Fox for Mayor!
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I don't own any SSBM character mentioned here.

Fox for Mayor
Chapter Three: Bowser good! Bowser good!

27 days until election

Television: a highly influential box which seems to schedule itself into everyone's life. Whatever the television says, the citizens of Summer believe. This is especially the case with the news. The recent overtake of television stations by the mafia has practically influenced how some residents think.

The mafia completely controls the news hour, having the biggest say in what goes on to air. If there were any segments about someone they didn't support doing good things to the community, these segments would be booted off to segments about rising crime rates, rising development woes, rising local tax rates and anything else that would harm their reputation.

This chapter of the story takes place the day after Link decides to run for mayor.

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"Welcome to Summers Local News," said a female presenter, looking at the camera, "And tonight, our top story is about the new challenger in running for the mayorship. Link, a Hyrulian swordsman has stepped up, claming he can decrease crime levels, and keep Summers as it was a few years ago."

A producer handed in a memo to the presenter.

"We have just heard of the news that we have another new candidate for mayor, everyone's favourite non-mafia-linked, Bowser!" said the presenter. "So that means that there are three candidates for the mayorship! Who are you going to vote for, Bill?"

Bill, the main news anchorman, with a memo stuck in front of his face replied, "Oh, I'm definitely going to vote for Bowser! He seems like such a server to the community!"

The anchorman was handed another memo.

"This just in, Bowser saved a puppy from a tree, visited the local school and donated all of his retirement fund to charity! What a guy! I'm surely going to vote for him!" said Bill, "Oh, and in other news, Falco and Link cause poverty and starvation in third-world countries! What pigs! And in this latest poll conducted, everyone who responded says they are voting for Bowser, and no one else! He's surely going to win! Don't miss out, vote Bowser! That's right, vote for Bowser!"

The presenter grinned unconvincingly.

---

As the local news theme song played, Link angrily switched the television off.

"There's something suspicious going on," said Link angrily, "I have a sneaking suspicion that the news station could be slightly biased towards Bowser."

"How about you go to the television station, and complain?" asked Zelda.

"Good idea!" said Link.

---

At the television station…

Link stormed through the front doors of the television station, walking up to the receptionist.

"I would like to complain about the content of your most recent news program!" said Link, angrily.

"Well, what was wrong with it?" asked the receptionist.

"The presenters were being handed memos, which seemed to be biased against me and Falco! Are the mafia controlling this TV station?" asked Link.

"Er… no…" said the receptionist.

"Oh- oka-"

Link looked at the receptionist's neck.

"Is that a leash?" asked Link.

"No… it's my… necklace…" said the receptionist.

"Good lie," said the mafia guy under the table.

"I think that's a leash," said Link, "Are the mafia tightening the leash every time you say something against them?"

"No, I don't even like the mafia!" said the receptionist angrily.

The mafia guy from under the table stood up, and tightened the receptionist's collar.

"Gaak!" said the receptionist, dying.

Link stared in shock.

"Did you- did you just kill the receptionist?" asked Link, eyes wide open.

"Er… no… it was… er… uh…"

"That's it! I'm calling the police!" said Link.

Link called the police.

The mafia guy from under the table's phone rang.

"Hello?" asked the mafia guy, "Police."

"WTF? You're the police?" asked Link, "What kind of dodgy town is this?"

"A non mafia controlled town," said the mafia guy.

Link ran out, squealing like a girl.

"I cannot believe this!" said Link to himself, "This makes me more determined to take the crime out of this town!"

The end
(Of chapter)

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