Chapter 24: Tears in Heaven

Tracker

I opened the door with the key Sean had given me to use while I was in town. I was only staying for another week- my parents had already gone back to Wasaga earlier today. But my little brother needs me right now. I mean, things weren't going so well for him and Ellen... Ellie... whatever name is. Supposedly they're back together, but, knowing Sean's track record, they'll be over again by the end of the week. I threw the keys onto the small kitchen counter and made my way into the living room, beer in hand.

And almost tripped over the girl. She was lying on her back on the floor, pillow behind her head, watching the TV. She didn't even move as I stopped next to her. I cleared my throat and she still didn't acknowledge my presence. I glanced at the TV and saw some dumb 80s movie on. Does this girl live in a time warp or something?

"Um... hello?" I tried out. I snapped open my beer and took a swig. Man, it wasn't even six yet, and I'm already drinking. I really need to limit myself. I don't want to end up like my parents, now do I?

She turned her head, her red hair fanned out around her, and made eye contact with me. "Oh, hey. I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, well, I'm smooth like that." Of course, as I said that, I managed to spill some beer down the front of my shirt.

She rolled her eyes and smiled sardonically. "Yeah... Real smooth..."

I immediately liked her.

I watched as she struggled a little to get into a seated position and grimaced. "This kid's playing soccer or something. It's killing me."

"Yeah, wouldn't know anything about that." I sat back on the couch and spread my long legs in front of me. "So... Ellen, right?"

"Ellie. Cracker, right?"

"Tracker."

"Oops. Sorry." She feigned an apologetic look and took a little sip from the water bottle next to her. "So what's up? Sean's not here."

"Yeah, I can see that. I don't know. Just hanging out. My parents left today, so no more hotel room for me. Looks like I'll be using the couch."

"Well, looks like you'll be using the floor. Jay's sleeping on the couch. Unless, you two want to share it."

"Yeah, I'll think about that. Um, no."

"I think it'd be sweet. We'll figure something out."

"Where is that little weasel? Usually he'd be cleaning out the fridge by now."

"Yeah, I don't know where he is. Did you not see the fridge? It is cleaned out. I'm going to have to freaking grocery shopping tonight."

"Cool. I"ll make a list."

"Yeah, cool. I'll get what I want."

"You have to get pizza bagels. Life isn't complete without them."

"Yeah, I'll definitely pick those up. What do they have- like fifty grams of fat in just one?"

"So, you do have an eating disorder." I shrugged and took another drink. "That sucks."

Her face reddened, and she gripped the pillow in her lap as if the world depended on it. "Yeah, it does. And I don't want to talk about it."

"How do you do it? I mean, the whole starving and puking thing? That's so gross. I have to eat like every twenty minutes or I get lightheaded. And there's no way I'd stick a finger down my throat. No way."

"Didn't I just say I don't want to talk about it?"

"Sorry."

"Yeah... well... So, where do you live now?"

"Alberta."

"Cool. What do you do there?"

"I'm in the oil business. Boring, but good pay."

"Sometimes you do what you have to do."

"That's true. What about you? You work?"

"I help out at a TV station from time to time. Haven't had much time lately with the whole baby thing, but whatever."

"So, is my little brother going to have to work all the time and pay the bills or are you going to help out?" I raised an eyebrow. There was no way my baby brother was going to be stuck with all the bills. He needs to concentrate on his schoolwork and staying out of trouble.

She glared at me. "My parents are paying the bills right now. Sean's been spending his money on who knows what. He won't even tell me what he spends it on."

"Good for him."

"Are you trying to make me hate you or something?" she flashed me a look of annoyance, and I laughed.

"No, I'm not. I come on a little strong, I guess."

"Yeah, just a little. What happened to the cool, laid-back brother Sean said he had? Here you are grilling me about everything."

"Oh, the cool and laid-back brother is still here. I just have to look out for my bro."

"Well, I look out for him, too. That's something we have in common."

"Yeah, that's something. Too bad I don't share the same love of John Hughes movies like you..."

"John Hughes rules."

"No, he does not."

"Yes, he does."

"No, he doesn't."

"There's no point in arguing this." She turned her face to look back at the movie. "But he's still awesome," she blurted out over her shoulder.

"Wow," I mouthed to myself and took another swig. I watched in mild interest as the movie plot unfolded on the screen. Five kids in detention on a Saturday. Oh, how it brings them together. Blah. Blah. Blah. As if they'll even continue to be friends.

"You want to hear something weird?" Ellie asked.

"Why not," I shrugged. It's not like I had anything better to do.

"Sean and I met in detention. What do you think about that?"

"Wow, what rebels."

"I think it's cute. But don't tell anyone I said that. Oh God, my favorite part. I love when Molly Ringwald dances."

"I bet it makes your day," I drawled with a lazy smile.

"It most certainly does," she smirked.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Did you listen to Cyndi Lauper when you were younger?"

"Yes, I did. And still do. How can you beat She-Bop?"

"Oh God..." I reached into my pants and quickly scratched myself.

"Ew." Ellie wrinkled her nose delicately. "Could you not touch yourself in front of me?"

"It was a scratch. You're acting as if I just jerked off in front of you."

She gave me a pointed look. I made a weird face at her and she looked away, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

The door opened and slammed, jarring the silence that had fallen in between us except for the Breakfast Club in the background. Jay Hogart threw himself into a chair and changed the station with the remote next to him.

"HEY!" Ellie stood up quickly and reached for the remote. A painful look flashed across her face and she stopped in mid-lunge.

"Are you okay?" I asked as she fell to her knees, clutching her stomach.

She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, tears starting to spill out. She shook her head silently; the look on her face gave away her condition. Jay turned the TV off and kneeled next to her, gently touching her stomach. "What's wrong?"

She just shook her head and clutched onto the shoulder of his shirt. I jumped up and looked around the room for a phone. "I'm calling 911." I spotted the cordless phone sticking out from behind a pillow on the couch and grabbed it, quickly dialing the three numbers.

"Yeah, I need an ambulance. My brother's girlfriend is pregnant and something's wrong." I gave the dispatcher the address and stayed on the phone with her while she assured me that an ambulance was immediately on its way.

Jay grabbed a pillow from the couch and put it under her head as she clutched onto him, sobbing. I tried to listen to what she was saying, but I couldn't make out anything with her crying. I heard the words "Sean" and "baby" before she burst into even more tears and whimpered, "I want my mommy."

Jay looked at me with a wild look in his eyes and gestured towards the phone, "Get her mommy!"

I stood by helplessly as he whispered assurances to her, petting her hair. Do something, Tracker. You worthless piece of shit. Do something! "Ice!" I blurted out. "Do you want some ice, Ellie?"

She didn't stop crying. Jay gave me a look as if I was crazy. Doesn't ice fix everything? Ice always makes me feel better. I crossed the room and sat next to Ellie, taking one of her hands in mine. I'd only really met her just a bit ago, but already I knew she was someone special. If I let anything happen to her, Sean would never forgive me. "Shh... Ellie talk about the baby. About the future. Tell me all about your plans."

Jay

I continued to stroke her long red hair as she tried to make sense through her crying. I could see little beads of sweat forming on her hairline, and I wiped them away. I squeezed her hand with mine and looked at her face as she talked about the future, her eyes closed tightly.

"... and the baby will grow up and have tons of friends and be very involved in school. I won't tell him or her that they have to have perfect grades because I know what it's like to feel that you have to be perfect to mean anything to anyone. And I'll never push them to do anything they don't want to, like being a plastic surgeon or an accountant or something. And I really think the baby will be very talented in music and art. And if it's a girl I'm going to buy her a pony. And if it's a boy, I'll-..."

A knock sounded on the door and Tracker jumped up to answer it. A group of men hurried in and kneeled down next to her. One of the guys asked me to move aside, but Ellie cried out when I tried to leave. "No!" She held onto my hand.

"How far along is she?"

I looked helplessly at Ellie and shrugged. "Seven months, maybe? A little more? I really don't know."

I watched as they quickly examined her and gave each other a curt nod. "We're taking her in. I think she's ready to deliver."

I stared as they wheeled her away, trying to calm her down as she kept saying it wasn't time. She wasn't ready. Tracker clapped a hand on my back and gave me a little push. "Man, go with her. She needs someone."

I ran a hand through my hair quickly and nodded. She did need someone to go with her. I just wish Sean was here. She needs Sean.

Sean

I wiped my greasy hands on the towel and sat down on the small chair in the corner of the garage. I only hand another fifteen minutes left of working, and then I could go home and relax. I sighed and took a drink of the coke next to me. Joe, one of the other guys who works at the garage, made his way over to me and leaned against the wall. "You outta here soon, kid?"

"Yeah. Fifteen minutes."

"Must be nice. I'll probably be here for another hour or so. Not everyone has a girlfriend to go home to." He smiled at me. Joe was probably twenty-nine years old or something and single. He's always complaining about his disastrous dates and all the girls he can't have. I think he just prefers complaining more than actually going out and trying to find someone.

"Yeah, well, I'm just glad she's back in the apartment with me."

"Yeah, good thing that worked out. When she due?"

"A little under two months."

"Scary, huh?"

"Yeah. Very scary," I agreed. Very scary. I can't believe in two months I'll be holding a little baby. My son or daughter. And I'll be entering into a whole new stage in my life. A stage full of diapers and bills and baby food and getting up in the middle of the night... The old me would have hated the thought of all of this- hell, I still kind of do. I mean, this is seriously going to mess with my social life and normal routine. I'm going to have to give up everything for this kid.

But part of me is also excited at the fact that I'll finally just have something that's my own. I'll finally feel like there's a fucking purpose to my life. Someone depends on me, and if I wasn't around who knows what could happen. So it's cool to have something that makes life complete.

The phone rang on the wall next to me, and I grabbed it. "H'lo?"

"Is Sean there?"

"Jay? It's me." Why was Jay calling me at work? I swear, if he even asks to borrow money, I'll kill him. He knows I'm saving my paychecks.

"You gotta get to the hospital. I'm here with Ellie."

"What happened? Is she okay? The baby?" I couldn't stop myself from asking questions. What if she wasn't okay? What if something bad happened to her or the baby? Or both? I couldn't handle it. I don't think I could handle losing anyone right now.

"Man, just get down here. She needs you."

I hung up the phone and collapsed back into the chair, my breathing shallow and forced. Ellie had to be alright. My baby had to be alright.

"Sean, are you okay?" Joe put a hand on my shoulder and shook it.

My head snapped up and I tried to form words. "I- I have to go. Ellie. Hospital." I started to head outside.

"I'll drive you, son."

I stopped and looked back at Joe. What was he talking about? "Oh," I managed to say. I guess he's right. I don't have a car. And it's not like the hospital is right next door or anything.

He told me to wait where I was and he'd bring the car around. I don't think I could have moved even if I had tried. Why couldn't Jay just tell me what was going on? Why did he have to make it sound like something bad was happening. Nothing bad could happen. It just couldn't. It wouldn't be fair.

Life's not fair. I hated when my parents used to say that all the time. Whenever I complained about living in a freaking trailer when everyone else at school had normal homes. Or when I couldn't go to the movies with my friends or to the carnival or whatever stupid event that was going on that seemed so fucking life or death to me back then. Everything was so life or death back then, and it was stupid. I know life's not fair, but how much is one person supposed to take? How much am I supposed to take?

How much is Ellie supposed to take?

"Come on, kid. Hop on in."

I grabbed for the door handle and slid into the car, not really noticing much of anything. I stared out the window as we whipped through the streets heading towards the hospital. It's bad. I know it is. Jay wouldn't freak out like that if it wasn't. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to show it. I wasn't going to cry over this. It wasn't really happening.

"We're here, Sean."

I quietly thanked Joe and declined his invitation to walk me in. I needed the short walk to clear my head and think. I needed to stop looking like such a mess. I needed to-

"Sean!" I looked up and saw Tracker walking towards me, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"What happened?" I choked out.

He shrugged and let out a heavy sigh. "She just... collapsed, man. I don't know. They're looking at her now. They think she's going to deliver."

Too soon. I blinked rapidly and shook my head slowly. "No. She can't. It's too soon."

"Well, bro, she's going to. You should get in there. She's... she's going crazy."

I nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. Not another word was exchanged between us as we made our way to Ellie's room. Tracker knew to give me my space. He knew I was probably beating myself up for not being there for her. And he's right. I am beating myself up. I should have been there.

The elevator opened, and I saw Ellie's parents outside of her room. Her mom was pacing as her dad sat rigid on a chair, his eyes unblinking. Mrs. Nash nodded at me when she saw me, but her dad didn't even move. He just kept staring at the door in front of him. I looked at the closed door. Room number 666. Great. As if that isn't an omen.

"She's going to go into labor."

I turned my head and stared at her mom. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at the floor.

"Why?" my voice cracked. I didn't know what else to say.

She shrugged and snuck a glance at her husband. Still silent. Still frozen. Still staring. I don't even think he was breathing. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the noise at the end of the hall. I turned around to see Marco heading towards us, tears streaming down his red face. Jesus Christ, he was fucking hysterical.

"What's going on?" he cried out.

Ashley and Paige flanked his sides. Each trying to calm him down. I don't think I've ever seen a guy cry before. I stared in amazement as Marco collapsed into a chair next to Mr. Nash and bent over, sobs taking over his thin frame. Paige sat next to him, every now and then rubbing a hand on his back. Ashley stood next to me and gave me a look.

Jay headed towards us, Alex in tow, holding Styrofoam cups of coffee. He held one out towards me but I declined it. Coffee just reminds me of Ellie. Ashley took one and so did Paige. Mr. Nash didn't even notice the cup of coffee Alex was holding out in front of him. I guess he's taking this a little hard right now.

I stood next to the door, trying to listen to what was going on. Jay came to my side and pressed something into my hands. "I brought this."

I looked down and saw Ellie's video camera. I looked back up at him.

"You know... in case she gives birth. Isn't it your job? To tape her or something like that?"

I tried to smile to show him my appreciation, but I couldn't. He clapped me on the back and headed back over to Alex and the others. The door swung open suddenly and Dr. Martin came out.

"Okay, folks. It looks like Ellie's going to be having the baby today. Can I have immediate family only come in and see her?"

Marco started protesting that she was like his family, but Ashley quickly shut him up. I threw him a dirty look and started into the room with Ellie's mom. Her dad was still sitting in his chair. I don't even think he heard Dr. Martin.

"Christian?" I called from the doorway.

He didn't stir.

Mrs. Nash put a hand on my shoulder and told me she's be there in a second. I watched as she walked over to her husband and started whispering to him.

"Sean?"

I quickly headed over to the hospital bed and grabbed Ellie's hand. She looked horrible. Her eyes were rimmed with red and her teeth were chattering uncontrollably.

"Shh. I'm here," I whispered, stroking the top of her head with my free hand. She burst into a new round of tears and dug her face into her pillow.

"It hurts," she whimpered.

"I know," I consoled.

"How the hell do you know?" she barked, her eyes turning into slits. She took her hand away and clenched her fists tightly against her body. "You have no idea what it's like."

"I know! I was just-..."

"Just what? Trying to make me feel better? It's not working. How dare you come in here and act as if you know what it's like to be pregnant and go into labor. Did you really think I'd believe you?"

"Will you stop yelling, please?"

A nurse smiled at me over the top of a chart. "Her nerves are shot. It's normal."

I lifted a corner of my mouth into a smile. Ellie snorted and folded her arms, jutting out her jaw in a look of total defiance. "As if you have any idea the amount of pain I'm in right now," she muttered.

I put a hand on her stomach. "Believe me. I do," I whispered, holding back the tears. "I've been going crazy worrying about you and the baby."

She looked up at me through her lashes. "You have?"

"Absolutely."

She gave me a weak smile and a few tears slid down her cheeks. "I'm so scared," she admitted, in a hushed tone.

"Me too," I responded.

She groaned and a flash of pain went across her face. "It hurts so much. I've never experienced anything like this before."

I didn't know what to say to help her. There wasn't anything I could say to stop the pain. Instead I held her hand and rubbed her belly lightly with the other. The door cracked open and a few more nurses came in along with Dr. Martin and Ellie's parents. I gave Ellie a smile and stood up, letting her dad take my spot. I stood on the other side of the room and watched them. As Ellie's mom stroked her hair and told her what a good job she was doing, her dad just held onto her hand as if his life depended on it. I've never seen him lose it before. He bowed his head down, and I saw the tears drip from his cheeks onto the bed sheets.

I sat in a small chair in the corner of the room, just looking around the room and taking it all in. Ellie was going to give birth today. I was actually going to become a father soon. I could be holding my own baby in my arms in a matter of hours. The thought scared the shit out of me. I wasn't expecting this. I was depending on these last two months.

I half-listened as one of the nurses garbled out some sort of medical nonsense. I tried to pay attention, but I couldn't tear my eyes and thoughts away from Ellie in her bed. She looked so small and helpless laying there. Her parents surrounding her just reminded me that she's still a little girl. She's only sixteen. I looked on helplessly as she shivered in her bed and cried about how painful it was.

I did this to her. I got her pregnant and now she's in serious pain. What a joke. Guilt washed over me as I took in her suffering. I should've been more responsible. I shouldn't have gotten so caught up with her. Why did I have to go and fall in love with her and do this to her?

"Sean?" Dr. Martin stood in front of me, a smile on his face. What the hell was he smiling about.

"What?" I snapped.

"I just thought you might want to get your camera ready."

I looked back over at the bed and saw that Ellie's parents were gone now. Instead, two nurses were helping her get in a different position.

"Why?" I asked lamely.

"It's time, Sean."

I wasn't too happy with this chapter. I don't know. Comments/rants? Ugh. Anywho, next chapter will be the actual birth of the baby, which I probably won't go into too much detail since I'm not a doctor and don't know exactly all that goes on... So, deal with me. So next chapter will be full of warm fuzzies as Sean and Ellie welcome their baby and everyone meets him/her for the first time. I'm so flattered by everyone's reviews! Yay!