Chapter 23: Hello Old Friend
Ellie
I warily glanced around the room and placed my hands back on my hips. This was going to take awhile. Sean had seriously messed the house up in a matter of twenty-four hours. I cleared my throat and got to business. "Okay, Sean. This is how we're going to do it. I'll get my clothes off of the floor and put them away while you make the bed and get all of your dishes out of the bedroom. Then we'll just straighten it up a little- dust, vacuum, and whatever else it needs. Then we'll head to the living room and clean that up. Then the kitchen. And the last stop will be the bathroom. Got it?"
"The bathroom? The bathroom is fine."
"Ha! With you and Jay using it? I don't think so. I'm already preparing to use a gas mask and heavy duty gloves." I clapped my hands and bent over to start picking up my clothes off the floor.
"This is so dumb. The bed's just going to get used again tonight... Hopefully in more ways than one..." Sean glanced at me and wiggled his eyebrows.
I frowned in response. "Do you think I enjoy cleaning? I hate it. Haven't you ever seen my room?"
"Exactly! So why does my room have to be cleaned?"
"Because... Because..."
"Uh-huh..."
"Because I said so. That's why!" I realized at the last second who I sounded like.
"You know, you just sounded just like your mom."
"Shut up, Sean!" I gave a little pout and folded up a shirt. "Just start cleaning. Please."
He grunted, but started to pull the sheets and covers up on the bed. I watched him work as I folded a pair of pants. The muscles in his arms rippled with every move I made and I smiled appreciatively at them. It was going to feel amazing being held in those arms tonight.
"Whatcha looking at, Ellie?" Sean smirked at me in the midst of his work.
"Oh, nothing," I sang coyly. A faint blush spread across my cheeks and I turned around again, not ready to give him the satisfaction that I was thinking naughty thoughts about him just now.
I sensed Sean's warmth behind me before I felt his hands on my shoulders, lightly caressing them. I moaned softly in approval and leaned back into his chest, allowing him to work out all the knots that had gathered in my neck and shoulders in the past few days.
"Does that feel good?"
"Yes," I sighed. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself.
His lips brushed against the back of my neck softly before nuzzling his face into my braids.
"Okay, Sean. Back to cleaning."
"You're cruel," Sean groaned, circling his arms around me and crushing me against him.
"Sean!" I squealed, trying to get out of his grasp, but he lifted me up and carried me over to the bed before pinning me down.
"Ellie!" he imitated before crawling over me and trailing kisses down my neck.
I gave him a weak fight, half wanting him to stop and half wanting him to keep going. Finally, I gave in and kissed him back hard- making up for all the kisses I hadn't been able to give him last night. He moaned into my mouth and welcomed me home.
"Ee!" I shrieked when he started to tickle me lightly on my sides. "Sean!" I giggled as his hands dug into my armpits. "Sean! Stop! You're going to hurt-..."
"You're going to hurt the baby!" Jay pranced in and squealed in a high-pitched voice. "Sean! Ooh!" He put his hands on either side of his face and stuck his bottom lip out, letting it quiver. He shook his head in annoyance before muttering "get a room!" and going back into the kitchen.
Sean and I stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughter. I'm sort of glad I let Jay move in with us. He sure provides entertainment 24/7. We sat up and straightened our clothing. "Well," I began. "We should probably get back to-..."
"Cleaning. Got it." Sean nudged me off of the bed and straightened it back up. "Dishes to kitchen. Dust everything. Yes ma'am."
Jay
"Yup, Ellie's back!" I shouted as I took in the immaculate living room- organized DVDs and all. I opened the kitchen pantry and looked inside. "Labels facing out. Cereal in order. All the silver is polished..."
"Give it a rest!" Ellie popped her head out of the bedroom and stuck her tongue out at me.
"Real mature, Nash."
"Just taking after you, Hogart."
I shook my head and huffed around the kitchen, not knowing exactly what I wanted to do next. I could eat something, but I just ate something ten minutes ago. I could watch TV, but I just checked the station five minutes ago and nothing was on. I sighed and flopped down on the couch, next to Sean who was looking at some car magazine.
"Man, this place is dull."
"Sorry my place is so dull but you can leave whenever you want."
"And deal with that monster in there you call a girlfriend? She'd make sure I had my homework finished first or something."
"Her name is Ellie, and she's only human. She doesn't control you."
"Yeah, well, that's what she wants you to think," I remarked in a mysterious voice. "But then there's the mind control..."
"Mind control?" Sean looked up, interested now.
"Yeah, mind control. Haven't you noticed? Every time you guys get into a fight- you always end up apologizing, saying exactly what she wants you to say. And now, you actually do your homework by your own freewill. Don't you think that's weird? I'm telling you, man- she's controlling you with her mind."
"Now that you mention it... She does get her way a lot. You really think she's- you know?"
"Yeah," I nodded my head, solemn. "I saw a special on it on TV once. It's really sick how they get inside your head and send you messages through like their eyes and, like, lobes in their brains or something..."
As if on cue, she walked into the living room from the bedroom. Sean and I gave each other a look before slowly following her every movement with our eyes. We watched as she walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water before sitting down in front of the computer and checking her e-mail. After five minutes, she logged off and picked up some stupid baby book and started to read it Sean's armchair that had ultimately been given up for her to sit in only.
She read a few lines before snapping her head up and fixing us with a glare. "What are you doing?" she accused.
"Nothing," we quickly answered in unison.
She rolled her eyes and pulled her legs up to sit Indian-style. "Okay, Sean. I'm going to read you what the baby's up to this week. Week 27- This week your baby weighs almost two pounds and is about 14.4 inches long. He now opens and closes his eyes and sleeps and wakes up at regular intervals. He may sucks his fingers, and, although his lungs are still developing, they may function with assistance. If Mommy feels a tickle in her tummy, that may be the baby hiccuping! Most importantly, his brain is very active now. As for Mommy, her back and legs will continue to ache. Try flexing your foot or massaging your calves to help ease the pain. There."
"Interesting," I marveled sarcastically. I stole Sean's car magazine from him and flipped through it quickly.
"Whatever. Now, my next project..."
We both watched as she opened the small closet and pulled down a carrying case from the top shelf. Sean moved to get up and help her, but she had already succeeded in getting it down and safely in her arms. As she carried it back to the chair, the kittens- or what normal people would consider cats- scampered around her feet. She giggled and bent down to pet them.
"So, what is your next project?" I decided to humor her. Then I remembered that I had done just what she wanted me to do. She wanted me to ask about her new project. She wanted me to be curious. Dammit!
"I'm making a documentary on Sean becoming a dad. You know, a teenaged boy becoming a father. Usually the focus is on the mom, but I'd much rather know what Sean's thinking, since he barely ever talks about it." She shot a frustrated look at Sean as she put a tiny DVD into the video camera and juiced it up.
"Um, did I agree to this?" Sean held up his hand, trying to block his face.
"You don't have much of a choice." She shot him a saccharine sweet smile and pressed Record. "Sean, say something to the camera."
"Uh... hi?"
I laughed and leaned back on the couch. This is too much. Just way too much.
"Okay, then... Jay, say something to the camera."
"Okay," I leaned forward. "This is for the baby- baby, know now that your mother is nuts. Hear that? Nuts!"
"Jay!" Ellie turned the camera off and rewound it. "Thanks a lot."
"I don't want to start lying to the kid before he's even here. Would that be good for the baby?"
She shot me a nasty look and started the camera up again. "Okay, here we go again: Sean, what was your reaction when you first realized that I was pregnant?"
"Shit."
Sean and I burst out laughing as Ellie clenched her jaw and put the camera down. "Real mature."
"You wanted my honest reaction."
"Yeah, well I didn't think it'd be so heartless. So, if you two hyenas don't mind- I'm going to go in the bedroom and be by myself."
"Goodnight Princess!" I cried out as she walked behind the couch into the living room. She whacked the side of my head with her palm and slammed the door. "Hey!" I called out, rubbing where she hit me.
Sean looked at me thoughtfully. "So... you really think she knows mind control?"
Sean
I quietly opened the door a few hours later and shuffled my way in, careful not to wake Ellie up if she was sleeping. She wasn't. She looked up from her seated position on the bed and raised her eyebrows. "Yeah?"
"What are you doing?" I threw myself onto the bed and looked at the notebook in front of her.
"How do you know this isn't my personal diary?"
"Because I know what that looks like. And I've already read it," I teased. She wasn't amused.
"Ha. Funny. This is an article for the Grapevine."
"What is it about?"
"Well, I got the idea from Emma, actually. Did you know that when Emma's mom was pregnant at Degrassi, they actually made her leave school?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. The school board didn't want her around because she was a 'bad influence'. Isn't that crazy? How things have changed, huh?"
"Yeah." I scratched my head and picked up one of the papers. "So, what exactly is your article about?"
"Just about that whole ordeal and how things have changed these days. The options pregnant women have, rights of the father, stuff like that."
"Sounds interesting. Looks good, well-written..." I nodded my head in approval as I looked over her article and gave my pointless advice.
"Thanks." She put the papers into a pile and set them on the floor next to the bed. "So, we should probably talk."
"About what?" I played dumb. I really didn't want to talk about what happened. Haven't I talked about it enough with her mom and dad? I'd rather we just forget the whole stupid thing and never look back.
"Don't, Sean. Listen, I don't really want to talk about this either-..."
"So then let's don't."
"But we have to. Otherwise, we'll just keep making the same mistakes over and over again. So, how about we do this: I talk first- I get out what I want to say. And then you can talk."
"How come you talk first?"
"You can talk first if you want to."
"No, I don't."
"Okay, then. I'll talk first." She pulled lightly on one of her braids and let out a deep sigh. "I've already forgiven you for what you said, okay? And I think after we talk about it, I could probably forget all about it. But I want you to understand why I was so upset."
"I do understand, Els!" I pushed.
"Don't interrupt me. Let me talk. I was upset, Sean, because I trusted you, and you really let me down. You just don't seem sympathetic towards the fact that I'm trying here, but it's hard. It's hard work to stop doing something I've been doing since I can remember, okay? You just seem to get frustrated with me because I can't go and eat a three-course meal right now. And then you get mad at me because I stand up for my parents. Of course, I'm going to stand up for my parents. You just always seem to blame everyone else for your problems! And then you have to tell everyone my problems to make yourself look better!" her voice rose at the last part and she was shaking slightly.
"Are you finished?" I asked softly.
She shook her head. "There are so many more things I want to say that I don't know how to express. I just don't know how to say it."
I held one of her hands. "Believe me, you don't have to say anything. I can just look at you and know what you're feeling. You are so-... You're face is so... It says a lot."
She bent her head down and looked at our hands. "Okay, you?" she looked back up at me.
"Me?" I coughed and looked around the room. "I don't know, Els... Can't we just go to sleep or... something..." I wiggled my eyebrows, but she wasn't amused.
"Sorry," I apologized after seeing the disappointed look on her face. "Okay, you want to hear it?"
She nodded and sat up straighter.
"Fine, I'll tell you. I am frustrated. Because I'm always the bad guy. I can never do anything right. I'm the guy who needs his girlfriend to help him do everything- to pass a test, to pay rent, to keep myself from stealing things and... It's just stressful feeling like I can't do anything without your approval or like I can't do anything wrong because you might leave me. I hate having to live my life under your rules. Or your parents's rules. I'm seventeen, Ellie. I don't need another mom. You just think you can do whatever you want and it's always the right thing! Well, maybe it's the right thing for you, but not for me. I know how to take care of myself. So I stole stuff, so I drank a lot- I'm not a bad person. But you act like I am!"
"Sean, I-..."
"Don't you interrupt me! I can't stand the fact that I'm constantly worrying about you. Why can't you just be okay? Why do you have to cut, why do you have to starve yourself, why do you constantly put yourself into situations where you're always stressed out about something? I don't want to take care of you the rest of my life- I want to have to fun with you. But I'm going to have a baby soon, and I won't be able to have fun anymore. I have never had so many responsibilities in my life until the day I met you. This isn't normal."
I stopped to catch my breath. I can't believe I had just released all of that pent up anger. I had been carrying that around with me for a long time. But I had to take care of Ellie and make sure she was okay, so I couldn't show her it. I couldn't be the weak one in the relationship because she already was.
I watched as Ellie got off of the bed and crossed the room, trailing her fingers lightly along the wall. I watched as her shoulders tensed up and her chin trembled a little. "I'm sorry you feel like you have to take care of me because you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't. How are you supposed to take care of me? Are you a therapist? Do you have some Ph.D. that I don't know about? You're right, you're seventeen. And I'm sixteen. Meaning I can also take care of myself. What are you supposed to do to help me? Tie me up and force food down my throat? I don't think so, Sean. It's my choice if I eat or not. It's not your problem. It affects you, yes, but it's not your job to save me. That's my job. Your job is to love me. Do you love me?"
I didn't hesitate. "Yes. I love you. I really love you. That's why I put up with this."
"I don't want you to 'put up' with me."
"I do."
She ran a hair over her braids and let out a long sigh. "We have a lot of stuff to sort through. More than I thought. I didn't know you felt this much."
"That's why I don't like talking about it. I don't want to upset you."
She gave me a small, comforting smile. "You're not upsetting me. I'm relieved that you've finally told me what you think. I don't like being some controlling wench, Sean. I don't want you to think that I don't care what you want. I do."
I let myself smile and walked over to be next to her. She laced her fingers through mine and held them to her chest. We stayed that way for awhile, enjoying the silence between ourselves. Ellie looked deep in thought and she wrapped her arms around my neck. "So, what are we going to do?"
"Compromise."
"How so?"
"I don't know. Start little. I won't ask you if you eat each day, if you give me a little space."
"What do you mean by 'space'?"
I could tell she was starting to get freaked out by the thought of giving up some of her control. She likes having control. That's part of the reason she does what she does to herself- she thinks she's in complete control. But she's not. "Let me decide when I want to do my homework. I don't want to live on a schedule anymore. And I don't want to have to make sure I put back my Cheerios in between Honey Bunches of Oats and Frankenberry whatever-it's-called. I have better things to worry about, Ellie. I'm going to be dad."
She nodded and twisted her hands. "I- I guess I can give you a little more room."
I breathed a sigh of relief and hooked an arm around her neck. "Come here, kid."
I brought her to me and kissed the top of her head. I've never felt so... relaxed. Everything's off my chest now. I don't have to hold back all these feelings in fear of hurting her. I can just tell her and now I know she won't freak out.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being honest with me. For talking to my parents. For standing up for me."
I kissed her in response. Long and slow on the lips. We lingered in the moonlight streaming through the small window in my bedroom. I know we fight and we get angry at each other every now and then, but it's okay. I'm really okay with that. Because then there are the times that we can just be near each other, and I'm completely happy. I know she pushes me, and I know she's a little controlling at times, but I also know she loves me entirely.
"I have something for you." I kissed the tip of her nose and released her from my arms.
"What's that?" she asked curiously.
I walked over to my backpack and pulled a binder out. "I was going to put it in your locker, but... I wimped out. So here." I handed her the sheet of paper and she laughed.
"It's beautiful, Sean!" Her eyes lit up as they scanned the picture of Donald and Daisy Duck that I had colored for her. She hugged me quickly and looked at me mischievously. "I have something for you, too."
I raised an eyebrow and followed her as she reached into her black bag and pulled out something. I laughed when she handed me the colored picture of Chip and Dale. "I guess we both had the same idea, huh?" I asked.
"Yeah," she murmured, a sweet smile brightening up her face. I loved when she allowed herself to fully be happy and smile at me like that. "I can't believe you colored for me."
"Hey, if Jay's man enough to do it, so am I. Besides, he practically begged me."
"Oh, I see."
"Yeah. Hey, Els... Do you know anything about mind control...?"
There's another chapter for all you wonderful readers! Next chapter: Tracker/Ellie bond and an emergency situation.