regarded her for a moment with black soulless eyes and nodded once.
"Oh lovely" asingledarkcrimsonrose muttered, as Darth Vader turned to them once more.
"Come to the Dark Side!" his rolling voice proclaimed from behind his mask, "And together we shall rule the galaxy!" It was the voice of prophecy, nightmares, and doom, a tone that shook the listeners to their very cores. It was the voice that broke the spell, one by one the other three fans stepped hesitantly into the shadows to stand behind Vader, armed and dangerous in their cloaks and holding their heads high proudly. Darth Vader returned his empty gaze to the Phantom and the queen of the DBCA, the first time either of them had ever received any recognition from the other idols. He nodded briefly, lightsabre sweeping across in a salute of honour. They returned his acknowledgement with a deep bow and a graceful curtsey as clouds raced across the mirror once more.
"Oh damn!" Misty exclaimed suddenly, the other's looked at her quizzically, "I wanted to ask him to say 'Luke! I am your father!'" Erik and the remaining Dramatic Black Cloak Addicts gave her strange looks, she shrugged, "Well I did."
"Misty!" the voice echoed around the chamber, everyone looked up and around, startled into shocked silence, "I am your father!"
No one breathed until the last reverberation disappeared into silence down through the Phantom's labyrinth. "Well that was unexpected." Adriana murmured, the other's nodded their agreement in awe. Misty looked like she had died and gone to heaven.
Authoress: Misty! (snaps fingers) Misty! Snap out of it!"Alright girls, get yourselves together," Adriana clapped her hands, "Dracula 2000" All of a sudden there were some very, very evil and wolfish grins around the ranks, Adriana included, Erik took the opportunity to sneak further back into the shadows as they began to sing.
"Avoid the light
The suns in sightThe undead should be sleeping
Avoid the light
That cross so bright
My fledglings dropping, weeping
Avoid the light
Overt your sight
Go underground discreetly
Avoid the light, avoid the light, avoid the light, avoid the light…"
Erik: You haven't even seen the movie, how do you know the song?
Authoress: I've been trying! Believe me! And Google is a wonderful thing…
Their voices trailed away into nothingness as the mirror gave it's customary swirl and opened into a blackened room with dark stone walls and heavily curtained windows. Misty, trisana, Phantomchild199, Phantomsangel102, Pertie and kissofdarkness all slunk through the mirror warily, weapons at the ready. Adriana felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to find herself face to face with her double. "What do you want?" she asked irritably, trying to get a glimpse of Dracula, the plot device handed her a carton of cold triple fudge chocolate and Kailua ice-cream and indicated the mirror with a jerk of her head before disappearing in a flash of green and silver glitter. Adriana grinned, "Oy! Misty!" she yelled, the silver-trimmed girl turned and saw the 5 litre tub flying towards her and hastily caught it in her cloak, she looked at it in puzzlement, then a grin crept over her face. Suddenly an uncannily Gerik-like vampire leapt out of the shadows and Misty gave a wave of bliss as she was dragged off clutching (and in the clutches off) her prize. The other five phans, (or should that be vahnz now?) hastily followed her into a realm of eternal darkness and seduction. (Mwahahahaha, okay, I'm evil, and deliciously so).
Erik: What's with the icecream?
Authoress: Pretty please with icecream in the middle and Gerry on top? That's all I'm saying.
Adriana gave a half moan of longing and took an unconscious step forwards. Erik took her elbow and drew her firmly back to his side, "You, mademoiselle, are going nowhere" he said slightly possessively as the DBCA exchanged knowing grins.
"Oh don't look at me like that," she retorted to Erik as he gazed down at her, looking disturbed at the seduced look she wore, after having been confronted by one of the most seductive forces of all time.
"Pull yourself together then," he muttered, releasing her, but staying closer to her black and red form.
"So…" Adriana looked around, "What are we up to now? Van Helsing?" MetalMyersJason, Lady Assassin Moonbeam, Kodukadvakch and xLetYourDarkerSideGiveInx all nodded, "Hmm…All Hallows Eve Masquerade, everyone know the part that strange chick in the black dress sings?"
"That's not a song," Madame Opera Ghost exclaimed, Adriana shrugged, "So? It's the closest thing we've got. Now sing."
The four Van Helsing fans joined together to make an eerily high pitched and strange melody from the All Hallows Eve ball, their voices blending together in an odd round.
"I don't think it's working," Sapphire-aria muttered to Adriana, the queen frowned with worry as the clouds remained motionless, "There's got to be something," she murmured, biting her little finger in anxiety, the her brow cleared, "Ah" she smiled in satisfaction and stepped up to the other four.
"Gabrielle…oh Gabrielle," Adriana's voice sang out, imitating the Hungarian accent to the best of her ability, the mirror swirled away and a face off between the impeccably dressed Dracula and the rough and roguish Gabrielle Van Helsing was revealed.
"Tada!" she grinned, "Off you go my ducks."
As the four disappeared through the gold leaf frame, Adriana turned to her remaining six subjects, IflyNAVY, Nightshadesister-01, Reltistic, Sapphire-aira, Laivine Rosc-Hend and Madame Opera Ghost. "All for Lord of the Rings?" they nodded eagerly, "Well I hardly need to conduct you for this one then, of you go!" she waved them on proudly as the six One Ring to rule them all fans sang with gusto.
Authoress: I love this song"Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight
Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall fade."
"That one's not bad," Erik approved, Adriana beamed.
"Hang on," Reltistic caught their attention, "That songs from the third movie, why is all the Fellowship here?" they all crowded around the mirror to see the entire Fellowship, pausing for what may have been breakfast or lunch (or second breakfast or elevenses or afternoon tea or dinner or supper, you never can tell with hobbits), by the side of a worn track, set deep in a forest of tall trees.
"Well I'm not complaining," Nighshadesister-01 shrugged, eyeing off Boromir with undisguised longing.
"Same here" Sapphire-aria grinned, turning she extended a hand to Erik, who shook it cautiously, "Well its been wonderful and all that, but I'm afraid we really must dash," she handed him a lock of the Fop's hair, "This is for you, consider it a gift from all of us," she smiled, and curtseyed to her Queen, "Bubye now!" she leapt through the mirror and landed on a pile of dead leaves about twenty feet from the Fellowship.
The other girls were already down, squealing over the hobbits and casting surreptitious glances at the other members of the Fellowship who were looking around in near panic after the appearance of the strangely dressed girls who seemingly fell straight from the sky. Apart from Gandalf, who had lit his pipe and was already deep in conversation with IflyNAVY, nodding deeply at her words. Nightshadesister-01 paused at the mirror, one booted leg already through and hanging over the, "Thanks for the ride!" she grinned, and looked slyly at Erik, who had drawn closer to the light now that the passage was nearly empty, "Have fu-un."
"Good-bye Lathril," Adriana laughed and shoved her friend through the mirror, "Get thee gone." Nightshadesister-01 fell through the mirror with a squeak and straight into the arms of a bewildered looking Boromir. She had time to glance up and mouth "Thanks" to an amused Adriana before the mirror was swept away to nothingness.
Authoress: She owes me big time for that favour.
Adriana took a deep breath and shook her head to rid it of her growing headache. "And that was the last of them," she sighed in relief, leaning against the wall. Erik looked at her cautiously, "Are you not wishing to enter a new realm of adventure?" he asked, desperately wishing she wouldn't want to leave, "Nor some former home?"
"Nope," she shrugged and grinned at him, "I'm quite happy to stay right here."
"Then that is where I shall leave you,"
Authoress: Hey!…Erik replied, turning away so she wouldn't see him struggle to suppress his shout of delight, "I'll be in the lair if you need me."
"Oh ha, ha," she yawned, catching one of his hands to loop around her shoulders as she leaned into him with a sigh of contentment. Erik looked down in surprise as his fingers tightened of their own accord, "I juhuh…" she yawned again, "just hope you remember the way back to our home, because I get the feeling that sooner or later you'll have to carry me again." She snuggled in under his arm, unaware of the tender gaze of the Phantom on her golden haired form, pressing warmly against his side as he guided her back to his…no, their home by the lake.
Authoress: Emotional soul searching moment number 6! Go Me!Erik: Well done my dear, I'm proud of you.
Authoress: Really?
Erik: No.