By now, he was a living taboo, everything about him was wrong in the eyes of society. One, he tried to bring someone back from the dead using alchemy. Two he was a soul, bonded to a suit of armor for four years. Three he used the philosophers stone to retrieve his body and his brother's limbs. And four, well his fourth taboo hadn't happened yet. Three weeks and three days, en counting.
7.
The next morning, when Al awoke, he felt empty for some reason. He felt as though he was numb, and didn't really feel happy nor sad. He wanted to cry, but sometime during the night he stopped and couldn't start again. He had been broken. He knew what he wanted was not only wrong, but could never be possible. How ironic, all he wanted for the four years he was in that metal body was the ability to feel, so that he could be happy again. But now that he finally could feel again, he was more tormented than ever.
'Why, why has this happened to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why does this hurt so bad?' Al just lay there, in bed staring at the wall opposite his window, the bright light hurt his eyes. Usually Al would go and wake Ed, after he took his shower, but he couldn't get up.
After a while Ed awoke on his own. Once he used the bathroom, he noticed Al was still in bed. 'Can't let him sleep in today, we're already running late.'
Ed knocked on Al's door before he came in, fearing if he just walked in it would be a repeat of yesterday's incident. "Heh" he chuckled at the thought. There was no reply to his knocking. "Hey Al, wake up. We're gonna be late for work." Still no reply.
'Was he that tired last night?' Ed knocked a bit harder. "Al come on, get up..." Still no reply. "Alright, if your having any 'Exciting' dreams you'd better stop now, I'm coming in."
Ed nearly gasped when he saw Al, huddled under his bed sheets. He was pale, and had dark rings under his eyes. He didn't even aknowledge Ed's presence. Worried Ed rushed over to sit next to him.
"Al, what happened, are you okay? Here let me feel your forehead." Once again, Al stopped him. "..."
'Why wont he let me touch him.' Ed thought sadly. Al still wasn't looking at him, just staring blankly at the wall.
"Al, please. Tell me what's wrong." Desperation heavy in his tone.
Finally Al spoke, voice hardly audible and husky. "I'm not going to work." He still wasn't looking at Ed, even as he spoke.
Ed sighed, 'He still won't tell me. Oh Al what's wrong!'
"Why Al."
"I'm sick."
"That's not what I meant."
Al didn't reply, there was a long silence then, Ed staring at Al, Al staring at the wall. After a while Ed couldn't take it any longer, he could feel a prickling in the corner of his eyes, he got up and walked out of the room closing the door. Al knew he was still there on the other side of the door, just waiting, waiting for anything.
Al didn't remember hearing Ed's footsteps leaving, but he knew he had gone, and suddenly, Al felt cold.
Edward Elric rarely ever cried, but on that morning, he shed a tear.
8.
"So what's wrong with Al?" Winry asked inquisitively.
"I told you this morning, I don't know." Ed was getting annoyed, she had already asked him that question three times this morning.
"Did you even ask him?"
Now he was pissed. "Of course I did, what, you think I don't care about my little brother!" He growled back.
"That's not what I meant!" Winry defended herself. "I meant did you ask him what his symptoms were, jeez calm down."
Ed just glared, he did react a bit harshly.
He sighed, "Yes, I asked him," Ed said, voice a little calmer. "and he didn't tell me."
"He didn't tell you? That's odd."
"Yeah, I know." The two stayed silent for a while as they cleaned some auto mail parts in the shop. "This isn't the first time he's acted strange lately."
"Really, what else has he done."
"It's weird, some times I'll catch him deep in thought, and when I ask him what he's thinking about, he gives me some stupid excuse. Ever since he told me he was..." Ed stopped, he had forgotten that Al still hadn't told Winry he was gay.
"Ever since he told you what?" Winry asked suspiciously, she had noticed how quickly Ed cut himself off. "Since he told you what, Ed?"
"Nothing, forget I said anything."
'Ugh, your such an idiot Ed.' Winry thought as she glared at him.
"Why won't you guys tell me anything, I don't know why you're mad at Al for not telling you anything, you act the same way sometimes!"
Ed didn't reply, he only started scrubbing his automail piece a bit harder. Winry just sighed, she was used to not knowing all the details.
"Okay forget about it, we're talking about Al here, let's stay on that subject. So, why do you think he's been acting so strange?"
He didn't know what to say, he couldn't really finish this conversation unless Winry knew. He sure as hell wasn't going to bust Al out, 'I'll just have to be careful with what I say.'
"Well, I think that since he got a fourteen year old body back, instead of a ten year old's body, he's having trouble adjusting. You know, puberty and all, I think he's finding things out about himself he didn't know before, and he's having trouble dealing with it."
"Possibly, but if it were that, why would he have trouble telling you?"
'Damn it, this would be so much easier if she knew.'
"I think, that whatever he found out scares him, and he probably thinks it's wrong so he's afraid to tell me." for some reason, as Ed created this hypothesis to fool Winry, it dawned on him that he had never even thought about this possibility. 'Maybe Al really does thinks he's disgusting.'
"Well if that's the case then maybe you should sit him down, and tell him you won't be mad or anything, then maybe he'll trust you enough to tell you."
"You know what Winry, that sounds like a good idea." 'I'll sit Al down tonight, and have a serious conversation with him. Then maybe he'll tell me what's bothering him.'
The door to the shop opened as Aunt Pinako walked in. "I've made lunch, I think you should take some to Al, Ed."
On any other day Ed would have been happy to do so, but today wasn't one of those days. Luckily Winry saved the day.
"I'll go granny, I don't have anything important to do." Winry wanted to ask Al what was wrong herself.
"Sure, just be back soon, we've got an appointment today."
"Yeah, I know, I won't be too long."
Once aunt pinako left the room, Ed spoke up. "Thank's Winry, and please don't mention this conversation to Al."
"Don't worry I won't."
Al was still in bed by the time Winry arrived.
9.
"Helloooo, Al? I brought you lunch." Winry yelled as she stepped through the front door of Ed and Al's house. "Aaalll? Where are you?" silence.
'Could he still be sleeping? I'd better look around.'
Alphonse didn't even look at Winry when she stepped into his room. 'Woah, Ed wasn't kidding. He looks terrible.'
"Hey Al, I brought you lunch." Winry waited for a response, there was none. Setting the bag containing Al's lunch on his nightstand, she took a seat on his bed next to him. Even then, he didn't move an inch. "Al how are you feeling," she began rubbing his back, "what is it, do you feel nauseous?" Still no reply. 'Why is he acting so strange.' Winry felt extremely sorry for Al now, she could tell this was something more than sickness.
"Look, I wasn't supposed to say anything, but Ed is really worried about you and..." At the mention of Ed's name, Al finally looked up at Winry.
'His eyes...there so...sad.' They seemed empty, and cold. Winry hadn't seen his eyes like this since their mother died. "Al what's wrong?" Winry asked desperately. "You can tell me if you don't want to talk to Ed about it, I won't tell him, I swear."
Once again Al's eyes focused on the wall. 'This must be really bad, he won't tell Ed or me. I hate this, I feel so...helpless.' Winry, decided Al probably wasn't going to say anything, "I need to head back to the shop, but if you need to talk, about anything, I'll be here for you Al." her tone was sad.
Winry rose from the bed and walked to the door, but just as her hand reached the door knob, "Winry..."
She spun around. "Yes, Al." his voice had startled her. "What is it."
It took Alphonse a while to answer, "Have you ever loved someone?"
Winry thought for a moment before answering. "Of course I have, I love you and Ed and Granny..."
"I didn't mean that kind of love."
"..." Winry knew that wasn't what he meant.
"...Yes, I have." Winry paused thinking. "Is that what this is all about? Are you in love with a girl who doesn't like you back?"
"What if the person you loved, could never love you back." Al continued.
Winry gave him a strange look. "Al maybe this girl just doesn't know you well enough, all you have to do is..."
"It's not a girl."
'Not a girl? If it's not a girl then...oh...OH!'
"Al," Winry asked wearily. "do you want to tell me something?"
Al rose to a sitting position on his bed, pulling his arms from the sheets. He focused his eyes on them now, as they clenched and unclenched.
"It's just...It's just I...I love him so much and...and..." A drop landed in Al's palm, then another, and another. He couldn't hold it any longer, before long, he raised he hands to his face and began to weep.
Startled, Winry rushed to his side and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Oh Al, don't cry. Please don't cry." Winry could barely keep from crying herself, as Al rested his face in her shoulder, wrapping his arms around Winry's waist.
'I get it now, Al must be in love with some guy, but the guy isn't gay, so he can never love Al back. Oh Al, I'm so sorry.'
For a while Winry just held Al in her arms as he wept, it deeply distressed Winry to see Al this hurt. But what could she do, all she could do for Al at the moment was hold him. Let him know he wasn't alone, that's all he really needed. So Winry did, she held him for a long time as he cried, and not once did she let go.
Eventually Al quieted down, Winry loosened her grip and backed away so she could get a better look at him.
"I'm sorry, Al." Was all she could say.
"What should I do?" Al said, Voice husky.
"Well Al, there's not much you can do. You just have to be strong, you'll pull through this and you'll be just fine, I know you will." Winry pressed her cheek to the side of Al's head. "You've always been strong."
"So your saying I should just forget about him?"
"No, never forget this Al. I once had a similar experience," Al turned his head a little in surprise. "Yup, that's right, the guy I once loved turned out to be gay, and even though it hurt really bad and all I wanted to do was forget about him, I couldn't."
"So, What did you do?"
"I made a decision, if I couldn't be his lover, I could at least be his friend. That way I wouldn't ever have to forget him and we could both be happy, so I tried to be the best friend he ever had. You see Al, it isn't easy, but you have to make a choice, live with him, or without him, whichever is better for you."
Al stayed silent for a while as he processed Winry's words.
"Just remember, no matter what, you'll be okay. No matter what choice you make, Ed and I will be there for you." Winry hugged Al a bit more. "I have an appointment back at the shop, but if you want I can cancel and I'll just stay here with you, if you want."
Al took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "No, that's okay Winry, I need some time to think."
"Okay Al, but if you need anything, anything at all..."
"I know."
"...alright, well I'll see you at diner Al, feel better."
Winry walked over to the door and just before she stepped out, "Winry..."
"Yeah, Al?"
"Thank you...thank you for everything." Al smiled a bit
"Your welcome, Al." She returned the smile.
While leaving Winry realized she was over an hour late for her appointment, 'Oh no! Grannys gonna kill me!'
Winry learned how painful a wrench to the head could be that day.
10.
After being scolded for half an hour, and treating her wound with a large bag of ice, Winry immediately began her hunt for Edward. After looking around the shop for a while she finally found him sleeping under a tree in the backyard. Den, who was lying next to Ed, new exactly what that look on Winry's face meant, RUN AWAY!
As soon as Den was clear from her path Winry lifted the wrench she had been carrying as high as she could, and with bone crushing force, slammed it right on the top of Ed's head.
"YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! WINRY, WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Ed yelled rubbing the growing lump.
"Your such a jerk!" she swung again, Ed dodged the attack, missing by inches Winry smacked the tree. There was a loud crack noise as the bark shattered.
"WOAH! WINRY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" He yelled frantically as he dodged attack after attack.
"How could you! How could you do that to him!" Ed managed to snatch the wrench and toss it as hard as he could.
"What are you talking about! What did I do!"
Winry took a while to regain her breath, "I had a little talk with Al, about his little secret."
"Oh...you did, huh." Ed began to sweat and fidget nervously.
"How could you do that to him!"
"Um...well...you see..." Sweat was running in streams down his face.
"Why didn't you tell him!" Winry interrupted his stuttering.
"I was afraid okay! I was afraid." He looked away
"Afraid of what! What in the world could have scared you? The moment he told you he was gay, you should have known he wouldn't care! But no, you had to go and be 'Mr. Secretive' and now look at him, you could have helped him."
"I know! I'm an idiot and I screwed up again, I'm sorry okay."
'He's doing it again.' Winry knew that when Ed felt cornered in an argument, he tended to blame himself as a way to defend himself when he didn't know what else to do. 'Your so stupid Ed.'
"Look Ed, Al has a problem with something and you could help him out with it much better then I could."
"You don't get it." His voice sad.
"Don't get what, Ed?"
"What if...what if I messed up something in the transmutation...and Al turned out to be this way because of me. I mean, think about it, he never seemed to be gay before. Now he gets his body back and all of a sudden he is."
"Think about it Ed, he wouldn't have known he was gay at the age of ten, he was too young. But at the age of fourteen, his hormones are totally different. So when he got his body back as a fourteen year old, all the things other people learn about themselves in the four years between ten and fourteen were thrust into him, in a matter of minutes. He wouldn't have shown any signs the four years he was in the armor because he was basically ten the entire time. That's why it seems as though he just found out he was gay, because he did!"
Ed took a while to think about what Winry had just said, 'Damn it, I hate Winry. Why is she always right. Must be a girl thing.'
"Ah, I guess your right."
"You bet I'm right! Now, what are you gonna do?"
"Well, I guess I'll tell him when I get home then."
"Good, jeez you two are too much, you know that."
The two of them started for the shop with Den at their heels.
"So what else did you two talk about?" Ed asked.
"Well, I told him about the guy I loved once."
Ed looked sideways at Winry, "Really, so he knows that story?"
"Not all of it. You know it, why don't you tell him the story. He'll probably like it."
"Yeah, maybe."
Once the door to the shop closed behind them, there was a loud crashing noise. "What was that?" Winry said as Ed quickly looked out the window overlooking the back yard.
"That was you Winry."
"Huh?" She said as she pushed Ed out of the way to get a better look.
An old tree died that day.
11.
Al listened to Winry as she shut the front door, and began walking back to the shop. Looking over at the bag of food on the nightstand, Al decided he didn't feel like eating, he had too much on his mind.
'Winrys right, if I can't be with brother the way I want, then I'd rather be with him the way I always have, as his brother.'
Although Al wanted more, he knew he couldn't live without Ed either. 'Okay, then from now on I'll do what Winry did with that one guy, I'll be the best brother I can be for him. After all, that's really all I could ever be anyway.'
Al felt a little better, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. 'I mean, I was able to live with him fourteen years straight without any problems, I'm not gonna let this get in the way of that. I just have to be strong, I know I can do it. I lived on after mom died, and I can live on after this too.'
The more and more he thought about it, the better he felt. The day seemed a bit nicer then, and the colors in his room a bit brighter. 'Yeah, I can do this, and if I keep on dreaming about Ed, well, I'll just have to deal with it. Because if I don't, then it will destroy what's left of our relationship, and I won't let that happen.'
He didn't feel like crying anymore, and the food on the nightstand looked a bit more appetizing. 'It's not like I have to stop loving brother, I will always love him, I just have to be careful with my emotions.'
He could feel again now, and he felt...happy. rising from the bed he grabbed the back of food and looked inside to find a sandwich and an apple, along with some chocolate. He was very happy once he found the chocolate.
After eating lunch, washing up and getting dressed, Al went outside and sat down under a tree. He liked sitting there on nice days, it made him feel better when he was in a bad mood or just sad. 'Alright, when Ed comes home today, I'm gonna be the same old Alphonse he knows and loves.'
Al sat there for the remainder of the day, just feeling happy. The day progressed normally, besides a loud crashing noise Al suspected to be a falling tree, he just sat and waited for Ed.
Al awoke, and it was dark and cold, 'What happened, last thing I remember I was sitting under the tree and...'
"Hey Al, wake up," Ed was standing over Al, shaking his shoulder. "how long have you been out here?"
Al took a moment to think before answering. "I don't know, maybe a few hours."
"Well, I brought you diner so you wouldn't have to walk to Aunt pinako's place, you know since your sick and all." Ed was still a little weary, he didn't forget how strange Al had been acting.
'He's probably still mad at me, well now I can make it up to him.'
"Brother, sit down with me, I want to talk to you."
Ed stood for a while, giving Al a searching look, before setting down the bag of food he had, and taking a seat next to Al. "Alright, is this about the way you've been acting lately, because I know your not sick."
'Duh, brother.' Al thought as he looked sideways at Ed. He could see him perfectly, it was a cloudless night and the moon was shining brightly above them. For a while he just stared at Ed, While Ed stared out into the rolling hills of Resembool, refusing to meet Al's eyes.
Taking his eyes off of Ed and taking a deep breath Al replied, "Yes brother, this is about the way I've been acting."
'Wow, I sound calmer than I thought I would.'
Ed noticed it too, his voice wasn't filled with sadness, or happiness. It was calm and neutral, he actually found it very soothing considering how nervous he himself was.
Al continued, "I know I've been acting strange lately..."
"Sure have." Ed interrupted, sounding slightly resentful.
Al brushed the comment aside and went on. "Any way, I've been acting weird because...well, because I had something on my mind that really bothered me. I don't want to say what it was, but I just wanted to let you know..."
Ed stayed silent, waiting for Al to continue.
"I...I'm sorry brother, sorry for everything. Sorry for acting so strange, sorry for not talking to you, and sorry for making you worry so much. I just want things to go back to the way they were."
Al waited for Ed to reply, and after a long silence, he did. "Al, I don't know what's been bothering you so much lately, and I wish you'd tell me. But if it's that important to you, then I'll respect your privacy." Ed turned his head to meet Al's eyes, "Apology, accepted...you weirdo."
Al smiled widely. "Thanks brother, for understanding."
"Ah, don't mention it, that's what great big brothers are for." Ed smiled.
'You are a great big brother, and I'll do everything I can to be your great little brother.'
The two sat there for a while, looking at the stars in silence. Then Ed remembered his talk with Winry earlier.
'Oh yeah, that's right, I'm supposed to tell him.' Ed looked over at Al. He looked so happy, staring up at the moon.
'Damn, I can't tell him now, he looks so happy. If I did it now it would ruin his mood. And then he might get mad at me.' Ed didn't know what to do, he was starting to get nervous again. 'I have to though, I told Winry I would. Okay suck it up Ed, you can do this.'
Ed opened his mouth to start, then shut it and looked away quickly. 'Come on Ed, you can do it! Your the freaking Fullmetal Alchemist, champion of the people. You've fought the famed Flame Alchemist, killed homunculi, and yet your afraid to talk to your brother? DO IT ALREADY!'
"Al?" Ed nervously interrupted Al's star gazing.
"Yes, brother."
"There's...well there's something I've been meaning to tell you."
Al noticed Ed wasn't looking at him, instead his head was bowed, and he was using his bangs to cover his eyes. "What Ed?"
'Alright, now just do it, say it and get it over with.'
"You see, Al. There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now, but..."
Al was starting to get worried, 'Oh no, not now, please don't tell me something that'll mess everything up, because for some reason that's what I feel your going to say. Something that'll mess up the whole moment. Just my luck, right when I think I've got everything figured out between brother and I, he throws me a curve ball. Just great.'
"You see, Al. I...well..."
'Damn it, I suck. Winry's gonna kill me.' Ed gave up.
"You have some chocolate on your lips Al. I was gonna tell you earlier but I forgot. Heh, heh." The words came out faster than Ed meant them to.
'Smooth move, Ed' He could already hear the sickening crack of Winry's wrench bashing his skull.
"Is that it, is that all you wanted to say?" Al sounded very confused, who could blame him.
"Yup that's it."
"Phew, thank god. I thought it was gonna be some huge, life changing secret or something." Al continued to wipe his mouth with his hand.
Ed stiffened up a bit. "No, no. Come on Al. You know I don't hide anything from you. Now come on, let's get inside, it's cold and you must be hungry."
"Yeah...hey wait a minute." Al said as they started for the house, "I had that chocolate on my lips that whole time and you didn't say anything?" Al thought back to what he must have looked like, he felt very embarrassed.
"Well, Yeah, I mean, you were being serious and all, so I didn't want to interrupt."
"Oh, great. So you let me look like an idiot the whole time instead." Al, wasn't really mad. Ed knew that too.
"Well it's not like it would have helped much. You always look like an idiot." Ed smirked.
"I, always look like an Idiot? What about you, what were you thinking wearing tight, black leather pants all those years. I mean who does that." Al countered.
Now it was on.
"That's it Al you, asked for it. I learned this little trick from Winry!"
Ed suddenly pulled a wrench out of like thin air.
"What the! How did you do that." Al took a step back, he knew he was in for it now.
Ed had an evil and twisted smile on his face. "Hey Al, come here, I wanna show you something."
"No way brother!"
"Come on Al" Ed said seductively, "You'll really like it."
"Your starting to scare me Ed, put that thing away."
Ed chuckled a little.
"HAH! Your such a sissy Al." Ed laughed.
Al pouted, and crossed his arms, "Well, I wasn't really afraid, besides...you couldn't even reach my head with that, you'd need a step ladder."
Ed's laughing stop abruptly.
'Uh oh, I should have left it at the pants.'
Al spent the rest of the night hiding in various spots around the house, as Ed chased after him. Even though he had a few, rather large, bumps on his head the next morning, he was happy.