Hi everyone!

Jeez, it's really been a long time since I updated last time. I'm sorry. My computer crashed – infected with 36 viruses ­– and I'm leaving for Australia in less than a month, so a lot of my attention has been on preparing for the trip. Just the packing… I can bring 20 kg (40 pounds) in packing – which is waaay too little for six months in my opinion. So, I'm trying to prioritize right now…

Anyway…. I'm gonna give you three chapters today and then I'll try and update up to chapter 20 before I go away to Australia, because after that I don't know how the internet solution will be…

Thank you all so much for the feedback!!!! :-D

Have a fabulous day!

*hugs*

Josephin

Chapter 8


Maria nervously knocked on the door to the Parkers' residence. Why had they been so eager to meet with her? Why did she feel like things were about to change drastically - again? And why did she feel like she was about to reveal something that wasn't hers to tell?

The door flew open and she was faced with a rather pale looking Jeff Parker. Maria had only seen him like this once before. On the day of Liz's funeral. Her first thought was that Liz was actually dead this time, but before her mind got the chance to trigger a barrage of uncontrollable, upsetting, and revolting emotions, the logical and cautious part of her (which had become more and more evident since she had found out about the existence of the Czechoslovakians) calmly reminded her that Liz's parents still didn't even know that Liz hadn't died that night five years ago... No, it had to be something else.

However, as Jeff waved her inside and she caught her first look of Nancy Parker, she knew that whatever was going on was something big. And then her eyes fell on the book lying in Mrs. Parker's lap and her heart almost lurched to a complete halt. It was Liz's journal. Before she had any more time to contemplate this horrific realization, Jeff told her to sit down. She hesitantly sat down, trying to avert her eyes from the diary and concentrate on acting innocent and ignorant of whatever they had to say. But it was as if the diary had a special impact on her, and it kept pulling her eyes towards it. It was the same diary that Liz had been hysterical about when she discovered it was missing a couple of years ago.

She had arrived at Maria's doorstep in the middle of the night, telling Maria that her journal was missing. At first, Maria hadn't thought it was such a big deal. Sure, you write down every thought, every embarrassing feeling in them, but so does every other teenager who keeps a diary. Maria didn't understand the seriousness of the situation until Liz explained that she had written everything in that journal.

Everything.

About Max. About his, his sister's and best friend's unique origin. Unless Liz had pulled out all of the pages from that diary after that incident, Maria was pretty convinced that the book lying on the couch was basically a ticking time bomb. All of her various feelings and thoughts finally summed up to one phrase that kept running through her mind; Have they read the diary?

"Hi, Mrs. Parker," Maria said lightly, but the trembling on her voice gave her casualness away.
"We need you to read something," Mr. Parker said, giving his wife a nod. Maria swallowed loudly as Mrs. Parker stood up and walked over to her, placing the diary in Maria's lap and then turning it to the last pages. Maria looked up into Mrs. Parker's eyes and she felt shivers running down her spine at the signs of despair and hurt she saw there. She took a deep silent breath before she gathered all of her concentration to focus on the last pages Liz had written in her journal five years earlier.


I feel like I'm falling. Falling into a bottomless hole, with no ladders or ropes to help me out. With no light to put warmth back into my dark existence. Ever since Future Max came to me and told me that I had to give up the love of my life, and with that the greatest reason for me continue living, my life lost its purpose. The only remnants of what used to be my heart are painful shreds that are burning and stinging as if they had been drowned in corroding acid, and it gets worse every time I have to tell Max another lie. Every time I have to deceive him I also destroy a piece of what I am and what I believe in. But that's not even the worst part. Despite the fact that I'm so tired, so very tired, that sometimes I just want to lie down and cry myself to sleep, to not only sleep for a few restless hours, but for an eternity, death scares me as it is now following me around in everything I do. In every painful breath I take.

I'm dying.

I know it. I can feel it deep in the core of my being. I can't eat, I can't sleep. Last week I fainted from the mere exhaustion my worn-out existence has forced me into. Not even Max was able to bring any light to the dark nightmare that starts in the nights and stretches into the traitorous lights of the next day.

Max.

My efforts paid off, I managed to push him away. I can even live with the fact that I'm dying if it meant that I didn't have to see that hurt in his eyes. The hurt I put there. And yesterday, my heart soared as a saw something in his eyes that I hadn't seen there in a long time. Life.

My mind keeps pushing him away, wanting to protect him. Wanting to protect him from hurt, because truth is, I'm the one who hurts him the most. But the last remnants of my still-beating heart beg him to listen to me. To listen to that voice inside of him that I'm convinced knows that I didn't sleep with Kyle. To listen to what we used to be - our love. The love neither one of us can let go off. We are both hurt, and that love has been put through more trials than imaginable, but it still lives on. I can still feel the small fluttering in my heart as I see him, even though my mind is screaming at me to push him away to prevent the end of the world.

Under all of that hurt and despair in his eyes, the eyes that used to hold so much gentleness and warmth but now are so lifeless that they scare me, I can still see a small, although damaged, part of that warm love that used to shine through his eyes so brightly. The light I crushed to death because he asked me to. A future version of him, but him nonetheless.

His faith in me that he somehow manages to cling to dazzles me. I keep pushing him away, showing him that I don't need his help. Trying to make him understand that he has a destiny that doesn't include me, a destiny with Tess. That doesn't stop him from continuing to spend all of his free time at the Crashdown, watching me as I work. The intense gaze of love is gone, but I can still feel his eyes on me. He watches over me and it makes me feel safe, protected beyond comprehension. It doesn't matter how much I try to push him away because my heart gives me away. And Max still knows my heart. He always has...and probably always will.

Yesterday I blacked out in the middle of class. Biology class. Which meant that Max was right there beside me. It didn't take him long to connect with me and search for my lost soul in my mind. And I realized once again how he keeps risking everything to keep me safe. We were in the middle of class and so there were several people around, but that didn't stop him from entering my mind, falling unconscious as well. That is one of the reasons I still love him and will always love him, for his incredible unselfishness and caring for the people around him - for me. He risked everything for me even when we didn't really know each other. Starting with dissolving a life-threatening bullet inside of me.

He pulled me back. His love for me lead the way and I was dragged out of the dark pit my mind had ventured into. After class he wanted to heal me. I was so scared of the thoughts of dying that kept invading my body, leaving me in a paralyzed state of numbness. Knowing that he had the power to make everything better, I gave in, my mind for once too tired to object. But as we were in the Eraser room together, the memories of a happier time too strong and overwhelming, the realistic part of my being gained strength and started to come up to the surface. Max was so close. Jolts of electricity I've never experienced before went through me as his hands brushed the sides of my breasts as he lifted me up on the counter. I didn't want his hands to leave me, but we weren't where we had once been. There were too many conflicting emotions between us, too many obstacles to overcome, too many hurtful memories.

He pulled away, but only to ask me for permission to connect with me. His hands protectively cradling my face made me want to escape the harsh reality and seek refuge in those eyes of his that, for the moment, were not cold. The hope shining in them was so clear. I could feel his...essence surround me, his scent filled not only my nose, but every pore of my body, my whole body smelled him. That's when my mind awoke, filling me with memories of what Future Max had told me about Michael and Isabel dying, and I pulled away. The confusion and hurt in Max's eyes was too much for me to bear, and I hastily run out of the room - leaving him behind me.

And now I'm more afraid than ever. Will I die alone? Will I die without ever having the chance of feeling Max's lips on mine again? Will I die without feeling his love wrap around me? Will I die without ever getting the chance of making love to him? My heart cries - bleeds - for the life I'll probably never have.

Hesitantly, Maria looked up from the pages and she could see the dried stains from Liz's tears as she had tried putting her painful feelings into words. They knew everything, Maria concluded as she met their intense gazes. She shifted nervously in her seat, their unwavering focus making her squirm. Finally, Maria met their eyes without blinking, wondering how much she should tell them.

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One week earlier


"So, how do we do this?"
"I'm not quite sure-"
"You're not quite sure. Well, that sounds just great."
"Michael, let him speak."
"Sure, Maxwell..."
"Kira, please continue."
"Well... The Granolith was constructed in such a way that only let it be activated by the king and queen together."
"But I thought that I was the only who could activate it."
"Okay...'activate' is probably not the correct word... um... You, Max, activate the essential parts of the Granolith, but you need your queen to be able to activate the whole apparatus."
"By 'queen', you mean Tess?"

"Yes..."
"Well, that is a problem. Tess is dust."
"Yes, Michael. I'm quite aware of that. That's why the Granolith has a backup mechanism."
"What does that mean?"
"Whoever the king decided to bond with would also be able to activate the Granolith. Since there was always the risk that Ava might perish during the incubation during the journey to Earth or before the memories had gotten a chance to fully awaken, this backup was built in to further guarantee that the king returned."
"What if Max died?"
"Well, that wouldn't be good. Without the king, the survivors would be trapped on Earth because the king is the only one that is able to activate the Granolith."
"Does this mean that Liz would be activating the Granolith with me?"
"Yes."
"Okay, we should get started. The more time that elapses, the more of an advantage Nicolas gets."
"Yes, I agree with Max. So, how do we do this?"

----------------------------------------------



"I-I don't even know where to start," Nancy said, her voice trembling.
"Have you read Liz's diary?" Maria asked, although she was pretty convinced that she already knew the answer to that question.
Mr. Parker nodded in confirmation.
"I don't understand," Nancy said hoarsely.
Maria swallowed, and took a deep breath.
"Liz isn't dead," she whispered.
"What?!" Mr. Parker said, bolting up from his seat. Mrs. Parker turned pale and looked as if she were about to faint.
Maria was looking at them, trying to decide what to say as the last thing Michael had said to her before leaving Earth flashed through her mind.

You have to keep our secret safe, Maria, and remember that I'll come back to you.

He hadn't said that he loved her, but she knew that promising her that he would return was the same as a love declaration in his book. Michael had always wanted to return to his home planet. He had never considered Earth his home. He had been convinced that he didn't belong on Earth, but that he was wanted on his home planet. The fact that he was willing to give it all up just to return to her spoke volumes about his love for her. She wanted to keep their secret so much, and she would have, if it weren't for the fact that the Parkers had obviously already found it out. Now they only needed her to confirm what they had read.

"She's not dead...but she's not here either," Maria said.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Mr. Parker asked.
"She's...uhm...away," Maria stuttered, her nervousness growing under Mr. Parker's scrutinizing gaze.
"Maria, please tell us. What's going on?" Mrs. Parker pleaded with her. "Jeff and I have spent the last thirty six hours reading the most unbelievable tale. And the most dazzling thing about it is that it isn't even a fictitious story. It is a description of the secret life my daughter was presumably leading. However, we don't know if our daughter was going mentally insane or if we should really believe this. You were her best friend, Maria, and you've known us since you were old enough to speak. So please, Maria. Tell us what happened to our baby girl."
Maria looked deeply into Liz's mother's eyes, knowing that she owed them the truth. The truth Liz probably had wanted them to know.

"You've read about the shooting, about Max healing her?" Maria asked. The Parkers nodded silently.
"I don't know what Liz has written in her diary, but knowing her I would guess that she has documented most of it. So I'm gonna start where Liz diary ends. Five years ago Max and Liz broke up. Well, they weren't really together at the time, but Max was trying to convince Liz that he loved her and that he didn't care about Tess Harding."
"The new girl, right?" Mrs. Parker asked.
"Yes," Maria answered.
"Before you continue, I need to know something. Is Max really an...an alien?" Mr. Parker asked, the disgust evident in his voice.
"Yes. Yes, he is. And so are Michael and Isabel."
"My God," Mrs. Nancy gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.
"Has Max hurt Liz in some way?" Mr. Parker asked.

"No. Well, at least not physically," Maria said, "I strongly believe that Tess messed with Max's mind somehow."
"I don't understand," Mr. Parker said.
"It's complicated. I don't know how much you know about Tess and her powers."
"Um...well, we're still trying to get used to the fact that there are actually aliens around with powers, and one of them was dating our daughter," Mr. Parker said.
"Right," Maria said and took another deep breath, rubbing her forehead with her fingers, "I guess you should make yourself comfortable. This is going to be a long story."