Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or any of the characters.
A/N: First of all I just wanted to give a warning again that Will is a little out of character. But I like it this way! Also the time has come for me to take a vacation. Two in a row actually and I will be gone for 3 weeks. I will be home for one night in between trips and I will try my hardest to make an update so you won't have to go 3 weeks left in suspense! Don't forget to review and thanks for being patient!
Will had been lying awake alone in bed for a good ten minutes. Thoughts of the previous night were running themselves through his head again and again. Elizabeth was not in the room and he wondered where she had slept. He prayed that she was not in Jack's room. Wiping the moisture from his cheeks, he got up slowly from his spot on the bed. He walked around stretching and stalling for time afraid to find Elizabeth.
Finally mustering up enough courage, Will opened the door and stepped outside expecting to see an empty hallway. He looked down and saw Elizabeth curled into a ball asleep against the wall beside his door. He sighed in frustration at his being inconsiderate and her stubbornness. Bending down, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her into their room. Her petite hands clutched at him as she clung to him and called out to him in her sleep.
Once inside the room, Will laid her on the bed brushing her hair away from her face inspecting the damage he had done. He grabbed a ripped piece of cloth and took it the dining hall dipping it in water from a basin and returned to his cabin. He lightly wiped her tear stained cheeks before carefully cleaning the dried blood from her lips and her chin. He then threw the cloth away and sat beside her on the bed, his eyes soaking up her presence. He placed a hand on either side of her face cradling her into him. He began to cry as he held her and gently pressed his lips to hers as tears slipped from his eyes and puddled on her cheeks.
Will had been slipping in and out of a sleepy unconscious when Elizabeth began to stir in her sleep. She reached up to touch her swollen lip confirming that her memories were from reality not dreams and her eyelids fluttered open bringing Will to a full alertness. He was sitting in the desk chair with his feet resting on the bed. His eyes immediately met with hers and neither of them dared to speak for several minutes.
Will removed his feet from the bed and scooted his chair closer to her. "You know……we need to talk."
"I know," she answered him quietly.
There were a few moments of silence.
"I can't believe you went and slept with Jack." Will knew this was not was he needed nor wanted to say but he was unable to stop himself and continued. "Was I not enough for you?"
"No, you're more than I could have asked for."
"Then what is the problem? What could I have possibly done to drive you to do that?"
"I don't know, Will," she said through silent tears. "Jack and I started to meet during the nights along time ago. It was exactly as I told you. We would talk and laugh. That was it, nothing more…but then one night we kissed. One innocent little kiss." Will quirked an eyebrow at that statement and she continued. "It just went further from there. I'm sure you don't wish for me to elaborate."
"No," Will said softly shaking his head as Elizabeth's mind drifted off down memory lane.
Jack and Elizabeth sat indian style across from one another on the floor. They had been engrossed in a game of cards in which Elizabeth had been losing horribly. They both laid down their hands and Elizabeth's had finally beaten Jack's considerably.
"You cheated!" Jack gasped playfully throwing his cards at her.
"Who me?" she batted her eyelashes innocently at him. He responded by lunging at her toppling over her and rolling her with him. The two laughed contented. "Uh, Jack…could you get off of me?" she laughed.
He lay there not moving an inch just staring into her eyes. Force pulled their faces closer and closer until their lips were touching. Jack deepened their first kiss. She could remember it like it was yesterday.
"Elizabeth," Will's words brought her mind back to the present and she nodded at him. He took a deep breath. "How long has this been going on?"
"I'm not sure. A few months maybe," her voice was so quiet he had to strain to hear it.
"A few months?" he was unable to hide the hurt and surprise from his voice. She only nodded her head in response still shedding silent tears. He took her hands in his own and brought them to his cheek brushing them lightly against his skin. "Why, Elizabeth?" he finally broke out into tears of his own. "Why?" he choked out again. "WHY!?" he screamed in her face throwing her hands away from him.
He covered his face with his hands as he freely cried in front of her causing her own sorrow and tears to intensify. She lay there and simply let him be, not wanting to anger him more. His tears began to slowly taper off and he stared her straight in the eyes.
"I was your first, Elizabeth, right?" he asked her desperately needing her to say yes. She quickly averted her eyes from him casting her gaze downward and her soft cries became harder. "Tell me I was the first, Elizabeth," his voice sad and growing angry at the same time. When she gave no answer, he jumped out of his chair with enough force to send it screeching across the floor before toppling over causing her to jump. In a flash, he grabbed her by the shoulders shaking her lightly. "Tell me!" his voice was pleading and desperate.
Elizabeth was still not answering and he knew. Deep down he had already known but it had now been confirmed for him. He shoved himself hard off the bed and began to pace around the room. Rubbing his face in his hands, he tried to calm himself.
He stopped his pacing in front of the bed pointing his finger at her. "You know," he started, "I could have done the same thing. You're not the only woman on this ship. I bet with a bottle of rum and a little wooing I could have bed Ana like that." He snapped his fingers for emphasis. "And not to mention all the ports we stop at are full of more than willing wenches. I could have anyone of them." He narrowed his eyes at her pointing matter-of-factly.
"I know," her tone was quiet.
"But I didn't even think about touching any one of them. You know why? Because I love, Elizabeth." His tears came full on again. "I fucking love you!" he shouted at her. He took a deep shaky breath before saying anything else. "How could you go and do that to me? To us? Look at what we've become. Look at me!" He held out both of his bare arms showing her his skin that was stretched taut over his bones. "Look what you've driven me to do." He rushed over to his desk quickly pulling out his flask. He opened it and turned it upside down letting all the contents spill on the floor. When it was empty, he tossed it over his shoulder and picked up two glass bottles. The last of his supply. He uncorked one taking a quick sip. "Does that make you happy? Huh? Does it?" He tossed both of the bottles against the far wall satisfied when they crashed and caused Elizabeth to jump. He watched as the glass and rum pooled on the floor with the one he had thrown the night before.
"Will, please stop!" Elizabeth cried out to him truly terrified of his behavior.
He rushed over to her once more kneeling on the floor beside the bed. Pressing his face close to hers, he spoke softly. "Tell me. Was it worth it? Was Jack worth all this trouble?" his voice cracked and all the anger drained from him. "I certainly hope so, for your sake." His breath was hot on her skin but caused her to get goosebumps. He became physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. Too weak to stand, he tipped the fallen chair back upright and crawled into it slumping back.
Elizabeth watched the even rise and fall of his chest. She truly noticed for the first time how pale and sickly he looked. She began to speak quietly to him. "Will, I'm sorry. I don't really know if there is anything I could do or say to make this up to you. Probably not, but…"
Will cut her off. "What are we going to do about this?" his voice was labored and tired.
"What do you mean, Will. What do you want me to do? What do you want to do?"
"I just want you to be happy. I'd rather you be happy with me but…if being with Jack makes you happy…" he couldn't even finish his thought. It was too painful to speak aloud. "What do you want to do?" his voice cracked again.
"I…I truly don't know, Will," she answered through fresh tears.
"Do you still love me?"
"Yes, of course. Do you still love me?"
"With all my heart. Do you…you know…love…Jack?" he had to force the words to come out.
"I…I…I don't know," she stuttered. His heart shattered upon hearing that.
Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" Will called out to the intruder.
"Ana," the voice on the other side of the door came out timid.
"Come in," Will invited.
Anamaria poked her head inside the door seeing the couple looking horrible. "Jack sent me to check on you two. No one has seen the two of you all morning. He was getting worried. Are you all right?"
"Actually, no, Ana, we're not all right." Will answered rubbing tiredly at his eyes.
She cast her eyes downward not knowing how to respond to him. "Oh," was all she managed to squeak out. She started out the door.
"Ana," Will called out to her. "Could you send Jack in here. There's a few things we need to straighten out."
"Of course," she nodded her head pasting a fake smile on her face. Closing the door, she headed up to the deck to summon Jack thinking to herself that there were troubled waters ahead for the three of them.