A/N: These chapters have been rewritten so many times! Now I think I'm on the right track. Thanks to Mel who did another amazing betaing job. Without her, I wouldn't have got this plot down! Intense chapters coming soon!
Chapter 2
Forever Fragile
Brass was the only one who knew about their relationship, although Sara was beginning to suspect that Catherine was catching on. As long as Ecklie didn't find out; it would be another reason for him to harass Grissom.
"How long has he been like this?" Brass asked, as Grissom continued to sit in his locked office, with the blinds closed.
"Ever since he left the scene." Sara announced helplessly. She wished she could comfort Grissom and find out why he was so affected. But she knew him well enough to know that he still held many secrets.
A feeling of anger suddenly swarmed through Sara's body as she thought of an explanation.
"He doesn't trust me, does he?" Sara said, as she continued to stare at the locked door.
"If he didn't, he wouldn't be with you now. Just give him sometime." Brass assured Sara with a friendly hand on her shoulder.
"You know why he's so affected don't you?"
"Sometimes a man carries many demons, some of them may be especially hard to let go of. Trust is never a factor in man's decision to hold secrets, sometimes they are just best to be kept hidden. When a man reveals his secrets, he is the most vulnerable…" Brass glanced from Sara to the closed door, further emphasizing his point covered in subtext. "Some men fear one thing more than anything…"
"Vulnerability." Sara finished the sentence knowing very well that was Grissom's biggest fear. It was the one fear that kept him from accepting her first offer at dinner. He had kept her at a distance, in fear of being vulnerable. But she thought they were finally past that. Although, when she looked back on what they had shared, one thing became clear. She had revealed more about her past than Grissom had.
He was keeping something hidden, and that something still scared his heart.
As Grissom sat in his office, he turned up the opera which flooded through his headphones. When he felt cornered by the harsh realities of the world sometimes the best thing he could do was shut it out. As he tried to lose his mind in the music, he couldn't stop seeing the baby he had found in the box.
Its face was so gentle, so caring. So many people long for a child of their own, how could someone end a life that had barely even begun?
For the first time in a while, a migraine unleashed its force, and Grissom was regretting not refilling his old prescription. In a way, he felt that he deserved the pain for what happened to him long ago.
He could have saved them, he could have found her.
They were both gone he knew, but he couldn't help but cringe as he looked at the photos from the crime scene. It was too close for comfort; he needed to be off the case. Catherine could take over, although that would bring too many questions.
…And then there was Sara.
She didn't know, and he didn't want her to find out. What would she think of him? She would fear the unknown for the rest of her life, and he didn't want that to be a factor in their relationship.
Brass was the only one who knew of his secrets, and he was the only one that he trusted. He didn't want to expose Sara to the world he had left behind long ago.
He needed to finish this case and find the one responsible; maybe then he could start to put his mind at ease and move on.